by Unknown
Class wrapped up and people were putting back their supplies and gathering their belongings when one of the instructors came by my station. “You do really nice work. Is there someplace people can see more of your pieces? If you’re interested, we post some of the artist’s work online and make it available for public purchase. We do retain a percentage of the profit, but it serves as a pretty good platform for new artists.” For some reason, I couldn’t hear what she was saying. I could understand what was being said and I knew she was talking, but I couldn’t hear the actual words. I was still sitting there dumbfounded when Feliz nudged me sharply in the ribs with her elbow. I piped up and asked, “Are you asking me if my artwork is for sale?”
Amy, the art instructor, looked confused for a moment then replied hesitantly, “Well, yes. If you don’t want to sell it through our site, that’s fine. We do a promotion board here, as well. You could post some pictures of your pieces and leave your contact information. We like to encourage our artists here.” I cocked my head to the side, still trying to comprehend what Amy was saying.
“They’re saying what I already told you,” Feliz implored. “They’re saying you’re an artist and that your work is good enough to sell!!” I looked over and saw she was beaming. I still hadn’t said an intelligible word and watched as Felix took matters into her own hands. “So how much do you think a piece like this is worth,” she asked.
“Well, we’ve seen our artists sell for as much as a thousand dollars for similar pieces,” Amy replied.
“A thousand bucks, huh? We’ll be in touch!” Feliz grabbed me tightly by the arm and pulled me aside. “Why are you standing there dumbfounded? I told you your artwork was good. I mean really good. If that is what you can paint in less than three hours, I can’t wait to see what you paint when you have nothing but time. Your being off right now is perfect! You can paint and sketch and draw all day if you want!”
I was still shocked by the offer from the instructor as we strolled to the car with our artwork in hand. True enough, it had felt amazing to be painting again and my gift had come rushing back as if it had been standing behind a door, just waiting for me to open it. Painting had been second nature. There was nothing forced. My hands knew what to do, when to act and how to exact each stroke of my brush. It felt like I hadn’t really been conscious when I’d created the piece. Everything I’d done had been organic and my feelings maneuvered the colors across the canvas. I couldn’t recall the last time I’d felt so relaxed and liberated. And to have Amy offer to post my work to sell, that was beyond anything I’d expected or imagined. I turned to Feliz before starting the car, “I’m so glad you decided to join me today. I don’t know what came over me in there. I just couldn’t believe they thought my work was good enough to sell! I’m so excited!” On the drive to Feliz’s house, we clambered on about the class and agreed to meet again for another session soon.
As I pulled out of the driveway and headed down the street, I felt a pang of sadness that I didn’t have a significant other with whom I could share my excitement. Feliz was heading in to show off her artwork to her family and I was headed to an empty house. I considered calling Mike. I knew he would be happy to hear from me and to hear my news, but I didn’t want to open the door for a temptation I wouldn’t be able to resist. He would want to come over and see the piece for himself and I knew if he set foot in my house, he would end up in my bed. We had unfinished business and the only reason we hadn’t already resolved it was because I was avoiding being alone with him at all cost.
As for Josh, I knew I would be calling him anyway because this was the day he’d had his first therapy session so without a second thought I dialed his number.
“Hey Erin.” Josh sounded despondent when he answered.
“Hi Josh. I was just calling to check on you. I know your first session was today. How’d it go?” I didn’t really need to ask. His tone told me everything I needed to know.
“I guess it went as it was supposed to. The therapist asked me a bunch of questions about my past and got some background information. He asked me what my goals were and about my expectations for the sessions. It didn’t really get too heavy until close to the end, but I left there feeling like shit. I mean, it’s like stirring up a bunch of toxins, you know? Now I just feel sick and run down. Anyway, how are things with you?”
“Things are good. I see Dr. Stevenson on Thursday. The sessions are rough, I know, but I can tell that as I stir it all up, my mess is getting cleared out. It won’t happen with just one session. I guess it could be compared to an emotional colonic,” I chuckled and Josh did too. I was glad to hear him laugh. “Listen, I think I may have something that will cheer you up.” I said hopefully.
“Is that so,” Josh sounded skeptical but I knew I had roused his curiosity.
