“Think? Poor pup. Do I need to teach you how to pleasure a woman? Let’s see, you’ll need to make sure I’m wet. To do that, you’re going to want to play with my clit, pinch it between your fingers and maybe even your teeth. Don’t be gentle. I want it rough. I want you to fuck me hard, Finn. Think you can do that, Heir?”
He had her on her back on the bed and her shorts on the floor in the next breath. She tried to catch her breath, but in the next moment, she had her hands tangled in Finn’s hair as he licked up her seam.
“You’re so fucking sweet,” Finn growled against her clit and she almost came, forcing herself to hold back so she could take more of him. She didn’t want it to end too soon.
He spread her thighs, licking her pussy like he couldn’t get enough. The flat of his tongue took long swipes before flicking her clit. She shuddered, so close to release she could taste it. She gripped his head harder, and he hummed against her at the same time, sliding two fingers inside her, curving them so they hit her at the perfect spot.
Her back bowed off the bed, her body shaking as she came hard against his face. Pleasure shot through her, her limbs going numb before burning with too many sensations at once. Finn moved, hovering over her and stripping off her top as she came down. He must have taken off his pants at some point because he had his cock at her entrance, poised to take her.
She opened her eyes, licked her lips, and gripped his biceps. “Yes. Please. Now, Finn. Now.”
He swallowed hard, a flicker of hope and fear mixing with the lust in his gaze. She lifted her legs and wrapped them around his waist. He leaned on his forearms around her head and kissed her.
Just a brush of lips, a sweet caress of promise and dare she hope…love.
She arched, and he entered her slowly, oh so slowly. He stretched her, his cock wide and long, perfect for her. It burned slightly, but she relished it. This was her Finn, her Finn. She had him inside her after far too long of watching him without knowing what would happen. She’d pined for him, and now she had him. She’d taken the risk, and she would never regret this. She couldn’t. Not when she had the man she loved in her arms, deep inside her, connected like she had never done before.
He pumped in and out of her, their gazes never wavering. He didn’t go slow now, no, he slammed into her at an ever-increasing pace as they went higher and higher.
“Finn,” she whispered. She turned her neck to the side, and he groaned.
His fangs slid into her neck, marking her wolf as his. She waited for the snap of the bond, the pleasure that came with having him mark her.
It never came.
Instead of wallowing, she pushed away the agony of what she knew to be true and let him move her head once he’d licked the wounds. She met his gaze, saw the knowing inside, and choked back a sob. When her fangs elongated, she bit down on the juncture between his shoulder and neck, marking him as her own.
Finn was hers.
Damn the bonds.
Damn the broken fractures that a demon with no sense of life and love had created.
She slid her fangs back out and licked the wound, aware she only felt the love she had for Finn. The shocking lack of anything else brought her crashing down from any high she might have had.
Finn cursed then growled, sliding his hand between them both. “Don’t give up on us, Brynn. Don’t give up on me.”
She met his gaze and let the pleasure of his words, of his touch, wash over her and she came with him. He filled her, body yet no soul. The second snap of the bond should have happened then, but the hollowness in her heart told her it hadn’t.
Finn hovered above her, still deep inside her as he fought to catch his breath. She met the jade green of his eyes and knew what she should have known from the beginning. Or maybe she’d known all along and had lied to herself once again.
There was no bond.
There was no future with the man in her arms.
There was nothing.
Chapter Eleven
Finn slid out of Brynn, his heart breaking for not only himself, but also the woman beneath him. His body still shook from his release and the utter beauty of what they’d just done. He wasn’t a romantic, wasn’t a man who discussed his feelings beyond a certain extent, but he wanted to tell her everything, let her know exactly what he was thinking. He’d known she’d be special to him, that he’d become addicted once he had one taste.
But it wasn’t just her taste.
It was her.
She was his, as he was hers.
Only his wolf wouldn’t complete the bond.
