I was too nervous to mimic his pose, so I sat up straight. “You’ve got a great place here. Very animal friendly with the cat and the fish.”
He smiled in appreciation. “Addie and me found Canvas in our alley three years ago. We adopted her. You’ll be surprised how many people come in here wanting tats of their pets.”
I snuck a peek at his arms. “How about you? Any animal tats?”
“I have a jaguar one on my back. I’ll have to show you it sometime.”
Why not show me it now? I ran my tongue behind my front teeth instead of blurting that out. The innuendo in his statement wasn’t lost on me, but again I might be reading into something that wasn’t there. He could be this friendly with everybody.
“I don’t think I’ll be getting an animal tattoo. To be honest, I don’t know what I want.”
“I have a lot of people who come to me who want a tat, but they’re not sure what type.” He sat up and bent over his knees, bringing him in closer to me. “Let me ask you this—how much are you willing to spend?”
“Up to five hundred.” I was willing to invest in a tattoo because it would be a part of me forever, but if he said more, near the thousand-dollar range, I might have to rethink the idea.
“I can work with that, but it won’t be an arm sleeve or a full back one.”
“Oh no.” I shook my head. “I wouldn’t go that far like what you have. I’m interested in something that won’t be too glaring or make me have second thoughts in say ten or twenty years from now.”
He tugged on his bottom lip. “It’s probably best if you get it someplace on your body you can cover up. But it all depends on whether you want the world to see the art. You’re still young, but I have a feeling you know what you want to do with your life. Where do you see yourself by forty?”
There were two things I wanted for myself, both of which were impossible dreams. I wanted to be an Olympic swimmer like Michael Phelps, or if I wasn’t strong enough to move to politics, I could settle for being a teacher and a swimming coach. But I didn’t want to settle. Right now things might be undetermined, but I refused to back away from what I’d wanted for so long. I wanted the best, and that would mean the ultimate prize.
I leaned forward slightly as if I was going to share a secret. “I want to be president of the United States.”
He tapped on his bottom lip with two fingers. He was so close I could reach out and feel… no, stroke his beard. If we were in a different situation and I knew for sure he was gay, I would have gone for it. But I kept my hands to myself.
“I remember your friend mentioning it at the fair. President by forty, eh? It’s going to take a lot of hard work on your part to accomplish that goal in the next twenty years.” Lines emerged in his forehead, as he appeared deep in thought or at least pretended to be. “You sure you want a tattoo? I can’t think of any president who had one or admitted they did.”
“Having a tattoo would be the least of my worries if I ran for a government position as high as president.” I pressed my palms together and folded my fingers on one another. “If I was elected as the leader of the free world, I would be the first openly gay president.”
He sat back in his chair, still tapping his bottom lip. I couldn’t say if his sudden need for space hurt, but it was enough to make me second-guess this conversation we were having.
“It’s good to have goals at such a young age.” He nodded with approval.
The young age comment stung. He made it sound like the seven-year age difference between us was a big deal. We were both consenting adults, and he was happy I stopped in. Maybe I had his signals all wrong, and he acted this way with anyone so they would become his customer.
“Based on what you told me, your goals are impressive. I don’t know many guys your age who own a business, and I can’t think of any openly gay tattoo artists off the top of my head.” I leaned back, acting more at ease than I felt. Although my words were congratulatory, their meaning was more antagonistic.
His hand dropped away from his face although his posture didn’t change. He was actually very still, his gaze direct and strong enough that it made me want to squirm in my seat and apologize for my words.
“When did you figure out you were gay?” His voice was much softer than before.
I didn’t expect him to answer with a question. Also no denial from him. I didn’t have anything to hide. “Ten. It was on my birthday, actually.”
“I think I always knew, but I told my mom when I was thirteen.”
