Lexi set her jaw and crossed her arms over her chest. “I didn’t agree to any of this.”
Ian shrugged and closed the door to his bedroom, giving them some privacy. Whether she agreed or not at this point didn’t matter. He’d be damned if he’d watch her destroy herself. She could fight him as much as she wanted, but they both knew she’d lose.
“Explain to me again what you think you’re doing?”
“It’s all very simple,” he said as he sat down on the overstuffed chair in the corner of his room and patted his leg in an invitation to join him. Instead of joining him, however, she lifted her chin and took several steps in the opposite direction. That little show of defiance had him aching already. He shot her a look of warning, but she ignored it.
“You and Patrick will live here, with me, at least for the time being, while renovations continue on the house. Then we’ll see. I’ll take you wherever you need to go during the day. You can rest here at night while I’m working downstairs. Taryn will be here to help with the kids and whatever else you need.”
She smiled. When she spoke, her voice was far too sweet to be genuine. “Really, Ian, you can’t possibly be serious.”
“Oh, but I am, baby,” he said, his voice deliberately pitched low and seductive, though his heart was pounding. It wasn’t going to be easy winning her over, he knew that. But he would.
He patted his lap again, beckoning her. “Come here and let me show you how serious I am.”
“I don’t think so.” Her tone was cool, uninterested, but he knew it was a lie. Her eyes gave her away. His heart leapt with hope, along with his arousal.
“Don’t make me come over there and get you, Lexi,” he growled, deepening his voice. She shivered, but stood her ground.
“Don’t make idle threats, Ian. I have nothing you want, you’ve made that perfectly clear. But if you’re feeling a little anxious, I’m sure there’s some young thing downstairs that’ll have you. You know, someone strong and healthy enough to handle a big, tough guy like you.”
He absorbed the blow, seeing it for what it was – a self-defense mechanism. But there was no defense for the all-out attack he had planned.
“I don’t think so.” He made no attempt to hide his body’s natural reaction to her as he stood up slowly. Her eyes flicked the length of his body and back up again. “Only one woman can satisfy me, baby.”
“Yeah?” she taunted, but he saw the familiar flare of heat in her eyes as she took a step backward. “And who might that be?”
Ian’s eyes dipped lustily toward her chest as he stepped toward her, his movements smooth and graceful like the predator he was. “Come here and I’ll show you.”
“Go to hell, Ian.”
“I’ve been there, baby. For more than a year. And I’m ready to come home.”
“Aren’t you afraid you’ll hurt me?” she asked, continuing to back up until she felt the wall behind her. Ian continued his unhurried advance until he was only inches away. His palms pressed against the wall on either side of her head, caging her as he leaned forward until nothing separated them but the thinnest slice of air.
“Yes,” he admitted, his voice little more than a tortured whisper. “But I’ll die before I hurt you again, Lexi. And I’m going to trust you to be honest with me this time. Can you do that for me?”
“I never lied to you,” she protested.
“You let me ravage you, Lexi,” he said, his lips skimming across her forehead, along her temple, her cheeks. “And it hurt you.”
“You didn’t hurt me, Ian,” she gasped, lifting her chin to give him access to her neck. “You never hurt me.”
“I saw the bruises, baby. I have nightmares about what I did to you.” Ian kissed his way along her jaw, his touch scorching, yet infinitely light. Lexi bunched her hands into his hair, and he wanted to shout at the bliss of it.
“Not your fault...” Lexi arched into him. Ian groaned, low and deep, the rumble vibrating through both of them.
“God, I love how you taste, Lexi.” His mouth dipped lower, his tongue licked along her collar bone as one hand reached up under her cotton T. She sucked in a breath, encouraging him. Her mouth could say anything she wanted, but her body told him the truth.
“Ian,” she gasped, grabbing fistfuls of his hair. “Don’t tease me, Ian. I can’t bear it.”
