Artemis Fowl. The Lost Colony af-5

by Eoin Colfer

'Excuse me, if I don't take your word for it,' snorted Kong, tugging back the bonnet's frill for a quick peek at No.1 's face. 'If that Fowl kid is half as smart as I've heard, then he's sure to be trying something.'

  Kong examined the imp's face, poking the plate on his forehead, pulling back the lips to check the pink gums and square white teeth. Finally he traced the rune on No.1's forehead with a finger, to make sure it wasn't painted on.

  'Satisfied?'

  'Pretty much. I guess little Artemis didn't have time to do a switch. I ran him too hard.'

  'You ran us all too hard,' complained No.1. 'We had to fly here in a machine. I saw the moon close up.'

  'You're breaking my heart, demon. After what you did to my brother, you're lucky to be alive. Something I hope to remedy in the next few minutes.'

  No.1 twisted his head to catch a glimpse of the elevators. Artemis, Butler and Minerva were two steps away from the doors.

  'Don't look at them. They can't help you. Nobody can help you.'

  Kong clicked his fingers, and a muscular man joined them at the table.

  He was hefting a large metal suitcase.

  'In case you're wondering, this is a bomb. You know what a bomb is, don't you?'

  'Bomb,' said No.1. 'Explosive. Incendiary device.' His eyes widened. 'But that could hurt someone. A lot of some-ones.'

  'Exactly. Not humans though. Demons. I am going to strap this on to you, set the timer, then send you back to your island. The blast should at the very least put a big dent in the demon population. You won't be crossing over here for your little night-time hunts for quite a while.'

  'I won't do it,' said No.1, actually stamping his foot.

  Kong laughed. 'Are you sure you're a demon? From what I hear, the last one was more. . demonic.'

  'I am a demon. A warlock demon.'

  Kong leaned close enough for No.1 to smell his citrus aftershave. 'Well, little Mister Warlock, maybe you can turn this bomb into a bunch of flowers, but I doubt it.'

  'I don't have to do anything, because you can't make me go back to Hybras.'

  Kong took a set of handcuffs from his pocket. 'On the contrary. I know exactly what to do. I picked up a thing or two in the chateau. All we have to do is dig that silver slug out of your leg, and Hybras will suck you home.'

  No.1 glanced again towards the elevator. The doors were closing on his new friends.

  'You mean this silver slug?' he asked, showing Kong what had been concealed in his hand.

  'He took it out,' breathed Billy Kong. 'Fowl took out the slug.'

  'Took it out,' agreed No.1. 'Extracted. Removed.'

  Then he dropped the silver nugget and disappeared.

  Holly had been crouched on the mass damper watching events unfold.

  So far, everything had gone according to plan. Minerva had reached

  Artemis, and Butler had hustled them both to the elevator. At the other end of the bar, Billy Kong was doing his whole grinning psycho bit.

  When this was all over, that Mud Man would have to be mind-wiped.

  There would be quite a few loose ends to clear up, actually. Not by her, though — she was not LEP any more. After this she would be lucky to be Section 8.

  Holly tapped a button on her wrist computer, zooming in on No.1. The imp raised his left hand. The signal.

  This was it. Time to test theories. It was either hello again or goodbye forever.

  Artemis's plan was a risky one because his calculations were theoretical, but it was the only chance to save the demon island. And Artemis had been right so far. If Holly had to rely on someone's theories, she would prefer those theories to be Artemis Fowl's.

  As Holly watched No.1 drop the silver slug and disappear, she could not resist snapping a photo of Kong's face with her helmet camera. His reaction was priceless. They would have a good laugh over that later.

  Then she activated her wings, rising above the giant silver ball, watching for signs.

  Seconds later, a faint blue electrical rectangle began spinning at the silver ball's crown, exactly where Artemis had known it would. No.1 was coming back. Just as Artemis had predicted.

  Such a large mass of silver within three metres should interrupt No.1 's journey home. It should cause a momentary materialization at the summit, where the damper's energy field is most concentrated. You, Holly, have to be there to make sure this momentary materialization becomes more permanent.

