A Reason to Leave

by Melissa Ellen

  “I figure I will just wear my black combat boots.”

  My nose instinctively scrunched up. “Um. No. We are getting you some stilettos.”

  “Hell. No. There is no way I can walk all night in heels, Val. I will break my neck.”

  “It’s my birthday. I want you in heels.”

  “I think you’ve been hanging out with your brother too much, lately. His absurd, demanding personality is rubbing off on you.”

  “Ha, ha,” I fake laughed. “You’re a comedian. Now quit being such a baby and go change. There is a cute shoe boutique just up the road.”

  She let out an exaggerated sigh, before moving back into the dressing room to change. After I paid for our dresses, we wrapped up our shopping for the day with the purchase of some stilettos to match.

  That evening we planned to slip on our yoga pants, order some Chinese and catch up on some of our favorite Netflix original series. Lexie popped open a bottle of wine that we had in the cabinet and poured us both a glass. My phone dinged with a new text message. I pulled it out of my purse before we took our dedicated places on each end of the couch, relaxing into the evening.

  I quickly typed out my response and then turned my phone to silent, laying it on the coffee table.

  “Who was that?” Lexie asked.

  “My brother. Checking on his precious car and insisting we have Jim be our driver tomorrow night,” I said, not hiding my annoyance.

  “It wouldn’t be a bad idea, you know. I doubt any of us will be sober enough to drive.”

  “Good thing there is Uber. I’m not letting my brother’s paid spies keep an eye on me all night.”

  She shrugged, unconcerned about either scenario.

  “Speaking of…we will need to pick up some liquor tomorrow. What do you want?” Lexie asked as I navigated through the Netflix menu.

  Luckily for me, Lexie was a year older than me and had been supplying our apartment with a steady stash of beverages for whenever the mood strikes us. I wasn’t a heavy drinker, but it was nice to have it available to take the edge off a stressful day, like today. Lexie on the other hand, partied a lot harder than me. Besides work, she had all the free time in the world to hit up bars and clubs with Jake and his crew of misfits.

  “I have no idea. You know I’m an easy drunk. I’m not sure I want to be trashed before we make it to the bar.”

  “Shots of Patron it is,” she teased.

  I playfully nudged her thigh with my foot from across the couch.

  “It’s not a twenty-first birthday, Val, if you aren’t praying to the porcelain Gods by the end of the night.”

  “I’m not sure I agree with that. Nor does that sound appealing to me. At all.”

  “Suit yourself. You’re probably right, anyways. Tequila makes you a mean drunk. Should I just get you some wine coolers?” she teased.

  “Yuck, no. And it does not.”

  She laughed, “Yes it does. Do you not remember the last time you had it?” She cocked her eyebrow at me.

  Obviously, I didn’t. It was one of the few times I had been so drunk, I blacked out. I swore to myself I would never get that drunk again. And I hadn’t.

  “You know I don’t,” I rolled my eyes. “How about stuff to make dirty martinis?”

  “Works for me. I can stop and get everything tomorrow after work.”

  “You’re the best. Now be quiet the show is starting,” I hushed her jokingly.

  We both turned our attention to the large, flat-screen TV and spent the rest of the night finishing off the bottle of wine, stuffing ourselves with chicken fried rice and laughing and sobbing at all our favorite shows, until we both passed out on the couch.

  I awoke in the middle of the night hot and bothered by dreams of a sexy, tattooed, moody man who had been the star of my wild, wanton dreams. I sat up on the couch, glancing over at still passed out Lexie. I debated on whether to wake her. Deciding against it, I covered her up with a blanket and then went to my bedroom.

  I tossed and turned the rest of the night unable to get Liam and his abs out of my head. I also couldn’t get out of my head the contradicting emotions I had for him, and he obviously had for me. It was like both of our bodies were gravitating towards each other, but our minds were telling us to do the opposite.

  I had never felt that pull before, at least not that intense. I could only imagine what it would feel like to have him touch me and his lips all over me. No. Cut it out, Val. This is why you can’t sleep. I needed to stop imagining those things if I was ever going to sleep again.

