by Monica James
She’s barely wearing any makeup, but she doesn’t need it; her natural beauty makes her the most beautiful girl in the world.
But my illusion shatters in an instant when my gaze falls down to the hand, still clutching her bicep tightly. Is this Alex? Her betrothed? The thought has me raising my eyes and matching his heated stare.
Nothing is better than seeing your ex…with someone more unsightly than you. Alex is way too feminine-looking for Maddy. She needs a real man. She needs me. Not to mention he’s short, and his face looks like it’s gone a round or two with a frying pan.
“Dixon.”
Her voice, her angelic voice brings back so many memories, but I suck it up and look at the reason why I’m here. “Madison.”
Nothing exists but us, just the way it should be. So much has changed, yet when I look into those big green eyes, I know that a lot has remained the same. She feels it. I feel it. The charged electrical current is still as strong as it was the day we first met.
But what does that mean?
I need to know.
A big, obnoxious hand comes into my line of sight, ruining my high instantly. “Hi, I’m A—” I cut off the fuckstick and focus my attention on Maddy.
“Can we talk?”
She blinks. “Now?”
I nod. When she appears torn, I add, “Please.”
A the Asshole decides to intervene. “The ceremony is about to start, Maddy. We have to take our places.”
If looks could kill, A would be dead and buried where he stands.
Maddy agrees with him, which makes me even madder. “He’s right, Dixon. I have to go inside and get ready.”
No, this isn’t how it’s supposed to be. I won’t take no for an answer, and she knows it. “Madison—”
“Okay, five minutes.” She waves her hands, telling me to shut up.
I internally celebrate.
Before she has time to rethink her decision, I step forward and latch onto her bicep. I can feel her skin, actually feel her skin prickle the moment I touch her. I smugly look up at A, telling him to suck it. She’s not impressed by our pissing contest, however, and lightly removes her arm from my grip before walking off.
I’m like a fucking puppy dog and I follow, unconcerned where we’re going. She walks past the room where I originally thought she would be and stops when we round the corner. It’s just open beach, but the seaside is ours.
She leans against the brick wall, folding her arms across her chest. “Four minutes.”
Four minutes?
How do I sum up everything I want to say in four measly minutes?
“Three and a half.”
Shit.
“How are you?” I cringe and run a hand down my face. I’m wasting precious time with this dribble. Grow some balls, Dixon, and tell her how you feel. “Why did you invite me?” I blurt out.
She shrugs. “I thought you’d want to be here.”
“You didn’t think that would be a touch awkward?”
“Of course I did. But I thought we could put our differences aside for one day.”
“One day? And what about tomorrow? Am I just supposed to pretend today never happened?” I ask, spreading my arms out wide. I’m suddenly getting angry, which is what I wanted to avoid.
She lowers her eyes. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have invited you. This is just uncomfortable for everyone.”
“Damn straight it is. Were you expecting it to be anything else?”
Meeting my heated gaze, she shakes her head. “I’d hoped we could have moved on.”
“Moved on to what, Madison?”
She gasps, her arms slipping from their hold. “I don’t know.”
This conversational ping-pong is growing old. And my time is almost up. “You’re the one who left me, remember? You’re the one who told me to stay away. But then you invite me to this wedding, expecting me to be okay. How can I be?”
She bites onto her bottom lip, attempting to stop her tears. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think. I thought…I wanted…”
“You wanted what?” I ask, stepping forward as she takes a step back.
“I-I…” Her chest begins to rise. “I thought I would be okay with this, but I’m not.”
“What aren’t you okay about?” I take another step forward while she bumps into the wall behind her.
Now that she’s imprisoned, I have no intention of letting her go. I cage her with my arms, placing both my palms on either side of her head as she arches into the brick wall. Her warm, quick breaths lick my cheeks, and I close my eyes, inhaling her.
“Tell me, Maddy,” I demand in a whisper, my eyes sealed shut.
“I thought that after all this time apart, things would be different. But…they’re not.” Her confession dances with sorrow but also relief.
I knew she felt it, too. But the question is, what are we going to do about it?
Fuck being coy, I need her to know how I feel. I need her to know that no matter what, she’ll always be my girl.
“Madison…” Slowly opening my eyes, I drown in her. “Angelo…” I correct, pressing our foreheads together, our lips inches apart. “I still lo—”
“Maddy?”
That motherfucker.
Just like that, our moment is shattered. Maddy guiltily turns to look at the Asshole, gasping when she realizes how close we’ve grown. She gently pushes me away, but I stand my ground.
“Let her go.” I’m seconds away from snapping this bastard’s neck.
When I push off the wall angrily, Maddy latches onto my arm. “Don’t!”
“Don’t what?” I shout, pulling out from her clasp. “I can’t believe you actually like this moron!”
“Moron? Excuse me, I’ll have you know I’m a fully qualified nurse,” Asshole retorts smugly. Is his comment meant to prove his smartness? Because from where I stand, that just cements that Maddy belongs with me.
“A nurse?” I can’t stop the sarcastic laugh which thunders from my chest. “He’s a male nurse, for Christ’s sake, Madison!”
