Bought By Their Alpha

by Bonnie Burrows

  She hung her head in despair.

  THE FINAL CHAPTER

  Quinn had shifted into his wolf form as soon as he’d reached the other side of the long hall. He ran in the opposite direction to the one Eva had gone in – he needed to get as far away as possible from the scent of her as he could. He ran, until he found he couldn’t outrun the emptiness. The gulf within him had opened up and swallowed every part of his life. He could feel nothing; there was nothing but emptiness.

  He howled to the moon, the sun and the stars. He howled his frustration, his anger and his anguish. He howled until his throat was raw with the power of his sorrow.

  Quinn knew only in that moment what agony truly felt like.

  He tried to outrun it; he tried to outrun the rift that was forming in his soul.

  He couldn’t run fast enough.

  The emptiness within him threatened to swallow him whole, and Quinn almost threw himself headfirst over the edge into it. Something held him back; as he threatened and warred with himself, he knew the woman he had fallen in love with would never forgive him if he lost himself to his pain.

  Even if she had never truly loved him, the Eva he loved would never condone his actions. He had to remind himself of that fact. Even though Eva’s love had been a lie, his had not. He had loved every part of her being, from her sunniest smiles to her darkest despair. There wasn’t a part of her he didn’t love – whether real or not – he loved her with his very core.

  Quinn pulled himself back from the brink of the waiting emptiness – teetering on the edge, ready to leap if he could only allow himself to. Pain lanced through every part of Quinn’s body and mind – he had never known emotional pain could translate into something so physical. His head roared with the things he had left unsaid, even as his heart thundered in his chest.

  He wondered in that moment if it was possible to die of a broken heart.

  Every plan, every hope, and every dream too, that he’d had for their future together lay shattered at his feet. His very worst fear had come true – he had lost the other half of his soul. And there was nothing he could do about it.

  Quinn had always known it was a possibility that Eva could never forgive him – but he hadn’t realized she hadn’t meant a thing she had said. She hadn’t meant any of it – from her words of love to her smiles of laughter to her touch of love. Eva had meant none of it.

  He howled again as fresh pain lanced through his heart.

  Quinn had given his everything, only to be left with nothing. That nothingness stretched before him, obliterating every good thing he had dreamt of or hoped for.

  Eva had left him, and with her leaving, had taken everything Quinn was with her.

  He wished he could undo it – undo the command for her to go. He wished it would have been right to command her to stay – to command her to love him. It was his own fault; he knew that. She hadn’t loved him, and there was no one to blame but himself.

  He could never be deserving of her love – not as a teenager, and certainly not as an alpha.

  Quinn felt himself slip deeper within himself, as he tried to outrun the pain and emptiness. He stopped short, as he crossed paths with the all-too familiar scent of Eva. He cursed, a plethora of colorful phrases crossing his mind, as his pain deepened. Her scent was dissipating in the wind as Quinn stood there, trying to drag himself away from the last vestiges of her that he could find. As she blew away with the wind, he felt his soul, heavy on his shoulders, shudder and wither within him.

  Night fell around Quinn as he waited for her to disappear completely from him; their bond would surely break as soon as she entered her home territory. Then he could disappear into himself and she wouldn’t know.

  The emptiness stretched around their bond, as though to highlight the last bit of Eva left to him.

  A lifetime without her by his side unfolded before Quinn’s eyes, as he waited. He knew he could never survive it; he refused to do so. There was no point in living without her; Quinn knew he would always be a shell of the man she had made him.

  There was no hope in Quinn’s heart that she would ever return to him – that she would come back home to his arms. With that knowledge, he knew he himself would never feel complete again. Her body had been handmade to fit to his; he would never find another who matched the shape of her.

  As the dawn broke, cold and slow, Eva’s scent disappeared like mist in the morning light.

  Quinn had kept vigil all that night, only aware of the pull of their bond. Nothing else mattered in his mind; he would wait until that bond broke before throwing himself over the cliff into the nothingness waiting for him in his soul.

  As the sun drove her chariot through the morning sky, Quinn felt the bond pull and tighten, but it refused to snap. Eva had to be near home, with the tautness of the bond there was no other way for it. Yet their bond held fast, refusing to break.

  Was it possible, then, that everything hadn’t been a lie? Was it even a possibility that Eva had loved him, in some form? Was there perhaps another explanation? Had he unwittingly used his alpha powers on her, to compel her into creating a bond that strong with him?

  Quinn shook his wolf head; no, there must be some other explanation. Maybe she was resting before the final haul to her father’s house. But certainly, their bond would break. It was inevitable.

  By the time the sun rode at her highest point in the sky, Quinn knew that Eva was in her old territory. Their bond hadn’t stretched any further, and he could feel her restlessness and, he imagined, her pain.

  It brought Quinn no measure of comfort, to feel her own pain, echoing his. He could never take pleasure in knowing that Eva was hurting, just as he was.

  His own agony blinded him so much that he couldn’t understand why she would feel pain – his only thought was that her hurt at his secret being revealed was causing her pain. She would come to hate him, and eventually, forget him. Of this he was certain.