The pressure on my shoulders vanished, and I almost laughed, not because I found what he said funny but because I was relieved. The last person I had asked was Jordan, who wasn’t as forthcoming as I was or how Benny admitted it just now. It felt good to get it out of the way, an unneeded obstacle that would have put some strain on this new relationship of ours.
Straight people never had this problem. I laughed then because I couldn’t imagine two straight people having this type of conversation.
“What’s so funny?” he asked.
“It’s not something I think is funny, but more of an observation—”
The phone on his desk rang. He sat up and also took out his cell. “I knew when I didn’t answer my cell and she told Addison to call her back, she would call here again.”
The phone stopped ringing, but he didn’t look relieved. The phone beeped as one of the lines glowed red. He picked up the receiver then. “Yeah? I had a feeling she’d call back. No… I’ll take her call. Thanks.”
I rose from my chair to give him privacy. “I’ll wait outside while you take your call.”
He laid his hand on my arm, keeping me in place. “No, stay. It’s just my mom wanting to know if I’m coming home for my grandma’s one hundredth birthday. I won’t be long.”
“Okay.” Maybe he wanted me to stay so his excuse would be more authentic when he told his mom he couldn’t talk for long.
“Cool.” He stood and turned the phone toward him. Leaning against the desk, he set the receiver to his ear and pressed the button to take it off hold.
“Hey, Ma.” He smiled, his expression pure happiness. He kept the receiver in the crook of his neck and cracked his knuckles.
“I’ll be there the day before the party.” His smile grew larger. “Yeah, my plane arrives pretty early, around seven…. Dad will pick me up? Cool, cool.” He nodded and then did a small fist pump. “You’ll make me huevos rancheros for breakfast? Awesome. Yeah… yeah I know it’s because you love me.”
He became silent while he listened to his mother. Every time he tried to speak, he would stop, and his mouth would stay slightly open. He rolled his eyes and rubbed the middle of his nose, making me laugh. Seeing him agitated gave me a different perception of the man, which was a nice change.
He straightened and waved his hand, as if his mother saw. “Ma, no don’t put Dad—hey Dad.” He rolled his eyes at me and mouthed help. I chuckled quietly, enjoying the show.
“I said I would be there, and yes, I’ll behave.” He picked up a blue stress ball and squeezed it. “I assume Aunt Lorena will be there also? Wanna place a bet she makes me go to church with her, Uncle Walt, and the rest of the kids?” He gave the ball another squeeze and then suddenly tossed it to me. “I don’t have a problem with Lorena, just her messed-up views. No, Dad… listen, I have an appointment waiting, gotta go. Love you and Mom.” He hung up and then exhaled hard.
“You hung up on your dad without saying goodbye?” I tossed the ball to him.
He compressed the ball in his grip. “Just with him. It’s a thing we do with one another. Sorry you heard that. My parents talk my ear off sometimes. And whenever they bring up my aunt, we get into heated conversations.”
“Sounds like me with my mom. I’m pretty cool with my aunts and uncles on both sides.”
He squeezed the ball a few more times and then set it on his desk. “My aunt can be a real piece of work. She loves to get on her pulpit and preach, but her skill at giving
speeches and enthralling the audience helped her get to where she is today. Good thing she’s not on the Supreme Court. Then we might all be screwed, but then again, where she’s headed might be just as bad.”
He talked as if I understood what he meant. He must really not like his aunt. “Sorry, did I miss something? Should I know who your aunt is?”
He shot me a disbelieving look. “Shouldn’t you know the who’s who in Washington since you plan to work there?”
“Washington… as in DC?” If I was supposed to put two and two together, I was failing.
He glanced at his phone and then stretched his arms over his head. “I have another two hours to kill until my next appointment. How about we get lunch, and we can talk more about the type of tattoo you want.”
“Why are you changing the conversation? Who’s your aunt?” I rose from my chair. “You want me to guess?”
