TAILSPIN

by Jaimie Roberts

  I point to Charlie. “He started it.”

  “You shouldn’t have started anything with my best friend. He’s a player, Andi.”

  My father places his head in his hands in frustration. Devon leans forward. “Listen, I know tensions are high. In hindsight, maybe we should have said something earlier, but this thing between us has only just begun.”

  My dad looks up. “How long?”

  “Since New York,” I say.

  “I knew you going on that trip together was a bad idea,” my brother grumbles.

  “You’re being unreasonable.”

  Charlie stares at me. “Unreasonable is you two cavorting behind people’s backs.”

  “We’re not cavorting behind anyone—”

  “Okay, that’s enough,” my father says, putting a hand up to stop us. He takes a deep breath, shaking his head as he looks down for a moment. He looks at Devon and me. “What is this between you?”

  Devon squeezes my hand. “I love your daughter. Always have. But that love has recently turned into something more … real. It’s hard to explain. I know we’ve only just gotten together, but I’ve known your daughter for years—”

  “And that’s what makes you a sick pervert.” Charlie folds his arms.

  “Will you learn to shut your mouth for once in your life?” Dad asks. I smile, making Charlie even angrier. When Dad looks at me, my smile fades. “Your brother isn’t going to like this. I must admit, I am shocked. But you know each other well and have been working together for almost a year. I suppose it’s only natural that you would become close.” He focuses on Devon. “You don’t have to say anything, but I had my suspicions your childhood wasn’t the best …”

  “I know. I remember that time you approached me,” Devon says. I frown, looking at him. “Your dad once asked me about home. I told him it could be better, but that leaving wasn’t an option. Remember what I told you last night?” I nod. I understand Devon’s reasons for not wanting to leave home, but it still didn’t mean it was right. Dad never told me that he said anything, though.

  “The point I’m trying to make,” my dad continues, “is that despite everything, you made something of yourself. You served your country and now you run your own business. You’re stable. That’s something I want for my Andi.” I release a breath and Devon smiles. “However,” my shoulders slump, and Devon’s face falls, “Andi is still my daughter, and her happiness—as well as Charlie’s—will always be my number one priority. You understand that, don’t you, son?”

  Devon nods. “Of course. Her happiness is my priority, too. I would move heaven and earth to make her happy.”

  “You’re making all the right noises, but will you able to see it through?” Devon opens his mouth, but my dad holds his hand up. “I know what you’re going to say and I just hope you’ll be the man to do the job. Are you happy?” Dad asks me.

  I beam. “Ecstatically.”

  Leaning back in his chair, my father inhales. “Well, that’s the main thing.” He points at Devon. “Just don’t hurt her.”

  I see Charlie clutch his fist.

  “I won’t,” Devon begins. “I think of all of you as family. If I hurt her, I hurt you all. I could never do that. I would never be able to forgive myself.”

  My dad slaps the table lightly. “Good.” He looks up. “Now, where are your drinks so we can order? I’m bloody starving here.”

  I start laughing. “Can’t wait to tuck into your ravioli, huh?”

  He rubs his stomach. “It’s all I’ve thought about all day.” His face brightens. “Oh, here he comes.”

  The waiter sets the drinks down and we order. Because we’ve come here often, we all have our favourites—including Devon. Once the waiter walks away, I hold my glass up. “To Charlie. Make sure you come home to us safely, okay?”

  His frown immediately turns into a soft smile as he holds his drink up. “I will.”

  “To Charlie,” we all say before taking a sip.

  Twenty minutes later, our meals come. By then, the mood has relaxed a little. In the middle of eating, I receive a text. I take a peek down and see it’s from Ben.

  I’ll get to squeeze that shape I’m in love with in a couple days. You’re coming to see us off, aren’t you?

  Instantly, my cheeks flame, like I’ve done something wrong.

  Of course. I’ll see you there.

  I quickly pop my phone back into my bag. I can tell by the look on Devon’s face that he wants to know who it is. I don’t say anything and carry on eating.

  After we finish our meals, my dad gets out his wallet, but Devon stops him, insisting on paying.