Asshole steps forward, Madison ducks in between while I’m still cackling over the fact he just called himself a nurse. I know I’m being incredibly judgmental, considering I know a lot of intelligent male nurses, but they aren’t trying to marry the love of my life.
“You’re still a conceited bastard, I see,” she snaps, glaring at me.
“And you’re still a little girl playing games,” I rejoin, sick of this bullshit. Her mouth hinges open in shock and I see her palm twitch.
But what does she expect? She was seconds away from kissing me. Or at least confessing that she still feels something for me. Now her walls have been resurrected and she’s defending her male nurse fiancé.
She flies forward, pushing me in the chest. “You know what—” Her sentence is cut short when the air fills with a soft, gentle melody—a total contradiction to what was filling the air moments ago.
“What?” I challenge.
But she bites back her anger. “Forget it. I have someplace I have to be.”
I can’t believe she’s actually going through with this. Do I not mean anything to her after all?
“You’re really doing this?”
Her gaze never wavers when she replies, “Yes.” Asshole smugly smiles, gently placing his arm on her shoulder.
I don’t even know what to say. My heart is splitting into two for the hundredth time today. How can I fight for someone who doesn’t want to be fought for? She’s chosen who she wants, and it’s not me. This wasn’t part of the plan, but that serves me right for not thinking it through.
“I’ll see you out there,” she has the gall to say.
I don’t even bother responding.
She leaves with the Neanderthal trailing close behind, asking if she’s okay.
Well, if that wasn’t completely fucked up, then I don’t know what it was. This entire thing has just backfired and I don’t know what to do. I need to hit something, but the only thing aro
und me is a brick wall and sand.
Too many emotions are plaguing my head. I love her, no, I hate her. I miss her. I’m better off without her. I cradle my head in my palms and let out a strangled, frustrated cry.
“Dix?”
“I need a scotch,” I say from between my hands.
“What happened?” Hunter asks, his footsteps swishing in the sand.
“What happened is that this was a total waste of time. She’s marrying that dickhead. And to make matters worse, he’s a fucking nurse!”
I look up to meet the concerned eyes of my friend. “It’s not a waste of time. Go talk to her.”
“I have talked to her. It made no difference. Actually, I’m pretty sure it made things worse. Let’s just go.”
I attempt to push past him, but he stands solid. “So that’s it? You’ve giving up?”
“I’m not sure if you heard me correctly but she’s marrying the nurse.”
“Were you really expecting shit to be easy? I mean, when have things between Madison and you ever been easy?” he asks, lifting a challenging brow.
“This is impossible,” I correct, stubbornly.
“Nothing is impossible. You know that. You’re proof of that. I thought it was impossible for you to ever settle down after Lily. But you did. You found someone better because you found yourself in her. Don’t let that pass you by, you stubborn fuck.” He lightly punches me on the arm, while I stare at my best friend, wondering what the fuck just happened to him.
“What do you propose I do then, huh? Walk down the aisle and proclaim my undying love for her?” I ask, jokingly.
Hunter’s stern face and stance reveals that’s exactly what he expects me to do. “What have you got to lose?” he asks, shrugging.
“My dignity,” I quickly counter.
He moves his lips from side to side. “That’s where you’re wrong. You do this and you’re taking it back.”
As the music gets louder and louder, I know that Madison is seconds away from making the biggest mistake of her life.
I’ve traveled over one hundred miles to see her, and I haven’t even told her everything I came here to say. Until I have, until I really try, then I can’t give up. I saw it in her eyes. I felt it on her skin. I heard it in her breathless whispers. She still loves me.
And I’m not leaving until she tells me otherwise.
My father didn’t raise a coward. And my mother didn’t raise a bastard. They taught me to fight for what I want, and I want…I’ve always wanted Madison Roberts.
“That’s my boy.” Hunter grins, slapping me on the back as I stampede past him and sprint around the corner.
The moment I see Madison is halfway down the aisle, my senses kick in and I run like I am Marion Jones, juiced up on her daily fix. I don’t care that a hundred sets of eyes are on me as I sprint toward the red carpet. All I care about is…
“Madison!” I stop running, suddenly terrified to take another step.
She comes to an abrupt stop, her bare feet digging into the carpet. She slowly looks around at the bewildered crowd, knowing that she indeed heard what she thought she did.
Turn around, I silently will her.
And she does.
She spins around gradually, as we both know what will happen when she does. Her eyes meet mine, a look of confusion, anger, and a hint of relief speckled in their depths. “Dixon…what?”
But I don’t allow her to finish. She’s done enough talking, and now, it’s my turn. I’m about to tell the entire world something I should have done the moment she left me.
“I object!”
37
The Best Kind of Stupid
DIXON
Love makes you do stupid things. I should know. I’ve participated in my fair share of stupidity over the years, but stopping Maddy from walking down that aisle isn’t one of them. This is the best kind of stupid.
The curious guests turn to look at one another, hushed whispers filling the air, asking exactly what I object to. But Maddy and I never break our connection because she knows shit is about to get real.