“You’ll find out eventually.” He stepped toward the entrance of his cubical and paused. “My aunt Lorena is the first Spanish vice president of the United States, and a Jesus freak.” He held out his arm in the direction of the front of his shop. “Let’s go eat.”
This might end up being one of the most interesting lunches I would ever have.
Chapter Seven
“SOME DAYS I live and die by coffee.” Benny sipped his black coffee while I drank the popular blackberry mint iced tea sold by Nosh.
I let him pick the restaurant since I still tried to digest the bomb he’d dropped at his shop. I knew of Lorena Saiz because of her role in government, including her years as a conservative senator from California. I followed the bigwigs and rising stars in both the Democrat and Republican parties, as much as I knew the top swimmers in the country. Since the shooting, I spent the majority of my days watching cable news, and even C-SPAN, which was my crack, not that I would admit it to anyone.
“So, your aunt—”
“You like Nosh?” Benny interrupted after he sipped more of his brew. “Addison and I come here a few times a week.”
Nosh was on the same level as Arabica but had more of a diner vibe. More students from Maison went there, while the townies preferred Nosh’s home-cooking atmosphere. Benny looked at home here from the way he was welcomed by the staff and how he chose his own booth near the window.
“Me and my dad sometimes come here for breakfast.” I scooped up an ice cube with my spoon and slipped it in my mouth to chew.
“You’re lucky you have your dad around. I only see my pops a few times a year, during the holidays, since he lives in California,” he said.
“What part of California?”
“Yorba Linda in Orange county. Both sides of my family are from there.” He leaned back in his seat and spread open his arms across the back. “My mom is a Montero.”
Whoa. The Monteros were like the Kennedys of the West Coast. They had ruled California high society for a good century.
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but are you the black sheep of the family?”
He chuckled and drank his coffee. “There are a few black sheep on both sides. The entire world knows of my mom’s, but my dad’s family—Hayes is well known in that area because his grandfather—”
“Was one of the first to promote and sell solar panels in the state.” I raised my glass and tapped it to his. “I know more than you give me credit for.”
“You’re a smart guy, so I give you a lot of credit.” He sipped more of his coffee. “I bet you were high school valedictorian.”
For some reason the temperature rose, and I felt sweat pooling under my arms. I enjoyed compliments, always had, but coming from Benny it made me self-conscious.
He kept his gaze on me, making me lower mine to my glass. By now I thought I would be in one of his chairs with a needle to my shoulder. Instead I sat across from a man who made me want to soak up his every word. This was more than some crush I had on him. There was definitely a strong physical attraction, but there was something more underneath it all.
But I would play it cool so he wouldn’t figure out the growing secret I had for him. But he might be too insightful and put two and two together, if he wasn’t already close to that conclusion.
I took a long draw from my straw, allowing the silence to continue. He didn’t seem to mind, and nodded and waved at someone behind us.
He was so comfortable in his own skin, something I wanted to feel again in mine.
The area near my gunshot scar itched. I rubbed the patch of skin and hung my arm along the back of the booth. I would play the part like Benny, pretending I was in a good place, a normal place.
“You’re not interested in the family business? What made you leave sunny California for Pennsylvania? Why open a tattoo shop here?” I asked.
“I needed a change of scenery. It was easy to move because Addison lives here with her dad, my pop’s older brother.” He slid his mug to the edge of the table to signal for more coffee.
“Your parents and hers gave you the money to open the shop?” I was being nosy, but I didn’t think he minded since he didn’t even raise an eyebrow at my question.
“We own the building. We live upstairs in two units and rent out the other two.” He started playing with one of the sugar packets. “You’re dying to know how we had enough money to buy the building and open the shop all before the age of twenty-five.”
“Anyone would be curious. Owning property at your age is impressive.” I rattled my glass, searching for an ice cube to chew. “But you do come from a family with money, so….”
“True, but I’ll keep you in suspense for now.” He sent me a cocky wink and licked his bottom lip. “It will keep you coming back after I give you what you want.”