  “Son, just because you have money doesn’t mean someone else can’t treat you.”

  Devon smiles. “I know, but I want to. I’m just so happy you’ve accepted that Andi and I are together. Now I just need someone else to forgive me and I’ll be all set.” He looks at Charlie, but he’s sitting there, stoic. I can’t believe what a bitch he’s being. I let out a frustrated sigh and shake my head.

  “He’ll come around,” my dad says, staring from Charlie to Devon. “If you keep making her happy, you’ll have nothing to worry about.”

  I smile at my dad, knowing there’s a veiled threat there. It’s just Dad being a father to his daughter. I can understand that. What I don’t understand is why Charlie’s still so mad.

  After paying, we say our goodbyes, telling my dad and Charlie I’ll see them tomorrow. Considering my brother is leaving in two days, Devon gave me the day off so I could spend the whole day with him. I’m looking forward to it, even though Charlie’s still pissing me off.

  As we start driving back, I laugh. “Well, that went better than I thought.”

  “Yeah. I guess it did.”

  Noticing Devon’s troubled face, I frown. “Everything okay?”

  He glances at me, offering a fake smile. “Yes, everything’s fine.”

  I know everything’s not fine, but I don’t press him. Instead, I stare out the window.

  “Who texted you during dinner?”

  “Sorry?” I ask, looking at him.

  “You received a text while we were eating. You seemed kind of … anxious when you got it. Everything okay?”

  I smile. “Everything’s fine. It was Ben asking if I’m coming to see them off on Thursday.”

  I watch as Devon’s jaw ticks. “You’re still in contact with him?”

  I sigh, knowing this is heading toward an argument. “After I met him at the bar that night, I saw him at the café the next day. We took each other’s numbers. At the time, I didn’t see anything wrong with it. I was single.”

  “But you’re not now.”

  “Devon, I know that.” I take a deep breath. “Look, you have to trust me when I say that this is the first I have heard from Ben since New York. The night after we got there, he sent me a message, asking how things were and telling me that his sister was much better. That was it. I swear to you.”

  “What’s wrong with his sister?”

  “She has a kidney disease and has to be on dialysis.”

  He looks sympathetic for a moment. “That’s too bad.”

  “It is.”

  “But I still don’t like that you’re in contact.”

  “We’re just friends. Nothing more.”

  “You weren’t acting like just friends when I interrupted you that morning.”

  I sigh. “I know, but things were different then.” I see his anger rise, so I twist myself in my seat to face him. “Do you really think I would have even entertained the idea of Ben and I if I had known how you felt? Don’t you trust me?”

  Devon grips the steering wheel. “Of course I trust you. It’s him I don’t trust.”

  I straighten in my seat. “Well, in two days’ time, you won’t have to worry about a thing. He’ll be gone, so keep your pants on.” Turning my head to the window, I sigh. For a couple minutes, we’re silent, then Devon grabs my hand, making me look at him. He’s smiling.r />
  “Listen, I’m sorry, okay? I’m jealous. I admit that. I just don’t like the thought of anyone stealing you away from me.”

  My anger immediately fades. It’s amazing how much Devon can change my moods to fit his. “No one is going to steal me away from you. I promise.”

  “Pinkie swear?” he asks, holding up his little finger.

  “What are you? Five?” I laugh.

  “No, but I can count at least five things I’m going to do to you once I get you home. But know one thing. This five-year-old has to be up early in the morning, so don’t wear him out too much.”

  I smirk at him. “I’m not sure I can promise you that, but I’ll try.”

  “Are you all set?” I ask Charlie as he places his rucksack down.

  He smiles. “As I’ll ever be.”

  “Hey, Andi!” I look up and see Ben walking toward us. I smile as he comes in for a hug. “You take care of yourself.”

  I feel my tears come as I laugh. “Shouldn’t I be saying that to you?”

  He pulls away. “We’ll be fine.” He nudges Charlie. “Won’t we?” Charlie nods, then Ben points to the coach. “I’m getting on. I’ll leave you two to it. See you later, Andi.”