Things would work out, he promised himself. They had to. Because he couldn’t think of another outcome, not with the woman beneath him. Before he could hold her, bring her close and tell her everything would be okay and they would find a way to make their mating work, she scurried out from under him and crawled off the bed.
“Brynn.” His voice didn’t break, but it was damn close.
She turned her back to him, her body shaking.
“Don’t.” The tears in her voice broke him once more.
He sat up, his hands shaking. “Talk to me. Please don’t go like this. Don’t make me go. This can’t be the end. We can try other things.”
Brynn turned to him, tears on her cheeks but not in her eyes. The lack of emotion inside went through him like a sharp blade, deeper than any other tear or sob she could have shown.
She’d given up.
She was going to push him away.
He scrambled off the bed and cupped her face. “Please don’t make me go. I love you.” He knew it was the truth as soon as he said it. It wasn’t a last ditch effort. It was his heart, his soul. He loved Brynn Brentwood, and now he was going to lose her. “I love you, Brynn. I want you. I want everything with you.”
She blinked at him and bit her lip. “We can’t. You don’t have the bond, Finn. You can’t feel it. I can’t feel it with you either because it needs both of us. I’m dying inside. Can’t you get that? Can’t you see that every time we make love, every time you touch me, I’ll need more? I’ll just be reminded of the fact that we could have had something more and that I’m not going to get it. I don’t know if I could go on knowing that we are so close to having everything and yet have nothing at all. I need more, Finn. More than you can give. It’s killing me.” Her voice broke, and he knew she was on the verge of tears. It was sheer will alone that she wouldn’t cry just then. Not in front of him.
“I’m not enough,” he whispered, knowing the truth of the matter.
She shook her head, her face bleak. “It can’t be. Every time I’m near you, I break. I can’t do that.” She took a step back from him, naked, her eyes hollow. “I thought I could. I thought I could go on and be with you without the bond. But we’re not human, Finn.” She paused. “This wasn’t a mistake. I will never regret this because if I did, then I’d die a little more inside. But I can’t be with you and know there is no future. We can’t have kids without the bond, Finn. We can’t have a true mating. We can’t be recognized under the moon with our Alphas. We are from two different Packs and don’t have a bond between us. I’ve never felt your wolf, and now I know I never will.”
He swallowed hard. There was nothing more he could do just then. He couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe.
Finally, he took a staggered breath. “I’ll go, Brynn.”
Her lower lip wobbled, and she nodded.
He took a step forward and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. That she didn’t move back, told him that this was the end for her. “I love you.” She didn’t say it back.
And with that, he left.
Left the woman who should have been his, should have been bonded to him body and soul. The demon had broken him, twisted him up so deeply inside that he’d never stood a chance at a future with the one woman he loved.
The only woman he’d ever love.
She was his, and he couldn’t have her.
Fate fucking sucked.
He pulled o
n his sweats and walked barefoot and shirtless outside, ignoring the looks and growls. His shoulder bore Brynn’s mark, but no one would be able to feel a bond that wasn’t there.
No one spoke to him as he got through the wards and went to his car. He drove in silence, his brain acting on autopilot. Somehow, he’d gotten it into his head that if he made it home, made it to the Redwoods, he’d find a way to make it work, or at least make it through the pain. He’d find a way to fix it all. But he wasn’t sure he’d be able to find it.
His body shook, his sweat-slick skin growing cold in the cool air. He could scent Brynn on his skin, deep in his pores. He wasn’t sure if he wanted it to wash away so he wouldn’t be tempted by the agony of what could have been, or for the scent to stay so he would never have her gone from him in truth.
He just didn’t know anymore.
He drove through the Redwood wards and made his way to Hannah’s home before he’d even thought about where he was going. The Healer had saved his life once before, maybe she could do it again.
It was all he could think of.
He needed Brynn in his life, and now that he’d had a taste of her, he knew he’d never get over the addiction of her.
He loved her.
And had lost her.
