The First Touch of Sunlight

by Len Webster

  “Hey, Meredith,” he said in a small voice.

  Tears filled her eyes. Cooper Hepburn had been the one to take her home after her rape. She had never told him what happened. She’d only said that someone had hurt her and that was it. She believed that he must have thought someone had hurt her feelings because he never pressed her for more.

  “Hey, Coop.” Then she glanced at the beautiful woman next to him. “You must be Peyton.”

  She gave her a small smile. “It’s lovely to meet you, Meredith.”

  Peyton was sweet and absolutely gorgeous.

  “I wish under better circumstances,” Meredith replied. Then she glanced at Cooper. “Go easy on Margot,” she urged as she stepped around them and headed back into the house.

  Behind her, she heard Margot scream, “Never, ever come back, Meredith! You’re dead to me! I wish you had stayed gone!”

  Meredith tried to ignore the way Margot’s hate-filled words burned into her chest. It made it hard to breathe and only made her quicken her steps. Once inside, she rushed to the front door, feeling her tears run as she made her way to her car.

  On her drive home, it had gotten dark. Meredith had to pull over on the side of the road. She’d gotten out of her car and thrown up. Then, when she was sure that she’d thrown up everything, she’d gone back to her car and sat in the driver’s seat.

  Her phone had rung.

  It was Phil.

  But she ignored his calls.

  Margot hated her.

  Despised her for leaving Warren Meadows for seven years.

  Resented her for never disclosing that she’d been raped.

  Once Meredith had made it home, she dropped to the floor and leant against the front door, sobbing. She realised her best friend had bottled up seven years of hate and let it all go in one outburst. The truth had come out. Margot had never wanted her to return. After she had pulled herself together, Meredith let Dutch out of her bedroom and went to the lounge room. She picked up her MacBook and opened the Safari browser. She typed in the job search website she’d frequently visited in the past few days.

  Her phone ringing had her ignoring it. She had no idea how to face anyone. And most of all, she had no idea how she could ever face Margot again. Yes, she had been drunk. But when she’d had more than a few, Margot Hepburn blurted out the truth. They all knew that.

  It had been almost half an hour since she’d left the party. She had been excited for tonight, but instead, it had been one of the most traumatising moments of her life.

  “There are no teaching jobs close by,” Meredith said to Dutch as he lay next to her. Tears continued to run down her cheeks. Her parents had gotten their border collie for her because they thought she was depressed. They had no idea she had been raped.

  Dutch saved her life.

  He became her best friend.

  Her phone rang again, but she refused to look at it.

  “Maybe Margot’s right, Dutch. Maybe I am selfish. Maybe I deserved all of it,” she said in a tiny voice.

  A loud knock on the front door had Dutch lifting his head from her lap.

  Meredith ignored her visitor.

  But the knocks grew louder and harder.

  Sighing, she got off the couch, set her laptop down, and headed for the front door, Dutch trotting next to her. Meredith glanced down at his wagging tail and made a small smile. She had palmed the door handle before she exhaled and then opened the front door, expecting Margot or Phil.

  But she was wrong.

  Dread consumed her.

  Memories of him pinning her against Sam’s Jeep when she was seventeen invaded her thoughts, causing her heart to beat at a panicked rate.

  “Mr-Mr Michaels,” she breathed. She blocked Dutch’s view of Sam’s father by wedging herself in the door’s opening.

  His hands were behind his back. “Meredith, it’s Sam. There’s …” Tears filled his eyes. “There’s been an accident. He’s hurt and …”

  Sam.

  Accident.

  A jolt of heat pierced her chest.

  He’s hurt.

  She was selfish.

  Here she was upset about the past, and the man she loved was hurt.

  Margot’s right.

  That was why she had gotten so many calls from Phil. It was about Sam. At the end of the day, Phil was Margot’s boyfriend; he’d love and support her through anything.

  “What hospital is—”

  “I’ll drive,” Mr Michaels said. “It’s quicker if I do. I know what hospital.”

  Meredith nodded. “Okay. I’ll just grab my phone.”

  “Good idea,” he said.

  “Come on, Dutch,” Meredith said as she rushed back to the lounge and picked up her phone from the coffee table. Then she slid the device into the pocket of her black dress. Meredith ran back to the door, spun around, and bent down to face her whimpering dog. “Sam’s hurt, Dutch. I’ll be back soon, boy. I promise. Love you.”

  When she closed the front door, Mr Michaels stepped aside, and she noticed his Porsche on the kerb. It was one of those luxury medium cars. Not one of the flashy supercars that she’d seen on Top Gear re-runs that she’d mindlessly watch. The lights flashed as Sam’s father unlocked the car. She hurried towards the passenger side and opened the door. She jumped inside and clicked her seat belt into place as Mr Michaels hopped in. But the way he had slid into the car had been off, not fluid. It was almost awkward. He had pressed the ‘Start’ button before he pressed another and the Porsche locked.

  Meredith didn’t think anything of it as she reached into her dress pocket and took out her phone. As Mr Michaels began to drive away from her street, she glanced at all the missed calls she had from Phil. One after the other. He hadn’t left a voicemail or texted.

