A Gift of Grace

by Amy Clipston

  “My mom and dad on their wedding day.” Jessica rose, dropping her iPod on the bed.

  Rebecca smiled. The girls were at least talking. Wunderbar! She slowly backed out of the room, leaving the girls to get to know each other. While heading down the hall, she said a prayer that Katie would break down the wall Jessica had built around her heart the day her parents died.

  Jessica watched Katie stand by the dresser and examine her parents’ wedding portrait. Clad in the same Plain garb as Rebecca, Katie was the opposite of Jessica, who wore her favorite low-rider jeans and two form-fitting T-shirts, one over the other. How on earth did Rebecca expect these two opposites to get along? What could they possibly find to talk about besides the weather?

  “You look just like your mamm,” Katie said.

  Jessica fingered her mother’s wedding ring hanging from the chain around her neck. “Thanks,” she whispered.

  “It’s true.” Katie met her gaze and smiled. “Your mamm is Rebecca’s sister?”

  “Yeah.” Jessica sank onto the edge of the bed. “Her older sister.”

  Katie turned back to the photograph. “I see it. They have the same eyes and the same smile. Very beautiful.”

  Thoughts of her mother flooded Jessica, causing a lump to swell in her throat. She cleared her throat, hoping to suppress threatening tears.

  “I heard your parents died in an accident,” Katie said. “I’m so very sorry. I can’t imagine the sadness you and your sister have endured by losing both of your parents.”

  The girl’s voice was soft and full of compassion, wrenching something deep in Jessica’s soul. Knowing she would dissolve in tears, she didn’t want to discuss her parents and relive the memories of the night they died. Therefore, she needed to find a way to change the subject quickly.

  “So, you’re fifteen?” Jessica asked, her voice wavering with the remnants of the guilt brought on by the memories.

  “Ya.” Katie fingered the ties of her prayer Kapp.

  Jessica leaned back against the headboard. “Rebecca said kids here don’t go to school beyond age fourteen. What do you do all day?” She patted the edge of the bed, and Katie lowered herself onto it.

  “Oh, I stay busy.” Katie nodded with emphasis. “My dat runs our dairy farm, and there’s plenty to do. I help my mamm tend to my five younger siblings, and I also help make quilts, which we sell at the market.”

  “Five younger siblings?” Jessica shook her head in disbelief. “Wow. I thought one younger sister was a lot.”

  “I’m the second oldest to my brother Samuel. Most families have between six and ten children.”

  “Ten?” Jessica gasped. “That’s incredible.”

  Katie shrugged. “It’s our way I guess. And what did you do before you came here? You went to school?”

  “Yeah. I was a sophomore in high school.” Jessica sighed. “I wanted to graduate with my class in two years and then go to college.” She frowned. “But now I can’t. I’m going to work in Daniel’s furniture store as the bookkeeper.”

  “That’s not so bad.” Katie frowned in response. “It’s better than being stuck at home doing laundry and taking care of kids. I love my family, of course, but sometimes I wish I could do some work outside the house.”

  Jessica nodded. She hadn’t thought about it that way. It could be worse.

  She studied Katie’s pretty face. Her skin was flawless. Jessica would bet Katie would be photogenic. She’d love to fish out her makeup bag from the remaining unpacked boxes and experiment with colors to bring our Katie’s gorgeous blue eyes.

  Jessica pointed toward Katie. “You’d look fantastic with a little eyeliner and lipstick.”

  Katie blushed. “Oh, we’re not allowed to wear makeup. Vanity is a sin.”

  “It’s a shame. You have a fabulous complexion.”

  “Danki.” Katie’s gaze found the iPod. “What’s that?”

  “It’s called an iPod.” Jessica picked it up. “Kids use it to listen to music.”

  “Oh. Music is forbidden too. We only sing hymns, but no instruments are allowed at all.” Katie bit her lip as if debating if she should touch it.

  Even music is forbidden? Grimacing, Jessica wondered how on earth these kids put up with all of the rules. Their lives must’ve felt like a prison sentence. Jessica glanced at the quiet, formal girl sitting in front of her on the bed. Katie looked like she needed some fun. She doubted any harm could come from listening to a few rock songs on the iPod.

