Billionaire Bachelors: Gray

by Anne Marie Winston

  Okay, the sex was incredible but I still can’t get involved with you.

  I have to think of Michael, of how he’ll be affected by any gossip about me.

  She brushed her teeth, then checked her watch. Only eight. Michael typically slept until close to nine, and she heard Patsy stirring around in her room. Her mother-in-law would hear him if he awoke before Catherine returned.

  So if she went over to his cottage right now, she could get it over with instead of worrying all day about how to nip this insane attraction in the bud.

  On the short walk over, she had to stop and take a deep breath beneath the dogwood tree where they’d lain last night. There was no indication that they’d been there except for a slight crushing of the grass that no one else would ever notice.

  But she noticed. And she remembered. She swallowed hard. She was a mother. A pillar of the community. She had a job now that could suffer if her reputation was sullied. She couldn’t be involved with Gray.

  Buoyed by the thoughts, she walked the rest of the short distance. Knocking briskly on the door, she tensed when she heard his footfalls approach.

  He swung the door open. “Good morning.” There was pleasure and mild surprise in his expression as he ushered her inside. Then he turned, and his face had changed from inquiring to intent, his eyes from pleasant friendliness to blazing sexual heat. Without another word, he pushed her back against the door and covered her mouth with his. His tongue thrust into her mouth in a blatant imitation of his actions last night, and she could feel the hard strength of his thighs already pressing boldly against her. A few layers of clothing were all that lay between them, and she probably would have sold her soul to be able to lift her legs around his waist and join with him again in the wild and wonderful world they’d created together.

  When he lifted his mouth abruptly, she was still lost in sensual preoccupation.

  “I believe I already said good morning, but now it’s gone from good to great.” He smiled down at her, holding her less tightly.

  “Ah, good morning.” She tried to gather her scattered thoughts. “We have to talk.”

  “No, we don’t. We do pretty well without any words at all.” His blue eyes sparkled, drawing her into an intimate wordless sharing. She was halfway to putting her arms up around his neck and leaning into him when she realized what she was doing, and she hastily crossed them instead.

  Shaken, she looked away, and a less than comfortable silence fell between them.

  “Was it something I said?” His voice was whimsical but she sensed an underlying intensity, an unnamed tension that throbbed in the air between them.

  She swallowed, shook her head.

  “Then why do I have the feeling we’ve just taken a giant step backward?”

  She sighed. “Because we have. I have—I have to.” She suited action to her words then, stepping a full foot away from him. “I can’t engage in an extramarital affair,” she said baldly.

  “Since you’re not married anymore, I’m not sure that’s accurate.” His voice was even and easy. “So forget an affair. How about some strictly physical, mind-blowing recreational sex?”

  Her gaze flew to meet his again, and the humor she saw there made her smile. “You’re not taking me seriously,” she accused.

  “Yes, I am.” His expression was deadpan. “If sex is all you’re willing to give me, I’ll try my hardest to settle for that.”

  Now she laughed aloud, the awkwardness of the earlier moment forgotten. “I can’t get physical with you again,” she said firmly. “It complicates things too much.”

  “Some things are meant to be complicated.” His voice was quiet and sure, and she had the impression he was thinking of more than their mutual attraction. Before she could move farther away, he stepped close to her again and gathered her against him, lowering his head and setting his lips on hers.

  Dear God. She had always thought of herself as a woman with willpower, but as his hands moved over her back and down to clasp her hips, urging her up and into him, she could literally feel her self-determination draining away. It was like every other time he’d kissed her. The moment their lips met, every brain cell she had went into hibernation. Only now…now it was even worse because she knew.

  Now she knew what ecstasy lay in store for her. Resisting him wasn’t just difficult, it was impossible.

  With a little sigh, she put her arms around his neck, letting him part her lips and explore her mouth as her body came alight with need and desire. He was big and warm and hard against her, surrounding her with his heat as he crowded her back against the wall and pressed himself snugly against her, parting her thighs with a knee and moving between her legs.