Holy shitballs. This was a direction I wasn’t expecting. My stomach tightened, and a shudder traveled below my belt, causing a reaction that was hidden because of the table.
He then slapped the table and burst out laughing. “God, your face.”
Our waitress chose that moment to bring our food—a turkey burger and fries for Benny and a bowl of vegetable soup and a cheese biscuit for me. Another server stopped by to refill Benny’s coffee, and both left, leaving us to enjoy our meals, clueless that I was hard as hell from his teasing.
He grabbed the ketchup bottle and plopped a huge puddle of ketchup on his plate, oblivious to my physical agony. He chomped on his fries and moaned. “Nosh has the best fries in town.” He wagged his fingers at the pile.” Want some?”
I clenched my spoon, trying to ease away the craving with my mind instead of by touch. I opened my legs wider and relaxed against the booth cushion. “I’m good with my soup.”
“You sure? You don’t look happy with it.” He dipped one of his fries in ketchup.
“I’m good.” I spooned some of the soup and sipped it. “Hmm, delicious.”
He coated his fry in ketchup, and his fingers in the process, and rammed the soaked fry in his mouth. He then licked the ketchup off his fingers. “I have a bad addiction to ketchup. Can’t get enough of it.”
I dropped my spoon in my soup, eyeing the puddle of red taking up half his plate and drowning his fries. “I can see that.”
“Based on what you ordered, I can’t tell what your food addictions are.” He eyed my soup like it would attack him.
I bit my biscuit so he would stop commenting on my boring lunch. He slowed down with his fry eating and took some bites of his burger, which oozed white cheese.
“I’m surprised you would eat such fatty food.”
“Really? Why?” He wiped his fingers with a napkin.
“You’re buff so you probably work out, like lifting weights.” I scoped out his arms again, even though I knew them and the tats on them by heart. “I bet most of your friends look like body builders.”
He chuckled and drank his coffee. “I guess you’re right. A lot of my buddies like lifting, I do too. But today is my cheat day.” He motioned at my soup with his mug. “Maybe you need one also.”
“I
used to have cheat days when I swam. I was captain of Albee High’s swim team.” I purposely didn’t bring up NCU and swimming there. It might lead to more questions from Benny, who based on how he treated me, had no idea about the shooting.
“You still swim? The new fitness center I’ve invested in opens next weekend. It has an Olympic-size pool There’s going to be a party tomorrow night to celebrate the opening,” he announced.
“That was the party the guy with the dragon tattoo at your shop mentioned?”
“Yeah, he was involved in the construction. It’s called Cutting Fitness, and it’s ten thousand square feet. The party is going to be lit but in a good way,” he said with pride. “There’s a small group of investors involved, around ten of us.” He then leaned forward. “Gio Grove is one of them.”
“Gio Grove, as in part of the G.G.’s singing duo with his twin sister Gem? They’re the biggest thing in music right now.” Talk about impressive. I wasn’t into their type of teenie-sounding pop music, but they wrote all their own songs and played various instruments. Both came from Pennsylvania, but to have them visit Albee was huge. “Are they singing at the party?”
“No.” He chuckled. “Their older brother is friends with Zyrell, who’s running the day-to-day operations of the gym. They’re here for a few days because they have a concert Sunday night in Philly.” He popped a few more fries in his mouth. “You should come. I’ll add you to the guest list.”
“Ah… thanks?” I hadn’t been to a party in forever. The last one I had been to was at a frat the weekend I came back from winter break. That was the night I made a big mistake and spent the night with Jordan, when only a few weeks prior I had done the same with John.
“You can bring a friend if you want, although I’ll introduce you to my crew so you’ll feel like one of the family.” He rubbed his palms together with a satisfied air about him. “You and Zyrell will get along since he’s part fish because he loves to swim. I can convince him to give you a deal for a one- or two-month membership so you can use the pool.”
Let Me Live Page 8