  She glanced up to the door, and a smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.

  “The door is closed.” Jessica held the iPod out to Katie. “I won’t tell if you don’t.”

  A slow smile turned up the corners on Katie’s lips. She took the small device from her. “How does it work?”

  [Return to Table of Contents]

  Sitting at the kitchen table, Rebecca chuckled while Beth Anne recounted a story of a funny English customer at the bakery who wanted to know how to get the papers on the cupcakes after baking them.

  Rebecca glanced around at her sisters-in-law and mother-in-law and couldn’t help but think how lucky she was to be a member of the Kauffman family. It was the only stable family she’d ever known. Sometimes she wondered what it would’ve been like if Grace had stayed and married a man in their community. Would she also have been present at the frequent Kauffman family gatherings?

  Rebecca’s thoughts turned to Grace and their last visit together. It had been more than ten years ago when their father had passed away. He was their only living parent, since their mother had died after a long, terrible battle with cancer when Rebecca was eight and Grace was eleven. Dat had never remarried, leaving Grace and Rebecca to grow up without a mother to guide them. He did the best he could fulfilling both roles.

  After her Rumspringa, when Grace decided she couldn’t stay in the church, Dat disowned her. It had broken Rebecca’s heart to see her older sister, her best friend, pack up and leave Lancaster County to pursue a life with her English boyfriend, Philip Bedford, whom Grace had met while he was in town on a business trip.

  Since she didn’t have a phone, Rebecca tried to keep in contact with her sister through letters. After she married Daniel and began working in his mother’s bakery, she occasionally received calls from Grace on the bakery phone. Although she longed to visit Grace over the years, she never did. Now she regretted it with all her heart. She had missed so much!

  Rebecca stared down at her glass of tea while contemplating her sister. Because her father refused to talk to her, Grace never came back to Lancaster County until she and Rebecca buried him. Their last meeting was such a sorrowful one, but they did continue to keep up with letters and infrequent calls after the funeral.

  Rebecca took a long drink of tea. She wished Dat hadn’t shunned Grace. She knew it had broken her sister’s heart. However, their father was a stubborn man who would never change his mind after he’d made a decision. To him, Grace was dead, and he only had one daughter.

  Rebecca always loved her father, but she lost respect for him after the way he’d treated Grace. She was thankful when the Kauffmans welcomed her with open arms. With them, she felt like more than an in-law; she felt like a blood relative.

  As she lifted the glass to her lips again, an idea flashed through Rebecca’s mind. Maybe Grace had left the girls to Rebecca because she’d always known that the Kauffmans would accept her girls as they had accepted Rebecca. Perhaps Grace knew the girls would be loved unconditionally in Rebecca’s home and that Rebecca remembered what it was like to lose their mother at a young age. Her heart warmed at the thoughts.

  So engrossed in her thoughts of Grace, Rebecca was startled when the back door opened and slammed against the house. Robert appeared, followed by five of his children. From his frown, Rebecca could tell he was unhappy. She idly wondered if he and Daniel had exchanged tense words yet again. It seemed the brothers were always disagreeing these days. Robert felt Daniel was too eager to make allowances and em
brace the Englishers that lived nearby.

  Robert’s gaze met his wife’s, and Sadie stood like a shot. “It’s time to go home,” he said.

  “Ya.” Sadie nodded. She turned to Rebecca. “Have you seen Katie?”

  “I took her up to meet my niece about an hour ago. Did you want me to check on her?” Rebecca asked.

  “Nee.” Sadie patted Rebecca’s arm. “I’ll go.”

  “Mamm!” Gretchen, Sadie’s youngest at age two, moaned and then started to sob.

  Sadie hoisted Gretchen onto her lap and whispered in her ear. She gazed at Robert who started toward the door.

  “I’ll get Katie,” he muttered. “You start loading up the kinner.”

  Rebecca touched her sister-in-law’s arm. “I’ll help you.”

  “Danki,” Sadie said with a smile.

