5 From the Grounds Up

by Sandra Balzo

  'Why? You think he sabotaged it?'

  'It worked with Kornell. Was Ronny alone with the car?'

  'Are you kidding?' Sarah said. 'Mario hovered over him the whole time, pointing out the features.'

  'That's probably why Ronny gave up and came back early. He caught me nosing around in the florist shop.'

  'I chased both Mario and Ronny out, so I could pick up the rental car and get the kids at the airport.'

  'I'm so glad they're home,' I said, squeezing her shoulder.

  'Me, too.' Sarah took a deep breath and let it out slowly. 'Feels like things are getting back to normal.'

  'Yup,' I said. 'It's all downhill from here.'

  'I thought it was uphill that was good.'

  'Nope.'

  'But--'

  'Don't think about it,' I warned. 'Your head will hurt.'.

  The squad car containing Ronny started to pull away. He tried to wave, but the handcuffs defeated him.

  'By the way,' I said, watching him go. 'Ronny shook the flour from Art's apron onto the seat of your car.'

  Sarah looked sideways at me. "And the talcum powder?"

  'Do you really want to know?

  'Probably not, but when has that ever stopped you?'

  Good point. 'Remember when Ronny suggested that Art might be using the talc for jock itch?'

  'Yessss,' Sarah said cautiously.

  'Well, it was Ronny who had the jock itch.'

  Sarah wrinkled her nose. 'But how much was he using? I mean we're talking about it seeping through his trousers.' An odd expression swept over her face. 'I hope.'

  I imagined Sarah, imagining Ronny hopping in the Firebird sans pants. Should I let her . . . dangle? I giggled.

  'Oh, God,' Sarah groaned. 'It'll cost a fortune to have Mario re-upholster.'

  I relented. After all, the old Firebird was going to be Sam's car. 'Ronny's sock fell out.'

  Sarah looked like she wanted to smack me one.

  I explained. 'Ronny stuffed his pants with a sock. Don't you notice how well-endowed he seemed to be for a guy so slight in build?'

  'No, I didn't notice. He's my cousin for God's sake. Why would I be looking at his wee-wee? And while we're at it, why were you?'

  'I'm naturally observant.' I cleared my throat. 'Anyway, Ronny re-stole your aunt's Silken Petals from Clara the Klepto when he went to the Manor.'

  Sarah didn't say anything, still seemingly concerned about the wee-wee situation.

  'Presumably,' I continued, 'Ronny was feeling chafed and powdered his sock. He said when he climbed out of your car before sending it down the hill, the sock fell out of his shorts.'

  'Into my driver's seat.'

  'Yes.'

  'Anything else disquieting you want to tell me?'

  'Probably. Come to dinner and I'll fill you in on the rest.'

  'Not tonight, Maggy. I thought we'd have a family dinner.'

  'I am family,' I said, sounding like Kornell the first time--and the last time, come to think of it--that I'd seen him.

  'Besides,' I continued. 'Your kids don't have time for you. Look at them.'

  Sam and Courtney were on their phones across the street, chattering away.

  I said, 'Believe me, those two are going to be scheduled solid. They won't be home, except to sleep, for days. There's a lot of catching up to do.'

  'They weren't gone for even a week,' Sarah said indignantly. 'It's not right—'

  I over-rode her. 'It is right for the kids, Sarah, and also for you. You had it pegged last week. Sam and Courtney are going to leave eventually. You need to have a life that's not built solely around them.'

  Sarah looked weepy.

  I poked her in the arm. 'We're not going to start all this nonsense over. Dinner is at my house tonight. If the kids want to come, they're welcome. If Pavlik wants to come, he's welcome.'

  Shit, the whole world could come. I'd just get a bigger pizza.

  'Fine.' Sarah was watching the squad car containing Ronny disappear in the distance. 'Just one question.'

  'Yes?' I said gently. After all, this had been a tough day for my friend.

  'Where in the hell are we going to find a new contractor?'