Suddenly a St. Clair (The St. Clairs Book 5)

by Alexa Aston

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Mia splashed water on her face, knowing her eyes were still swollen and red from weeping so much. She was angry with herself for so many things and angry at Hudson, too. Why hadn’t he told her he needed to wed by a certain date in order to inherit his grandmother’s estate?

  She realized he wasn’t required to do so. She hadn’t provided a dowry to him. No male relative had negotiated any marital settlement for her. No exchange of financial information was provided, other than him telling her he was wealthy and allowing her to keep her finances separate from his. Being upset because he had asked for a marriage of convenience shouldn’t bother her—but it did.

  Did he have any feelings for her? She was the one who had asked for a different arrangement, wanting the marriage to become a physical one. Lord Almighty, was it physical and very active. Did Hudson only use her as a man did a woman he paid for the same services? Had she exchanged the rights to her devices for his right to use her body?

  The fact that she’d gone and fallen in love with him only complicated matters.

  What if she left him for good? She knew noting about how to obtain a divorce, only that it was difficult and expensive. It was certainly too late for an annulment. Oh, no—what if she were with child?

  She decided a clean break was what was needed between them.

  Fresh tears welled in her eyes and fell down her cheeks. Mia angrily brushed them away. She finished dressing, trying not to remember how Hudson had helped her do so each morning, telling her she didn’t need a lady’s maid when she had him. Her throat swelled with unshed tears at the thought. His hands touching her. His lips pressed against the curve of her shoulder.

  She left the room, crowded with several trunks of her clothing, gowns she cared nothing about. She’d taken them because she hadn’t wanted a trace of her to be left behind. Fortunately, George had carried the trunks out to the carriage and brought her to this boardinghouse. He’d promised to come for her this morning and take her to the warehouse.

  She hadn’t been thinking clearly, though. That’s the first place Hudson would look for her. What was important was to find space to lease today so that everything she was working on could be moved there. Mia couldn’t go to the warehouse every day and have him there. It would tear out her heart. She would also have to find her own solicitor, one who could act as an intermediary between them. Perhaps even Matthew Proctor could be the one her man dealt with since he also handled various business affairs of the St. Clairs.

  Mia left the boardinghouse. George stood on the pavement next to the carriage.

  “I don’t wish to go to the warehouse after all, George,” she told him. “I need to find somewhere I can use as a workshop. Do you have any ideas where I could begin looking?”

  He frowned. “Not really, Mrs. St. Clair.”

  Hearing him address her in that manner was a knife to her heart.

  “Why don’t we do this? Let’s stop by the warehouse and claim the latest notebook you’ve been recording your ideas in,” he suggested. “I’ll feed Nelson. Then while I drive around, you can keep working. I’m sure by the end of the day we’ll have found space for you to rent. You might also have worked out a new invention by then.”

  She hesitated. “Mr. St. Clair might come to the warehouse to find me, George. I don’t want to see him.”

  He thought a moment. “Then why don’t you wait in the carriage? I’ll run in for your notebook. It won’t take me long to retrieve it.”

  “And if he’s already there?”

  “Then I’ll leave. He’ll never see me. I promise.”

  “Very well.”

  George helped her into the carriage. She tried calming herself. It was still early. Hudson would certainly be up, probably making the rounds of his various relatives in search of her. Mia never would have gone to any St. Clair for help. It wouldn’t have been right. He belonged to them. Not her. It wouldn’t have been fair for her to divide the family’s loyalties. She fought back the tears, realizing she’d not only lost her husband but the wonderful friendships she’d formed with the women in his family.

  Perhaps she should return to the country. Her time in London had proven to be a disaster. She had no friends left. She couldn’t show up on her aunt and uncle’s doorstep. Their association with her had already tainted their own reputations. Mia closed her eyes, resting her head against the seatback. Her mind swirled with too many thoughts and she wished she could put them out like throwing water on a fire.