  She moaned at the intimate feel of his arousal against her tender, throbbing mound, and he swallowed the sound. Oh, she shouldn’t want this, shouldn’t need this, shouldn’t need him so desperately, she thought dimly. Was this why she’d really come here this morning?

  God, she hated to think so, but… But when his warm hands slipped up beneath her skirt and he hooked his fingers in her panty hose and panties, she didn’t resist as he peeled them down her legs and tossed them aside. He opened her blouse and shoved it back, simply lifting a breast free of the confines of her bra so that he could take her into his mouth, and when he began to suck gently, swirling his tongue around and around the sensitive peak, she felt her legs buckle.

  “No, sweet thing.” His breath blasted her tender earlobe. “Stay on your feet.” His hands held her until she’d locked her knees; his voice was a rough murmur as he worked his hands between them and freed himself from his pants. Seconds later, she was shocked from the sensual lethargy in which she’d been floating as his heavy shaft probed between her legs, pulsing and moving as he sought her soft entrance. He took her bottom in his big hands, lifting her and tilting her hips to receive him, and moments later, he swallowed her scream as he thrust home, beginning a strong pounding rhythm that sent shock waves from her most sensitive woman’s flesh racing through her entire body. She’d expected to be sore, but he’d taken such care to ready her for him last night that she wasn’t nearly as tender as she’d anticipated.

  Automatically, she clamped her legs around his lean hips, clinging to him as he moved steadily within her. He dropped his head and kissed her, then the rhythm changed and she felt his control flying to pieces. He threw back his head, teeth gritted, jaw locked as he held her against the door and slammed into her again and again. There was no sound in the cottage except for his harsh breathing, her breathy moans and the insistent slap of flesh meeting flesh in a slick, sweaty, primal mating ritual. She felt her own climax gathering like a fist inside her, tighter and tighter, and she began to cry out with each thrust.

  “Let go,” he said in a guttural tone that barely sounded like him. “I want you to come with me.” He rolled his hips heavily against her, and with a sudden surge of sensation, she began to fly apart, her body arching and shaking in his arms.

  Gray growled, and his big body went rigid, pressing her hard against the door as her body tightened and clung around him. She felt the repeated pumping of his release exploding deep within her, and she tightened her legs more securely around him, loving the heavy, rolling thrusts that signaled the end.

  At last they both were still. Gray kept her with him as he staggered to a nearby couch and flopped down, and she gasped as the motion drove his still-hard shaft deep into her. His eyes were closed, head lying limply against the back of the sofa, but a smile crossed his face and his hands slipped lazily over her bottom, stroking the soft flesh.

  “Now this is the right way to start the day,” he proclaimed.

  She smiled against his shirtfront, just realizing that they both still wore most of their clothes.

  “I wish I’d been able to sleep with you last night. I wanted to hold you all night long.” His words wove warm, intimate images in her mind. Then his tone changed, and she knew he was grinning. “But failing that, this is the next best thin
g.”

  “Umm-hmm.” She didn’t want to talk, didn’t want to move.

  He pulled her blouse free of her skirt and gently scratched her back, running his fingertips up and down in a manner that made her arch beneath his hands. She loved to be touched like that—how had he known?

  “What made you do that?” she asked in a muffled tone. “I love having my back scratched after—afterward.”

  “After you make love to me,” he said with deep satisfaction. Then he shrugged in answer. “I don’t know, it just seemed like the thing to do at the time.”

  “It was,” she assured him. Somewhere in her mind was a question, but she couldn’t quite draw it from beneath the sweet haze of completion that enveloped them, and eventually she stopped trying.

  “Catherine?” He continued lightly stroking her back. “I hate to bring up mundane matters but do you realize we haven’t talked about birth control?”

  She shook her head against his shoulder. “Not a problem. I’m on the Pill.”

  “Oh.”

