Dr. Orgasm (A Holiday Romance Collection Book 2)

by Michelle Love

  The nasally utterance grated on her nerves. She took a deep breath and rolled her eyes, then crept up to the door and peeked around into the office. As per usual, it was tiny, cramped, and the desk was littered with papers. Shelves on the walls were packed with books and binders and there were six huge bottles of pineapple vodka, leftover from another promo flop, crowded in the back corner.

  A very short, very thin, very pockmarked man in a stiff, charcoal gray button-up with a pair of wiry glasses sat in the bulky, black office chair, typing furiously on a keyboard attached to a clunky desktop monitor.

  “What do you need, Eric?” she asked, the airy, pleasant professionalism in her voice masking her deep, preoccupying loathing for the tiny man and his huge attitude.

  “Hey, I just wanted to say thanks for coming in and helping me out tonight. We had two servers call in tonight if you can imagine that, and as always, I just wanted to thank you for all your hard work and being such a team player.” Eric said it all without looking away from the screen. The lack of eye contact only added to the professional yet wildly insincere tone that he always seemed to have.

  “Yeah, of course,” she replied. “You know me, I need the money.”

  “Yeah, art majors usually tend to need help with that.”

  “Yeah,” she replied bluntly. “Can you come clock me in?”

  Eric stood and Aullie, at only five-foot-seven, could see straight over his head. His height, or lack thereof, coupled with his hair-trigger temper and inflated self-importance had earned him the nickname Napoleon, among his staff. As they walked together back up to the point-of-sale computers, Aullie nursed her battered ego.

  She wished his playful jab at her chosen career path still hadn’t damaged any hope she had harbored for making it as an artist, but after the show that weekend, there wasn’t much left there for him to damage.

  Truth was, she was coming up on three years of learning to draw, and to paint, and which colors to do it with, and which artist was responsible for every painting. Three years of late nights spent sketching, erasing, re-sketching, smudging, coloring, color-mixing, painting, and swearing. Three years of smudged fingertips, washing brushes, and praying countless stains come out in the wash or the shower. And in three months, when she had walked across the stage to receive her fine arts diploma, she knew that she was walking into an unforgiving world whose approval she would need if she ever hoped to pay her rent.

  Sure, she had known that going in but she hadn’t really known it until she’d put her heart and soul up on the walls in front of gallery owners and private buyers and walked away with only sixty dollars and not a single showing contract. It had been five days since the show but the wound still sucked at her gut like a raw, angry hunger.

  ‘I’m going to be waiting tables forever’, Aullie thought morosely. She pictured herself as an old woman, liver spots on her pale, slender hands and shots of gray through her inky black hair, serving Irish car bombs to college boys and her heart sank halfway to her knees.

  She tapped her login code, 8134, into the POS which popped up a window that read, ‘Clock in time was: 4:30 PM. Are you early?’

  Eric swiped his manager card to complete her clock-in and she was good to go. Ready to serve all of the tables that weren’t there. Awesome!

  “Where’s your name tag?” Eric barked, short and snappy like a little Yorkie.

  With a resigned sigh, Aullie said, “In my pocket.” She began to dig it out.

  “Why isn’t it on your shirt?” Eric asked, smugly.

  “It’s getting there,” Aullie said, locking eyes with him as she fussed with the magnetic back to attach it under her collarbone. Her tone was playful but her eyes said beware. Eric turned and walked away, an ugly, smarmy smile on his little face.

  Nobody else would be there until five and she had forgotten to ask Eric what the new host’s name was. Aullie didn’t really want to talk to her anyway, so she wandered around the restaurant wiping crumbs off chairs with a wet rag, refilling the already full ice bin, brewing new tea they probably didn’t need, anything to keep her mind off her failure as an artist.

  Not a failure. She chastised herself for her negative self-talk. A lot of the greats didn’t make it big at first. The thought perked her up a little bit; it was true, a lot of stellar artists weren’t big and famous right off the bat. She was only twenty-two, she had time to get better, right? A sinister voice nagged at the back of her head. A lot of the greats still didn’t make any money either.