Ian growled low in his throat. A second later her T-shirt was being lifted over her head and he was kissing his way down to the swell of her breasts. His hands cupped her, his thumbs rasped almost lazily across the nipples, so hard beneath the silken bra she wore.
His hands moved lower as he took one breast into his mouth, suckling her through the material, biting back a curse when he felt her ribs clearly beneath the skin.
“Ian...“ she warned breathlessly. He pulled away just enough to look into her eyes, now half-dazed with hunger. The need he saw there speared through him, nearly knocking him on his ass. For the first time in a long time, he allowed himself to see what was there, and it humbled him greatly.
“I don’t deserve you,” he murmured, wrapping his arms around her waist and lifting her. She was like nothing in his arms; too light, too thin. How could he not have seen what he was doing to her? He’d thought he could keep her safe by keeping his distance, but the reality of the situation finally hit home. Lexi needed him. She fucking needed him, and he would never let her down again.
He laid her carefully on the bed, slipping off her shoes. Next came her jeans, and it was all he could do not to cry out in anguish when he saw the bones protruding from her hips. She was still beautiful, always would be to him, but he missed the full, hot flesh of her curves.
“Twenty pounds,” he whispered, placing hot, stinging little kisses across her sunken abdomen as he removed her thong. “I want you to gain at least twenty pounds. And for each one I’m going to do this...”
Lexi’s back arched, as Ian pressed himself between her legs, kissing the inside of her thighs. His hot breath blew over her sex and she trembled. It fed his hunger, made his eyes glitter with need. “Christ,” he whispered, awed by her reaction. He’d never been so needed, so wanted, by anyone. He must have been a complete idiot to believe she would be better off without him.
He placed tiny, light kisses along her sex as his hands pressed her legs open wider. A long, languorous lick of his tongue had him groaning again. There was nothing like his Lexi. He buried his face, nose to chin in her sweet, slick folds. He felt her heels against his shoulder blades, her legs slung over his shoulders as she surrendered herself to him. He would reward her greatly for that, for this chance to love her again. To feel her fingers in his hair again, scraping against his scalp. Ah, it was heaven.
The muscles in his back flexed as he took her with his mouth, rimming her entrance with his tongue before dipping into her. She cried out softly, tugging on his hair, pushing him into her with her legs. She was close, on the edge, and he wanted her falling off, right into him.
Ian began a steady, methodical pattern that had her writhing beneath him. A few short, quick suckles against her sensitive nub. Long, full strokes along her lips. Teasing circles around her entrance, then dips of his tongue deep to stroke the sensitive inner flesh until she held her breath, all the while his hands stroking over her belly, her breasts, her hips. Then, just as she was about to come, he’d begin all over again.
“Ian, oh God, Ian,” she sobbed, raking his scalp with her nails. They were too short. He wanted them longer. He wanted her talons gripping him hard enough to draw blood.
“What do you want, baby?” he asked in between licks.
“Please, Ian. I need to come. Make me come, Ian.”
“Say you love me, Lex.”
“I love you. I love you so much,” she sobbed.
“I love you too, baby. Say you’ll stay with me.”
Lexi hesitated, her fingers stilled. Ian flicked his tongue over her a few more times, holding her hips in place.
“Say it, Lexi,” h
e coaxed, blowing softly on her, making her shudder. His heart beat faster, stronger, needing to hear her say the words. “Say it and I’ll let you come, baby. Promise me.”
Lexi wriggled beneath him, but he wouldn’t allow her to move an inch. “You’ll stop...”
“No, I promise you, I’ll never stop. As long as you stay, I’ll never stop again. I swear it.” Ian dipped his tongue into her again, swirling, filling his senses with his woman.
“I’ll stay.” She breathed the words so quietly he wasn’t sure he actually heard them. He lifted his head enough to look up across the span of her body, caressing her with his chin. “What was that?”
“I’ll stay,” she said, stronger this time. “But only if you let me love you, too.”