“Yes and it is not what you’re thinking! Sorry to disappoint you!” Again we shared a laugh and I could hear the heaviness lighten a bit in his voice.
“Aww man, really? Well, I guess a man can dream,” Josh said.
“Would it be alright if I came by for a bit?” I was apprehensive and unsure how he might feel about having me at his place. Before I had a moment to regret asking Josh’s voice boomed over the receiver.
“Of course! As long as you know I am not putting out no matter how much you beg!” “Bye Josh! I’ll see you in a bit.” I was still smiling when I hung up the phone. It felt good to be able to laugh and joke with Josh again. Aside from the other complexities we’d had in our relationship, we actually used to have a lot of fun together and I was realizing that I missed his company.
Chapter Seventeen
After a twenty minute drive to Josh’s apartment, I was sitting in his parking lot contemplating whether or not I’d made a mistake in coming over. My intentions were completely pure and I knew there was no chance of having drunk sex, because I hadn’t had a drink in days. This is just a visit to cheer up a friend. He’s no different from the girls –well except for the fact that we used to sleep together! Shit! Maybe this isn’t what either of us needs right now. I was still going back and forth in my mind when I was startled by a knock on the car window.
“Are you coming up or did you want to sit out here in your car,” Josh asked with a smile. His face changed to somber sincerity as he assured me, “Erin, you’re safe with me. I won’t let anything happen with us. I want us to be friends if nothing else and I won’t do anything to jeopardize that. It’s all I have at the moment.” I forced myself to break away from the intensity of his gaze and turned off the engine.
I hopped out of the car and shooed Josh toward his apartment building as I pulled the painting from the back seat. Josh had offered to carry it, but I insisted on toting it up the stairs to keep him in suspense until the absolute last minute. When we stepped into the living room, I balanced the painting across the back of Josh’s overstuffed recliner and stepped back to stand next to Josh. I watched as he studied the piece. He seemed impressed but not necessarily moved.
“That’s a really nice piece! Where’d you find it?” His face showed genuine interest as he turned and looked at me. I felt relief course through me and I relished his words before confessing.
“I painted it in an art class tonight.” My eyes scanned his face wildly as I watched him process each word. Josh’s face lit up as he strode over to pick up the painting. He looked down at it then back at me in amazement.
“Erin, this is incredible! You did this tonight? I didn’t even know you could paint! Wow, it’s… breathtaking!!” Mission accomplished. He was beaming and I was glad I could pull him out of his previous funk.
“I want you to have it Josh.” For the life of me, I didn’t know why I was suddenly bashful about it. I looked up at Josh sheepishly and though I wasn’t embarrassed or uncomfortable, a crimson flush was aglow in my cheeks. Josh’s expression melted from adulation to adoration and I felt a flutter in the pit of my stomach as he made his way over to me and placed the painting gently down on the coffee t
able beside him.
“This means a lot to me Erin. I’d be honored to accept your artwork. I know I said I wasn’t going to be allowing anything to happen between us, but you are making it extremely hard to resist you right now. I feel like I’m seeing a different side of you or maybe even meeting the real you for the first time. I don’t mean that, in a bad way, I mean that it’s nice to get to know you a little. I feel like we missed that phase in our relationship and I’m glad we’re having it in our developing friendship.” There were just inches between us now and I could faintly feel his breath as it tickled my collar bone. I ignored the feeling and focused on Josh’s face that had spread into a warm smile. I couldn’t resist the urge to touch him and placed my hand lightly on his shoulder.
“I agree Josh. I think we took things way too quickly which was our main problem. I’m enjoying getting to know you as a friend too.” I returned the smile that still remained on Josh’s lips and fought against the impulse to bring my mouth to meet his. “So what kind of movies do you have?” I said over my shoulder as I stepped away from him. Josh was too close and the bookshelf of DVDs was across the room so I headed in that direction. Thankfully he didn’t follow.
“I’ve got a bunch of different flicks. Cult classics, guilty pleasures, action, thriller, what’s your pleasure?”
“First of all, I didn’t think people referred to movies as flicks anymore unless they were talking about porn and from the list you just gave me, I’m still not sure it isn’t porn we’re talking about. What kind of cult classics do you have? Debbie Does, The Bone Ranger?” I looked over my shoulder at him with a suspicious smirk.