  Katie grinned and swayed back and forth in time to the music singing through the iPod ear buds. The ties to her prayer Kapp bounced along with her. “This music is really wunderbar.”

  Jessica grinned. “I’m so glad you like it.”

  “What’s the name of this musical group again?”

  “Puddle of Mudd.” Jessica leaned back against the headboard. “I love alternative rock, and they’re one of my favorite bands.”

  Katie tilted her head in question. “Alternative rock?”

  “It’s a type of rock music. It’s kinda difficult to explain.” Jessica popped up and crossed the room to her laptop sitting on her dresser. She carried the laptop back to the bed and lowered herself onto the edge. “There are different kinds of rock music.”

  “Oh.” Katie nodded, but her eyes glittered with confusion.

  Flipping the laptop open, Jessica hit the Power button. She knew it wouldn’t be long before she’d have to figure out how to charge that too. “I’ll show you this awesome website that explains the different kinds of—” She stopped speaking and laughed.

  “What?”

  “I just remembered.” Jessica gave a sweeping gesture with her arms. “I don’t have Internet access here. I’m in an Amish home.”

  “Ya. That would make it difficult.” Katie touched her arm, and they laughed together.

  Jessica’s eyes widened in surprise at Katie’s openness and welcome. For the first time since arriving in Lancaster, Jessica felt as if she had a friend.

  The bedroom door suddenly whooshed open and slammed against the wall.

  “Katie,” a gruff voice enunciated the name.

  Jessica glanced over to see a tall man bearing the same blue eyes, blond hair, and beard as Daniel. She deduced this was Daniel’s older brother Robert glowering in the doorway. He scanned the room, his glare focusing on the iPod and then the laptop. The stern look of his eyes sent a chill skittering up Jessica’s spine.

  Katie gave a soft gasp, stood up straight, and smoothed her apron and dress. “Dat, I—”

  Interrupting, he said something to her in Pennsylvania Dutch, and Katie dropped the iPod onto the bed and hurried out the door. She gave Jessica an apologetic expression before bolting down the hallway.

  Jessica sighed and contemplated how sad it was to see Katie run off like a misbehaving child. She wondered what Katie could’ve possibly done to be treated this way.

  A frown formed on Jessica’s lips. It seemed that Katie should’ve at least had a chance to say good-bye to Jessica. Jumping up, she started for the door, determined to say good-bye to Katie whether that man liked it or not.

  Jessica reached the bottom of the stairs and found Katie standing silently next to her stoic father while he spoke to Daniel in Pennsylvania Dutch. Daniel’s expression was stony as he listened.

  “Katie,” Jessica called.

  Katie looked over at her, and her eyes widened in surprise. She shook her head as if to tell Jessica not to speak. Her gaze moved to her father, and her expression became stony.

  Jessica’s mouth gaped. What on earth could Katie have done to make her father so angry? The whole scene seemed ridiculous. Although she longed to say good-bye to Katie, Jessica bit her lip. She worried that speaking to Katie might make the situation worse, even though she wasn’t sure exactly why the situation was bad already.

  Robert continued to speak in Pennsylvania Dutch and then turned to go. Jessica stepped forward and reached for Katie’s arm.

  “Jessica,” Daniel said, the word soft but deliberate.

  She pulled her hand back and cut a sideways glance to him. His expression was blank, but she got the feeling he was silently scolding her. She shook her head in disbelief, wondering if she’d ever understand this culture. She turned to head upstairs and slammed into a young man who looked a couple of years older than she was. He was handsome with his hair and eyes mirroring the rest of the Kauffman family.

  “I’m sorry.” She stepped to the side. “I didn’t see you coming toward me.”

  “My fault. In a rush.” He smiled, revealing a dimple in his right cheek. He cut his eyes to something behind her, and his smile faded. “Pardon me,” he muttered, heading for the door.

  Studying the handsome man, Jessica wondered if he was a member of Katie’s family. When she looked toward the door, she found Robert staring at her, and she got her answer—the young man had to be the older brother Katie had mentioned upstairs.

  Too bad she didn’t have a chance to introduce herself to him. It would’ve been nice to know who he was. Instead, he was rushed out the door, and Jessica was treated like an outsider. She absently wondered if that was why her mother had left the community. Had she felt like an outsider in her own home? Jessica shuddered at the thought.

