He held her for a moment, mesmerised by her dark brown eyes, and her sunny smile. “I knew you wouldn’t let me down.” He couldn’t stop himself kissing her back, made giddy by her happiness.
Simon tried the same tactics with Zoe, but he obviously wasn’t attracted to the woman; he’d used her last night and maybe now Zoe knew it. Although they were trying to imitate affection, there was coldness between them. There was no coldness between Adam and Sophie. Far from it. He might as well be standing at the gates of hell, his feelings and emotions were running so hot.
For the full eighteen holes, this routine continued. Adam savoured every time he had to guide Sophie. There were some successes, and some blunders in the bunkers, but they all laughed and giggled, and teased each other.
They agreed on a swift pint and some lunch in the clubhouse to analyse the score. With the sunshine blistering, they sat around a large, sturdy, garden table, under the shade of an umbrella.
“Well, out of the ladies, Natalie was the winner,” Gareth proudly announced, holding up his pint. “But as a joint effort, I’m annoyed to say - I’m joking! Well done, Adam and Sophie. Soph, you sure you’ve never swung a golf club?”
“No, never! Crazy golf maybe,” Sophie said. “It’s all thanks to my brilliant coach.” She grabbed Adam’s hand and he squeezed it back. “Plus, he’s so competitive I was too scared not to do well.”
“Rightly so.” Adam kissed her cheek, then stood up. “Sorry to say this, guys, but I’ve got to go.”
They all grumbled, except Simon of course. He was going to be glad to see the back of Adam, no doubt.
Slowly, they all made their way towards the hotel, through the grounds, laughing and joking. It had worked; Sophie’s friends truly believed Adam and Sophie were an item. He held her hand, dreading the moment when he would have to let her go.
***
Sophie watched impatiently while the group said their goodbyes to Adam and, couple by couple, they went back into the hotel lobby, leaving Adam and Sophie outside alone. Sophie was thankful, because this way she could say her goodbyes and it wouldn’t be made-up.
Her friends were so taken with Adam. They liked him, thought he was the best thing for her. Would it be a shock when she had to tell them they were no longer together?
She’d worry about it another day. She could go a couple of months before telling them it was over. That would be realistic – wouldn’t it?
“So,” she said, Adam finally turning his attention to her. “This is goodbye.”
“I still don’t like the idea of leaving you here.”
“I’ll be fine, honest.”
“You’ve got my mobile number?” Adam reached into his pocket to dig out his phone as Sophie nodded. “So text or call me, because Cassie will think it strange otherwise.”
“Didn’t think of that,” she said, frowning. “But what if you’re in a meeting or busy?” With another woman … The thought brought her breath up sharp. Luckily, Adam didn’t notice.
“Don’t worry, if I can’t be disturbed, I always turn my phone off.”
“Okay.” She stared up at him, unable to look away from those blue eyes. “Oh, I almost forgot.” She handed Adam a little boutique bag she’d been holding on to. “Sorry, it’s not much, but I wanted to say thank you for a lovely weekend.”
Adam lifted out the bottle of aftershave. “You didn’t have to –”
“No, I did. And I noticed you were running low in the bathroom. Not sure if it’s your favourite.”
But it’s now mine.
Adam pulled her close, brushing a hand down her cheek. Were her friends watching? There was no other reason for the loving gestures otherwise – it’s pretend, Sophie. Pretend.
“Text me, to let me know you got home safe,” she said, kicking herself for sounding so stupid and weak. Adam didn’t do needy. But she would worry.
He chuckled. “Of course.”
He leaned forward, hesitating, a twinkle in his eye, she held her breath. Then he kissed her firmly on the lips, lingering for a moment, before pulling away. She’d wanted it to last much longer, deeper. It would be her last kiss – forever.
“I’ll catch up with you in a few days,” he said, removing his hand, which was resting naturally on her hip, and walked towards his car. His touch still lingered on Sophie’s lips, the bitter taste of the half pint of lager he’d consumed.
What was it going to be like going back to work, facing him, facing normality? Dread filled her.
