by Unknown
“I’m trying to make sure your son won’t hear you scream,” I replied, matching his tone.
“Is that right?” He growled. We were nose to nose and I could taste the coolness of his breath as his lips brushed against mine.
“Yeah, that’s right.” I breathed. “You may have run the show in Vegas, but it’s time the tables were turned.” All the confidence I never seemed to have around Mike made its way back to me and I felt empowered. It’s time he knew exactly what he’s getting himself into. I shot him a glare full of mischief and I could tell he was intrigued.
“Well, in that case, lock the door.” Mike challenged as he reached behind me and clicked the lock.
His mouth was still touching mine, so I licked the top lip and sucked the bottom one into my mouth, skimming it lightly with my teeth as I released it slowly. I clutched the back of his head and pulled him down closer to me. I traced the pattern of his ear with my tongue and flicked the lobe before taking it into my mouth. He jerked and I smiled knowingly. Releasing it, I made my way down his neck making tiny circles and flicking my tongue back and forth against the prominent vein in Mike’s neck. I wrapped my lips around a small bit of his flesh, nipping and sucking it firmly. As I tugged at the bottom of Mike’s shirt he automatically raised his arms and I pulled it up over his head and tossed it aside. My fingers journeyed down across his chest and my mouth followed, licking every crease until I reached the crevice at his pelvis that peeked out from his loosely-fitted sweatpants. My fingers gripped the waistband and with one strong tug I was inches away from his incredulous, rock-hard erection. As much as I wanted to feel the smoothness against my lips I resisted. I want this to last. It was my plan to torment and pleasure him, long and slow. “Take off your pants.” I commanded. Initially, he smirked, but when I didn’t crack a smile he quickly stepped out of the sweats and kicked them aside.
I forced Mike backward to his bed and pushed him down on top of it. I watched his eyes widen with surprise at my assertiveness. I was still fully clothed and there he lay, stark naked with the exception of his socks. I love it. I smirked. Seeing him there like that turned me on all the more and I kicked off my shoes, slid my pants and underwear off together and snatched my sweater up over my head. Now most of my clothes were added to the collection on the floor. Easy Erin, this is your takeover so take your time. I paused for a minute and eyed Mike from head to toe before fixing my gaze on him as I climbed onto the bed and straddled him. I could feel his thickness resting against my ass, but I was determined not to give it the attention it beckoned until I was good and ready. “Unhook me.” I ordered. This time he complied right away. I could see the urgency on his face though he tried hard to control it. I was driving him to the brink without yet giving him a taste of my sweetness. That fact alone created a dampening between my legs and I clenched to control it. As Mike unhooked my bra, he slid his hand around toward my breast and I shoved his hand away. “I didn’t say you could touch me.” I scowled disapprovingly and his hands dropped to his sides.
“Yes ma’am. Whatever you say.” He conceded through a shallow breath. I leaned over and let my nipples brush against his lips. He parted them slightly and attempted to take one into his mouth, but I backed away.
“Uh-uh.” I shook my head. Slowly I crawled up toward the headboard and placed one knee on each side of his head and pinned his shoulders beneath my ankles. My eyes met his as I stared down at him from above. I wanted him so bad it hurt, but I wanted to play this game out to the end. My body was betraying me so I used it to my advantage. “Look what you did to me.” I flashed an accusing glance down toward my aching swell. Mike swallowed hard as he looked at the parted pink flesh. “Now what are you going to do about it?” I hissed.
“Whatever you want me to.” Mike growled.
His eyes were begging me to say the word and I couldn’t hold back any longer. “Fix it!” I demanded. I almost collapsed as I felt the heat of his tongue. I gripped the headboard tightly as Mike’s arms wrapped around my thighs, pulling me down onto him. I damned near bit a hole in my bottom lip as I rolled my hips back and forth, feeling the subtle abrasion of his stubble against my flesh. It was sensory overload and I could feel the knot entwining in the pit of my stomach, but I used my very last ounce of resolve to pull Mike’s hands loose from my thighs as I slid back down his body. His mouth was still damp as I kissed him. He was a mix of his sweet scent and mine. I lay against his chest as I tasted his lips again. This time he pulled my tongue into his mouth and I relented. Mike took my lack of resistance as an invitation and grabbed handfuls of my backside. He squeezed until it ached and I could feel his body writhing beneath me as he searched for my sex. I tilted my pelvis and pressed it down onto his hardness. A moan of relief eased from my lips. It was all I wanted; all I’d been working for in this entire escapade. I had stirred him into a frenzy and wanted to be the end to his chaos. I let my hips grind slowly as I rode up and down. My eyes were set on Mike’s face as he made sex faces and struggled to maintain control. It was exactly where I wanted him. I needed to know that his desire for me was uncontrollable and watching him nearly unraveled me.
I rested my head against his chest and continued my motion against his hips. The knot within me tightened again and it was more than I could stand. I clenched the flesh of Mike’s shoulder between my teeth and bit down hard as I descended. He let out a yell of pain and pleasure as his strokes quickened and he pulled me down hard against him.