  Just as she was about to call him back, she heard Mr Michaels rasp, “Meredith.”

  She peeked over at him to see that he had one hand on the wheel, and the other in his lap, holding something towards her.

  Air fled her lungs.

  It was a large knife.

  The point of the blade was directed at her.

  The tension wrapped around them.

  Fear that she had never known caused her to shake, to never take her eyes off the deadly weapon his fingers had curled around.

  “I don’t want to hurt you,” he stated.

  Which her head had translated to, “I will hurt you if I have to. I don’t want to, but I will.”

  Meredith cursed at her stupidity. That was why he had locked her in his car. For the exact reasons, she had no idea.

  Sam.

  Oh, God.

  What if he hurt him?

  “What did you do to Sam?” she demanded.

  Mr Michaels jutted the knife just that little bit. She was sure to show his intent to use it.

  “Do you love him, Meredith?” he asked as he shifted his focus to the road. The knife, however, still threatened her.

  “More than I love myself or could love anyone else,” she answered.

  His lips made a fine line as he tightened his grip on the wheel.

  “Do you think he loves you?”

  His question made her flinch.

  “I know he does.”

  He had peeked over at her for a second before his eyes were back on the road. “I believe you think he does. But if he really loved you, why didn’t he tell you the truth, Meredith?”

  The truth?

  She had thought she knew everything.

  “What?”

  “The fucking truth, Meredith. Do you know the truth?” He slammed his palm against the steering wheel. For a split second, he had no control over the car.

  Mr Michaels accelerated, and Meredith fell back into the seat.

  Her pulse quickened, as did her breathing.
/>   He appeared to be driving on the older streets of Warren Meadows. They had barely any lighting, and it was hard to make out what was out there in the dark. She could only see what the Porsche’s headlights illuminated.

  “I’m guessing I don’t,” she said to calm him.

  This was all about making sure Sam’s father remained calm. He held all the power, not her. He could kill her two ways.

  With either the knife or with his car.

  “You don’t!” he sneered as his hand left the wheel and reached over and snatched her phone from her. It was a messy exchange, and he’d sliced a long cut on the back of her hand.

  Meredith hissed as she watched the blood ooze.

  “What’s your code?” he demanded.

  “Two. Zero. One.” She covered her bleeding hand with her palm. Blood dripped all over her dress. “Zero.”

  Mr Michaels glanced down at her phone and then back at the road. The anger that consumed his face wasn’t one she understood. “Do you love my son?” he asked.

  “I do,” she said, not faltering in her response.

  “You don’t even have any idea what he did.”

  “What did he do?”

  “He took him!” he screamed. “He fucking took him!”

  “Him? I don’t—”

  “He took Josh from me!”

  Meredith squeezed her hand tighter, hoping to get her erratic trembling under control. She understood that Mr Michaels must be hurt that Sam had denied him visitation and a relationship with Josh, but she understood why. She had met him once when he had violently pinned her against Sam’s car and threatened her. He had no idea that his attack on her had caused her to have a psychological break.

  He had made her relive the terror of her rape.

  She wouldn’t let her child near him either.

  “Mr Michaels, I’m sure if you speak to Sam, he’d let you see your grand—”

  He glanced over at her. “Josh is my fucking son!”

  Meredith blinked.

  Sam wasn’t Josh’s biological dad.

  They were half-brothers.

  That was the big secret.

  The man Beth had cheated on Sam with had been Bruce Michaels.

  Nausea swept through her.

  She wasn’t sure if she was going to pass out or throw up.

  His breathing heaved as if he were holding back his rage. “Do you still love Sam now?”

  Meredith was afraid of how he’d react to her answer, but she wouldn’t hesitate—never again would she hesitate when it came to her feelings towards Samuel Michaels.

  “Yes,” she said confidently.

  It was the truth.

  The revelation only made her love him more.

  He’d stepped in and became a father when he should have been a brother.

  “Why?” He sounded disgusted and curious all at the same time. Mr Michaels hadn’t indicated when he had turned right. It was a sharp turn that had made Meredith’s hand slip, giving her a perfect view of just how deep he’d cut her. Blood had completely soaked through the material of her dress and puddled on her thighs.

  “Because he took responsibility. He raised your son as his own. I’ve seen it. He loves Josh. He would do whatever it takes to keep him safe. And it meant keeping you away from him …” It now all made sense to her. “It meant keeping me away to protect him.”

  Lights caught her attention as the car slowed down. She felt the Porsche go over bumps and then it came to a stop.

  Her chest heaved as her fears increased.

  He’d stopped the car on the train tracks.

  “Oh, my God,” she breathed as her bloodied hands worked at getting her belt off.

  “STOP!” he ordered. Then he twisted to face her, holding her phone between them. “He took away my son, Meredith. He won’t let me meet him. I’m his father. Not Sam. I’m Josh’s father. And I’m sorry, but he needs to know how much this hurts me.” He paused. His menacing eyes bore into hers. “I have to make you go away, Meredith.”

  Then he took the knife and pressed it into her left arm.

  She felt it begin to pierce through her skin. She had expected it to hurt, but she was sure adrenaline was coursing through her veins because she felt nothing.