  On the mass damper, No.1 's shape was visible inside the glowing rectangle. He seemed a little confused, as though half asleep. One arm snaked through into this world, grasping at reality. It was enough for Holly. She darted down and clamped a silver bracelet round No.1 's grey wrist. The ghostly fingers wiggled, then solidified. Solidity sped along

  No.1's arm like grey paint, rescuing him from Limbo. In seconds, where there had only been space, now crouched a shivering creature.

  'Did I go?' asked the little imp. 'Am I back?'

  'Yes and yes,' said Holly. 'Now stay quiet and still. We have to get you out of here.'

  The mass damper swung slowly, dissipating the wind power buffeting Taipei 101. Holly leaned into the sway, grabbed a hold of No.1 and took off vertically, careful to keep her cargo shielded by the seven-hundred-tonne silver ball.

  The next floor up was another observation floor, but it was closed for decoration. A single workman was slicing carpet for a corner section, and he did not seem surprised to see a muumuu-clad imp come sailing over the railing.

  'Hey,' he said. 'It's an imp in a muumuu. You know something, imp?'

  No.1 landed on the floor with a thump. 'No,' he said cautiously. 'Tell me something.'

  'I am not a bit surprised to see you,' said the man. 'In fact, you are so unremarkable, that I am going to forget all about you as soon as you've gone.'

  No.1 picked himself up, straightening his bonnet. 'You've had a talk with him, I see.'

  Holly switched off her shield, speckling into view. 'I gave him a blast of the mesmer.' She peered over the railing down into the restaurant.

  'Come here, Number One. You'll enjoy this.'

  No.1 placed his fingers against the glass. Kong and his cronies were creating chaos below, blundering towards the elevators. Kong was particularly perturbed, barging tourists from his path and overturning tables.

  'We probably don't have time for this,' said No.1.

  'Probably not,' agreed Holly. Neither fairy moved.

  'Hey, look,' said the workman. 'Another fairy. How utterly unremarkable.'

  Only when the Toshiba elevator doors had closed behind Billy Kong and his crew, did Holly turn to leave.

  'Where to now?' asked No.1, wiping a happy-tear from his eye.

  'Now, we go to stage two,' replied Holly, calling the elevator. 'Time to save Hybras.'

  'Never a dull moment,' said No.1, scurrying into the metal box. 'Hey, my first cliche.'

  Artemis and Butler had watched Minerva cross the restaurant towards them. She bore herself with considerable courage under the circumstances. Her chin was up and she had a determined look in her eye.

  'Butler, can I ask you something?' said Artemis.

  Butler was trying to keep an eye on every single person in the restaurant.

  'I'm a little busy at the moment, Artemis.'

  'Nothing taxing. Just a "yes" or "no" answer. Is it normal, during puberty, to feel these blasted feelings of attraction at stressful times?

  During a ransom drop, for instance.'

  'She's pretty, isn't she?'

  'Extremely. And funny too — remember that quark joke?'

  'I do. We must have a talk about jokes someday. Perhaps Minerva could sit in. And in response to your question, it is normal. The more stressful the situation, the more your body pumps out the hormones.'

  'Good. Normal then. Back to business.'

  Minerva didn't rush. She picked her way around tourists and tables as she walked steadily towards them.

  When she drew level, Butler placed a guiding and protective hand
on her back.

  'Get kidnapped every day, do you?' he growled, steering her to the elevator.

  Artemis followed, glancing back over his shoulder to make sure they were not being pursued. Kong was not even looking at them, so happy was he with his prize.

  The elevator opened and the trio stepped inside. On the elevator wall, the floor light was rapidly winking downwards.

  Artemis held out his hand to Minerva. 'Artemis Fowl the Second. Pleased to meet you finally.'

  Minerva shook the hand warmly. 'Minerva Paradizo.

  Likewise. You gave up your demon for me. I do appreciate it.' She blushed slightly.

  The elevator slowed to a smooth stop, and the steel doors slid open with barely a hiss.

  Minerva peeked out. 'This is not the lobby. Why aren't we leaving?'

  Artemis stepped out on to the fortieth floor. 'Our work here is not finished. I need to get our demon back and it's about time you knew what you almost went up against.'

  Chapter 12: HEART OF STONE

  taipei 101, fortieth floor, KIMSICHIOG gallery

  Artemis strode through the Kimsichiog Gallery lobby, flanked by Butler and Minerva.