  The carriage slowed and then came to a halt. She kept her eyes closed, not even wanting to see the building. She’d spent many happy hours inside the warehouse among her inventions. Not just working. Time also that had been spent with Hudson dropping by. They’d built a strong friendship in a handful of weeks. Added to the physical attraction, she had thought it a good basis for their marriage. She knew now how wrong she had been.

  The door opened and she opened her eyes to reach for the notebook from George. Only instead of her driver, it was Hudson who bounded into the carriage. His eyes were bloodshot. His hair wild. He hadn’t shaved since yesterday morning and dark stubble shadowed his jaw and cheeks. He still wore the same clothes she’d last seen him in as they’d looked at the house where they would raise their family.

  He closed the door and the carriage took off. Mia knew George had betrayed her, just another of the many who had let her down.

  Her husband took the seat opposite her but he leaned forward and grasped her hands. She tried to pull them away but he tightened his grip.

  “Mia,” he said hoarsely, pain filling his eyes, “I was wrong. So wrong not to tell you.”

  “You know why I left?”

  “I do. It’s because of what you learned at Davidson’s.”

  “Yes,” she said stonily. “I could have accepted a marriage of convenience. Many wed for financial reasons. It’s the way of the ton.” She fought the tears that filled her eyes. “But you aren’t of them. I thought you were different. And I never expected you to lie to me.”

  “I’m sorry. I tried to tell you and couldn’t. I thought it would hurt you if you knew I had to marry in order to inherit from Cor.” He shook his head. “The thing is, I wanted to marry you even before I heard the terms of her will.”

  She blinked several times. “Go on.”

  “You know how much I wanted you from our first meeting. That’s true. Then I left to go be with Cor. She was the most important person in my life. Her influence shaped me in so many ways.” He shook his head. “She would be so disappointed in me now.”

  Hudson released her hands and sat back. “Marriage had never crossed my mind. Yet Cor pushed me, even to her dying breath, to find a woman to love and make a family and home with her. Once I heard the terms of her will—that I wed within sixty days—only one woman came to mind.

  “You.”

  Mia bit her lip. She watched him sag, his eyes falling to the ground.

  “If I failed to wed, Cor’s money would go to the Linfield School and Meadowbrook to Delia. I have plenty of money and didn’t need it. But I did want Meadowbrook. Some of my happiest times had been spent there.” He raked his fingers through his hair. “I told Jeremy that it was you—or no one. If you turned me down, then Delia could have Meadowbrook.”

  Hudson’s gaze met hers. “I wanted you as my wife, Mia. I wanted a family with you.”

  “Then why did you offer me a marriage of convenience?” she asked, her voice trembling.

  He smiled wryly. “Because you said you never wanted to wed. I thought if I gave you a way to gain your freedom, it would be a start. That the friendship that had begun between us might eventually become more.” He shook his head. “I’d planned to steal a few kisses from you on our honeymoon, hoping to plant the seed in your head that the possibility of having a complete marriage might work.”

  “And then I came to your bed and told you I wanted you.”

  “You did,” he said softly. “It was the happies
t moment of my life. Until we made love. I knew then you were made for me. That destiny had brought us together.”

  He moved to sit next to her. “I was a fool, Mia. By the time I even remembered the terms of the will, enough time had passed that I thought you would be hurt or bitter if I told you.” Hudson took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. “I also was foolish enough not to tell you I loved you.”

  “What?”

  “I love you. I know it may be too late for us. I lied to you. I know how much honesty means to you. I’m not even sure I should tell you that I love you. I feel I’ve lost the right to do so.” He took her hands again. “But I can’t hide the way I feel. I love you. I don’t expect the same from you. Not after the way I’ve behaved. You’ve already left and I understand why. We can go our separate ways if that’s what you truly wish. Take Bromwell’s house as your own. I’ll settle an income on you. I’ll—”

  “You would give up on us that easily?” she asked angrily. “You found me. You’ve told me you love me. And then you’re willing to walk away without a fight?”