  I rolled to my side, “fluffing” my pillow with punches of my fist, letting out my frustrations. I plopped my head back down and tried to think about less sexy thoughts. Like kittens. Or puppies. Or crying babies. That right there would put an end to thoughts of sex. Sex led to babies. I did not want a baby. At least, not anytime soon. Unless it had a cute, single dimple on its right cheek like Liam. Damn it! Puppies. Puppies. Kittens.

  CHAPTER 3

  Saturday went by quickly. Mostly because I slept through the morning after my sleepless night. By the time I pulled myself out of bed, Lexie was already long gone for her early morning shift at work. After making myself some coffee and eating a late breakfast, I checked my phone for missed messages.

  Most were text messages from my family, reminding me once again about dinner tomorrow night for my actual birthday. There were a few selfie texts of Lexie and Ethan goofing off at the coffee shop and telling me to start getting pumped up for tonight.

  I also had a missed call and voicemail from the body shop where my car was being repaired. It was finally ready. Though they were only open until three today. I looked at the clock and it was half past noon. There was no way I would be able to pick up Ava from Malibu and make it back in time to get my car. I would have to see if she could do it on her Monday lunch break, since the body shop was closed on Sunday.

  I looked at a missed text from Caleb, one of Jake’s friends who I had regretfully hooked up with a few times. Usually the hook ups resulted after a night of drinking when I had zero inhibitions. He could be charming - at least in my hazed mind - and had a sexy smile that usually had me stripping without a second thought. He was a nice enough guy and super cute with his brown spiked hair, green eyes and lean build, but not someone I ever saw myself in a relationship with.

  I stared at his message, contemplating whether to ignore it or respond to it. I groaned as I reread it.

  C: Can’t wait to see you tonight.

  Until now, I hadn’t thought about the fact that he would be hanging out with us tonight. If history told me anything, it would be that we would end up naked and in his bed if I planned to get inebriated tonight. And I did plan to get inebriated. But he was not who I wanted to end up naked with. Who did I want to end up naked with? Thoughts of Liam instantly came to my head. Shit. Not Liam. And not Caleb.

  I decided the best thing to do was ignore the text. I needed to stop the stupidity cycle that was Caleb and me. Every time I gave into him, I just gave him false hope and myself twenty-four hours of self-loathing. I responded to my family and Lexie. Then sent a quick text to Ava about Monday before jumping in the shower.

  By the time we got to The Republic, I was feeling good from the pre-drinks at our apartment. When Lexie had arrived home from work, her arms were overflowing with more alcohol than we discussed. Ethan, Jake and his motley crew had shown up early to drink with us. Before I knew it, I was being pressured and cheered on to take buttery nipple shots that Lexie attempted to make but tasted nothing like a buttery nipple.

  Lexie and I held onto each other as we walked through the dark parking lot towards the entrance of The Republic. I was needing her support since I was already feeling slightly intoxicated, and she was needing my support to walk in the heels I forced her to wear. The guys followed behind us, allowing us to enter the venue first.

  The closer we got, the louder the muffled music of the band became as it filtered through the closed door. A big
, stoic bouncer stood blocking the entrance. His eyes swept over us as we neared. With it being a twenty-one and up only establishment, I was nervous for the first time that he may not let me in once he saw my ID. After his outward inspection of us, he glanced over to Jake and gave him a nod. This was obviously Jake’s friend.

  “ID’s ladies.”

  We both pulled out our driver’s licenses, handing them to him. He barely glanced at them before giving them back to us.

  “Happy birthday,” he gave me a small smile as he moved aside to let us pass.

  “Thanks,” I said grinning back at him. Lexie pulled me through the entrance, leaving Jake to pay for our cover charge.

  “Let’s get a drink!” Lexie yelled over her shoulder as she began to pull me further into the bar, but my stiff legs impeded her progression.