Josh chuckled and shook his head, “Pick whatever you want, Erin. I’ll watch whatever flick you choose.”
I settled on the box set of Back to the Future and positioned myself on the opposite end of the sofa. Despite his initial groan, Josh agreed to watch the entire series with me. We curled up beneath blankets and ate popcorn and laughed well into the morning. Around 2a.m. I got up to leave, but Josh insisted that I stay. “You can take the bed. I’ll set myself up out here on the sofa.” Too tired to protest, I let him lead me back to the bedroom. He reached in his top dresser drawer and tossed me a t-shirt. “You can sleep in this. I also have some gym shorts if you feel like you need them.”
I just shook my head no and whispered, “Goodnight Josh.” As he reached the doorway, he turned a fraction. “Goodnight Erin.” He flashed me one last half smile before he pulled the door closed behind him. The memory of the first time I saw that sexy little half smile flashed through my mind. That brief moment of nostalgia stayed with me until sleep took over and I drifted off with the curl of a smile still on my lips.
It was the smell of pancakes, eggs and bacon that first caused me to stir. I let the mingling aromas rouse me from the depths of slumber and now fresh-brewed coffee was seducing my senses. That was all the motivation I needed. I sprang from the bed and without forethought, began fixing my appearance in the mirror. I fussed over my hair a bit then ventured down the hall letting my nose lead the way. I arrived just in time to see Josh, shirtless, placing a plate of steaming pancakes and crispy bacon on the table. I followed him into the small kitchen. “Is there anything I can do to help? It’s really nice of you to make breakfast, but you didn’t have to go to all this trouble. After all, I’ve already put you out of your bed and invaded your space.”
“Well, just consider this my payment for the beautiful artwork. I can’t believe I have an authentic Erin Porter piece in my apartment! Now when you become famous don’t come over and try to reclaim it!” Josh flashed me a boyish grin.
“You have nothing to worry about. I don’t think that will be happening any time soon, but the lady at the art class did offer to post the painting on the website as available for sale.” Josh turned from the sink where he was cutting the buds off of a carton of strawberries and said, “What?! How much are they saying you could get for it?”
“Well,” I began reluctantly. “They said similar pieces have gone for as much as a thousand dollars.” Josh put his knife down and turned to fully face me. The small size of the kitchen caused our proximity to be closer than I’d expected and he was less than a foot away from me. Before I knew it, I was drinking in the carved detail of the divot between his pecks that created a path down between six firmly pronounced abs. I thought about pouring syrup into that divot, watching it trickle down his chest and into that chiseled crease in his abdomen and meeting it there with my tongue. I shook myself back to reality and focused on resuming my conversation with Josh. When I returned my gaze to his face, he was staring at me.
Josh gripped my hands tightly as his eyes bored into me. “Erin, I really appreciate your gesture. Honestly I do, but what kind of person would I be to stand in the way of you earning money and exposing your gift to the world?” He’s so thoughtful. I couldn’t help but smile as I gave his hands an assuring squeeze.
“I want you to have it and I refuse to take it back. Besides, if you give this one back I might lose my drive to paint another ‘masterpiece.’” I pulled my hands from his grasp, to make air quotes before grabbing the bowl of scrambled eggs from the counter. I was about to make a beeline for the table to escape the mounting tension in the kitchen when I felt Josh’s breath against my neck.
“Are you sure that’s what you want?” I heard his words, but all I could focus on was the feeling of the warmth of his body behind me. He wasn’t touching me, but he was extremely close. I could hear his labored breathing and each breath caused an electric shock to jolt down my spine. I panted softly as I struggled to maintain control. It had been a while since I’d felt the sparks ignite between my thighs and if I stood there one more second I was going to bathe this man in syrup and have him for breakfast! I scurried out of the kitchen toward the table and set the bowl of eggs down a bit harder than I’d intended before saying, “Come on. Let’s eat before the food gets cold. Everything looks delicious!” Josh followed me to the table with the bowl of strawberries he’d been working on. “Umm, yeah, I’ll need you to put on a shirt if you plan on eating with me,” I said as I took one last glance at his perfectly constructed frame. He didn’t move. In fact, he was staring at my thighs that peeked from beneath the oversized t-shirt I was wearing.