Ian grinned in triumph. “That’s my good girl,” he crooned, before submerging himself within her with renewed fervor. Lexi was several inches off the surface of the bed when he finally took her over the edge. He held onto her as she seized beneath him, crying out his name in tortured whispers.
When the tremors began to fade, Ian crawled up along her body and held her to him. Only then did he realize she was crying. A few moments of intense fear gripped him – had he hurt her again? But then her arms wrapped around him so tightly, and she pressed her body close to his, and he knew the truth. These were tears of joy, of relief. Because he had finally come home.
“Sshhh, baby, it’s okay,” he told her as she gripped him. He felt the tension returning to her body, felt the desperate hold she had on him. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what she was thinking, and he hated the fact that he had put so much fear, so much uncertainty into her heart. He kissed the top of her head, making a silent promise to spend the rest of his life rectifying that.
“You’re not leaving?” she asked, her voice shaky.
“No.” His gut twisted as she burrowed into him a little more, knowing she was trying to decide whether or not to trust him. Her fingers had a death grip on his shirt.
“Lexi,” he said, his voice low and resonant. He felt her body tense all over again as she held her breath, waiting. “Lexi, touch me, baby, before I die from the want of it.”
Slowly, her fingers uncurled from his shirt, enough to slip beneath the hem. His stomach curled in as he felt her hands on his bare skin. His arm tightened around her as she ran along the ridges of solid muscle there, skimming teasingly along the waistband of his jeans. Her touch was more tentative than it had once been, as if afraid he would run away if she made one false move.
“Ah, baby, I love when you have your hands on me,” he said encouragingly, hoping to feel the bold heat which with she once touched him; her fearless, hungry exploration of his body. With a heart beating so hard and fast he could feel it against his ribs, she moved her palm over his abs, along his ribs, across his pecs, re-learning the feel of him. He forced himself to be patient, to control the urge to flip her onto her back and take her till she was screaming his name again.
* * *
Lexi closed her eyes and moved her fingers over his heated flesh, tracing the contours of the steel beneath the skin. Just the feel of him against her filled her with a peace she had not known for far too long. His strength and power seeped into her, making her feel alive again. The dark, masculine scent that was pure Ian filled her lungs, sending delicious tingles through her entire body.
Feeling emboldened, Lexi began moving her hands downward, keeping her movements slow, giving him the chance to stop her. He didn’t. His hands moved restlessly over her back and arms; she could feel him flexing his fingers with the effort to hold back.
Lexi stroked him through his jeans, running the length of his shaft from the tip of his waistband all the way down between his legs. He gave a low growl, a purely masculine sound that had juices flowing from her once again in preparation for what she wanted.
“More, Lexi,” he pleaded. “More.”
Her fingers were trembling so badly he reached down with his free hand and helped her, undoing the clasp himself. She was able to pull down the zipper, immediately cupping him through his boxer briefs. He sucked in a breath and cursed. Seconds later he was shucking the remainder of his clothing completely.
Lexi could not turn away from him. Her Ian was magnificent. Incredibly hard and thick, his cock strained toward her. She encircled as much as she could with her hand, stroking it lovingly, feeling him jerk beneath her. Ian was her man. The only man she had ever touched in this way, the only man she ever wanted to. And he always would be, no matter what, at least in her mind. There was only Ian.
Her first. Her only.
Lexi knew exactly what she wanted to do, but memories of consequences incurred the last time she followed her natural urges kept her from doing so. God, she loved him. Wanted to taste him so badly her mouth watered with the thought of it. Still, she was hesitant. What if he pushed her away again? No matter how much she wanted him, she couldn’t risk losing this closeness he was offering her without being sure.
Lexi lifted her head up enough to look into his face. “Can I?” she asked.
“Yes,” he answered, his voice strained even as his eyes begged her. “Please, Lexi. It’s okay, I swear it.”
