A Reason to Leave

by Melissa Ellen

  My eyes lit up as I reached for my black leather pencil skirt. It fit my body like a glove, hitting just below my knees with a slit up the back. I decided to soften the edginess of the skirt with a sheer, blush, spaghetti-strapped blouse that had a low cut neckline.

  I laid each piece on my bed and admired my selections. They accomplished the tough feminism I was going for. I set my black, strappy stilettos next to the ensemble and then left my room in search of the delicious smells that had been beckoning me.

  Lexie had a breakfast buffet sprawled out across the island. There was enough food to feed a party of twenty instead of two.

  “Happy Birthday, lady,” she beamed as I walked into the kitchen.

  “Lex, this is ridiculous. There is no way we are eating all this.”

  She just smiled and shrugged unperturbed.

  “I wanted to make sure you had all your favorites.” She handed me a mimosa as I took a seat on one of the bar stools at the island.

  “Ugh. Not sure I can do more alcohol right now.” I eyed the spiked glass of orange juice.

  “Hair of the dog. Drink it. It’ll make you feel better.”

  I took a sip, even if I didn’t believe the old saying. She made me a plate full of food that I knew I would barely touch. My stomach was still uneasy. I pulled my foot up on the stool, bending my knee against my chest while taking a bite from a strip of crispy bacon.

  “Coffee?” she asked.

  “Please.” She handed me a cup already prepared how I liked it. “You’re the best,” I grinned.

  “I know.”

  I rolled my eyes at her, “What time did Jake leave?”

  “About five minutes before I woke your lazy ass up.”

  “Are you guys doing anything tonight?”

  “Jake and his buddies are playing pool tonight. He invited us to join. Will you be with your family all night?”

  “Not likely. We will probably just have dinner. I’ll text you when we are done.”

  She nodded, taking a seat next to me to eat. We laughed about the previous night’s events as she reminded me about some of my less than stellar moments. Once we finished eating our late brunch, Lexie went to take a nap. I leisurely pampered myself to get ready for dinner.

  After painting my nails, drying and putting my hair in rollers, I grabbed my phone, sitting on my bed. I had a few “Happy Birthday” texts from friends and family, including Caleb. Ugh. Caleb. I needed to set things straight between us. I thanked them all and then set my phone on the bedside table.

  I strummed my fingers on the comforter, debating how to kill some time while I waited for my curls to set. In the past, I would have cured my boredom with Facebook, Instagram or Twitter. But now, I avoided all the social networks. They had all been tainted for me. These days I adopted the motto that ignorance was bliss when it came to the hurtful things people might do or say in those platforms.

  I picked up my laptop, having the urge to google a certain popular new band. My fingers hesitated over the keyboard. Was I really doing this? Was I really going to google him? Ugh. Yes. I was. Besides…I wasn’t googling him. I was googling the band. Big difference. Outside of the cocky jerk of a lead singer, the band was good. That is why I wanted to google them. Not because of him. I tried to lie to myself. I typed out “Derailed” and hit enter before I changed my mind.

  I clicked on the band’s main page that came up at the top of the search. I scrolled down the landing page where it showed a picture of each band member, what they played and very minimal information about their personal life. I had to admit they were all pretty attractive.

  It turned out Liam’s last name was Stone and he was twenty-six. Not that I cared. At all. He was pictured in his signature black t-shirt, unsmiling, looking tough and mysterious with his intense grey eyes. I lingered on his photo for only a second - at most thirty-nine seconds - before clicking on the tab that displayed their event schedule.

  I mentally made note of the locations they played, dates and times. Only so I could avoid those locations at those times. Not that I frequented any of those dive bars often, but one could never be too cautious.

  I moved onto the photos tab in the webpage menu. Most of the pictures were of the band playing at various venues. There were also a few of them off stage at what looked like after parties. The band members were all pictured with random women slinked around them. Including Liam. My stomach started to churn, again.

