The Tinted Venus: A Farcical Romance

by F. Anstey

  PLEASURE IN PURSUIT

  II.

  "And you, great sculptor, so you gave A score of years to Art, her slave, And that's your Venus, whence we turn To yonder girl----"

  Another waltz had just begun as they re-entered the Baronial Hall, andAda glanced up at her companion from her daring brown eyes. "What wouldyou say if I told you you might have this dance with me?" she inquired.

  The hairdresser hesitated for just one moment. He had meant to leave herthere and go back for his ring; but the waltz they were playing was avery enticing one. Ada was looking uncommonly pretty just then; he couldget the ring equally well a few minutes later.

  "I should take it very kind of you," he said, gratefully, at length.

  "Ask for it, then," said Ada; and he did ask for it.

  He forgot Matilda and his engagement for the moment; he sacrificed allhis scruples about dancing in public; but he somehow failed to enjoythis pleasure, illicit though it was.

  For one thing, he could not long keep Matilda out of his thoughts. Hewas doing nothing positively wrong; still, it was undeniable that shewould not approve of his being there at all, still less if she knewthat the gold ring given to him by his aunt for the purposes of hisbetrothal had been left on the finger of a foreign statue, and exposedto the mercy of any passer-by, while he waltzed with a bonnet-maker'sassistant.

  And his conscience was awakened still further by the discovery that Adawas a somewhat disappointing partner. "She's not so light as she used tobe," he thought, "and then she jumps. I'd forgotten she jumped."

  Before the waltz was nearly over he led her back to a chair, alleging ashis excuse that he was afraid to abandon his ring any longer, andhastened away to the spot where it was to be found.

  He went along the same path, and soon came to an enclosure; but nosooner had he entered it than he saw that he must have mistaken his way;this was not the right place. There was no statue in the middle.

  He was about to turn away, when he saw something that made him start; itwas a low pedestal in the centre, with the same characters upon it thathe had read with Ada. It was the place, after all; yes, he could not bemistaken; he knew it now.

  Where was the statue which had so lately occupied that pedestal? Had itfallen over amongst the bushes? He felt about for it in vain. It musthave been removed for some purpose while he had been dancing; but bywhom, and why?

  The best way to find out would be to ask some one in authority. Themanager was in the Baronial Hall, officiating as M.C.; he would go andinquire whether the removal had been by his orders.

  He was fortunate enough to catch him as he was coming out of the hall,and he seized him by the arm with nervous haste. "Mister," he began,"if you've found one of your plaster figures with a gold ring on, it'smine. I--I put it on in a joking kind of way, and I had to leave it forawhile; and now, when I come back for it, it's gone!"

  "I'm sorry to hear it, sir," returned the manager; "but really, if youwill leave gold rings on our statues, we can't be responsible, youknow."

  "But you'll excuse me," pursued Leander; "I don't think you quiteunderstood me. It isn't only the ring that's gone--it's the statue; andif you've had it put up anywhere else----"

  "Nonsense!" said the manager; "we don't move our statues about likechessmen; you've forgotten where you left it, that's all. What was thestatue like?"

  Leander described it as well as he could, and the manager, with asomewhat altered manner, made him point out the spot where he believedit to have stood, and they entered the grove together.

  The man gave one rapid glance at the vacant pedestal, and then grippedLeander by the shoulder, and looked at him long and hard by the feeblelight. "Answer me," he said, roughly; "is this some lark of yours?"

  "ANSWER ME," HE SAID ROUGHLY; "IS THIS SOME LARK OFYOURS?"]

  "I look larky, don't I?" said poor Tweedle, dolefully. "I thought you'dbe sure to know where it was."

  "I wish to heaven I did!" cried the manager, passionately; "it's thoseimpudent blackguards.... They've done it under my very nose!"

  "If it's any of your men," suggested Leander, "can't you make them putit back again?"

  "It's not any of my men. I was warned, and, like a fool, I wouldn'tbelieve it could be done at a time like this; and now it's too late, andwhat am I to say to the inspector? I wouldn't have had this happen fora thousand pounds!"

  "Well, it's kind of you to feel so put out about it," said Leander. "Yousee, what makes the ring so valuable to me----"

  The manager was pacing up and down impatiently, entirely ignoring hispresence.

  "I say," Tweddle repeated, "the reason why that ring's of particklerimportance----"

  "Oh, don't bother _me_!" said the other, shaking him off. "I don't wantto be uncivil, but I've got to think this out.... Infernal rascals!" hewent on muttering.

  "Have the goodness to hear what I've got to say, though," persistedLeander. "I'm mixed up in this, whether you like it or not. You seem toknow who's got this figure, and I've a right to be told too. I won't gotill I get that ring back; so now you understand me!"