She waved as Adam pulled out of the car park, and disappeared from view. She sucked in a breath, to stop the tears forming and ease the ache in her chest. Cassie joined her on the gravel drive.
“Come on, chick. It won’t be long and you’ll be back in his arms again.”
“Yeah, I know.”
Do I tell Cassie the truth now?
***
Severed.
The only word to describe what he felt. He’d been torn from Sophie, separated, his heart wrenching and aching from the mere thought he wasn’t with her.
Could you get that feeling after being with someone for a weekend? Three nights? Four days?
Was he ludicrous?
Had he gone soft?
He’d been driving for ten minutes, winding round the narrow country roads, headed for the main route out of Cornwall. All he could think about was Sophie and whether this feeling was due to knowing he wasn’t going to see her for a few days.
Why was he feeling like this?
He’d never felt like this before, not with any of the relationships he’d had. He never let it get to this. Never missing them. Never this empty, black, aching hole inside his chest.
Adam needed to stop thinking about Sophie. Work. Work would get him back to normal, busy his mind. He wouldn’t have time to think about Sophie. He’d call his father. Who better to remind him why he could not, and should not, commit to Sophie. His father was the one person who would be in the office on a Sunday.
Chapter Eighteen
“No more! I’ve got to go to bed,” Sophie slurred, perched on a barstool, waving her hand at Cassie.
Cassie had convinced her to have cocktails in the hotel bar, and Sophie had proceeded to drown her sorrows. Now the drinks tasted sickly, her mouth was dry from too much alcohol. Natalie and Gareth had left them to it an hour earlier, but Cassie, the local fish, considering the amount she could drink, had insisted Sophie sit with her. Dan had left, having work the next day, and so had Simon, for which Sophie was grateful.
“Oh, one more,” Cassie said.
“No, I can’t. I want my bed. I’m exhausted.”
Sophie stumbled into her hotel room; her legs like jelly. Glumly she threw her bag onto the dressing table. The room felt so empty without Adam, the bathroom cluttered only with her toiletries, the wardrobe half full.
She was being silly, melodramatic, and drunk. You’re feeling lonely because of the alcohol. But by God, she missed his touches, his conversations, his teasing. He’d made her feel so alive and happy with life. Now she felt dreary and miserable, with a heavy weight inside her chest, pressing against her breastbone, trying to fight its way out. Tears started to well.
Oh, you are drunk! Well done, Cassie.
She wiped the tears on her sleeve and struggled into her pyjamas. Getting into bed, she plugged her mobile into the charger, and was delighted to see a message from Adam. She’d tried forgetting it was in her handbag, so she wouldn’t stare at it all evening, willing it to ring. She opened the message.
Arrived home safely. Hope Cassie isn’t getting you drunk.
Sophie hit the reply button and texted back, oblivious to what time of night it was.
Thanks for letting me know. Can sleep peacefully now. Yes, Cassie has got me tasting cocktails.
She wanted to write, ‘love Sophie’, but paused. She signed it Sophie x instead and pressed the send button.
Miss you.
But she couldn’t text that. She put her phone down, and s
nuggled into the bed, pulling the covers around her. It felt so big. So empty. She rolled over onto Adam’s side of the bed, and breathed in the scent of his pillow. Damn, they’d changed the sheets. Fresh, smooth cotton, with a trace of the scent of the laundry – and not a hint of him.
She wanted to cry.
Still, she chose to remain on his side of the bed to comfort her. She tucked her arm under the pillow, and to her surprise felt soft material. She pulled it out and turned on the lamp, finding the grey T-shirt Adam usually wore until he got into bed.
She sniffed it, his scent instantly bringing him closer to her. A hint of the aftershave he wore, the one she’d bought him as a parting gift, in a secret way knowing he would keep the scent she loved.
Shrugging off her thoughts, she closed her eyes and silently thanked the maid for leaving it there for her to find. Not caring if she seemed like a small child, using the shirt as a comforter, she hugged it tight. Sophie wanted to cling to Adam that bit longer, and this would be her way.
***
Sophie awoke, clutching Adam’s T-shirt.