  The next few hours dragged on. There was supposed be a pot for the football game at seven, but at a quarter-til, there was still only about one table per server and a few bearded men cluttering the bar. Aullie had only made thirteen dollars in almost three hours and once again, she was regretting helping Eric out. She practically lived there, especially on the weekends, and she was beginning to wonder if she should try to find another job.

  As if on cue, about four minutes to kickoff, a small herd of men in team colors lumbered into the bar. They yelled, high-fived, back-clapped, and whooped as they all blazed past the host stand and began seating themselves at random around the bar.

  Aullie exchanged looks across the drink station with Brittany, a beautiful, full-figured Latina who was probably Aullie’s only real work friend. They rolled their eyes in sync. The two of them straightened out their aprons, allowing the men to settle themselves in as the other three waitresses hovered around as they all readied to strike.

  Three of Aullie’s booths filled up and she started at the furthest, number eleven.

  “Hey there guys.” She switched into server mode: perky, smiley, and just a little bit flirtatious. “I’m Aullie, I’m going to be taking care of you. What are we drinking?”

  The order; three Coors lights and two jack and cokes. The second booth at table twelve were all older, overweight, married men who leered at the low-V neckline on her work shirt. They ordered two pitchers of beer and a round of fireball shots. She shuffled down to table fourteen, ready to gear up her spiel and take some more orders but suddenly her breath was sucked away.

  There were four men at the table. The first man had a rough beard and wore a classic plaid flannel, semi-hot in a hipster lumberjack sort of way. The second man was clean cut, blonde and baby-faced wearing a crisp oxford. The third had a mess of unruly bushy hair escaping from an upside-down and backward sport visor. He was wearing a hockey jersey for some reason. But the fourth man.

  The fourth man was a dream come true.

  Even though he was sitting down, she could tell he was tall. Aullie had always been a sucker for tall guys. He was long and lean, with great posture. He wore a fitted Henley that hugged his thick, athletic arms. The thin fabric strained against his swollen pecs. He had that brownish-blonde hair that women paid good money for, but Aullie was sure it was natural.

  His golden hair was barely brushed. Thick, prominent brows framed a stunning pair of practically gold hazel eyes. His full lips were twisted in a predatory grin as those gold eyes bore into her so intensely, Aullie couldn’t breathe. Something about the man struck her to her core. He looked at her the way a leopard would a gazelle, and she was startled to find she felt almost... aroused.

  The spell was broken, thankfully, when Visor Boy leapt up. His knees jostled the table, he pumped his fist in the air, yelling, “WOOOO DOGGY! Yeah! Go boys, go boys!” His fist pump narrowly missed Aullie’s head. The sudden commotion distracted her and gave her heart a different reason to race. Golden Eyes still watched her, before he chuckled slightly and she felt heat rise in her cheeks.

  “Sorry about that,” he apologized, with a smooth British accent.

  ‘Of course, he has a British accent’, Aullie thought lustfully. “Oh, it’s no problem,” she stammered. “I’m Aullie, I’ll be taking care of you guys.”

  “Well, that’s a weird way to spell it,” Visor Boy cut her off, leering at her name tag. “Isn’t that a boy’s name? Like O-l-l-i-e?”

  “Usually, yea
h,” Aullie replied, hoping her to make her irritation sound light-hearted. “So, can I get you guys something to drink?”

  Lumberjack wanted a Sam Adams, Baby Face got a gin and Tonic, and Visor Boy got a double Jack and Coke. Golden Eyes asked how she got her name.

  “Oh, uh,” she stuttered. “My real name is Aulora, like Aurora but with an L in the middle? But I end up getting called ‘Laura’ a lot and I just prefer Aullie.”

  “Beautiful,” his sexy accent purred. “And so unique. I like it. Could you get me a short stout and a shot of Jameson?”

  “Which stout? We have…”

  He cut her off. “Surprise me.”

  The way he said it, the wicked gleam in his eye, the sensuous curl to his lips, and that voice. Aullie wasn’t usually one to get so star-struck by men, but she wanted to surprise him with so much more than just a beer. She tapped away at the POS. Thankful she had written everything down before Mister British scrambled her brain.