  “My periods were irregular after Michael was born and when they hadn’t settled down after a year, the doctor thought we should try this.” She felt the need to explain, though he hadn’t said another word.

  “It doesn’t bother you that I didn’t wear anything?”

  Slowly, she sat up, regarding him in silence. “How many women have you done this with in the past couple of years?”

  “None.”

  She was a little shocked. “None without protection?”

  “No,” he repeated, “none at all.”

  “Why?” She blurted it out without thinking, too surprised to hide her astonishment. “You’re single, you’re healthy and you can’t tell me you haven’t had women interested.”

  “Lovemaking should mean something more than just scratching a physical itch,” he said quietly. “I was never much of a hound dog, but my accident made me realize that every single thing in life is important and should be precious.”

  She held her breath, wondering what else he might say, but he was silent. Did that mean that she meant something to him? She couldn’t pursue the thought, afraid of where it might lead her.

  Okay, so she’d been stupid to think she could stay out of his arms. She’d never had an affair before, but she supposed she was involved now, whether or not it was sensible. The thing was, an affair was a short-lived relationship. And Gray was becoming more important to her by the day.

  Important enough that in the space of one short morning she’d swung from thinking she was going to have to stop seeing him to admitting to herself that she had long-term dreams where he was concerned. Dreams like rings. Dreams like wedding vows and more children.

  But she couldn’t say any of that to Gray. True, he’d made references to the future, but he certainly hadn’t said anything specific.

  Was he thinking the same things she was? She supposed that the only way to find out was to wait and see.

  Eight

  “Stay a while.” He lifted her off his lap with an easy strength that secretly thrilled her, then passed her a box of tissues while he righted his clothes and walked to the door.

  “I can’t,” she said as she tugged her skirt down, feeling incredibly abandoned and wicked as the air caressed her uncovered skin beneath it. “Michael will be waking up soon.”

  He nodded. “All right. I’ll walk you back.”

  “No,” she said hastily. “That’s all right.” Patsy might be in the kitchen and if she saw them together…well, she could add. Her panty hose and underwear were a tangled heap, and she eventually gave up trying to salvage the hose, settling for bare legs and panties.

  Gray was studying her, his brow drawn into a frown. “Are you ashamed of this? Of us?”

  She froze. “It’s not that I’m ashamed, exactly, I’m just…uncomfortable. I’m not used to sneaking around. And I don’t think I’m ready for Patsy to find out we’re carrying on.”

  “‘Carrying on’?” He began to chuckle. “Is that what we’re doing? Catherine, Patsy isn’t blind. She probably didn’t come back downstairs last night on purpose.”

  She stared at him. “You really think so?”

  He took her in his arms, smiling down at her as he caressed her back. “I’d bet on it. Patsy might be aging, but she hasn’t forgotten what it’s like to be in—interested in someone.”

  She groaned, burying her face in his shirt. “I’m so embarrassed. What must she be thinking?”

  “That you’re a young woman who shouldn’t live the rest of her life alone. That she’s glad you’re happy. That you’re lucky to be with a handsome, virile stud like me.”

  She raised her head, unable to keep from laughing, and balled her fist to jab him in the chest. “Be serious.”

  He caught her fist in his hand before she could land the blow. “I am serious about some things.” His eyes grew dark. “I’m serious about the fact that you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known.”

  She smiled. “Maybe you’re prejudiced.”

  “Maybe.” He grinned back at her, blue eyes sparkling. Then he broke into the chorus from a Broadway musical that spoke to the theme of a woman’s beauty.

  Catherine felt shock roll through her as she heard the familiar phrases. Mike had loved that song. He’d sung it to her often. In fact, she still had the CD around somewhere, although she hadn’t played it since his death.

  Gray’s voice faded into silence as he saw her face. “What?”

  “I—Mike sang that all the time.” She was too shaken to dissemble.

  Gray’s eyes cooled and the animation drained from his features. “Sorry,” he said in a curt tone, dropping his hands from her.