She realised she would have to return it; she couldn’t cling to it forever. What if he asked her if she’d found it? All sorts of scenarios went through her paranoid head. She’d wash it, then return it. She couldn’t hand it over unwashed.
It didn’t take Sophie long to get ready and pack. She wandered down to breakfast and met Cassie. They had a quick breakfast with Natalie and Gareth, then waved the happy couple off as they departed in a white, vintage Rolls Royce, decorated and trailing the traditional old tin cans and ribbons.
“Hope they don’t come across a tractor,” Cassie said, waving frantically.
Sophie sighed. The end of the wedding, and the weekend. She’d agreed to have a few days with Cassie, but a part of her wanted to go home straight away, to find Adam, to let him know how she truly felt – how did she truly feel? She understood why he hadn’t wanted to have sex, maybe even thankful he had stopped if he only saw it as lasting one night, not long term. If Adam had been interested, wouldn’t he have said? She’d already made a fool of herself once with a man; she wasn’t prepared to put her heart back in front of a firing squad again.
“What are you sighing about?” Cassie said, poking Sophie’s arm. “You’ll be back with him soon. I won’t keep you long.”
“I want to spend time with you. I haven’t seen you in ages.”
“And why is that?”
“You know why. I’ve been too afraid to return and face Simon.”
“Well, the less said about that bastard the better.” Cassie looped her arm through Sophie’s. “Let’s check out and I’ll take you to my house.”
“Great idea. And we’re not drinking anything stronger than coffee – you hear? I need to give my liver a rest.”
Cassie laughed. “Oh, you’re no fun.”
***
“You know where the second bedroom is?” Cassie pointed up the stairs. “Go unpack your stuff while I put the kettle on.”
Cassie dumped her own luggage – not having as much as Sophie – in the hallway, and Sophie headed up the stairs. It had been a twenty-minute drive along narrow Cornish country lanes as Cassie lived a few miles inland, in the nearest main town to Tinners Bay.
Her small semi-detached house, decorated in a modern style for the age of the house, suited Cassie in a nutshell.
In the guest room, Sophie only unpacked what she thought she’d need, hanging them in the oak wardrobe. She rummaged through her handbag to find her phone, checking for texts. No messages. Still clasping the phone, disappointed, she headed back down the stairs, solemnly deep in thought, and into the kitchen where Cassie was pulling mugs from a cupboard while the kettle boiled.
“You’re really missing him, aren’t you?” Cassie said.
Sophie swallowed. “I can’t believe I can feel like this after one weekend.”
Cassie frowned. “How’d you mean? Oh, you didn’t realise how much you loved him, and now you do?”
Sophie’s stomach turned to ice. “Well, we’ve only been seeing each other a short while. I wasn’t sure if he was the one but … ” God, Sophie really was digging this lie deeper. No one would believe her when she announced she’s broken up with Adam.
“But now you do.” Cassie handed Sophie a mug of tea. “I knew you two were perfect for one another. I’m sure Adam feels exactly the same.”
Sophie wanted to blurt out the truth but she couldn’t. One day, in years to come, when Sophie had found someone she was blissfully happy with, and like Natalie, tying the knot, maybe then she’d come clean. ‘You remember that hot guy at Natalie’s wedding … total lie … ’
She slipped her phone into her jeans pocket.
“Babe, text him,” Cassie said. “Don’t feel you can’t talk to him because I’m here.”
Sophie pulled out her phone and started a text message, hoping Cassie wouldn’t see what she put.
Hello. Sending text to keep Cassie happy. Love you.
She added a smiley with its tongue hanging out to emphasise the ‘love you’ was really in jest. Yes, it was. Or at least she hoped he would read it that way, and not literally that she loved him … because she didn’t … too early to say what she felt, wasn’t it? You couldn’t fall in love over one weekend – could you?
***
Adam noticed his mobile vibrate as the meeting ended. As he walked out of the conference room, he looked at the message.
It was from Sophie. It gave him such a thrill that it made him instantly want to bang his head against a wall. He was a grown man. It was a new experience – or a very old one. Maybe he’d forgotten how it felt. He didn’t get excited like this about any other woman. Why Sophie?