  Hudson looked at her, his eyes filled with misery—and a small glimmer of hope.

  “I don’t want to give up. I don’t want to let you go. I’m trying to do the gentlemanly thing and set you free.”

  Her eyebrows arched. “Are you a gentleman, Hudson St. Clair?”

  “No,” he said, his eyes glittering. “I’m a bastard. Dressed in a gentleman’s clothes, yes. But I’m ruthless and go after what I want. I take no prisoners and have fought hard for everything I have.”

  “What if I told you that I love you?” she challenged.

  His jaw dropped as her words rendered him speechless for a moment. Then a smile broke out across his handsome face.

  “I would say you show bloody poor judgment, Mrs. St. Clair. To love an idiot bastard like me.” He snagged her waist and pulled her onto his lap. “But who am I to tell you how to feel? If you love me—and I love you—nothing else should matter.”

  His hand cupped her nape. “I’ve made mistakes. I’ll probably make many more. I promise you, Mia, I’ll never make the same one twice. I will always tell you the truth, no matter how much I think it will hurt or upset you.”

  Her hands cradled his face. “I promise I will always listen to you and not jump to conclusions or run away. I may be angry or disappointed but I will always talk things through with you.” She brushed her lips against his. “I’m afraid we’re stuck with each other.”

  “Mia,” he said with such fierce tenderness that she ached. “My darling, sweet, forgiving, beautiful Mia. I love you. More now because you love me in all my imperfection. I plan to make it up to you, darling. Every day from now through eternity.”

  Her husband kissed her, his whiskers rough against her skin. It didn’t matter. She had him back. For good. They would never let any misunderstanding come between them again. He loved her. She loved him. They were in this together. Just as their vows had said, for better or for worse. She was ready to put the worse behind them and focus on their future.

  His kisses became more urgent. She opened to him, loving the feel of his tongue warring with hers, his hands running up and down her back. Her body—her very blood—heated at his touch, needing it as flowers needed the rain. She stroked his chest and let her hands glide downward, undoing his fall. She hiked her skirts up and settled herself over him, riding him as he’d taught her to do. Her hands tightened on his shoulders as she moved, feeling him inside her, where he belonged. When she came, he came with her, their cries of passion and pleasure mingling together.

  Mia collapsed atop him, her head falling to his shoulder, her palms resting against his chest, feeling the wild beating of his heart.

  Hudson stroked her cheek. “I love you,” he said. “I feel whole being able to say those words aloud.” He kissed her hair. “You have made me a better man, my love. But there’s something else I must tell you now. I want no more secrets between us.”

  She stiffened, not ready to be hit with more painful news, wondering what else her husband had hidden from her. Still, if they were to be open with one another, she needed to hear what he had to say. Mia determined whatever it was, they would see it through. Together.

  “I’m not sure you’ll be happy with me. If you aren’t, I’ll abandon my plans.”

  She raised her head, staring deep into his eyes, their bodies still joined.

  “I wanted to hurt your cousin as much as he hurt you. You were defenseless and he took everything away from you. I’ve being planning my revenge on him ever since the day I rode away from Morris Park, seeing he burned your creations. I wanted to ruin him, then and there.”

  The vehemence of his words startled her. “The only thing Cousin Horatio kept that meant anything to me was a locket that Mama gave me. It’s all right, Hudson. I have you. We have each other. Please,” she begged. “I don’t want you caught up in some scheme on my behalf. I don’t care anything about him or his awful wife. Whatever you’ve done, can it be undone?”

  He kissed her brow. “It can. Actually, I won’t act upon it.”

  “Good,” she said firmly. “Revenge is not something I care for.”

  “He’ll do himself in, at any rate.”

  “What had you planned to do?” Mia asked.

  “He was in heavy debt before he wed Lady Hortense. She apparently paid those off. Instead of counting his blessings and staying away from the gaming tables, Morrison has returned with a vengeance. He has suffered heavy losses at three gaming hells that I know of. I bought all of his markers from those houses, giving them half of what was owed to them, and was going to wait for the right time to call them in. They were smart enough to know they might never see a farthing and took my money without question.”