  “No, it just…caught me by surprise,” she protested. “Frankly, a lot of the things you do and say remind me of him.”

  His eyebrows rose. “Are you telling me you’re with me because I remind you of your husband?”

  She would have sworn there was a trace of hurt in his voice, although his face was expressionless, his manner that of a man who didn’t really care about the answer.

  “Of course not. That’s silly.”

  “Is it? Why is it silly to hope that the woman you’re growing to care for doesn’t just want you because you’re familiar?” His face changed as he spoke, becoming even less approachable, and she realized he was regretting what he’d just said.

  “It’s silly because it’s not true,” she said quietly, her gaze on his face. “It’s silly because the woman you’re growing to care for thinks she’s growing to care for you, too, and it scares her stiff.”

  Finally, his eyes softened. “Does it?” He reached for her, pulling her against him and kissing her forehead before leaning back to look down into her face again. “I’m sorry if I overreacted,” he said. “I feel like I’m at a disadvantage, like I have a rival I can never measure up to.”

  “You don’t have a rival,” she said. She took a deep breath. “Sometimes it seems that you understand me far too well for the short amount of time we’ve known each other. Mike…Mike loved me but he didn’t ever really understand me, my hopes, my dreams. He wanted to keep me in an ivory tower, much like his mother has been her entire life. He never understood that it was important to me to be a part of the world, to make a difference.” She smiled wryly. “He’d have had a fit about me working. He would have hated it.”

  “But you enjoy it.”

  “Yes. I do.” It seemed so disloyal but it was true. Mike hadn’t really known what lay beneath her surface. He would have been happy if she’d been a social butterfly like his mother, an occasional volunteer at nothing too dirty or rigorous, a full-time mother content with raising her children. The first two would have made her crazy. The third…while she loved being a mother, she loved the challenge her new job presented and would feel somehow less complete if she wasn’t involved in something like that. Gray understood that. And he understood her in other ways, as well. He knew what she was thinking before she
even spoke, it sometimes seemed.

  “I’ve only known you a few weeks,” she said, her voice quivering despite her efforts to stay calm, “and already I can imagine you being a part of my life for…a long time. Everything I learn about you only makes me like you more.”

  “All right, so—”

  She put a hand over his mouth. “But I have to think of Michael. I can’t make mistakes that could affect him, so we have to take this slowly. Do you understand?”

  Behind her hand, he nodded. Then she felt his lips brushing her palm in a kiss. He reached up and removed her hand, but held it between both of his. “Thank you for your honesty.” His chest rose and fell. “I have something I want to tell you, too—”

  “Could we do it later?” God, she hated to put him off, when his eyes were so blue and sincere. Some sixth sense told her it was important. “I really have to get back to the house.”

  “Sure.” His arms loosened. “I’ll walk you part-way back.” He smiled and held up two fingers like a Boy Scout. “I promise I won’t let Patsy see me.”

  What a coward he was, he thought as he walked toward the house three days later. He wondered if she’d realized how relieved he was when she’d asked if he could postpone telling her his important news. Still…he’d almost told her. God, he’d wanted to. But was she ready for it?

  Of course she wasn’t. How could anyone ever be ready for the kind of bombshell he would drop? She said she was growing to care for him; he could only pray that those growing feelings would be enough to allow her to forgive him for deceiving her, to allow her to accept that Mike was a part of him and always would be.

  He avoided thinking about just how much a part of him Mike had proved to be. How could he ever tell her that? She’d think he was insane.

  That, of course, depended on whether or not he ever actually got a chance to talk with her about it. He’d been waiting, wanting plenty of uninterrupted time, which appeared to be in short supply around the Thorne house.

  Although he’d eaten dinner with them the night before last, Michael had been running a low-grade fever and she hadn’t wanted to leave him. He could understand that. And she’d worked extra hours this week because of a fund-raiser she’d planned and needed to oversee.