He smiled at the ‘love you’ and the smiley, pressing the reply button.
“Adam! Can you spare a minute?” Adam looked up to see his father calling from his office. The message would have to wait.
“Yeah, sure, what is it?” Adam slid his phone into his pocket and walked down to his father’s office. By the time he’d entered the room, Gordon was already sitting behind his mahogany desk.
“Sit down, sit down,” his father said, gesturing towards a black leather chair opposite him. These past few months, Adam had noticed him aging quicker. More grey scattered amongst his brown hair, deeper lines around his eyes. He looked tired. “I thought we could run through a few things to make this hand over go smoothly.”
Adam nodded, and listened to his father. All business, no pleasure. The man hadn’t even asked if Adam had enjoyed his weekend away. If they took the business away, the two of them would have nothing in common. He turned sixty next year. Adam had assumed Gordon would run the company for another ten years, as his grandfather had. How would his father cope with retirement, especially now he was being forced to take it early under his doctor’s advice? Gordon’s days revolved around work and golf at the weekends – which usually aided business ventures.
After he’d left Adam’s mother, Gordon had gone through a string of girlfriends. Adam remembered most of them, all beautiful because his dad could attract the finest of women. He probably still could, even now. Back then he had the mixture of good looks, style and money, but none of the girlfriends stuck around for long, tiring of the lack of attention. Gordon was too busy with work to commit to a relationship. He couldn’t give them the time they needed. It meant Adam wouldn’t be able to either. He never wanted to make a woman as miserable as his own mother had been. Sophie deserved better.
Adam swallowed and tried to listen to his father as he showed him charts and future projections for the company. Why did all of a sudden this become a problem? Adam had known his future before, and was happy with his lot. He loved his job, this company.
Why did Sophie run through his mind so much?
“I want you to handle the Jerrisons’ contract,” Gordon said, bringing Adam’s focus back to work. Gordon pushed the paperwork across the desk. “You’re more than capable, and I ne
ed to take a backseat. This way I’m still around if you need some advice, but I’m confident you can deal with this without me.”
Adam perused the documents. He didn’t have time to think about Sophie, he had work to do.
***
After a quick pasta dinner, Sophie and Cassie were sitting outside at a black aluminium bistro table in her small garden. Tea lights flickered in the middle of the table, hopefully to keep the midges away. With the sun setting late at this time of year, it wouldn’t get dark till around ten. They laughed and giggled through a good majority of the bottle of wine standing in a wine cooler on the table.
“You and Adam are made for each other, like Nat and Gareth,” Cassie said, pouring them both another glass of white Zinfandel, finishing the bottle. Sophie clicked her tongue, tiring of this conversation.
“Well, they’ve been together a hell of a lot longer. I don’t want to count my chickens. Look at Simon – I thought he was the one!”
“Simon’s an arse. Bloody hell, you found him in bed with that bitch. What a bastard.”
Sophie could tell they were drunk, or getting there; Cassie swore more. “I’m still not going to count any chickens,” Sophie said.
Cassie clucked like a chicken, making her arms wave like wings, then burst into laughter. Sophie found her infectious, giggling with her. She decided to change the subject. Talking about Adam was actually making her miss him more. Not good. Not good.
“So what about Dan?” she asked, raising her eyebrow at Cassie and sobering their conversation.
“He said he’d call,” Cassie said, sipping her white Zinfandel. “But I won’t hold my breath. They always say they’ll call.”
“I’m sure he will,” Sophie said, nodding positively. “He was a really nice guy, and seemed very into you when we were playing golf.”
Cassie sighed. “He’s a great guy. God, I hope he calls. And I didn’t sleep with him that night.”
“Really?”
“All right, all right, I know what you’re thinking. Yes, he did come back to my room, and yes we did have a good smooch, but I really liked him, and didn’t want to blow it the first night – if you’ll pardon the pun.” Cassie sobered, looking Sophie in the eye. “My mum always said men don’t like to marry the women they sleep with on the first night.”
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