  I was glued in place as the music of the band hit my ears. My eyes were transfixed on the stage. It wasn’t the beat of the music itself that had my attention but the voice that accompanied it. That gravelly, sultry voice that was seeping into every inch of my being was one I recognized. One that had been haunting my dreams. One that induced the fluttering in my stomach.

  In spite of the dark, smoky room of flashing lights, I could see him clearly. Liam stood center stage, his hands wrapped around the mic, his guitar hanging from the side of his masculine body while his silky voice had all the girl’s screaming his name in front of him. He wore a tight black t-shirt and faded, worn jeans with black boots. Simple and sexy.

  His steamy, gray eyes were currently concealed as he held them tightly shut - lost in the chorus he was singing. When his eyes finally opened, he grinned a roguish smile at the women in front of him before looking up to scan the crowd. His eyes instantly zeroed in on me, and though his words didn’t falter, his smile faded. I’m sure nobody noticed the sudden change in his expression. But I did. His eyes stayed locked with mine as he continued to sing.

  He was enigmatic. Drawing me to him like a fly to a bug zapper. I felt my body trying to propel me forward from the darkness to the bright lights of the stage when Lexie broke my trance before I was zapped.

  “Hot, right?”

  “What?” I said looking over at her.

  “Derailed,” she nodded toward the stage, “the band.”

  “Oh. Yeah.” I looked back at Liam who was still staring at me with an intensity that was making me heated and anxious. “Let’s get that drink,” I said, tearing my eyes from him and pushing my way to the bar. Lexie followed behind me.

  I waited impatiently for the bartender to make my drink, forcing myself not to look at the stage and forget that Liam was here. It was impossible. Whether I looked at him or not, his voice surrounded me, filling me with nervous energy.

  “What’s your deal?” Lexie asked, sidling up to me.

  “What do you mean?”

  “You’re acting weird. Since the moment we walked in here. They won’t card you again.”

  “I know. I’m good,” I said not bothering to correct her mistaken assumption.

  She looked at my hand in my hair. Shit. I quickly dropped it to my side. Before she could press me further, Jake came up behind us, interrupting her interrogation. Thank God. I had no idea what I would even tell her. I wasn’t sure why I felt so out of control when it came to Liam. Or his voice. It was driving me insane. I wasn’t sure I would make it through the next few hours without losing my mind.

  “Joe reserved a table for us close to the stage, off to the side, near the front. The others are already over there,” Jake hollered over the loud music. I assumed Joe was the big guy at the door. Great. Could this night get any worse? I did not need a direct view of Liam nor to be in that close of proximity to him. “You ladies head over there. I’ll get your drinks,” he smiled at Lexie.

  “Thanks, babe,” she said, wrapping her arms around his neck before devouring his mouth with her tongue.

  I started to turn and leave them to it when I felt a hand squeeze my ass. I whipped around to see who the jerk taking liberties was and give him a piece of my mind, when I was silenced by Caleb’s lips, sloppily smashed against my own. Yep. It could definitely get worse. I pushed my hands between us, removing his body and lips from me.

  “Hey, sweetness,” he slurred as his hand failed to lightly caress my hair. He was petting me like a damn cat.

  I swatted his hand aside. He was already drunk, which meant he was getting handsy. I had been able to keep my distance from him earlier in the night, but now that we both had been drinking, it would be a lot harder. Fortunately, I was feeling a lot more sober after hearing and seeing Liam.

  I glanced back at the stage, finding Liam’s dark gaze strangely still on me. Why was he watching me? I turned away from Liam, ignored Caleb and grabbed a horny Lexie, pulling her with me to the table where the rest of our party sat.

  I moved into the chair next to Ethan and pulled Lexie onto the seat beside me. That would hopefully keep Caleb at bay. The only other available seats were across from me. The band had moved onto the next song, and as the intro began booming through the sound system, I heard the screeching cries of the women in the bar hit a higher octave that had my ears ringing.

  Curious, I shifted my eyes I had been diverting from the stage to look at what could possibly have them squealing louder than they already had been. It was in that moment I finally understood the saying “curiosity killed the cat.” I was that cat. And I was pretty sure I was going to die.