I was still panting against Mike’s chest and listening to his racing heartbeat when there was a soft rap on the door. I forgot he was still here! I hopped up in a panic, grabbed my clothes and bolted into the bathroom as Mike slowly rolled from the bed and grabbed his sweats. “Just a minute.” He called to Adrian. I peeked out at him through the crack in the bathroom door. He was so calm. He strolled over to the door, slid on his shirt and stepped out into the hallway. I guess I’d better get used to these kinds of interruptions. I assumed that kind of calm came with parenthood and refused to think about how many other times this could possibly have happened with someone other than me. I knew for certain it had happened with his wife, if no one else.
When Mike returned, I was dressed and perched at the end of the bed. “You can come out now, unless you wanted to stay in here.” He said waggling his brows.
“No, I think I’ll take you up on that view of the sunset some other time.” I slid past him, trailed down the stairs and out the door. I had barely made it to the first traffic light when the text came through my phone:
You win this round Ms. Erin, but trust me when I say this battle isn’t over. When it’s all said and done I’m determined not only to have your body, but also your heart. Talk to you soon.
Love,
Mike
I didn’t care what the rest of the text said. I focused on the last two words. “Love, Mike,” and I beamed all the way home.
Chapter Twenty-Four
It was June now and six months had passed since I had revealed my growing secret that was now a tell-all. I was a full eight months and had developed a very full belly that, despite my resistance, caused me to waddle. It seemed like forever since I had begun working on my showcase, but a trial performance let me know I needed a bit more experience to overcome my stage fright. In the months that had passed, I had become a regular in the open-mikes that Feliz’s friend hosted at his club. I had even started painting alongside some of the other poets as they presented. The deal was, if I painted the pictures, the club owner would display them in his venue and post purchase prices. He made percent of every piece I sold. I thought it was a fair price to pay for the onstage experience.
I kept up with my art classes and—with the help of the instructors from Both Sides—I had actually become a pretty good painter and was able to complete my projects in less time. They had also helped me in the area of pricing my work. I was selling pieces for anywhere between $200-$500 each. Every dime I made was set aside in my “Bun Fund.” I had managed to
tuck away several thousand dollars for my sweet baby so far.
I had so many paintings in my guestroom now that I had sorted them into collections. So far I had Florida Vacation, My Point of View and Sketch Me If You Can. I’d used my imagination to paint the autumn view from Mike’s window since I hadn’t actually seen it yet for the My Point of View pieces and the Sketch Me If You Can paintings were all based on drawings from my sketch book that included the blue jay.
I worked hard to somehow balance the time I spent between Josh and Mike, but I inevitably ended up spending most of my time with Mike. Josh and I were tremendous friends. He wanted more, but he never pressed me about it.
The more time I spent with Mike, the harder it was to be away from him. I had even introduced him to Feliz and her husband Mario. Mario and Mike became fast friends and eventually, business partners. It helped to offset the maintenance costs for both of them and they were able to double the business with all the contacts Mike had made through AAA. The four of us even got together a couple of times a month to double date.
As much as my affection grew for Mike, it had tripled for his son Adrian. I was absolutely in love with him. We spent countless hours together and I often volunteered to watch him on my days off from work if Mike had late night gigs.
Yes, I had reluctantly returned to work and it felt exactly like that… WORK. I had made up in my mind I would tough it out for at least another year to see if it was still a part of what I wanted. I loved my patients, but the job itself had lost its luster for me.
The months of therapy had helped me realize I was no longer obligated to sustain my sister’s memory through my actions and choices in life. It was enough that I carried her with me in my heart. That meant her memory would live on in me. That revelation changed me. It freed me to live my life—the life I should have been living all along.
My son’s nursery was nearly finished and, as Josh had suggested, I covered his walls in a beautiful, vibrant mural. I had painted all but one wall which I left blank to create a special piece once he arrived. I could hardly wait to press his little foot and hand prints onto the wall. I planned to do it every year for as long as he would let me so I could literally watch him grow.
My passion for art and music—coupled with the love I felt for a child I had yet to meet—consumed me. I had never in my life experienced so much joy and my desire to share it had me thinking of opening a small performance and visual arts studio. I had breezed the idea by Mike and despite his increasingly busy schedule, he had agreed to help me with the music and production portion so that I could teach painting, sketch and creative writing sessions. It was a lofty idea, but I kept it tucked away as a distant possibility. All bets were off until after the baby was born and the DNA test was taken. Even though both Mike and Josh had assured me they would be fine either way, I wasn’t set on putting all my eggs in either basket. Receive reality and prepare for possibilities. I kept reminding myself. In a few weeks, I wouldn’t be the only one who had something to lose if I made a mistake.