“Dixon…”
I storm forward, not allowing her to say a single word. “It’s my turn to talk.” She doesn’t argue.
“Madison, I—” The pianist is still playing loudly, drowning out my confession. I turn to her. “Can it, sister!” The last note sounds like a strangled cry for help.
We have everyone’s attention, but I don’t care. I’m not ashamed of how I feel. “Madison, I’m sorry. I think I’ll forever be saying sorry because I’m not perfect. I know I’m impulsive, stubborn, impatient, and most of the time, insanely jealous. But I’m also loyal, faithful, and completely and utterly…in love with you.”
The guests gasp while Maddy’s eyes dampen.
“I can’t guarantee that I won’t fuck up again, but I can guarantee that I’ll love, honor, and cherish you for the rest of my life. These past nine months have been hell, but I’m glad they happened. I’ve finally become the man I’ve always wanted to be, and that’s because of you.”
Unfastening my bow tie and opening up the top button of my shirt, I reach inside and yank out my chain. “I’ve found the journey I want to be on. And that’s the journey with you. I want you to know that I will always be your home. No matter how far you roam, I’ll always be here, waiting for you to come home,” I conclude, reciting the same words I said to her in Rome.
She covers her mouth, muting her cries, but the stream of tears betrays her anguish. I can only hope they are happy tears.
For some unknown reason, Hunter chooses this moment to intervene. “Ah, Dix. Can I have a word?”
Seriously? He wants to talk now? I ignore him, my eyes never leaving Maddy’s. “I love you, Madison. I never stopped. Therefore, I can’t stand by and let you make the biggest mistake of your life.”
She wipes her eyes, sniffing. “Mistake?”
“Yes. I can’t—”
“Dude, seriously, we need to talk.”
“Not now, Hunter!” I snap, spinning on my heel to look at him. “I need to tell Madison she can’t go through with this.”
“Well, that’s what I need to talk to you about,” he quickly rebukes. I stupidly ignore him once again.
“Go through with what?” Madison asks.
When I turn back around to look at her, I see that she’s stopped crying. She now appears utterly confused.
“With this,” I clarify, sweeping my hand out in front of me.
“Dixon! For fuck’s sake!” Hunter presses, storming around me and standing near Madison. “Shut up.”
I glare at him. What’s the matter with him? “No, I won’t shut up. This is the reason why we’re here. I can’t allow Madison to marry that asshole!”
Madison pulls back, curling her lip. “What asshole? What are you talking about?”
Hunter slaps his forehead, shaking his head.
You’d think his reaction would alert me to the fact that something isn’t right and shut me up. It doesn’t. “I’m here to stop your wedding to Alex. I object to you marrying anyone but me!” There, I said it, and it felt damn good.
However, my high soon fades when Madison looks at me like I’ve gone insane. And when it appears everyone else is looking at me in the same manner, I know I’ve missed the memo.
Maddy blinks. “You object? What?” She pauses, processing what I just stupidly revealed. “Dixon…” A hint of a smirk pulls at her lips a moment later. “I’m…not getting married.”
I arch my brow. “You’re not?” She shakes her head.
My speech worked. Boom!
Or not.
“No. I never was.”
My brain short-circuits. “You never…wait, hold up, what?” I hold up my finger, needing a minute.
“Whose wedding do you think this is?”
I scratch my head while looking over at Hunter. He waves me off, indicating I’m alone on this one. He takes a seat, getting comfy.
I take a stab in t
he dark. “Yours and the male nurse’s?”
She laughs in disbelief. “Ashley?”
“Who the fuck is Ashley?” I sharply retort, as she surely cannot have another beau on the side.
“Ashley is my friend, and a work colleague. He’s also an ex-pupil of Dr. Wellington,” she explains clearly.
A friend? The way he was pawing her indicates he’s more than a friend. And what’s Max got to do with this? I’m so confused.
However, as I peer around, I see there are a lot of old people here. There are also a lot of my colleagues. Mine and Max’s colleagues.
…Fuck.
As I desperately look over at Hunter for a little help, he sharply holds up the wedding program, which displays a picture of Max and Aiko. He taps the writing underneath their picture. The cursive font says, “We Still Do.” It takes me all of two seconds to realize what’s going on. When I do, Hunter throws the program up into the air, thankful I’ve finally caught on.
Although I think I know what’s going on, I need to ensure I’m on the right page. “So you’re not marrying Alex?”
Madison shakes her head.
“But the invite said Madison and Alex.”
“Did you open it?”
I scratch the back of my neck. “Well, no.”
“Open it.”
“I…can’t. It’s sitting at the bottom on the Hudson,” I explain sheepishly.
She lets out a small chuckle. “Alex, can you please wave?”
On her call, a familiar brunette, who is standing by the celebrant, waves.
“Hi, Alex,” Maddy says, waving over her shoulder.
“That’s Alex?” I ask, my mouth agape.
“Yes, I believe you met her in Boston. I also believe you flirted with her.” She cocks her head to the side, challenging me to argue.
“That doesn’t sound like something I’d do,” I reply, tongue in cheek.