  Brittany walked up behind her, flicking overflowed beer off her manicured hands. She examined her precious fake nails, currently Tiffany-box blue with sparkly silver bows ironically adorning her third fingers.

  “Hey, Brit,” Aullie called, wiggling her fingers in front of the screen.

  “Yo,” Brittany joked in her fake Chola voice.

  In more of a commanding tone than she meant to use, Aullie ordered, “You have to run my drinks to table fourteen.”

  An instant glare moved over the other waitress’s, overly made up, face. “Bitch, why? Do your own job.”

  “Bitch, because there’s a guy there. He’s built, hot as hell, and British.”

  “Oh, honey, consider me there.” She sashayed her voluptuous buttocks over to the bar to snatch the drinks before someone else could. Aullie laughed and shook her head as she finished ringing everything up.

  Aullie began filling fifteen waters, hoping to keep everyone at least a little sober. Cutting people off was a hassle that she wasn’t feeling up to. She took them to her other tables first, ensuring that Brittany could get in on the eye candy. Then she took some orders for potato skins, hot wings, and fried cheese. She walked straight past table fourteen when she saw Brittany at the computer. If she’d been paying attention, Aullie would’ve noticed the dreamy British hunk watching her like a hawk.

  “So, what do you think?” Aullie asked Brittany with a wicked smile.

  “Oh my god, girl, total ten. Get his number and send me pictures when you do him,” Brittany said. She waggled her perfect, penciled-in eyebrows and bumped her hips against Aullie’s suggestively as she worked the computer.

  “Oh, whatever,” Aullie laughed. “Guys like that don’t leave me their number. Guys like his weird buddy in the visor leave me their number. And I am not going out with him.” She shuddered at the thought of spending an evening with that buffoon.

  Brittany clucked disapprovingly. “Next time you go shopping make sure you find some confidence that fits you, girl. You could totally bag that. Oh shit, some dude’s waving me down. Asshole,” she muttered under her breath as she wandered off toward an acne-ridden blonde who was staring her down as though she were a chunk of meat.

  ‘Gotta love the bar business’, Aullie thought.

  Appetizer orders in, Aullie took another trayful of waters back to table fourteen, where she was actually grateful to see the men all invested in the game.

  “Here are these for you guys, just in case,” she said cheerfully as she arranged the glasses in front of the four men, snatching away the Brit’s empty shot glass. The TV was behind her and none of them looked away, except for Golden Eyes. His smoldering stare made her feel warm, almost feverish.

  “Thank you,” he politely said. When no one else budged, he spoke a bit louder to his friends. “Thank the lady.”

  The three of them seemed to reanimate from their dumbstruck sports faces, and a chorus of quiet, habitual thanks were heard round the table.

  “So, are we eating? Or…”

  Before she could finish, Aullie was once again cut off by Visor Boy. “Fuck yeah, let’s get some wings! Like, a butt-ton of wings!”

  “Dylan, what the hell is wrong with you? I’m sorry about him, Miss Aullie,” the way Golden Eyes said her name with a formal title tickled her a little. She wasn’t exactly used to manners in the dive that she worked in. “I’m Weston, by the way.” Not only was it kind of a sexy name, but his accent really gave some body to the ‘W’, making it sound almost regal.

  “Nice to meet you, Weston,” Aullie could practically feel her nervous knees knocking together. Get a grip, Aulls, she silently told herself to pull herself together. “So. Wings. What flavor? What sauces for dipping? How many? What are we doing?”

  There was some grumbling between the men. Clearly, no one was prepared, and as much as Aullie enjoyed being in Weston’s presence, she did have other things to do. She hoped her anxious jiggling and flicking eyes weren’t too noticeable, but finally the conclusion was come to that they would have one pound of medium and one pound of sweet and spicy Thai with ranch and bleu cheese. She jotted a note on the pad in her order book, promised them it would be right out, and turned to leave.

  Before she could take even two steps away, Dylan raucously called, “Oh yeah, and some shots! Make it a round of Jame-o!”

  Though irritated, Aullie turned, smiled and scribbled on her pad to acknowledge that she’d heard. Weston glared at his friend, shaking his head and smiling as he brought the glass of thick, dark beer to his lips. Aullie wondered briefly how two such different men had become friends.