  'We're in an art gallery,' said Minerva. 'Do we really have time for art?'

  Artemis halted, surprised. 'There's always time for art,' he said. 'But we're here for a very special piece of art.' 'Which is?'

  Artemis pointed at painted silk banners hanging at regular intervals from the ceiling. Each banner was emblazoned with a single dramatic spiralling rune.

  'I follow what is happening in the art world. This exhibition is of particular interest to me. The centrepiece is the remains of a fantastic sculpture. A semicircle of strange dancing creatures. Maybe ten thousand years old. Believed to have been found off the shore of

  Ireland, and yet here it is, in Taiwan, being exhibited by an American oil company.'

  'Artemis, why are we here? I need to get home to my father.'

  'Don't you recognize the rune? Haven't you seen it somewhere?'

  Minerva remembered immediately. 'Mais ouil Certainement. It is the rune from the demon's forehead. The very same.'

  Artemis snapped his fingers, and continued walking.

  'Exactly. When I met Number One, I knew his markings were familiar.

  It took me a while to remember where I had seen them before, but once I knew, then it occurred to me that maybe this sculpture was not a sculpture at all.'

  Minerva's brain raced ahead. 'It was the ring of warlocks. From the original time spell.'

  'Precisely. What if they were not blasted into space. What if one of them had the quick thinking to use the gargoyle's touch, to turn them all to stone.'

  'And if Number One is a warlock, then he is the only one who can reanimate them.'

  'Very good, Minerva. You catch on quickly. Young, quick and arrogant.

  You remind me of someone. Who could that be?'

  'Beats me,' said Butler, rolling his eyes.

  'But how did you set this up?' the French girl wondered. 'The meeting site was Kong's idea. I heard him on the phone.'

  Artemis smiled at his own cleverness. 'While he was thinking about it, I said "I'll be wearing a burgundy tie. Pay attention to that. There are a hundred and one ways this could go wrong. If it does, the police could tie one of us up for a long time." Do you see?'

  Minerva plucked at a curl thoughtfully. 'Mon Dieu! You used the power of suggestion. Tie pay. A hundred and one. Tie one.'

  'Or what Kong's subconscious heard: "Taipei 101. Taiwan."'

  'Brilliant, Artemis. Extraordinary. And coming from me, that means something.'

  'It was brilliant,' said Artemis, with characteristic lack of modesty.

  'Allied to the fact that Kong's second home is Taiwan, I was reasonably confident that it would work.'

  There was a harried-looking man at the gallery's reception desk. He was dressed in a neon blue suit, and his head was completely shaven, except for a spiral of stubble in the shape of No.1's rune. He spoke in rapid Taiwanese into a Bluetooth headset clipped to his ear.

  'No, no. Salmon is not good enough. Squid and lobster are what we ordered. You have them here by eight o'clock, or I will come down there, slice you up and serve you as sushi instead.'

  'Trouble with the caterers?' said Artemis pleasantly in Taiwanese, when the man had disconnected.

  'Yes,' replied the man. 'The exhibition is opening tonight and. .'

  The man stopped because he had looked up to see who he was talking to and spotted Butler.

  'Well, wow. Big. I mean hello. I am Mister Lin, the curator here. Can I help you?'

  'We were hoping for a private preview of the exhibition,' said Artemis.

  'Specifically, the dancing figures.'

  Mister Lin was so surprised he could do little more than bluster. 'What?

  A what? Private? No, no, no. Impossible, out of the question. This is important art. Look at my head. Look! I don't just do this for any old exhibition.'

  'I realize that, but my friend here, the large one, would be extremely happy if you could let us in for a minute.'

  Mister Lin opened his mouth to answer, but something down the hall caught his attention.

  'What is that? Is that a muumuu?'

  Artemis didn't bother to look.

  'Oh, yes. We have disguised our fairy friend as a child in a muumuu.

  Mister Lin frowned, and the spiral on his head moved. 'Fairy friend? Oh, really? Who are you people? Are you from Pop Art Today! Is this one of Dougie Hemler's postmodernist stunts?'

  'No. He's a real fairy. A demon warlock to be precise. The one behind him, flying, is an elf.'