  Shaking her head, Jessica trotted upstairs. What a strange family. Trisha has to find a way to get us out of here.

  Rebecca yawned while pulling her nightgown over her head. The evening had flown by, yet she felt as if she’d plowed the back field. She climbed into the bed, snuggling down under the quilt.

  Daniel stepped into the room and sighed while pulling off his shirt. “It was a long evening.”

  Rebecca sat up. “I was just thinking the same thing. The gathering was nice, no?”

  “Ya.” His tone betrayed the word.

  “Is something wrong?” she asked.

  He frowned, and her heart sank. She had the sneaking suspicion Robert had said something to upset her husband. She wished the brothers would work out their differences once and for all for the sake of the family.

  “What is it?” she asked softly.

  “It seems Jessica was giving worldly ideas to Katie tonight.” He scowled while walking to the bed.

  “Worldly ideas? What do you mean?”

  “Robert found them listening to music, and Jessica was showing Katie her computer. He was not happy, to say the very least.”

  Rebecca blew out a sigh. She’d hoped introducing Katie to Jessica would simply foster a friendship, not cause a family problem.

  “Robert doesn’t want Jessica near his kinner,” Daniel said. “He said he won’t permit Jessica to impose her worldly views on his family.”

  Rebecca grimaced at the ridiculous statement. “It sounds like Robert is blowing it out of proportion. I’m sure she wasn’t imposing anything on Katie. Jessica is a good girl.”

  Daniel sat on the edge of the bed. “I know she’s a good girl, but keep in mind what I said about guidance. We need to remind her of our rules.”

  “Of course she needs our guidance, but she just lost her parents. I remember when my mamm died. Grace and I were completely devastated. I didn’t know how I’d make it through a day without her.” She touched his warm hand. “We need to give her a little bit of leeway and patience.”

  “I’m not sure everyone else would agree with you on that,” he said, holding her hand. “Robert is always looking for something to argue about, and he won’t give her the benefit of the doubt. We need to make her accountable for her actions and not make excuses. She’s almost sixteen. She’s been disrespectful to you, and she needs boundaries.”

  “She need
s to respect us, but it won’t happen overnight.” Rebecca shook her head. “You’re expecting too much of her in less than a week. The girls only just arrived, and they’re still getting accustomed to us. Jessica is disrespectful because she’s scared. Grace and I felt lost and alone after our mamm died, and we still had our dat. These girls lost both of their parents at once. I can’t imagine how much that must hurt. They’re orphans, Daniel. Think about that for a moment.”

  “I understand what you’re saying,” he began, his eyes studying hers with an intensity that caused her nerves to stand on end. “But we need to keep reminding her that her actions have consequences. We have one family gathering in our home, and Jessica brings out her electronic devices and already causes problems between my brother and me. I have enough issues with Robert without her meddling. Robert has always been jealous of me for working with Dat in the shop while he was forced to take over Sadie’s parents’ farm. I don’t need our nieces making this delicate situation worse. Robert wouldn’t think twice about reporting Jessica’s behavior to the bishop.”

  Rebecca felt her expression soften. He was taking the blame for something that wasn’t his fault, and she wished she could make him see that. “Daniel, you’ve done nothing wrong. Jessica isn’t baptized into the church, so the bishop has no authority over her.”

  “You know it’s more complicated than that.” He raked a hand through his hair with frustration. “The bishop has power over me and our household.”

  A pang of discouragement nipped at her. She knew Daniel was right. The situation was more involved than she’d imagined when she brought the girls to the farm. She only wanted to help her nieces adjust to this new life; she didn’t want to have to fight for their acceptance in the community.

  “Mei Fraa,” Daniel said, running his finger gently down her cheek, a gesture that always warmed her soul. “Becky, I only want what’s best for this household. You know that.”

  “You need to realize the position I’m in,” she said softly, pleading for his support. “Grace wanted the girls to be with me, and I have to respect her wishes. Her letter said she wanted her daughters to experience her heritage.”