A Reason to Leave

by Melissa Ellen

  As I approached Joe at the door, his beefy head shook as a smile penetrated his steely expression. “Valerie,” he said my name in greeting. “Go on in, girl. Just stay off the tables tonight.” He raised a warning eyebrow.

  I grinned. “I’ll keep my feet planted firmly on the ground,” I promised. At least physically, figuratively, Liam’s voice already had them floating.

  “Dax told me to have you sit in their booth. It’s in the back corner off the stage.”

  “Thanks, Joe,” I patted his big, brawny arm as I passed him, entering the bar. I stopped a few feet inside the entrance to observe Derailed jamming to an instrumental bridge of the song. Liam’s back was to me as he faced Dax, focused on playing his guitar.

  Watching him lost in the music, had me more determined to get to know the man behind the façade. I inhaled deeply and then pushed my way through the crowd to get a glass of water. I decided tonight I should keep a sober mind. I didn’t want to give Liam any reason to make excuses.

  I slid into the circular booth that was reserved for the band and felt oddly self-conscious as women eyed me with suspicion and distaste. I am sure they were all wondering why the hell I had a table to myself close to the stage. I ignored them, throwing my shoulders back and sitting up tall.

  I looked back at the stage where Liam was now wrapped around the microphone singing. Dax caught my gaze and gave me a sexy grin and a wink. I smiled back and gave him a small wave before my attention was turned back on Liam.

  He didn’t look at me directly, but I knew he was aware of my presence. The same way I was always aware of his when we were in the same room. At the end of the song, the crowd screamed and cheered, begging for more.

  All the Derailed members with exception of Liam stepped away from their instruments and moved off the stage. The room darkened even more and the multiple stage lights were reduced to one spotlight focused on Liam.

  The girls in the crowd began to shrill and shriek, as he started to sing a slowed down, stripped acoustic version of Radiohead’s Creep. It was the first time I had heard him sing a cover song. His smooth, velvety voice pierced my soul, warming my body from the inside out.

  There was an anguish and desperation laced in his voice as he sang that couldn’t be faked. It was real. The lyrics of the song and the pain he felt as he sang them had me wanting to protectively hug him to me. What had happened to make him think so little of himself?

  I was so enchanted by watching him that I hadn’t even noticed his friends join me at the table until Dax’s arms slid around my shoulder. He leaned in giving me a small peck on the cheek, distracting me from Liam.

  “Glad you made it, sweetheart,” he whispered in my ear.

  Shit. I needed to make my intentions for the night clear. Now. “Thanks for inviting me, Dax,” I gave him a small smile, prying my eyes from Liam. “Look….I...I hope you don’t take this the wrong way. And I hope you don’t hate me after I tell you this –”

  “It’s fine, Val,” he smiled, cutting me off. “Don’t worry your pretty little head. I already know.”

  “You do? I mean… you know what exactly?” My eyebrows furrowed together.

  “I know you aren’t here because you wanted to see me,” he said, glancing towards Liam with a smile on his face. He was making this easy on me.

  “How? And… why would you invite me then?”

  He let out a heavy sigh. “Look. Liam and I go way back. I like to think I know him better than anyone. Even better than himself sometimes. He is a good guy who got dealt a shit hand and a bad rap. And for the first time, I’m seeing an opportunity to make him realize it.”

  I nodded, knowing he meant I was that opportunity.

  “So you invited me, thinking he just needed a little push.”

  “Fuck the little push. He needs to be pummeled hard. Right in his fucking face, sweetheart. It’s the only way.”

  I laughed. “How do you suppose we do that?”

  He leaned in, nuzzling his face into my neck. “We’re already doing it,” he whispered in my ear.

  I grinned, “You’re not worried about him kicking your ass.”

  “It will be worth it, if it means my friend will fight for something that’s worth a damn versus taking the scraps thrown at him.”

  “You’re a good friend.”