  'Flying? You tell Dougie Hemler from me, that there isn't a chance in. .' Then he spotted Holly hovering over No.1's head.'Oh!'

  'Oh!' agreed Artemis. 'That's a fair reaction. Now, can we go in? It's extremely important.'

  'Are you going to ruin the exhibition?'

  'Probably,' Artemis admitted.

  Mister Lin's lip quivered as he spoke. 'Then I can't let you in.'

  Holly darted forward, collapsing her helmet visor.

  'I think you can let us in,' she said, her voice layered with magic.

  'Because these three humans are your oldest friends. You invited them for a sneak preview.'

  'And what about you two?'

  'Don't worry about us. We're not even here. We're just inspiration for your next exhibition. So why don't you buzz us all in.'

  Mister Lin flapped a hand at Holly. 'Why would I worry about you?

  You're not even here. Just some silly idea flying round my head. As for you three guys, I am so glad you could make it.'

  'You don't need to video us,' prompted Holly. 'Why don't you shut down the gallery cameras?'

  'I'll just switch off the gallery cameras — give you guys a little privacy.'

  'Good idea.'

  The curator had turned his attention to the pile of posters on his desk before the security door closed behind Artemis and his group.

  The exhibition hall was ultra-modern, with dark wooden floors and slatted blinds. The walls were hung with photographs — giant blow-ups of the dancing figures in the centre of the room. The figures themselves were raised on a dais, to make their detail easier to view. There were so many spotlights on them, that there was barely a shadow on the stone.

  No.1 absently pulled off his bonnet, approaching the exhibit in a daze, as though he had been mesmerized and not the curator.

  He climbed on to the dais, stroking the stone skin of the first figure.

  'Warlocks,' he whispered. 'Brothers.'

  The sculpture was beautiful in its detail, and yet horrific in its subject matter. It consisted of four creatures, ranged in a broken semicircle, in the act of dancing or recoiling from something. They were small squat fairies, like No.1, with thrusting jaws, barrel chests and stumpy tails.

  Their bodies, limbs and foreheads were covered with swirling runes. The demons were all holding hands, and
the fourth held on to the severed hand of the next in line.

  'The circle was broken,' said No.1. 'Something went wrong.'

  Artemis climbed on to the dais beside him. 'Can you bring them back?'

  'Bring them back?' said No.1, startled.

  'From what I know of the gargoyle's touch, it can transform living things to stone, and back again. You have the touch — can you use it?'

  No.1 rubbed his palms nervously. 'I may have the touch. You know, maybe, and that's a big maybe. I turned a wooden skewer to stone, at least I think it was stone. Maybe it was just coated with ash. I was under a lot of pressure. Everybody was watching. You know how it is; maybe you don't. How many of you have even been in imp school?

  None, right?'

  Artemis gripped his shoulder. 'You're babbling, Number One. You need to concentrate.'

  'Yes. Of course. Concentrate. Focus. Think.'

  'Good. Now, see if you can bring them back. It's the only way to save Hybras.'

  Holly shook her head. 'Way to keep the pressure off, genius.'

  Minerva was circling the exhibit in a daze not unlike her former captive's.

  'These statues are actual demons. They have been among us all this time. I should have seen it, but Abbot looked nothing like this.'

  Holly landed beside the girl, up close.

  'There are entire species that you know nothing about. You almost helped to wipe out one of them. You were lucky; if that had happened, a dozen Artemis Fowls would not have been enough to rescue you from the fairy police.'

  'I see. I said sorry already. Can we move on?'

  Holly frowned at her. 'Glad to see you've forgiven yourself so quickly.'

  'Harbouring feelings of guilt can have a negative effect on mental health.'

  'Child geniuses,' growled Holly.

  'Genii,' said Minerva.

  On the dais, No.1 was laying hands on one of the petrified demons.

  'So, back in Hybras. I just kind of held the skewer and got excited, then it started. I wasn't trying to turn it into stone.'

  'Could you get excited now?' asked Artemis.

  'What? Just like that? I don't know. I feel a bit sick, to be honest. I think the muumuu is giving me a headache. It really is bright.'

  'Maybe if Butler gave you a fright?'

  'It's not the same thing. I need some real pressure. I know Mister Butler wouldn't actually kill me.'