  Liam had removed his shirt, revealing his muscular, tattooed, upper body to every drunk and horny female in the room, including myself. He glanced towards me with his evil smirk and winked as he gripped his guitar in his hands. His fingers plucked the strings, joining in with the other band members. I was pretty sure my body exploded with that wink. I shifted in my seat, crossing my legs, trying to control the heat that had erupted between them.

  Jake and Caleb had chosen that moment to join us at the table with numerous shot glasses and the martinis Lexie and I had ordered. I never thought I would be as relieved to see either one of those two guys as I was right then.

  “We come baring gifts for the birthday girl,” Jake said, handing us our martinis and each a shot. I didn’t even bother waiting for a toast. I threw the shot down my throat, swiped Lexie’s from her hand and proceeded to chase the first shot with hers before she could protest. I followed both by chugging my own martini.

  I ignored the burning sensation as I forced the liquor down. I slammed the glass on the table and tried my best to keep the liquor from instantly coming back up as chills coursed up my body. It was inevitable. I was going to be sick tonight.

  “Shit, Val!” Lexie stared at me in shock. “What the hell has gotten into you?”

  One word. Liam.

  “It’s my birthday, right? Plus, I was thirsty. It’s super-hot in here,” I said, trying to conceal my lingering eyes that kept moving on their own accord to gawk at the half naked sex god on stage.

  “Uh, huh.” Lexie wasn’t buying my explanation. “Or maybe, you’re just hot for the lead singer of Derailed.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I hardly noticed him,” I said, catching my finger as it started to travel towards a strand of my hair. Damn it. I needed to get control of that finger and my body in general.

  I let my eyes browse the bar, looking anywhere but at Liam or Lexie’s interrogating gaze. The place was overly packed, making it tough to move through the tiny industrial space. The floors were concrete and the walls were cinder blocks of painted graffiti. The structure of the building was left exposed and painted black. Track lights of various colors hung from the rafters, lighting up the stage as the band played.

  There was only one bar towards the front corner opposite of the entry. I had no idea how the bartenders were able to keep up with this size of crowd. There were very few tables and chairs, so I was glad Joe had reserved one for our late arrival. The restrooms were past the stage, down a narrow hall that led to a rear emergenc
y exit.

  I decided that would be the best place for me to gather my composure. I excused myself from the table to head to the restroom.

  “Do you want me to come with you?”

  “No. I’ll be right back,” I assured Lexie. I didn’t usually wander off by myself in places like this, but I needed a minute alone without her questions.

  I slid off my stool, smoothed my dress down and maneuvered through the crowd towards the long line of women waiting for the bathroom. I didn’t actually need a toilet, so I bypassed the line and entered the restroom to freshen up.

  I remained in the ladies’ room through the end of the song, until I heard the music change to a pre-recorded hip-hop song versus a live band. I hoped that meant Derailed was finished with their performance for the night. I took one last deep inhale. Exhaling slowly, I gripped the door handle and swung the door open to exit.

  The dance floor was still crowded with gyrating bodies, but the stage had been abandoned by the band members and only their equipment and instruments remained. I felt relief and regret at the same time. I walked up to my table of friends and plastered on a smile.

  “Better?” Lexie asked as I approached.

  “Better,” I confirmed.

  “Good,” she said, handing me another shot.

  I took it from her without a thought and clinked it with the other shot glass in her hand. I tipped it to my lips, letting the cool, sweet liquid coat my throat. These were the shots I liked. The ones you thought were nothing but shots of juice. They were dangerous and delicious, a lot like Liam.

  As soon as I set my glass back on the table, she grabbed my hand, pulling me onto the dance floor. I relaxed into the music, laughing and dancing with Lexie as I swayed my hips to the beat. It was the first time I started to enjoy myself since walking into the bar. It helped that visions of Liam and his voice were no longer overpowering my body.

  The liquor started to work its magic of relaxing my muscles and easing any thoughts I had in my mind. I felt light and airy. I closed my eyes, holding my arms above my head as I spun seductively in a circle, allowing the alcohol and music to take over.