  "Confound you and your ring!" said the manager. "What's the good ofcoming bully-ragging me about your ring? _I_ can't get you your ring!You shouldn't have been fool enough to put it on one of our statues. Youmake me talk to you like this, coming bothering when I've enough on mymind as it is! Hang it! Can't you see I'm as anxious to get that statueagain as ever you can be? If I don't get it, I may be a ruined man, forall I know; ain't that enough for you? Look here, take my advice, andleave me alone before we have words over this. You give me your name andaddress, and you may rely on hearing from me as soon as anything turnsup. You can do no good to yourself or any one else by making a row; sogo away quiet like a sensible chap!"

  Leander felt stunned by the blow; evidently there was nothing to be donebut follow the manager's advice. He went to the office with him, andgave his name and address in full, and then turned back alone to thedancing-hall.

  He had lost his ring--no ordinary trinket which he could purchaseanywhere, but one for which he would have to account--and to whom? Tohis aunt and Matilda. How could he tell, when there was even a chance ofseeing it again?

  If only he had not allowed himself that waltz; if only he had insistedupon remaining by the statue until his ring was removed; if only he hadnot been such an idiot as to put it on! None of these acts were wrongexactly; but between them they had brought him to this.

  And the chief person responsible was Miss Ada Parkinson, whom he darednot reproach; for he was naturally unwilling that this last stage of theaffair should become known. He would have to dissemble, and he rejoinedhis party with what he intended for a jaunty air.

  "We've been waiting for you to go away," said Bella. "Where have youbeen all this time?"

  He saw with relief that Ada did not appear to have mentioned the statue,and so he said he had been "strolling about."

  "And Ada left to take care of herself!" said Bella, spitefully. "You arepolite, Mr. Tweddle, I must say!"

  "I haven't complained, Bella, that I know of," said Ada. "And Mr.Tweddle and I quite understand each other, don't we?"

  "Oh!" said Bella, with an altered manner and a side-glance at James, "Ididn't know. I'm very glad to hear it, I'm sure."

  And then they left the gardens, and, after a substantial meal at ariverside hotel, started on the homeward journey, with the sense thattheir expedition had not been precisely a success.

  As before, they had a railway compartment to themselves. Bella declinedto talk, and lay back in her corner with closed eyes and an expressionof undeserved suffering, whilst the unfortunate Jauncy sat silent andmiserable opposite.

  Leander would have liked to be silent too, and think out his position;but Ada would not hear of this. Her jealous resentment had apparentlyvanished, and she was extremely lively and playful in her sallies.

  This reached a pitch when she bent forward, and, in a whisper, which shedid not, perhaps, intend to be quite confidential, said, "
Oh, Mr.Tweddle, you never told me what became of the ring! Is it off at last?"

  "Off? yes!" he said irritably, very nearly adding, "and the statue too."

  "Weren't you very glad!" said she.

  "Uncommonly," he replied grimly.

  "Let me see it again, now you've got it back," she pleaded.

  "You'll excuse me," he said; "but after what has taken place, I can'tshow that ring to anybody."

  "Then you're a cross thing!" said Ada, pouting.

  "What's the matter with you two, over there?" asked Bella, sleepily.

  Ada's eyes sparkled with mischief. "Let me tell them; it is too awfullyfunny. I _must_!" she whispered to Leander. "It's all about a ring," shebegan, and enjoyed poor Tweddle's evident discomfort.

  "A ring?" cried Bella, waking up. "Don't keep all the fun to yourselves;we've not had so much of it this evening."

  "Miss Ada," said Leander, in great agitation, "I ask you, as a lady, totreat what has happened this evening in the strictest confidence for thepresent!"

  "Secrets, Ada?" cried her sister; "upon my word!"

  "Why, where's the harm, Mr. Tweddle, now it's all settled?" exclaimedAda. "Bella, it was only this: he went and put a ring (now do wait tillI've done, Mr. Tweddle!) on a certain person's finger out in thoseRosherwich Gardens (you see, I've not said _whose_ finger)."

  "Hullo, Tweddle!" cried Jauncy, in some bewilderment.

  Leander could only cast a look of miserable appeal at him.

  "Shall I tell them any more, Mr. Tweddle?" said Ada, persistently.

  "I don't think there's any necessity," he pleaded.

  "No more do I," put in Bella, archly. "I think we can guess the rest."

  Ada did not absolutely make any further disclosures that evening; butfor the rest of the journey she amused herself by keeping thehairdresser in perpetual torment by her pretended revelations, until hewas thoroughly disgusted.

  No longer could he admire her liveliness; he could not even see that shewas good-looking now. "She's nothing but chaff, chaff, chaff!" hethought. "Thank goodness, Matilda isn't given that way. Chaff beforemarriage means nagging after!"