  “You’re gonna kill me?” she asked in a tiny voice.

  Hurt her was one thing.

  But kill her?

  He nodded, and a sob formed in her chest. Tears now welled, stinging her eyes. Mr Michaels’ eyes sparkled in vengeance.

  He was going to take her life.

  She’d never see Sam again.

  Or Dutch.

  Or Margot.

  She’d never see her best friend and tell her how sorry she was.

  Or Phil.

  Not even her loving parents who had no idea what she’d battled.

  Or even Josh.

  “Say goodbye, Meredith. You have a few minutes,” he instructed and pulled the knife from her arm.

  She heard the sound of a dial tone, and she glanced down to see Sam’s name on the screen. Mr Michaels pressed his thumb on the speakerphone and activated it. He then set it in the small compartment between the seats. The rings filled the car as he grasped her wrist, keeping her in place.

  Then Sam’s voice echoed. “You’ve reached Samuel Michaels. Please leave a message after the beep.”

  Beep.

  Meredith sighed in relief. She didn’t look anywhere but his name. If he was going to kill her, then she was glad that Sam didn’t hear it live. Tears now blurred her vision.

  “Hey, it’s me. Meredith. I’m so happy that I got your voicemail right now.” A sob escaped her, and the fingers around her wrist tightened, causing her to flinch. “I just wanted to say that I’m sorry I doubted you all these years. I know the truth, Sam. I understand. You might not understand what has happened but just know that I love you. And if I just got the last week with you, I would trade my life for it every time. You’re a great father, Sam. You chose right.” She inhaled sharply. “I loved you. I love you. I have always loved you. I want you to know that all the seconds, minutes, and hours … all the upcoming days, months, and years that I should have lived, I would have lived loving you even more.”

  Then she went quiet, letting it record her silence.

  She summoned up the courage to say her last words. “No matter what has happened to us, listen to me. Listen to me say this as if it’s the first time and that we have time to start all over again. Think of this as the first time and not the last. I love you, Samuel Michaels.” Then her bloody finger pressed the ‘End’ button and hoped that it had recorded it all.

  Her last message recorded her love and goodbye.

  A click caught her attention. He’d unbuckled her belt.

  Mr Michaels yanked on her arm and pulled her across the car. Her knees and shins banged against the brake handle. She should have felt the agony from the rough contact, but she didn’t. Her body no longer her own. Meredith’s eyes took in her surroundings. It was pitch black. The railway station had only just started to close during the nights for renovations. Trains still used the line to get to the other stations, but they never stopped.

  Before she knew it, she was on her feet, and he pushed her to walk several steps away from the car and to the middle of the track. The knife was now close to her stomach, and his fingers still dug into her wrist. He was a lot bigger than she was. There was no way she could outmuscle him for the weapon or escape.

  “You gone will hurt him. It means I’ll get Josh,” he stated as if he were justifying his actions. “You were always his weakness. I knew it when I first met you. When I heard you were back, I knew that you were what I needed to convince him.”

  “Even with me gone, you won’t get Josh. Sam will never let you have him.”

  Slowly, the tip
of the knife entered her stomach.

  This time, she felt it.

  Felt the searing heat and pain exploded inside her.

  He hadn’t dug it all the way.

  Just a fraction.

  Then she heard the warning bells. The bright red flashing lights caught her attention and distracted her from the fact that he’d thrust the knife into her. The booming gates crashed down as the siren of a train screeched her ears.

  From the corner of her eye, she saw its lights racing towards them.

  Mr Michaels took a step back but didn’t let her go.

  The light became brighter, bigger and closer as she closed her eyes and whispered, “I love you, Sam.”

  chapter thirty-seven

  SAM

  Seven years ago

  “Stop bouncing your damn knee,” Phil scolded.

  Sam’s leg froze.

  He hadn’t realised he’d been doing it.

  Just like Phil, Sam was nervous about his first exam. The most important exam of all. One that every student took.

  The English exam.

  “What if I forget something stupid, like, my bloody name?” Phil asked, the panic wrapped in his voice.

  Sam let out a laugh. “Then how’d the hell did you graduate from high school?”

  “I’m just saying. Oh, fuck, how do I write an essay?”

  “Phil, calm down. You’re going to be fine.”

  “Easy for you to say,” Phil dismissed. “You get perfect marks on exams. I’ve been studying with Margot, and she just gets everything! I sit there feeling like the biggest dumbass in the world.”

  He shook his head. Phil always stressed when it came to assessments and exams. “I’ll give you a minute to settle down. I can’t believe we got here at eight a.m. just to cram! I’m going to my locker. Pretty sure my mum packed some apples for good luck or something. I’ll go get them.” He jumped off the table he had sat on.

  Phil peeked up from his English book and nodded. “Yes. We need them. We need everything!”

  Sam saluted Phil as he walked over to the door and pulled on it. He stepped out of the portable building and then went down the short wooden steps. Long strides had him at the door of the main building in seconds. Sam wrapped his fingers around the steel handle and pulled the door. Before it had shut on him, he slipped into C-block and made his way towards the locker bay.