  “I like to think so. I just hope he sees it that way before he puts me in the hospital.” I shook my head, laughing at him. “Besides, I’m not going to act like this is hard work. I’m going to have fun doing it, sweetheart. You’re not exactly an ugly duckling. If it weren’t for Liam…”

  “Stop it!” I said pushing at his chest playfully, my laughter increasing.

  “That leather skirt last night was fucking hot. But seeing you in these tight ass jeans and fuck me heels has every man in here thinking about having those legs wrapped around them.”

  I blushed. That was my intent when I chose the outfit - skinny jeans, tall stilettos and a low cut blouse.

  “Every man except the one that matters.” My smile faltered as I looked back at Liam.

  “Trust me, sweetheart. He is one of them. He is at the top of the fucking list.”

  I turned back to Dax, “I hope you’re right about all this.”

  “I am. Have a little faith, sweetheart.”

  I nodded and looked back over towards the stage as the song came to an end and the crowd of girls screamed. Liam’s eyes were on me as Dax gave me another small peck on the cheek.

  “I’ll see you in a few. We have to get back out there,” Dax said, sliding out of the booth with Blaine and Trent.

  The rest of the set I watched Derailed play, thoroughly enjoying their music. They were better than I remembered from the other night. Not that I could remember a whole lot beyond Liam’s voice from that night. I yelled and cheered them on, and did my best to contain my temper and jealousy when the girls at the front of the stage would reach for Liam or throw their panties and bras at him. I mean really? Who does that?

  It wasn’t their desperate tactics that had me feeling the most frustrated. It was the attention he gave them while he sang. The smiles, the winks, the seductive looks. I knew it was all part of the show, but it still had me wanting to drag him off the stage and lock him up for myself.

  I knew I had no actual right to feel that way. Liam hadn’t chosen me. He had rejected me on more than one occasion. But after my talk with Dax, I felt like he was mine. Even if he hadn’t done anything to make me believe he was. In fact, he had done everything to show and tell me he wasn’t.

  As the band started the intro of their last song for the night, my anxiety levels increased. I had no idea what was going to happen next. I only hoped it didn’t blow up in my face. Or Dax’s. He told me to trust him, but I barely knew the guy. Putting my trust and faith in his hands was hard. If I hadn’t witnessed the genuine concern for his friend, it would have made me doubt him. But the fact he was willing to risk his own well-being for his friend’s, warmed my heart and had given me a new found respect for Dax.

  The song ended and my heart stopped. In a few seconds, Liam would be sitting with me at the table. The crowd went wild with chants for an encore. The band thanked them, telling them to be sure to come back for the other nights and times they played.

  Recorded music began to play through the sound system over the bar, while the guys put away their instruments. I waited impatiently in the booth for them to join me. My heart was now beating so hard, I thought it was going to break through my chest and runaway. If I was smart, I would follow it straight out the door versus going through with this insane plan of Dax’s and Lexie’s.

  The band was surrounded by female groupies when they stepped off the stage. I wondered if I should leave the booth and do the same, but my nerves had my body cemented to the leather bench seat. Besides, I didn’t want to appear jealous or desperate. Even if I was.

  A few minutes later, Dax and the guys broke free from the herd of girls. Only pulling a few of their se
lected ones for the night along with them. Including Liam.

  To say seeing him link hands with another girl hurt my pride and confidence, was a vast understatement. But I plastered on a fake smile as Dax approached, knowing I needed to be in this for the long haul. The group was following behind Dax, and I could see the look of concern on his own face. Maybe he was having second thoughts. If he was, he pushed those thoughts aside as soon as he slid in the circular booth next to me.

  Blaine and Trent slid in behind him with their own women. Followed by Liam and some ditzy brunette, who was already stripping him with her eyes. Bitch. I sat on the end of the seat, directly across from Liam, neither one of us bothering to greet each other. He was staring me down as he slipped his arm around the brunette. My eyes followed his movement. My fists clenched. What the hell was I thinking? There was no way I could do this.

  I felt Dax’s hand grip my thigh below the table, squeezing it as a sign of support as he leaned in to whisper in my ear, “Are you okay?” His voice was low, only loud enough for me to barely hear over the music.