  Orders were taken, drinks and food were run to tables, and eventually the bar settled back into a lull. The waitresses hung out in hidden corners, gossiping, giggling and complaining out of view of their tables. Aullie’s feet had begun to ache and she was startled to see that it was already half-time.

  With eleven and twelve managed, Aullie sauntered over to table fourteen. Though Weston was definitely the highlight of her night, Dylan had wasted no time getting half-cocked on shots and it turned out that he was even more obnoxious when he was intoxicated.

  She approached with caution, asking, “Everything alright over here?”

  The question was met with an enthusiastic, “Woo!” right into her face. Dylan’s breath stank of hot sauce and whiskey.

  “So, I’ll take that as a yes?” She was trying for coy, hoping her exhaustion and annoyance weren’t showing yet.

  “We’re great,” the lumberjack said. “I’m sorry about him, I don’t know why he’s acting like such a dick.” With the last word, he turned angry eyes on Dylan and kicked him under the table.

  “Really, it’s fine. He’s super mellow compared to what usually goes on here. You guys are first timers, huh?”

  She’d directed the question at the group, hoping Weston would answer for them, but unfortunately, it was Dylan who said, “Nah, we’ve been in a few times before but didn’t even realize this was, like, the place to watch the game. You guy’s got a great set up here.”

  “Oh, you mean all these?” Aullie held her hands out and gestured at their TV collection. It really was ridiculous, there were more TV’s in the bar than there were tables. On days when there were multiple games, it actually got super disorienting with all those colorful bodies moving out of sync.

  “Yeah. Those.” There was a libidinous tone to Dylan’s reply, and his muddy brown eyes were squarely on her chest.

  Aullie narrowed her eyes. “Too bad those aren’t for public viewing,” she spat. Before he could annoy her any further, Aullie stalked away. Some girls thrived under that kind of attention, and Aullie really didn’t understand. It just felt so… smarmy.

  The second half of the game sounded like an exciting one, lots of table pounding and drawn out ohhhhh’s in the dining room. However, Eric had decided to cut the floor so that everyone could get all of their side work done by the time that their tables finished so then everyone could clear out and stop wasting his labor hours on a bunch
of table-campers.

  Aullie rushed around, almost frantically, assigning and checking everyone else’s little chores for the night and scribbling her messy signature on checkout forms. Fully aware of how much she had been neglecting her tables, she regretfully marched down the row of booths, dropping off checks and hiding her worn-out soul behind a peppy little mask.

  Eleven and twelve were both ready to tab out, thank God, and she approached fourteen to find Weston gone. The other three men made signing motions in the air and Lumberjack said, “All on one check.”

  Aullie wondered idly where he’d gone, but was frankly too tired to care anymore. After a long day of classes, studio time, and then a work shift, she was completely worn out. Plus, like she’d told Brittany, it wasn’t like anything would ever happen between them anyway, so it wasn’t like his being there was going to change anything.

  Aullie passed out tabs, collected cards, ran cards, returned tabs and, bid all her happy patrons a good night, all without another sighting of Weston.

  ‘Oh well’, she thought. Dylan had paid fourteen’s tab, and Aullie watched him from the POS as he continued to scribble on the receipt long after he should’ve been finished signing it.

  “Told you I’d get weirdo Visor Boy’s number,” Aullie grumbled to Brittany, who was slipping into her coat to leave for the night.

  “Bummer girl, I’m sorry,” she replied. Suddenly, Brittany perked up, pointing a bright teal finger in the air. “Unless! Maybe British Dream had to leave early on some kind of emergency or something and dipshit over there is giving you his number instead!”

  “Yeah, ha ha,” Aullie’s voice was dripping with sarcasm and she rolled her eyes. She hugged Brittany goodnight and waved at the other girls who were heading out the door.

  Eventually, Dylan and his friends left too. Aullie walked the row of booths, tucking checkbooks into her apron pockets and balancing cold, dirty glasses in her arms. The bar stank of fried food and spilled beer, and the air was hotter and muggier than it had been before the rush.