  They reached the terminus at last, when he willingly said farewell tothe other three.

  "Good-bye, Mr. Tweddle," said Bella, in rather a more cordial tone; "Ineedn't hope _you_'ve enjoyed yourself!"

  "You needn't!" he replied, almost savagely.

  "Good night," said Ada; and added in a whisper, "Don't go and dream ofyour statue-woman!"

  "If I dream to-night at all," he said, between his teeth, "it will be anightmare!"

  "I suppose, Tweddle, old chap," said Jauncy, as he shook hands, "youknow your own affairs best; but, if you meant what you told me comingdown, you've been going it, haven't you?"

  He left Leander wondering impatiently what he meant. Did he know thetruth? Well, everybody might know it before long; there would probablybe a fuss about it all, and the best thing he could do would be to tellMatilda at once, and throw himself upon her mercy. After all, it wasinnocent enough--if she could only be brought to believe it.

  He did not look forward to telling her; and by the time he reached theBank and got into an omnibus, he was in a highly nervous state, as thefollowing incident may serve to show.

  He had taken one of those uncomfortable private omnibuses, where thepassengers are left in unlightened gloom. He sat by the door, and,occupied as he was by his own misfortunes, paid little attention to hissurroundings.

  But by-and-by, he became aware that the conductor, in collecting thefares, was trying to attract the notice of some one who sat in thefurther corner of the vehicle. "Where are you for, lady, please?" heasked repeatedly, and at last, "_Will_ somebody ask the lady up the endwhere I'm to set her down?" to all of which the eccentric personaddressed returned no reply whatever.

  Leander's attention was thus directed to her; but, although in theobscurity he could make out nothing but a dim form of grey, his nerveswere so unsettled that he felt a curiously uneasy fancy that eyes werebeing fixed upon him in the darkness.

  This continued until a moment when some electric lights suddenly flashedinto the omnibus as it passed, and lit up the whole interior with aghastly glare, in which the grey female became distinctly visible.

  He caught his breath and shrank into the corner; for in that moment hisexcited imagination had traced a strange resemblance to the figure hehad left in Rosherwich Gardens. The inherent improbability of finding aclassical statue seated in an omnibus did not occur to him, in the statehis mind was in just then. He sat there fascinated, until lights shonein once more, and he saw, or thought he saw, the figure slowly raise herhand and beckon to him.

  That was enough; he started up with a smothered cry, thrust a coin intothe conductor's hand, and, without waiting for change, flung himselffrom the omnibus in full motion.

  When its varnished sides had ceased to gleam in the light of the lamps,and its lumbering form had been swallowed up in the autumn haze, hebegan to feel what a coward his imagination had made of him.

  "My nightmare's begun already," he thought. "Still, she was sosurprisingly like, it did give me a turn. They oughtn't to let suchcrazy females into public conveyances!"

  Fortunately his panic had not seized him until he was within a shortdistance from Bloomsbury, and it did not take him long to reach QueenSquare and his shop in the passage. He let himself in, and went up to alittle room on an upper floor, which he used as his sitting-room. Theperson who "looked after him" did not sleep on the premises; but shehad laid a fire and left out his tea-things. "I'll have some tea," hethought, as he lit the gas and saw them there. "I feel as if I wantcheering up, and it can't make me any more shaky than I am."

  And when his fire was crackling and blazing up, and his kettle beginningto sing, he felt more cheerful already. What, after all, if it did takesome time to get his ring again? He must make some excuse or other; and,should the worst come to the worst, "I suppose," he thought, "I couldget another made like it--though, when I come to think of it, I'll beshot if I remember exactly what it was like, or what the words inside itwere, to be sure about them; still, very likely old Vidler wouldrecollect, and I dessay it won't turn out to be necessa----What thedevil's that?"

  He had the house to himself after nightfall, and he remembered that hisprivate door could not be opened now without a special key; yet he couldnot help a fancy that some one was groping his way up the staircaseoutside.

  "It's only the boards creaking, or the pipes leaking through," hethought. "I must have the place done up. But I'm as nervous as a catto-night."

  The steps were nearer and nearer--they stopped at the door--there was aloud commanding blow on the panels.

  "Who's here at this time of night?" cried Leander, aloud. "Come in, ifyou want to!"

  But the door remained shut, and there came another rap, even moreimperious.

  "I shall go mad if this goes on!" he muttered, and making a desperaterush to the door, threw it wide open, and then staggered backpanic-stricken.

  Upon the threshold stood a tall figure in classical drapery. His eyesmight have deceived him in the omnibus; but here, in the crude gaslight,he could not be mistaken. It was the statue he had last seen inRosherwich Gardens--now, in some strange and wondrous way,moving--alive!