“What about you?”
“What about me?” Okay, things had obviously spiralled out of control … were they going to start confessing feelings? He couldn’t afford to be too honest.
“Would you take me out?” she asked. “I mean, you almost … but stopped, so would you?”
Adam nervously laughed. “Sophie, I’ve really enjoyed this weekend with you -”
“But you’ve had to pretend.”
“Even though I’ve had to pretend. I’m not pretending now. I like you. I don’t have to fake that. But I’m not sure we’d be right for one another. We work together for a start.”
“Is that why you stopped?”
“Partly – yes!” Adam breathed deeply, wanting to form the right words before he spoke and put his foot in it again. “But, if what my father has planned, when he retires - I’ll be working all hours. I won’t have time for a relationship.” He lifted her chin, to make her look at him. “And I know that’s what you’ll want. It’s what you deserve. I didn’t want us having a one night stand.”
“No, that isn’t me.” Her voice trembled. “Tried that, got the T-shirt - so isn’t me.” Adam frowned, questioning. “At uni, trying to get over Simon, but it was equally as awful.”
“Oh.”
“So how is it going to work when we get home, back in the office? Us?”
“We’ll still be friends. I’ll see you down the White Lion on a Friday evening with James, won’t I?”
“I don’t know. You tell me. You just said you’re too busy – Mr Workaholic.” Her tone was cynical. She turned in the bed, her back to him. He hated it and wanted her in his arms.
“Sophie.” Adam watched her, not knowing what to say. He didn’t love; he wouldn't go down that route. But he had enjoyed this weekend. The show. Being close to her. Kissing her … Stop! Stop! Stop!
To his relief she turned back to face him, chewing her lip. “Sorry.”
“Come here.” He gave her a gentle smile and moved across into the centre of the bed, stretching out his arm towards her. As she turned off the lamp, pure darkness swept over the room. She searched for Adam’s arm, and as he felt her lie down, he curled his arm around her, moving her closer to him. He felt the heat of her body against his. She rested her head on his shoulder, easing into his neck, placing her arm over his chest.
He worried for a moment, but it wasn’t as if it was flesh against flesh. She had his shirt on. He’d kept his T-shirt on. This is two friends comforting one another. Nothing more. Relax.
‘James doesn’t kiss me on the nose.’
As they both settled, getting comfortable, with his free hand, he took hold of her hand and held it, with his thumb stroking over the back of it.
“This weekend has been nice. If I’m honest,” Sophie said softly. “Thank you.”
This weekend, apart from the hiccups with the ex-boyfriend, had been fantastic. But he couldn’t tell her. It’s for the best.
The last couple of nights' sleep had been good. They had slept comfortably apart, albeit in the same bed. Good solid sleep. Adam usually slept well with a woman in his arms, but tonight he wasn’t so sure. This was Sophie, his ‘brown-eyed girl’, and they weren’t supposed to do this.
He’d already had one close shave.
But he wasn't going to let her go.
Not tonight.
Chapter Seventeen
Sophie stirred sleepily, remembering the night before. At some point, she’d woken to find herself still wrapped in Adam’s arms. She should have moved out of his hold, but considering all that had gone on, she found herself forgiving him – they’d both been drunk. It was probably for the best nothing had happened. Treasuring their last moments of closeness together, she'd snuggled into his chest, feeling its rise and fall and the faint beating of his heart as he slept, and had slowly drifted back off.
Imagine it every night. If only. But he’d made it quite clear …
Opening her eyes, she realised his side of the bed was empty. He’d already got up - like every morning – and she, disappointedly, hadn’t woken in his arms.
She laid there for a moment, reminiscing about last night - on the dance floor, the kiss. There was a strange feeling inside her. She did not know if she was happy or sad. Her head was foggy and her heart achy, heavy. The weekend was coming to an end, and so was being with Adam. Before, she’d been looking forward to this day. Now she dreaded it.
She pulled back the covers, knowing she had to get up, though all she wanted to do was stay in the warm bed. A shower would clear her head. She couldn’t hear the shower running, and the bathroom door was open. Adam had probably gone swimming.