  “Bye,” I shout, waving to him as he gets on. I turn around and see my dad and Devon standing behind us. I notice Devon staring at the coach, a vexed look on his face.

  Not wanting to waste any more time, I turn back to Charlie, who’s staring at Devon. I tap his army jacket. “Hey, no more of that now. I can’t say goodbye to you knowing that you’re still angry at Devon.”

  Placing his hand behind his neck, he rubs. “Listen, I don’t know if I’ll ever get over the fact you two are together. We had a pact growing up. No going after ex-girlfriends or sisters. He broke it.”

  “And if Devon had a sister, you wouldn’t go after her, even if you had feelings for her?”

  “Of course not.”

  “That’s easy to say when you’re not living it.” Grabbing his coat with both hands, I pull him a little closer. “Please, Charlie. I don’t want to fight. You’re …” feeling the tears build up, I stop myself. I look into Charlie’s eyes, his face softening. “You’re going to one of the most dangerous countries in the world. I don’t want us parting like this. It scares me, Charlie. I’m so scared! ”

  “Shh,” he says, pulling me in for a hug. “You don’t have to be scared for me, Andi Pandy. I’m built like steel.”

  I punch him in the arm. “Trust you to joke at a time like this.” I sniffle as he laughs, pulling me closer.

  “I don’t want you to go.” My face burns with fresh tears. I hate crying, especially in public, but I can’t help it. My brother’s going to a war-torn country. What if I never see him again?

  Gently pushing me away, Charlie cups my face and wipes my tears for me. “Listen, I will contact you every day that I can, okay?” I nod. “These four months will go quickly. I promise. When it’s all over, I’ll come back and then you can be mad at me again … once I beat your boyfriend up for a second time.”

  “Don’t you dare!”

  He laughs. “There’s my Andi Pandy.” He notices my scowl and pulls me in for another hug. “Take care of yourself, sis. Make sure he treats you well, or he’ll have me to deal with.”

  I nod into his chest. “I know. I will.”

  I feel him kiss the top of my head. “I love you so much. Don’t ever forget that.”

  Sniffling again, I grip him tightly. “I love you, too. And don’t you forget that, either.” I pull away from him and reach into my pocket, pulling out a little teddy I bought from the shop this morning. “Listen, I know you’re a little old for one of these, but I wanted to give you something. Something that carries all the love from me to you.” I show him the little teddy with hearts on its paws. “Just know that when he’s with you, I’m with you, too. Every step of the way, brother.”

  When he takes the bear, I notice tears welling in his eyes. “You know I’m going to get absolutely slaughtered when my mates see this, right?”

  I laugh through my tears. “I’m counting on it.”

  We smile at each other as my dad approaches “I suppose you’ve got to go.” We all look and see the guys saying goodbye to families and getting on the coaches. A lot of them, like me, are crying.

  I see the moment sadness crosses Charlie’s face and it breaks my heart. For a second, I look away because I know I’ll break down if I don’t. My father steps forward and hugs Charlie, giving him a kiss on the cheek. “I l-love you, s-son,” he stutters, trying to keep it together. Seeing my dad starting to break is too much to bear.

  “Love you, too, Dad,” Charlie says before he starts crying. I seriously don’t know how much more I can take.

  When my dad walks away, Devon steps forward. “Don’t get into too much trouble in Afghanistan.”

  Charlie starts laughing. “Telling me that is like telling me I can’t eat.”

  They pull each other in for a hug. Devon pats his back. “If you don’t come back alive, I’ll kill you.”

  Charlie laughs again. “I’ll have to remember that.” He pulls away. “You look after my sister or I’ll kill you.”

  Smiling, Devon walks over to me and places his arm around my waist, pulling me to him. “I think that’s a fair trade.”

  Seeing Charlie’s acceptance makes my heart soar. He smiles, then picks up his bag and waves to us. “I’ll call once we’re there. Love you both.”

  “Love you, too,” we say, watching him get on the coach.

  The doors close and the coach pulls away. Everyone is shouting and waving as it moves. Devon and I wave at Charlie, and I blow air kisses to him. I see Charlie pretend to catch one and place it on his heart before he disappears from view.