  Quinn resigned himself to being nothing more than the ghost of a memory in Eva’s mind, when she would always be the very reality of his dreams come to life in his.

  Quinn stayed out in the woods for the rest of the day, even though Eva’s scent no longer lingered on the wind. He couldn’t bring himself to return to what had been their home – to a place now empty and devoid of her presence. Things would never be the same again; without Eva, there was no light to be found in his world. There was no laughter, no hope, no meaning.

  By the time night fell, Thomas had found Quinn, still in the same position, waiting for her even though he knew she wouldn’t return.

  Thomas shifted into his human form, and sat down next to him.

  “You don’t have to hide from me, Quinn.”

  Quinn tilted his wolf-head, as though in question.

  “I have seen you at your worst; shift so that we can talk, please?”

  Quinn sighed inwardly, as he shifted into his own human form.

  “She’s gone,” was all he could manage to say, dejection and despair clear in his voice.

  “Yes. I believe she arrived back this morning.”

  “What am I supposed to do, Thomas?”

  Thomas shrugged, as he pulled at the grass next to his feet.

  “You know, I once thought you were being an idiot for doing what you did. And maybe you still are an idiot, but the Quinn I know fights for what is his.”

  “She’s not mine, you heard what she said.”

  “Man, pull your head out of your ass. The girl wasn’t lying about loving you, anyone could see that, clear as day. Why do you think all the girls in the tribe backed off just after she arrived? Not only was it clear how you felt about her, it was crystal clear that she felt the same for you.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  “I do. I’ve spent enough time around her, and you, to know the reality of what you both felt. I’m not blind, and I’m certainly not dumb. The girl’s soul belongs to you. God only knows why, I mean, look at you. You’re a bloody mess. But
somehow, she sees past all that and actually loves you, regardless.”

  “She left,” Quinn refused to be comforted.

  “You didn’t give her a choice.”

  “I couldn’t force her to stay, Thomas.”

  “You could have asked her to stay, though.”

  “What kind of monster would that make me?”

  “Not a monster,” Thomas shook his head. “Don’t turn into a martyr on me, man. You should be fighting for her, go after her, bring her back.”

  “She knows where to find me; I won’t force her hand again.”

  “Tell me something, and be honest. Did your bond break?”

  Quinn shook his head, despair in his eyes.

  “You know exactly what that means; don’t ignore it, or pretend otherwise” Thomas said into the silence.

  “You’re talking about the stories my grandmother used to tell, aren’t you?”

  “She was a wise woman, Quinn. She knew more than she ever let on. You know that better than anyone.”

  “She never claimed to have the sight.”

  “Of course not, she’d have been burned for a witch if she had. You know Conrad’s father didn’t take kindly to such things.”

  “They were just stories.”

  “Where they?” Thomas raised an eyebrow. “Or were they truths that became legend? You and I both know full-well all legends start in truth.”

  “Thomas, you’re making my head hurt. She’s gone, and she’s not coming back. That’s all there is to it.”

  “Have some faith,” Thomas replied, smiling slightly.

  Quinn shook his head, not trusting himself to speak in that moment.

  “Come home, when you’re ready. Everyone is worried sick; the tribe still needs you,” Thomas said, to which Quinn could only nod. The last thing on his mind was the tribe’s needs at that point in time. “Just remember, the Quinn Eva loves fights for what he wants. Don’t let some misunderstanding be the end of your love.”

  With that, Thomas stood up, and shifted into his wolf form, to return to the village.

  “Thanks, Thomas,” Quinn whispered as Thomas loped off.

  Quinn sighed to himself, as he felt that nothingness creeping in on him again.

  He knew he would have to return to the tribe at some point; he just wasn’t ready in that moment to face the reality of an empty home, an empty heart.

  Quinn felt a twinge of pain, very much the mirror of his own, passing through their bond. Eva’s pain reminded Quinn of all he had lost, and threatened to overwhelm him. He took a deep breath, and another, and another.

  That was how he would take the coming days, he decided. One painful breath at a time; one moment at a time. He would breathe, breath by breath; there was nothing else he could do.

  *

  Eva awoke with a start from her nightmare, only to find it had followed her into her waking reality. She groaned, as she closed her eyes against the emptiness in the bed next to her. She couldn’t explain the feeling of bereavement she felt at realizing that Quinn wasn’t next to her. There was too much space, too much distance between them now.

  She hated that she could feel Quinn’s pain through their bond; it was a dull ache deep in her chest.

  Days had passed, crawling by; a slow, painful torture. Eva had hoped that with the days passing, her pain would pass, too. Instead, she had only become more and more aware of Quinn’s pain, echoing her own. It drove her to distraction – she couldn’t think past her own agony; to have Quinn’s added to it was a constant torment.

  Eva could find no peace in her old tribe; the faces that had once been so familiar, were now ghosts of a past life. The constant whispering that followed her had driven her crazy until she confined herself to her room, refusing to leave her father’s house. There was nothing here for her – she had left this life, these people, behind.

  Her old friends had tried to visit her the day after she had returned. It had been a joke – they no longer knew Eva, and she could barely recognize them. It made no sense, they had fit together so well before she’d left.