  I remained focused on Liam whose eyes had narrowed, watching his friend. I gave Dax a small nod of my head and forced a smile.

  A staff member of the bar appeared at the table, delivering us all drinks. She placed a dirty martini in front of me. I looked up at her confused.

  “I didn’t order this.”

  “The guys ordered for you.”

  I looked at Dax, “How did you know what I liked?”

  “I didn’t order it. Liam did.”

  I glanced back over at Liam, surprised he had known my preferred drink. I pushed the glass away from me. “I’m good, thanks,” I said curtly.

  He gave me a sardonic smirk, “Suit yourself, princess.” Then turned to the brunette, whispering in her ear, enticing her to giggle and press her chest into him as she slid her hand up his torso.

  It was freaking torture. I felt myself drifting to a dark place, reminding me of how I felt after seeing the pictures of my boyfriend and friend from my senior year. I couldn’t do this. I am not doing this. I had too much damn respect for myself. Screw him and screw this plan. It was a stupid plan.

  I stood abruptly from the booth to leave. Dax grabbed at my hand, his eyes pleading for me to stay. I ignored him and yanked my hand away, headed for the restrooms. I needed a minute to myself to think. I wasn’t sure if I was staying or leaving, but as I rounded the corner into the hallway that led to the bathrooms, I saw the emergency exit at the end of the hall, drawing me to it.

  I needed to breathe. I needed air. My legs carried me rapidly straight through the door and into a dark alley. The cool air hit my face as I burst out into the open. I inhaled a deep breath. The door slammed shut behind me, and I stepped to the side, leaning my back against the wall.

  I closed my eyes, fighting back tears that had made an undesired appearance. “Ughhhh!” I screamed out into the dark, needing to release the anger and hurt. Why did I think I could do this? I wasn’t strong enough for this. I knew I should probably leave and give up on Liam. It was the safest thing for my sanity and my heart. But the thought of never seeing him again felt unbearable.

  I buried my face in my hands, having no idea what to do. The door smashed open, making me jump, “Shit!” I screeched.

  Liam flew through - his body heaving and tense. “What the hell are you doing out here, Val?” His gruff voice only added to my anger.

  “I needed air,” I said, turning my head from him. I couldn’t look at him right now. I could still see him with that stupid brunette who was probably inside waiting for him.

  “Then you should have went out front where Joe could keep an eye on you. Not alone in a dark fucking alley,” he scowled.

  “What the hell do you care? Shouldn’t you be back inside with your groupie?”

  “Don’t push me, princess,” he growled, moving in front of me, his body in line with mine. I glared up at him.

  “Go. Away.”

  “No.”

  “I want to be alone.”

  “I don’t care. I’m not leaving you out here by yourself.”

  He moved his hands flat against the wall, caging me in. My breaths came out short and heavy. I closed my eyes, hoping the visual loss would help me regain my steady breathing. It didn’t. I could smell his enticing scent. I could feel the heat radiating from his body and his warm breath sweeping across my skin. The desire to touch him was bone deep. I fisted my hands at my sides.

  “Tell me what’s wrong, princess,” he whispered softly. I opened my eyes, finding his face soft. His eyes searching. His lips too near.

  “I can’t believe you are even asking me that. You know. Please don’t pretend like you don’t. It only makes it that much harder.”

  “Harder to do what?”

  “To walk away. If I thought you didn’t know, I won’t be able to walk away. It would only give me false hope.”

  He tilted his head back, looking at the sky for a moment. I watched his chest rise with a deep inhale before he dropped his head back down to look at me. His eyes hooded over as his breathing became labored. His right hand lowered, slipping under my hair, cupping the back of my neck. Tingles prickled down my spine. His eyes focused on my lips for a moment and then locked on my eyes.

  “What are you doing?” I quivered, trying to control the nerve endings that were igniting inside me.

  “I’m going to kiss you now, princess,” he whispered as his thumb grazed the edge of my jaw. Before I could even comprehend his words, he claimed my mouth, kissing me fiercely.