  “I will pay you back,” she said solemnly. “You bought his debts on my behalf.”

  Hudson kissed her. “You don’t have to do that.”

  “I want to. It’s a point of pride.”

  He grinned. “I suppose I could sell them to you.”

  “Oh? Are we involved in a negotiation?” she asked, not bothering to hide her own smile.

  He kissed the tip of her nose. “You could work off the markers. A little each night. Or a lot, depending upon our mood.”

  Mia chuckled. “Hudson St. Clair, that almost sounds as if you’re blackmailing me.”

  “No. Merely giving you a way to pay for the markers. I believe we can think of all kinds of ways for you to collect them from me. Perhaps I might even look at that famous family book and see if that gives me any ideas on how you can work off this debt.” He sighed. “It might take years before you do.”

  She ran her fingers through his hair. “Never has a debtor been so ready to pay a debt,” she proclaimed happily.

  “Then we better go home so you can get started.”

  Hudson tapped on the carriage’s roof, signaling George to return home.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  They arrived home. Hudson gave Mia a last kiss before George opened the carriage door. Mia noted the sheepish look on the driver’s face.

  “I would do it all again, Mrs. St. Clair,” George said. “You and Mr. St. Clair belong together.”

  Hudson grinned. “You have a job for life as far as I’m concerned, George.” He took her hand. “We won’t be needing you the rest of the day.”

  “Wait,” she said. “Aren’t we supposed to meet Lord Bromwell at three o’clock this afternoon?”

  “Blast! I’d already forgotten.” He raised their joined hands and kissed her fingers. “I’ll pay for the house if you promise to hire all the servants, not just Annie.” Hudson looked to George. “We’re buying a house. I still don’t think that I need a valet but you’re welcome to that job. Or any you’d like. Butler. Maid. Cook.”

  George chuckled. “While I’m flattered, Mr. St. Clair, my preference is to remain as Mrs. St. Clair’s assistant. I have come to find her work fascinating. That is, if you still wish me to serve in t
hat capacity.”

  “Of course, I do,” she replied. “In fact, we may need to hire another person. An assistant to you. We’ll have room here to expand, relocating everything from the warehouse.”

  George looked incredibly pleased. “When will things need to be moved? I can arrange that for you.”

  She looked at Hudson. “What do you think?”

  “I think the sooner, the better. The house will be ours by the end of the day. Tomorrow morning, we could start shifting things around. I’m sure we can borrow some of the family’s servants to help move any furniture from here that we want to keep.”

  “Then I will leave now and arrange for workers at the warehouse to move Mrs. St. Clair’s machines at noon tomorrow,” George said. “That will give you a chance for some room to be freed up here. I’ll be back to take you to your afternoon appointment.”

  “Oh, George, would you retrieve my trunks from the boardinghouse?”

  “I can do that and will settle the bill, as well.”

  The servant climbed back into the driver’s seat and took up the reins as Hudson led Mia inside. Once the door was closed, he swept her into his arms and took her to bed.

  “It’s never too soon to begin working off your debt, Mrs. St. Clair.”

  She spent several memorable hours chipping away at it.

  “I suppose I should be grateful that my cousin has amassed so much debt,” she told Hudson after a last session of lovemaking. “Will you tear up a marker each time I work some of it off?” she teased.

  Hudson laughed. “At the rate we’re going, you’ll have it paid off far too fast to satisfy me.”

  “Good. Then once I become a habit to you, I won’t be so easily shaken.”

  His gaze penetrated hers. “You are a habit of a lifetime, my love. One I will never grow tired of. I love you so much.”

  His searing kiss spoke of his love and Mia was happy to return it, pouring all her love for him into another kiss.

  By the time George returned, they were dressed and ready to leave. The meeting with Lord Bromwell and his solicitor went smoothly and the viscount handed over the keys.