Was he avoiding her?
She showered quickly, trying to suppress any feelings about Adam. They’d come so close. Did he feel anything for her? He wanted to be friends; she had to respect his wishes. She wanted to be friends, too, but this weekend had proved how much she enjoyed having a boyfriend, being in a relationship. Imagine a real one …
As she applied her make-up, Adam walked through the door.
“Hi,” he said. “Sleep well?”
“Yes, thanks. You?” she asked, nervous of his answer. Were they even going to discuss last night?
“Well, I had this terrible snorer –”
“I don’t snore!” She threw the damp towel she’d used for her hair at him. He caught it and laughed. She had to laugh too.
“How’s your head?” Adam put the towel back on the rail.
“Fine, thank you. Surprised I actually don’t have a headache. How much champagne did we drink?” Stupid question. Stupid.
“Enough.” Adam didn’t look her in the eye then. “What time are we heading down to breakfast?”
“Soon. I’m finished in the bathroom if you need to use it.”
Looks like they weren’t going to discuss it. Men, and water under the bridge. If he won’t brood, neither should she. Time to toughen up.
“It’s okay, I showered at the pool.” Adam pulled the curtains, revealing the balcony and the clear blue sky, with not a trace of a cloud, only a white scar or two from aeroplanes.
“Ah, perfect for golf,” he said, opening the balcony door, letting in a cooling breeze. “The wind’s dropped, too.”
“Something tells me you’re going to get a round in before you leave,” she said and Adam looked at her puzzled. “Oh, I forgot to tell you. Last night –”
“Let’s not talk about last night. I feel guilty enough as it is.”
“No. No, I don’t mean about us.” Sophie winced, wishing she hadn’t said us. “Yesterday, I arranged with Cassie to stay with her for a few days.”
“What about getting home?”
“I’ll catch the train. I’ll be fine,” she quickly added, seeing his concerned expression. “I think I need to see my sister, catch up with friends. I’ve stayed away too long.” And a trip home with him in the car, would be too intense.
“Have you really stayed away because of Simon?”
Sophie screwed her face up, embarrassed, and ashamed she’d been so weak. “Yes. A bit.” Then blurted out, “I’d come home for Christmas!” She started brushing her hair, looking at Adam through the mirror. An awkward silence fell between them and Sophie needed to break it.
“Actually, this room is booked for another night – always has been,” she said. “Natalie and Gareth are not leaving here till Monday, to catch the flight for their honeymoon. I didn’t think you’d want to stay longer, so never mentioned it – but you can.”
“I’d love to, but I have meetings tomorrow morning. I can stay for a bit today, but need to head home by this evening.”
She nodded, burying any disappointment. As if she didn’t know the answer anyway. They couldn’t spend another night together, not after last night.
***
Sophie held Adam’s hand as they entered the dining room for the first time to have breakfast. Sophie had convinced him to pack later. She wasn’t checking out of the room until to
morrow, so he had all day.
Breakfast was a mix of emotions, from the sadness of family leaving to some friends nursing serious hangovers and only touching the coffee – that would be Cassie. Not even the hotel’s finest Full English could cure her. Sophie managed some toast and cereal, letting Adam and Gareth talk about golf and their handicaps - a conversation going straight over her head. As far as golf was concerned, Sophie was physically challenged.
“Why don’t we have a round of golf before you leave,” Gareth said to Adam.
“Yeah, okay, I like that idea.”
“Oh, us girls are coming too! Let’s partner up,” Cassie said, suddenly brightening up. “We could do with a giggle.”
Sophie internally cringed and swallowed her toast. Oh, great.
Allowing the men to carry on talking about their favourite subject, Natalie and Sophie quizzed Cassie on the young man sitting beside her at the breakfast table, wanting an introduction. He wasn’t nursing a hangover and seemed very attentive to Cassie’s needs. Sophie remembered he’d been the bloke Cassie had been dragging around the dance floor at the end. She wouldn’t pry yet as to whether he’d shared Cassie’s room.