  Then I break down in Devon’s arms.

  I don’t know how long I stand there, but Devon eventually manages to drag me away, offering comforting words as he leads me back to the car. When we get to his Range Rover, my dad is leaning against it, his head hanging. As we approach, he looks up and notices I’ve been crying. So has he. My dad takes over comforting me, sitting in the back seat with his arms around me as Devon drives to his apartment.

  “Would you like a drink, Joe?” Devon asks when we walk through the door.

  “I’ll have a beer, if you’ve got one.”

  Devon nods, walking into the kitchen, grabbing my dad a beer from the fridge. He doesn’t have to ask me what I want, pouring me a glass of wine. When I mumble my thanks, Devon looks up and gives me a big beaming smile. I’ll never tire of his smiles.

  “That was quite the afternoon,” Devon says, clinking his beer bottle with Dad’s.

  “It definitely was.” My dad walks to the sofa and sits down. “You know, I never thought I’d see the day where I’d be saying goodbye to my son as he goes off to war. It’s something you don’t think could happen in this day and age.”

  Nodding, Devon sits down opposite him. I stay on the barstool, observing them. “We’ve lived without a war for seventy-five years. No wonder it’s hard to fathom. I suppose it’s because we live in this little bubble where everyone is for peace, love, and democracy. Thinking there’s a war going on somewhere else is just …unbelievable … I suppose.” Devon sips his beer.

  “You must have seen a thing or two. Didn’t you go to Iraq a few years back?”

  My posture perks up. I never knew this.

  “Yes. I actually almost got captured. They shot at my jet. I thought I would have to dive it, but I managed to coax it away from enemy lines. It was the most hair-raising moment I have ever been through.”

  Getting up, I walk over to him, placing an arm around his shoulders as I sit. “You never told me this.”

  Devon shrugs. “I had only been there a month, but when that happened, they sent me home. I was too stressed to continue.”

  Closing my eyes, I shake my head. “I can’t even begin to imagine how scared you must have been.”

  He places a ha
nd on my knee. “If I had been caught, I wouldn’t be here today. I thank God every day that I was spared.”

  “Amen to that,” my father says, holding up his bottle before taking a swig. “Let’s just hope my boy comes back safe and sound, too.” He looks away with a sad sigh, making my chest tighten.

  “I never had family to say goodbye to when I went away, but I’m sure if I had, my determination to make it back would have been tenfold. I know Charlie will be thinking of you every minute of every day. It’s what will drive him when he’s there. Yes, he’s fighting for his country, but he knows once he’s done, he’s lucky enough to be able to come home to a dad and a sister.” He smiles at me, my heart fluttering at his words.

  “Thanks, son,” my dad says. “I think I really needed to hear that.”

  Devon shrugs. “I’m just telling you the truth. Charlie has something to live for.”

  I nudge him. “So did you.”

  He laughs a little. “I know. I suppose I just didn’t know it back then. I must admit, though, I thought about you all when I was away.”

  “Really?” my dad asks.

  “Yeah. You and Mrs Bellingham were always so good to me. The memories I took with me were the ones I always shared at your house.” He looks sheepish. “I know I took advantage of you when I was younger.”

  My dad frowns. “How can you say that? You were just a kid. A very hungry kid. Meredith and I would never turn a hungry kid away.”

  “I know. I suppose what I’m saying is I guess I knew that and that’s why I took advantage.”

  My dad tuts. “You were best friends with our son. You never once took advantage of him. As long as you were true to your friendship with Charlie, you were always welcome around our house. No questions asked.” He shakes his head. “Now, I don’t want to hear any more nonsense about you taking advantage, okay?”

  Devon laughs, looking at me, then back at my dad. “Okay.”

  I tug Devon to me. Even though my brother is gone and I’m fearful for him, I have the most amazing family anyone could ever wish for. Devon’s a part of that family and always has been. I listen as he talks about his RAF days with my dad. I can’t help but think about how much Devon has encroached on not only my life, but my heart. Do I feel scared? Yes. Is it all worth trying for? Of course.