“Finn?” Hannah stood next to his car. He hadn’t even realized that his window was open. Or that she’d opened the front door and come to him. He gripped the steering wheel, his knuckles going white. “Finn, honey, what’s wrong?” Her eyes widened, joy blending with the worry. “Is that a mark on your shoulder? Are you mated?”
“It didn’t work, Hannah,” his voice broke, tears falling down his cheeks. He turned to watch her face as the truth set in. “I’m broken, Aunt Hannah. It didn’t work.”
Her face paled and tears slid down her cheeks, as well. “Oh, sweet heavens.”
She knew. She’d figured it out. Or at least had put a few pieces together. She’d worried about him ever since the attack, and now she had cause.
He was broken. Only, he wasn’t sure there was a way to fix it.
“Hannah?” Josh ran out of the house, Reed on his tail. “What the fuck is going on, Finn?” He cradled Hannah close to him and Reed stood on the other side.
“We felt the bond pulse in agony. What happened?” Reed glared at Finn, but Finn couldn’t find the energy to glare back. Not when he’d lost any hope of having what he’d thought would always come. Perhaps not all hope, since he was with Hannah just then, but enough hope that it hurt to contemplate moving forward.
“Don’t yell at him,” Hannah whispered. “Get him inside and call Maddox. Now.” Her voice grew stronger with each word, and the men did as they were told. Finn wasn’t sure he’d made the right choice by coming here. He wasn’t sure he could stand to see a true triad working as a mating when he couldn’t even make it work with one woman. One woman who held the strength of thousands.
“Come on, Finn,” Reed said softly. “You look like you were beaten.”
Josh was on the phone with Maddox as he led Hannah back into the house.
“I wish that were all,” Finn whispered. “I fucking wish it was just a simple beating.” He opened the car door, his limbs heavy. He tried to swallow, only to find his mouth dry.
“We’ll take care of it,” Reed said firmly, putting his arm around Finn’s shoulders. “Let’s get you inside, okay?”
Finn didn’t answer but let Reed carry some of his weight. His heart hurt, and he knew Brynn had to be feeling worse. That just made it all crash down harder on him. It was as if he’d been knocked in the head with a two-by-four, his brain not fully catching up to what was going on around him. Reed set him down on their couch before squeezing his shoulder and leaving him to stare at the wall in front of him. Finn didn’t like this numbness, the lack of ability to do anything but remember to breathe and pray there was a way out of this situation.
He wasn’t normally this person. If there was a problem, he found a way to fix it. If there was a fight to be fought, he led the charge. He didn’t like the fact that felt so defeated, was acting so dejected. If he didn’t get his head out of his ass, he would lose Brynn in truth. She’d push him away harder than she already had, and he wouldn’t even have the option of finding away to make their mating work.
What he needed was to fix the bond with his wolf. Then he could be with Brynn until the end of their days.
The world needed the two of them. Their Packs needed them. They’d be stronger together than they’d ever be apart. He’d seen that during the past year when they’d been working side by side on their mission. He might have thought she hated him, but it couldn’t have been further from the truth. She’d just been trying to work out how she would stand next to him and know he wouldn’t feel the potential bond he should. Or perhaps she didn’t know that at all, maybe she though he just didn’t want her. He couldn’t blame her for her hostility toward him all this time, nor could he fault her for the mixed messages she’d sent recently. Everything had truly gone to shit and now he knew why.
Someone sat next to him on the couch and he inhaled their scent. Hannah. She didn’t lean into him or even touch him. She merely sat next to him, letting him know she was there. She was an earth witch, not a wolf, but she was Pack. Her life was tied to Reed’s as Josh’s was through their mating bond. She’d been brought in as their Healer, and soon, she’d step back and allow Finn’s brother Mark to hold the mantle.
He cleared his throat then looked down at himself. He smelled of Brynn and sex, only wore a pair of sweat pants, and had a fresh bite mark on his shoulder. It probably looked as if he needed his head examined since he’d come to their place first, rather than his own home. But he hadn’t thought of going to his place with Charlotte. There was nothing she could do but try to help him through whatever this was. But Hannah had Healed him once before. It might not have taken as it should have, but there had to be something she could do now. If not? Then he wasn’t sure what he’d do next.