“This is Dan,” Cassie said, her bubbly persona waning.
“I’m a friend of Gareth’s.” Dan held out his hand and Sophie, surprised, shook it.
“Fancy a round of golf, Dan?” Gareth grinned. “Cassie needs a partner.”
“Some fresh air will sort me out. Not.” Cassie rubbed her head. “Maybe it isn’t a good idea to play golf.”
“Oh, you’re coming, too,” Sophie said sharply. “It was your idea us girls tagged along on this golf lark in the first place.”
“Yes, and look what you’ve done,” Natalie said, gesturing to the men deep in sporting conversation.
“If I’m going to look terrible on the golf course, so are you!” Sophie laughed.
They agreed to meet in an hour and headed up to their rooms, Adam taking Sophie’s hand once again. It felt so warm and comforting. One more day she had and then it was over. Back to plain old Sophie, lonely and very single.
A part of her would be glad - the intensity of all this pretending was driving her nuts - but the other part was really going to miss him. It had been a very long time since she’d had a boyfriend. Simon. She shuddered. Her only miserable experience with love. At the time it hadn’t been miserable, until it came to a crashing end.
But Adam wanted to remain as friends, and she was adult enough to accept his decision. Though she still had these what ifs going around in her head.
Back up in their room, Adam silently packed his small suitcase. Sophie put her book down. Distracted by Adam's presence, she’d read the same paragraphs over and over, the words never sinking in.
She stepped out on to the balcony, greeted by the hot sun on her face. Unlike the usual gale force type winds normally coming off the ocean, only a gentle, cool breeze swept through her hair. On the beach, the lifeguards’ red and yellow flags, where bathers were supposed to swim, hardly moved.
From here, she secretly observed Adam, who looked the most casual she’d seen all weekend wearing a pair of light khakis and polo shirt and looking extremely sexy. He had gorgeous forearms, Sophie decided. He leaned over and zipped up his case. And a great bum – especially in those trousers!
Though she’d realised this early on, it dawned on her now just how attracted she was to him. This wasn’t a matter of opinion now, she’d always thought he was good looking. It came from inside her, itching, begging to touch him and be close to him. She ached because she couldn’t. Now she’d got to know him, his personality had won her over, he’d become more attractive to her. Could affection grow so quickly in a weekend?
She fancied the pants off him – like a lovesick teenager. Oh God, she was ridiculous.
But she hadn’t felt like this in such a long time – since Simon – and it was maddening.
Adam cleared out everything of his from the hotel room, and already it seemed bare, depressing. That heavy, void feeling inside her chest reappeared, tightening all the way up to her throat. Her heart was breaking all over again. It wasn’t Adam’s fault. It was hers, for stupidly getting attached.
They made their way out to where Adam’s car was parked. He opened the boot, put his case in and took out his golf clubs; a satisfied smile crept across his face.
“What?” Sophie asked, trying to hide all emotion. She wanted him to see her happy, unaffected.
“I’ve been dying to check out the golf course here.”
“I’m worried you’re going to be competitive at this.” Sophie sighed.
“I am very competitive.” He grinned cheekily. “So don’t let me down.”
“Do you even remember our conversation in the car? I’m rubbish at sports.”
“I’ll teach you. It’ll be fun.”
This was what worried her. Another session of close proximity with Adam to drive her nuts – all she needed.
“Roller coasters are fun,” she said sarcastically. “Well, let’s go.” She jauntily put her arm through his and they walked through the hotel gardens, making their way to the golf course.
***
Once those who needed to had hired clubs and settled the green fees, they all congregated at the first hole.
Adam observed the party. Natalie and Gareth, the newlyweds, were unable to keep their hands off one another. Cassie and her new man, Dan, were very similar, albeit a little shyer. Like Sophie and Adam in some ways, not knowing how far to go in such early days of a potential relationship. For Adam, providing these loving gestures to Sophie wasn’t exactly hard work. He wanted a relationship with Sophie, just knew it shouldn’t happen. His idea of a relationship was very different to Sophie’s. So he had a mere round of golf left of her time, then he would have to depart, ending their façade.