She slid down his body, again slowly, giving him the chance to change his mind. He didn’t. Instead, he lifted his head up enough to watch. Lexi’s lips parted, hovering just above him. She looked questioningly into his eyes once more, praying he wouldn’t refuse her.
“Yes, Lexi. Suck me, baby. I’m begging you. Please. I need you to love me with that sweet, sweet mouth of yours.”
Her eyes half-closed slowly as she gave herself over to the hunger raging for control. Lexi held him in her hand, pressing soft, wet kisses along his shaft until he fought to breathe. Then she began to lick him, base to tip, swirling around his balls, then starting all over again. Ian’s hands fisted in the bedding with her exquisite torture. When she finally took him in her mouth, his hips bucked, but he made no move to stop her.
His body tensed as he grew closer to his peak. Lexi felt it coming, too. She doubled her efforts, sucking harder, stroking faster, squeezing him with gentle, agonizing pressure.
“Baby,” Ian whispered, pulling her on top of him and holding her like a precious treasure. “I need to be inside you,” he whispered. “Straddle me, Lexi. Take me inside you.”
She needed him, too. So badly. Before he changed his mind, she allowed him to guide her onto him slowly, holding her hips to keep her from moving too quickly. The hiss he let out as she came down around him was music to her ears.
“Yes, Lexi. Jesus. Ride me, baby.”
Lexi placed her palms on his chest and began to move. She rocked her hips forward and backward, lifting up and then impaling herself again. It only took a few strokes for her to begin to lose herself.
Lexi tossed her head back. Ian was inside her. Ian was inside her. Nothing had ever felt better, more right. She was so tired of worrying about what was going to happen next. Right now, at this moment, she had her man inside her, and all was right with her world.
When she came, she came hard. Ian held her in place and pumped into her from below, one, two three thrusts before lifting her up and pulling out. She collapsed on his chest, feeling the hot jets of his release shooting across her behind, up onto her back. It was one of the most erotic things she’d ever felt, but it was disappointing, too.
“You pulled out,” she said quietly, after their heartbeats had begun to return to normal.
“Yeah.”
Her finger traced little circles against his chest as she lay tucked beneath his shoulder, her body half covering his.
“I didn’t want to,” he said.
“I know.” And she did know. Just as she knew exactly why he had done it. Because another pregnancy right now would probably kill her.
Ian’s hand moved slowly up and down her back. As if sensing her thoughts, he said, “I want more kids with you, Lex.”
“You do?”
“Hell, yes. But
if it’s not right for us, then I’m okay with that, too. As long as I have you and Patrick, I don’t need anything else.”
Long moments of silence passed between them. Michael had told her that if the new treatments were successful, there was no reason she couldn’t live a fairly normal life, including having more children – something she had been terrified she would not be able to do.
It wouldn’t be easy; she would have to be extra-careful, even more cautious than usual, but it would be worth it. And she definitely would like Patrick to have a little brother or sister someday. Maybe several. But in order to make that happen, she had to do a lot better than she had been.
“I love you, Ian.”
“I love you, too, Lexi.”
Chapter Thirty
“Lexi, baby, time to wake up.” Ian’s big body was curled around hers. She hadn’t slept much. She’d drifted in and out of slumber, half-expecting Ian to be gone if she allowed herself to fall asleep too deeply. It was exceptionally difficult. Wrapped in his strong arms, suffused with his warmth, her body melted against him, feeling safe and secure.
Her mind, on the other hand, refused to relax. If he left again, she wanted to know right away instead of thinking everything was okay when it wasn’t. But Ian hadn’t left. He’d stayed right there beside her throughout the night. And when she reached out to him in the darkness, he didn’t turn away. After getting up to check on Patrick – something she still did several times a night – he’d been waiting for her, pulling her into him as if she’d never left.
One eye peeked open, expecting to see sunlight. The bedroom, however, was still dark. The glowing numbers on the nightstand clock read four a.m.
First and Only: Callaghan Brothers, Book 2 Page 25