All he knew was that he’d walked out of Brynn’s place to let her breathe because he would do anything to keep from hurting her. But that didn’t mean he’d given up on her. She’d given up because she’d already had a year to work through this, a year to die a little more inside. This was new to him, but damn if he’d give up right. He couldn’t.
“Drink this,” Reed said, and Finn looked up. “It’s just water,” his uncle continued. “After you rehydrate, we’ll get you the harder stuff if you want it.”
“And it looks like you might need it,” Josh said from the other side of the room. The former human, now half-demon, crossed his arms over his chest and frowned. “You want to tell us what happened? Or do you just need to sit and be with family? We’re fine with whatever.”
“What my knucklehead mate means is, do you need anything?” Hannah asked, her voice soft. “What can we do for you? We love you, Finn. Do you want us to call your folks? Call Charlotte? Or even Brie?”
Finn shook his head then gulped down the water in one go. The cool liquid soothed his parched throat. He hadn’t realized how dehydrated he was until he’d finished the glass and found himself still thirsty. Reed handed him another glass he hadn’t seen in his uncle’s hand, and Finn drank it a little slower.
“I wanted to come here because…well, because that’s what my brain did when I went into autopilot.” He shrugged, knowing he was being vague and that he had to get into specifics. The more he thought about it though, the more he thought he might have made a mistake by coming here. Hannah was a gentle soul, even with the powers and strength of a warrior earth witch. She might have guessed part—if not all—of what had happened to him, but stating the words outright would hurt her.
He’d made a mess of everything, but now he needed to move on and work through it because Brynn deserved better than a broken wolf and the heavy absence of a mating bond.
Hannah reached out and gripped his hand and he squeezed hers back. “Tell us what happened, Finn. We won’t call any
one you don’t want us to, but Maddox is on his way.” She tilted her head. “In fact, there he is now.”
Finn had, of course, scented his uncle before she’d even said anything about him. Maddox walked in without knocking and made his way into the living room, taking a seat on the coffee table in front of Finn.
“I headed off the rest of the family,” Maddox said softly.
Finn let out a sigh. “They felt everything through the bonds, then?” he asked, knowing it was too good to be true to hope that he’d protected his family from his own worries.
Maddox shook his head. “Quite the opposite, in fact.”
Finn sat back, frowning. “What?”
Hannah squeezed his hand. “We don’t feel anything, Finn. It’s like you’ve been cut off completely. If it weren’t for the fact that you’re here and I can now feel a muted presence of you, I would have thought…” her voice caught “…I would have thought you’d died or left the Pack.”
Finn sucked in a ragged breath, stunned. “I’m still bonded to the Pack, right?” He rubbed a hand over his chest, trying to connect to his Pack like he had before. He was the damn Heir. He couldn’t just cut everyone off when he felt like shit. The Redwoods needed him to be strong. Brynn fucking needed him to be strong.
He closed his eyes and focused on the connections that kept him sane. All at once, warmth burst through his limbs and he coughed, the bonds fully pulsating again.
Maddox coughed, as well, and Finn opened his eyes. “You were connected before, just muted. Some couldn’t feel you at all, and that scared the shit out of them. You’re back, but damn, Finn, what happened? Why did you shut yourself down so hard emotionally that you disrupted the balance between yourself and the bonds that hold us together?”
Finn let out a breath then began the whole story. “I found my mate…but my wolf doesn’t recognize her.”
With each layer, each detail, Hannah grew more despondent while her men tried to soothe not only her, but Finn, as well. Maddox narrowed his eyes and did his work as the Omega, pulling in some of the pain Finn felt. But Finn only let his uncle do that for a little while before pushing him off. He needed the sensation, needed to remember how it felt to know he might never have what he thought he would. Without that tactile sense of loss, he’d lose focus.
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