“If I have to put on a shirt, you definitely have to put on a pair of shorts or something.” Josh was addressing me, but his eyes were still fixed on my legs.
“Fine.” I said with fake discontent as I hopped up from the table and trotted toward the bedroom. I glanced over my shoulder and found him standing there at the end of the hall with his head cocked to one side, still watching me. “Go put on your shirt and stop stirring up trouble!” I warned. After all, I had barely survived the temptation in the kitchen and I felt like I might lose ground if I had to sit across from his magnificence while we ate. From the looks of things, I wasn’t the only one feeling tempted.
“Sure thing ma’am!” Josh walked backward slowly giving me a wink and biting his bottom lip as he tried to hide his smirk. He was toying with me. He has no idea how close he is to me slamming him down and sitting on his face! Yeah, I have just the thing to wipe away that smirk!
When Josh and I returned to the table, we were both fully clothed and I’d managed to calm myself down from my temporary head-rush. We ate and talked a while before I insisted I had to leave. I knew Josh had an afternoon class to teach and I didn’t want to hold him up from getting ready.
Josh followed me down to my car and before I knew what was happening, he grabbed me and wrapped me in his arms, squeezing me tightly. I hugged him back and for a second I let myself nestle into his embrace. “Thanks for everything Erin. I know you came by to cheer me up and you did more than that. You made my day! Thanks again for the gift.” Josh planted a kiss atop my head and rested his chin in my hair. Part of me knew I should pull away, but I was enjoying the feeling of being in a man’s arms again.
I breathed him in quietly for a lingering mome
nt before mumbling into his chest, “You’re welcome Josh. Thanks for letting me crash in your bed and for making me breakfast. We’ll talk again soon, okay? I’ll let you know when I finish my next piece of artwork.” I pulled back enough to see his brown eyes and smiled. He was still holding me and even if he hadn’t been, his gaze would have held me there. Josh inched his mouth closer to mine and I felt my pulse quicken as I closed my eyes to await the soft touch of his lips. I felt the warmth against my skin as he pressed his lips gently against my cheek. My eyes were still closed when I noticed Josh pulling his arms away from me. I slowly opened one eye then the other as I realized that was it.
“I told you I didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize our friendship and I meant it. Talk to you soon Erin.” Josh turned and walked away. I was still standing there watching as he trotted up the stairs to his apartment. His air of confidence felt familiar and inviting. It was the Josh he’d been when we first met, but I subdued the urge to go trotting up the stairs behind him, got in my car and drove home.
On my way home, I stopped at Michael’s again and picked up an easel, a bunch of paint colors, brushes, tarps and canvases. I lugged all the new art supplies into my guestroom and tossed them on the bed before I began moving furniture around to make space for the easel. I laid a tarp down in front of the corner window. It was a perfect spot because it got the most sunlight and the view offered a glimpse beyond the neighborhood into the forest behind it. I thought about how beautiful it was in the winter with all the trees and rooftops covered in snow and how great it would be to paint that image. Yes, this is the perfect spot! I ran downstairs and grabbed the remaining art supplies and easel and toted them back upstairs. I set the easel up on the tarp in the corner. Next I slid the empty nightstand across the room and draped it in another tarp to use it as a table for my brushes and paints. I filled the empty drawers with extra paint and brushes. The notebook that contained all my sketches and drawings was still where I’d left it, on my nightstand in my bedroom. I went in and retrieved it, hoping to find a picture that inspired me. Flipping through the pages, I surveyed each drawing before settling on a blue jay. Now for some music. I ran back downstairs and grabbed my vintage styled radio—complete with record and CD player—and pulled out my Best of Ella Fitzgerald album. Yeah, I’m feelin’ jazzy. I instantly felt inebriated as I popped open the cans of paint and the scent filled my nostrils. I pulled a stool out of the corner and perched on top of it with my notebook in hand. The sketch was one I’d done in undergrad, but it was intricately detailed. As I sat there breathing in the intoxicating aroma of fresh paint, I studied the sketch intently as I swayed to the melodic play of Ella Fitzgerald. When I thought I’d stared at the drawing long enough, I put down the notebook and picked up a paint brush.