  I slammed the laptop shut and set it aside on the bed. I laid my head back against my headboard and closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. What did I expect to see? I already knew Liam wasn’t one to remain celibate. I had seen it with my own two eyes. What did it matter anyways? It’s not like I planned to date him. He was a self-proclaimed bad guy. A player. Nobody I needed to be getting involved with.

  I pushed all thoughts of Liam and his sexual activities deep down into the black hole of my brain and got up from the bed. I needed to finish getting ready and head out to meet my family for dinner.

  “Happy birthday, Val,” Rhett toasted while my family raised their glasses in celebration of my birthday.

  “Thanks,” I said before sipping my martini. “I guess that means you have to start accepting me as an adult now,” I goaded him.

  “Don’t push it. You will always be my little sister, no matter how old you get.”

  I rolled my eyes playfully. As difficult as my older brother could be, I knew he would always have my back and do anything for me.

  “Val, how are things going with your acting?” my Mom asked, genuinely curious.

  “Oh! That’s right. I forgot to ask you. How did your audition go the other day?” Ava added.

  My mom and Ava where the only ones in full support of my acting career. My father and brother both still thought I would do best to set my goals on a more stable and obtainable career. I hadn’t mentioned to anyone that I lost my agent, and I wasn’t telling them now. I didn’t want to give Rhett and my father any ammunition. Plus, I just needed a few weeks to find another agent.

  “It’s good. The audition went great,” I lied, catching my finger as it started to tangle around my hair.

  Rhett eyed me suspiciously.

  “Ava, how are you feeling? Has my nephew stopped kicking you at night?” I quickly changed the subject, needing the spotlight off of me for the moment.

  “No. He is as frustrating as his father,” she teased Rhett. He playfully squeezed her side before kissing her on the head.

  “Well, here is hoping he doesn’t get all of his father’s traits,” I joined in tormenting him. We both giggled.

  Rhett shook his head at us before my Dad spoke, seeming even less amused, distracting Rhett with talks of business. Even though my father had been retired for years, he still tried to keep up on the latest investments of Blackwood Industries, much to my mother’s dismay.

  We spent the rest of dinner catching up on my parent’s travels and eating sushi. My dinner of choice. After my one birthday martini and finishing off the last of the sushi, I thanked my family for the dinner. It had been a few months since we were all together and dinner with them had lifted my spirits. Something I had apparently needed.

  We hugged our good-byes before going our separate ways. My parents were heading home with Rhett and Ava, and I had already called an Uber to meet up with Lexie. Knowing that my family would never allow me to drive if I had a drink at dinner, I planned ahead not bothering to drive to the restaurant.

  “Are you sure you don’t want us to just drop you off?” Ava offered.

  Nope. Definitely not. I would be held hostage in the car if Rhett or my father saw where I was headed.

  “No, but thank you. It is too far out of your way.”

  “It’s not a problem, Val. We prefer to know your safe,” Rhett interjected.

  “I’m good. Really. Stop worrying so much, Rhett.”

  I knew my assurance was useless. My brother would always worry about the women in his life. It was a good thing
he was having a son and not a daughter. The poor girl wouldn’t be able to date until she was forty. Luckily for me, the Uber pulled up just in time, giving me my escape.

  “Text us when you make it safe,” my Mom kissed and hugged me one more time.

  “I will. Love you,” I said, hugging her back before climbing in the car. “Thanks again for dinner!” I waved at my family as the car pulled away.

  I texted Lexie to let her know I was on my way. By the time I was able to meet up with them, Lexie, Jake and his friends had already been out for a couple hours. She had mentioned it was a low-key bar. Knowing my outfit would likely draw attention in a bar where most of the women probably wore holey jeans and rocker tees, I contemplated going home to change. In the end, I decided against it, not wanting to waste time. At least I had on a leather skirt in lieu of a flowery sundress.

  I touched my make-up in the back seat of the car while making small talk with the driver. Lexie always teased me about trying to get to know my Uber drivers. I was genuinely curious about them, though. I always wondered about their lives and what made them want to drive strangers around town.