  Only now, there was nothing to talk about. All they wanted to do was talk badly of Quinn, which was something Eva wasn’t ready to do. She knew that things between them had started off in a strange, unconventional way, but she couldn’t deny that what she had felt was real.

  To feel Quinn’s pain reminded her that what he’d felt was real, too. Their bond was real.

  Eva could feel Quinn’s emotions as though she were reading the expressions on his face. She could sense his pain, but more than that, his deep sense of anger. At first, she’d thought that anger was towards her – but as the days passed, and the anger grew stronger, Eva knew that it was directed at Quinn himself.

  She hated that Quinn was torturing himself, when she herself held enough blame. She had turned and run, tail between her legs, accepting his directive to leave, rather than defying him and staying.

  She should have stayed, she knew that.

  When Angus knocked on her door, Eva didn’t even bother to lift her head off her pillow. There was no reason to – he was just leaving for work, she thought.

  Until his voice came through the door, “Eva, there’s someone here to see you.”

  “Tell Todd he can come back when hell freezes over,” Eva replied.

  “It’s not Todd, sweetie. You really should come out here.”

  Eva lifted her head, confused. She sighed, and climbed out of bed, not bothering to brush her hair or fix her oversized sleeping shirt.

  She opened the door a crack, and found no one on the other side.

  Eva grimaced, and braced herself as she followed the sound of the kettle boiling into the kitchen.

  A familiar figure turned to face her.

  “Thomas,” she cried as she ran headlong into his arms.

  “It’s okay, Eva,” he held her close for as long as was proper, before holding her out at arm’s length, eyebrows raised at her dishevelled appearance.

  “Why are you here? Did something – no, the bond is there,” she shook her head.

  “Quinn is alive and breathing, that’s about the best I can say for him at this point. Please, you need to come home, Eva. He’s lost without you.”

  “I can’t,” Eva said in despair.

  “You can. Just because he’s too proud to ask you to come home, doesn’t mean he doesn’t want you to. He’s afraid you’ll say no.”

  “He told me to go, in case you missed that part.”

  “He thought that was what you wanted, Eva. He would never force you to stay if that wasn’t what you wanted. He’s broken without you. He hasn’t shaved since you left,” Thomas pulled a face at that image.

  “He’ll be fine, Thomas.”

  “I don’t think so, and I don’t believe you do, either.”

  “What would you have me do? He paid gold for me so that I would share his bed. Why?”

  “You have the wrong measure of it, Eva. He paid – yes. Only because he refused to take land from a tribe that was struggling enough to survive already. He always loved you, there’s no denying that fact. But his aim was only to help your tribe – and if he had a chance to win your heart in the process, what was so wrong with that?

  He never forced you to stay. You realize that whether you returned home or not, the gold was not to be returned, under any circumstance. The only thing that was further agreed was should you claim each other, that a further payment of gold be given to your father, to ensure he was looked after. You were never a financial transaction to Quinn.”

  Eva inhaled sharply. Todd had conveniently left that part out. He had taken her for a fool. Again.

  She swore under her breath, a string of expletives that left Thomas pale at the images she described.

  “I swear, if I get my hands on Todd,” she muttered as she ran out of steam.

  “I would almost pity him. Almost,” Thomas smiled.

  “Where is Quinn now?” Eva asked.

  “I don’t
know, Eva. He moves through the woods, to a different place every day. He refuses to come back to the village unless there’s an emergency. And I can’t force him to return. He’s never run away from his responsibilities before. It’s not like him,” Thomas shook his head.

  “It doesn’t change the fact that he told me to go, Thomas.”

  “Does one moment of fear on his part negate your entire relationship?”

  “No, but –”

  “You left him, whether he told you to go or not. Just come home, Eva. Please. At least think about it. Your bond is stronger than this. Show him that you’ll fight for him, and I know he’ll fight for you again. It’s all he’s ever wanted to do.”

  “What makes you so certain?”

  “Eva. Have you ever watched him, when he thinks you’re not looking?” Eva nodded, perplexed. “Then you’ve seen him at his most unguarded, yes?” She nodded again. “He’s never been unguarded before, not for anyone. That’s all you. Give yourself a little more credit. Fight, Eva.”

  Eva hung her head, fresh pain lancing through her. She hated the thought of Quinn in pain; she hated that all she wanted to do in that moment was to run headlong into his arms.

  The pain was still too new, and when Thomas had left, Eva dragged herself back into bed and under the covers.

  Those days dragged on for Quinn, who spent most of his time running away from the emptiness. He knew he should return to the village, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. He couldn’t face sleeping in the same bed he had shared with Eva; he knew the sheets would still smell like her.

  Memories of Eva tortured Quinn in those days. Everything about her, from the smell of her skin to the featherlight feel of her lips against his, from her easy laugh to her flashing blue eyes, there was nothing he couldn’t remember. There was nothing he wished he could forget.

  Those memories saw Quinn through those early days, a sweet torment that he kept throwing himself into. He knew he should try to avoid diving into the memory of Eva’s smile; he knew he was slowly destroying himself each time he drowned in the memory of her hand in his.