As kind and loyal as Mike had been, something in me still doubted his commitment to me. I was still working on overcoming my old phobias, and they flared up on occasion. Over the past few months, he had been with me every step of the way. He had taken me to meet his mother and I loved her from day one. Her house was warm and homey and filled with the mothering warmth and kindness I’d missed growing up. Mike’s mom Carmen was sweet and she seemed to genuinely like me. The visits to her home made my heart feel full. It all felt like family, and to me, that felt right.
Communication between Josh and I was more consistent than our actual visits with one another. We talked about our therapy sessions and he updated me on his progress. I was so glad to have him to talk to and he always made me laugh. I noticed there was always a trace of sadness in his voice whenever we talked about the baby, so I only mentioned him if Josh asked. Of course, he always asked! He wanted to know about my doctor visits and how I was feeling. He asked what I was eating and if I was eating enough. Sometimes he would even call out of the blue and ask me about something random he’d read about or seen online. His attention always left me with mixed emotions. His caring and concern warmed my heart. At the same time it also ached for what I knew was inevitable. With each day that passed, my anxiety grew. What if the DNA test doesn’t match what’s in my heart? How could I bear to see the sadness in Josh’s eyes? I’d run through the scenario every way possible in my mind, but nothing was guaranteed to go the way I’d planned.
Around 7pm Josh, rang my phone. I picked it up heartily. “Hey Josh!” I smiled into the receiver.
“Hey Erin.” He murmured in a dejected tone.
“What’s up? Is there something wrong?” My brows knit with concern.
“No. Nothing is wrong. I’d actually rather talk to you in person if that’s alright?” I could tell Josh had tried ineffectively to lighten his voice. Something is definitely up. I concluded.
“Sure, come on over whenever. I’m here at the house.” He told me he was on his way and I resumed folding tiny baby clothes and placing them in the drawer. I’ve stockpiled enough diapers and wipes to last for months. I turned and took a look at the stacks of boxes in my son’s closet. They were piled up to the rack where I would eventually hang his clothes, but for now, all his little pieces would be tucked in his drawers.
*****
I was sitting on the couch sipping a cup of green tea when Josh finally arrived. “Come in!” I yelled as I tilted the cup to my lips.
“Erin, are you crazy?! I could have been anybody!”
“Well, clearly you aren’t anybody. Besides, I saw you pull up on my way into the living room so I unlocked the door. I knew you’d have a fit.” I teased and chuckled into my teacup. Josh laughed, but his face looked strained and his smile never made it to his eyes. He didn’t wait for an invitation. He came right over, sat down beside me and kissed me on the cheek as usual. He even placed his hand on my belly and greeted my baby bump as he always did, but this time something was different and I couldn’t peg down what it was.
“So what’s up Josh?” I sat back against the pillow he’d reflexively tucked behind me. Everything he’s doing is normal, but something’s not right.
Josh turned slowly to face me although he could barely look at me. “Erin, I know we’ve been through a whole lot and it’s been less than a year. Everything has been crazy, emotional and revealing all at once. I wanted to thank you for taking me on such a wild ride because, however, bumpy the road was, it has brought us here.” He reached for my hand and took a deep breath before he went on. “I wanted to come and see you in person to tell you that I’ve been offered a job in Arizona. It’s the position of department head which is unheard of for someone my age. They want me to start in early July, so that I can get acclimated to their policies and procedures before fall courses start in August. It’s the opportunity of a lifetime and it would put me in a better position to provide for this child if that’s how our situation turns out. I don’t want to leave you considering how far along you are, but I could be on the very first flight back as soon as you gave the word. I want to be here for the birth if you still want me there.”
I was completely taken aback. Of all the things I could have thought of, this would never have been one of them. I tried hard at that moment to imagine my life without Josh in it. I thought about not being able to see him face-to-face on a regular basis. He’d become a close friend to me and I loved him for that. I am literally a better person for having him in my life. How could I tell him not to go? He deserves to live his life as much as I do. Josh was running his thumb nervously back and forth across my knuckle. I placed my hand over his and looked into his eyes. “Joshua, I’m happy for you! You’re amazing at what you do and the strides you’ve made in your career have been extraordinary. Congratulations! Don’t worry about things here. I’ll be fine and I’ll call you as soon as things start to get interesting.” I watched the breath release from his chest and
the color returned to his face. “I do want to make one thing clear. If you are doing this just because you think you need to make more money to help care for this baby, don’t do it. If you’re leaving so that you can advance to another level of success in your life and that’s genuinely what you want, I truly wish you the best. Will you be here long enough to come to the showcase?”
Josh flashed a smile that lit up his eyes. “Of course! I wouldn’t miss it! I couldn’t miss it! I can’t wait to see you up there in your true element. I swear you have to be the most talented person I’ve ever met. Who else could just go and have the intellectual capacity to become a pediatric surgeon while hiding the ability to be a professional singer, songwriter, painter and poet?! That’s bananas!” Josh flailed his arms around wildly and I let out a laugh.
“You’re crazy!” I giggled.