  As we pulled up to the tiny dive bar that looked like it could barely house twenty people in it, I thanked my driver, and he wished me a happy birthday. My phone vibrated with a new text. I pulled it out of my clutch. It was a text from Lexie.

  L: Change of plans. How about we have a girl’s night? I will meet you somewhere.

  V: I’m already here.

  L: Shit…don’t be mad at me. I didn’t know.

  Confused by her statement, I dropped my phone back into my purse and opened the door to enter the bar. The sounds of a cranked up jukebox overwhelmed my ears as I stepped inside. I should’ve taken what hearing the lyrical voice of Miranda Lambert singing Somethin’ bad is about to happen for what it was. An omen.

  CHAPTER 5

  It was only a matter of seconds of me standing at the entrance to know exactly what my best friend was freaking out about. Somehow this little bar with its one pool table felt smaller than it already was. It was like I was suffering the Alice in Wonderland syndrome. The walls were closing in on me, and I could barely breathe.

  Liam and his buddies from the band stood casually talking and joking with Jake and his friends around the pool table. It was the first time I had seen Liam look so relaxed and genuinely having a good time. It was short lived. Liam glanced up at me and that carefree smile disappeared. Every organ in my body faltered as his eyes perused me from head to toe. Lexie was on me instantly, blocking my view before I could even form a coherent thought or comprehend my emotions.

  “Val, I’m sorry.”

  “What is he doing here?”

  “I had no idea they would be here. They weren’t supposed to be. They just showed up a few minutes ago with Joe.”

  I looked at my friend and could see the concern and remorse in her eyes. She was telling the truth.

  “Do you want to leave?” she asked.

  I shook my head no. I wasn’t letting Liam run me off. If I did, it just meant admitting how much he affected me.

  “It’s fine, Lex. I don’t care.”

  She looked at me with doubt written all over her face.

  “Really. Come on,” I reiterated, standing up tall, throwing my shoulders back as I linked my arm with hers to lead her to the bar. I was going to need a drink.

  Considering it was a Sunday night, the bar was unsurprisingly empty. The interior was dark and grungy and smelled like a mixture of mildew and smoke. Definitely not somewhere I would have willfully gone on my own. But with the cheap drink prices and the small crowd, I could see why Jake and his friends would choose this place.

  We walked up to the old bartender with gray hair and a scraggly beard, who looked like he was barely making it from one day to the next.

  “What can I get you ladies?” he asked without even so much as a smile.

  “Dirty Grey Goose Martini. Extra dirty, please,” I asked with a smile.

  He lowered his chin to his chest as he eyed me with annoyance, “I have Tito’s. And I can serve it to you in an unwashed glass. Will that be dirty enough for you?”

  Lexie snickered next to me.

  “Uh…I’ll pass. Do you have any top shelf liquors?”

  “Depends what you mean by top shelf. If you’re askin’ if I have them sittin’ on the shelf up top, then the answer is no.”

  Good. Lord. What kind of bar was this?

  “What do you have then?”

  “I have beer.”

  “Great. Give me one of those. Your choice.”

  I was not going to place any bets of him having a beer I actually liked. He nodded and walked towards the cooler of beer bottles.

  I slowly and inconspicuously glanced over my shoulder towards the pool table as Lexie and I waited for our drinks. Liam seemed to have regained his relaxed demeanor. He was laughing at his buddy when he gave me a side glance. I turned my head back towards the bartender, not wanting to hold his gaze.

  “Do you want to stay at the bar or go over there?” Lexie asked as the bartender handed us our beers.

  “As pleasant and delightful as this old man is, I’m not going to hide out over here, Lex. Stop making such a big deal out of this. I’m over it. Last night is ancient history. He’s not as attractive when I’m sober,” I forced a teasing grin. Lies. All lies. But this time I managed to keep my fingers gripped tightly around my glass bottle.