Make the most of it, Adam.
But guilt ate at him. He had found himself trying not to overdo the affection. Would Sophie read it wrongly? Would the others realise something was wrong between them? Sophie would have made love to him last night, and she’d confessed one night stands were not her thing. He didn’t think they were either, hence he’d stopped at that crucial moment. James had warned him, and rightly so, to treat her properly and he’d been about to break his promise. Having sex with Sophie would not have been a good idea, however much he’d wanted it to happen.
Sophie was different. He dated women all the time, and probably broke a few hearts along the way – usually when he saw things getting serious – but he didn’t want to hurt Sophie.
“Is it too late to join in?” Simon called across the green. Sophie scowled, not so much at Simon, but Zoe, who he was dragging along with him. Maybe the woman had taken Adam’s advice after all, and sought out Simon last night. They deserved each other.
He automatically pulled Sophie closer towards him. He’d seen Sophie fight with Simon last night – and thoroughly enjoyed watching it, he had no doubt she’d stand up to him again, but he wanted to show them Adam and Sophie were close, united. Sophie responded, too. She obviously wanted to make sure the message was loud and clear. Good.
“Yes, the more the merrier,” Gareth called, beckoning them over. “We’re partnering up. Men take the first hole, then the ladies.”
“She’s got a big hole,” Cassie mumbled into Sophie’s ear, but sharply enough that Adam heard too.
“Cassie!” Sophie hissed.
“Well, what’s she doing here?”
“I haven’t got a problem with it so neither should you.” Adam was relieved to hear Sophie say. She frowned at Cassie, her expression sincere, and Cassie shrugged and went back to Dan.
The men took their turns on the first hole, and it quickly became apparent they were all competent golfers. Adam realised Simon would be his closest competition, both taking equal shots. Let’s see if Simon can golf as well as he surfs, Adam thought.
Then the girls were up, taking a shot at the second hole. Gareth assis
ted Natalie, and it was instantly obvious she’d played before, she had her stance right. Her swing was unpractised, but it did the job for this fun morning jaunt. Cassie was up next. She dropped her sunglasses over her eyes and pushed Dan aside.
“I’m just going to give it my best shot,” she said, pulling out a club. Dan quickly gave her the correct one and she cringed apologetically at him. She wiggled her bum, poked her tongue out at Sophie, and, after a couple of attempts, the club met the ball, sending it soaring along the fairway into some rough. But it wasn’t a bad attempt.
Next up, Sophie. She looked nervous, wringing her hands and chewing her lip. Adam winked, taking her arm and pulling the driver out of his trolley.
Standing behind Sophie, he tucked her body in close, moving her hands with his. With the soft breeze, her sweet scent enveloped him, and her hair caught in his face. He swept her hair back over her shoulder, giving her a kiss on the revealed flesh of her neck. Goosebumps rose on her arms. Adam was riding on a thin line of keeping up the pretence they’d built this weekend, and not giving Sophie the wrong message. He moved his hands from hers, to her hips, softly advising position and stance. He relished being so close to her. His mind wandered, thinking how it would’ve felt, her soft, naked body against his … if he’d continued last night …
“Come on, you two!” Cassie called out impatiently, but in jest. Thankfully, she liked to tease and it brought Adam back to the present. Maybe Cassie could see how Sophie was reacting, her cheeks flushing pink. And if he wasn’t careful he’d have an embarrassing trouser moment. He needed to cool his thoughts down. He did not need his brain moving south ever again around Sophie.
“Adam’s making sure I do this right.” Sophie replied. “Aren’t you, honey?”
“I told you I was competitive.” He grinned. Once satisfied he had her in position, he said, “Okay, Sophie, hit the ball as hard as you can.”
He stood back and let her take her swing. First attempt, the club hit its target and the ball flew up the course and landed nicely on the fairway.
Sophie squealed, turning around, jumping gleefully, and kissed him. “I did it. I actually did it.”
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