  My earth-shattered. Waves of lust rolled through me. An indescribable sensation took possession of every inch of my body. He nipped at my bottom lip as his hands descended, gliding down my body. His tongue brushed along the seam of my mouth. I opened, allowing him passage as my hands fisted in his hair.

  His palms cupped my bottom, lightly lifting me to my toes. I used the momentum to jump into his arms, wrapping my legs possessively around his hips.

  He pushed my back against the brick wall, flattening us against each other. He growled as I rotated my hips up into him, needing the friction I was desperate for. I dropped my hands to grasp his broad shoulders as his lips dropped, roving and sucking my neck, allowing me to catch a rapid breath.

  “Liam,” I moaned his name, wanting to claim him. Wanting him to claim me. His delicious assault came to an icy halt. His body tensed. His face was still buried. Nerves took over.

  “Shit,” he groaned.

  Oh, no. Please, no. Please don’t push me away. I begged internally. If he did, I would be broken. Everything I was feeling in that moment was like nothing I had ever felt before. Having felt and experienced his lips and what they did to my body, there was no way I could move on from this. From him.

  He lifted his head to look at me, still holding me close. His eyes weren’t distant, but he was definitely frustrated.

  “We aren’t doing this.”

  “What?” I breathed out my confused fear.

  “I’m not doing this in an alley. Not with you.”

  My mind raced, trying to understand what he was saying. His hand moved to my face as he held me one armed, still pinned against the wall. He brushed the hair from my eyes and kissed me gently before pulling away to look me in the eyes, “I want to take you home.”

  I nodded. Understanding and relief washed over me.

  My stomach was in knots. I was stressed and on edge the whole drive home. We had both shown up to the bar in our own cars. He had decided to follow me, and the whole way to my apartment, I prayed he didn’t change his mind.

  It wasn’t until we were parked and getting out of our vehicles that I felt a miniscule amount of relief. I don’t think I would fully believe he wasn’t going to leave me until I had him locked inside my apartment with my legs and arms wrapped around him in a vice grip.

  He met me at the side of my car and clasped my hand in his as we walked inside my extravagant apartment building. I was nervous
about him seeing where I lived. He seemed a little uneasy also, which only increased my own anxiety. I already knew something about my wealth bothered him without him really knowing how wealthy my family was.

  I squeezed his hand tighter, ready to fight to keep him if he tried to get away. He looked at me and grinned, revealing his dimple I loved, knowing exactly what I was doing.

  “Don’t worry, princess. I’m not going anywhere but your bed.”

  I smiled back, but still kept my tight grasp on him. Just in case. I preferred to always take precautions.

  My fear was unwarranted. We barely made it inside my apartment before his hands and lips were all over me. He lifted me into his arms effortlessly as he continued to kiss me.

  “Where’s your room?” his husky voice asked between his invasions of my mouth.

  I pointed in the direction of my bedroom, unable to form words. My mind was only focused on one thing and exercising my adeptness of the English language was not one of them.

  He kicked my door closed with his foot as we passed through the threshold of my bedroom. He laid me on the bed, releasing me for the first time as he stood beside me.

  His eyes steadily slid over my body with admiration. I took the opportunity to appreciate every inch of his body also. I followed the slow movement of his hands as they reached for the hem of his shirt, lifting it over his head, revealing his rippled chest. My stomach did a tiny somersault.

  I mimicked his movement, pulling my own shirt off. His eyes widened, along with his smile. A smile I had rarely seen before, but I would do everything in my power to see all the time from now on. Even if it meant walking around naked.

  He removed his phone, keys, and wallet from his jeans, setting them beside me on the nightstand as if it was the most natural thing in the world for him to be here with me in my room. His movements were entirely too slow. And were driving me wild. I wanted him in me. Now. And I had no idea how he was maintaining his control.

  I huffed my impatience. After the last few days, I was beyond sexually frustrated. He grinned mischievously, slowly undoing the top button and zipper of his jeans. Then dropping them from his waist. He was commando and every bit of his manhood was present.