  “Okay, then. Let’s go, lady.” She grabbed my hand, pulling me behind her as we walked towards the pool table. I scanned the group of guys and noticed, thankfully, Caleb was not here tonight. I just hoped he wasn’t going to show up at any moment, making this evening that much worse.

  “Where’s Caleb?”

  “I think he’s still recovering. Why? Were you hoping to see him?” she smiled wickedly.

  “No!” I laughed. “Not at all.”

  As we approached the group, Lexie began to introduce me to Liam’s friends, skipping over Liam, knowing there was no need for an awkward introduction. I recognized each band member from my google search before she told me their names. I smiled at each of them as I shook their hands.

  Derailed was made up of four members. There was Blaine, the drummer, Trent the bass player, Dax the lead guitarist and of course, Liam, the lead singer and back-up guitarist.

  “I hear it’s your birthday,” Dax said to me with a flirty smile after all the introductions had finished. Most of the group had reconvened with playing their game of pool or picking back up with their conversations before I had arrived. Dax stayed close to my side, smiling at me with a glint in his eyes.

  I smiled seductively back. He was cute. It was instinctual. “It is,” I confirmed.

  “Can I buy you a birthday shot?”

  I laughed, “No. I think I’ve had enough shots for a while after last night. Plus, I don’t think gramps over there is big on making shots. How about you just buy my next round?”

  “Deal, sweetheart,” he winked, causing a wider smile to spread across my face.

  Feeling Liam’s eyes on us, I looked over at him. His hardened expression that I was beginning to think was a permanent fixture on his face was back. I ignored it and turned to continue to talk with Dax, who obviously had more interest in me than Liam. Dax was good looking. Not nearly as sexy as Liam, but still easy on the eyes. He was lean and tall with short brown hair, hazel eyes and a five o’clock shadow along his jaw line. He was self-assured which was always an attractive trait to me. I am sure his confidence came from being in a moderately successful band.

  “So, Dax, how long have you lived in L.A?”

  Before he could answer me, he was interrupted by Liam’s gruff voice, “Dax. You’re up.”

  “One sec. Can’t you see I’m talkin’ to a beautiful woman here?” Dax winked at me, not bothering to look at his friend while he responded.

  “Take your shot. Then you can do whatever the hell you want,” Liam gritted out as he glared
at his friend. Dax seemed unfazed by the intenseness of his friend.

  “Excuse me, sweetheart. We’ll finish this conversation in a minute.”

  I watched Dax circle the pool table before lining up to take his shot. Liam stepped around the table, his movement drawing my eyes to his body. He was too damn sexy for his own good. It amazed me how he could make a simple t-shirt and jeans look better than an Armani suit. The man did casual well.

  I got a glimpse of his tattoo peeking out from his short sleeves and I pictured myself tracing it with my finger…or my tongue. Either would do. Butterflies took flight in my stomach with the thought. Damn it. I needed to stop picturing these things.

  He stopped a few feet from me, and I could feel the familiar pull between us. Needing to break the tension, I spoke to him for the first time since I arrived, “Three days in a row. This is becoming a thing.”

  He turned his greys on me, annihilating the shield I had tried putting in place when I walked into the bar.

  “This isn’t a thing, princess.”

  Asshole. That wasn’t what I was implying, but the fact he felt the need to clarify and dismiss me ever having that thought was hurtful. Why did he dislike me so much?

  “That’s not what I meant. I’m well aware there will never be a thing with us.”

  “Good.”

  “You’re not my type,” I added for good measure. His body inched closer to mine or maybe mine was inching closer to his. I wasn’t sure.

  “And you’re not mine,” he said pointedly.

  No kidding, jerk. You made that clear when you rejected me last night.

  Not being able to stay in such close proximity to him without touching him, I abruptly moved away, walking towards Dax. Next to someone who actually enjoyed my company. I did my best to ignore Liam and his glares as Dax and I talked and flirted. When Dax was busy playing pool, I sat with Lexie and Jake, keeping my distance from Liam.

  “You girls want to play a round?” Jake asked us.

  “Sure!” Lexie answered before I could say anything.