On Lone Star Trail

by Amanda Cabot

  “What happened?” Gillian had to be all right. She simply had to. TJ didn’t know what he’d do if yet another person he loved were taken from him. Surely God wouldn’t do that, especially now that TJ was finding his way back to him.

  He took a deep breath, trying to vanquish the fears that threatened to smother him. Gillian had occupied his thoughts even more than normal today as he’d come to grips with the fact that he loved her, that he wanted her to be a permanent part of his life. It had been a bittersweet realization as he’d struggled with the knowledge that he had little to offer her—no home, no full-time employment, not even the large extended family she longed for. The truth was, TJ had nothing that would make this wonderful woman want to share her life with him. And now she was lying in some hospital somewhere.

  Kevin looked up from the tray he was unloading onto the lazy Susan, his expression remarkably calm for someone who’d just delivered a bombshell. “Gillian’s fine. She’s staying with Kate and Greg for a while.” As TJ tried to absorb his words, Kevin gave him a sympathetic look. “I guess you didn’t hear the news. Kate had a baby an hour or so ago. It was all anyone could talk about in the office.”

  But TJ had bypassed the reception area. “That’s good news.” Doubly good news. As relief chased the adrenaline from his bloodstream, TJ felt himself relax. In a minute or so, other guests would fill the table. It was an ordinary evening at Rainbow’s End except for the arrival of Baby Vange. There had been no reason to panic. Gillian was safe.

  TJ blinked in surprise as images danced through his brain. The picture of himself holding an infant in his arms morphed into one of him standing in front of a congregation next to a young couple and their baby. TJ had never baptized anyone. He’d never married a couple. He’d never presided at a funeral. In the past, counseling people, sharing God’s Word with them as he tried to assuage their pain and their fears, had been enough. But though he could not explain what had caused the change, today was different. He felt as if something seismic had shifted his life focus. The role he’d played in the past no longer seemed adequate. He wanted more. Much more. Perhaps that was his answer.

  How could one person feel totally drained and exhilarated at the same time? Gillian clenched the steering wheel as she backed out of Sally’s driveway and headed to Rainbow’s End. The day had been tiring, both physically and emotionally. Though it was only 8:00 p.m., she’d been awake since 3:00 a.m. It had been a long, unforgettable day as many of Gillian’s prayers had been answered.

  Kate and her baby were safe. Junior, who now bore the name of John Jacob Vange, had made his arrival at 5:37 after sixteen hours of labor. Though premature, he weighed over five pounds and was healthy enough that he’d be released tomorrow.

  There had been no complications in the delivery, no father grieving the loss of his wife. Instead, when Sally and Gillian had been allowed back into Kate’s room, they’d discovered a couple whose happiness bordered on euphoria. The strain that had creased Kate’s face during labor had disappeared the instant she’d heard her son’s first cry and had cradled him to her breast.

  “He’s perfect,” she announced. Never before had Gillian heard that note of wonder in her friend’s voice. Never before had she seen such joy on Kate’s face.

  “Do you want to hold him?” Kate offered when great-grandma Sally relinquished the now sleeping baby.

  Of course she did. Gillian reached for the almost impossibly tiny bundle. John was wearing the blue knit cap the hospital provided and the blue onesie that Kate had brought along with a matching pink one just in case Junior had turned out to be Juniorette. His fists were clenched, and his mouth was scrunched into what Gillian would have described as a scowl, though she’d never tell his proud parents that. They thought he was perfect, and he was—perfectly healthy.

  Gillian smiled at the child who, despite Sally’s claims to the contrary, resembled Greg far more than Kate. She had expected a sense of awe as she cradled her best friend’s firstborn, but she had not expected to be filled with a longing so deep it was almost physical.

  In that instant, Gillian had pictured herself holding her own baby. She wasn’t certain whether she carried a boy or a girl, but she knew that the man standing behind her, his arm wrapped around her waist, was her husband and that his smile was as joyful as her own. In her mind, she turned to see his face, but though she tried, Gillian could not bring it into focus. Ever since, the image had been gnawing at her, leaving her feeling as if she’d caught a glimpse of happiness only to have it snatched away.

  Sighing deeply, she pulled into Rainbow’s End and headed for her parking spot, her eyes widening in surprise at the sight of Mike’s Ferrari parked in the visitor’s slot.

  “Mike!” she called as she switched off the engine and hopped out of the car. He was seated on the front steps of her cabin, obviously waiting for her. “What are you doing here?”

  He rose, and in the light from the streetlamp, she saw a hint of amusement mingled with something else—perhaps frustration, perhaps boredom. “It’s Tuesday,” he said, his drawl more pronounced than normal. “We were going to have barbecue together.”

  Embarrassment and regret swept over Gillian. Tonight was supposed to be the night she proved to herself she’d overcome the discomfort she had experienced at the symphony. It was supposed to be a night of good food and good conversation, a chance to put the symphony and the paparazzi behind them. Instead, Gillian had left Mike sitting here for more than two hours without so much as a call.

  A call. She reached into her purse, chagrined to realize she hadn’t turned her phone back on. She’d switched it off when she’d entered the chapel, and that had been the last time she’d thought of it.

  “I’m so sorry.” Gillian held out her hands, hoping Mike would accept her apology. “It’s not a good excuse, but with all the excitement, I completely forgot about our date.”

  She would let him think the excitement had been over the arrival of Kate and Greg’s son, though that was only a small part of the reason Gillian had forgotten both their date and her phone. What had happened in the chapel was so new, so deeply personal, that she had told no one, not even Sally.

  Apparently unfazed by her forgetfulness, Mike nodded and clasped her hands. His were warm and strong, reminding Gillian of how they’d felt when he’d touched the back of her waist leaving the symphony hall and how she’d felt safe and protected when he’d wrapped an arm around her shoulders as they’d dodged the paparazzi.

  “I figured that’s what happened. When you weren’t here, I checked inside. The guy at the front desk told me about Kate’s baby. I didn’t want to leave without seeing you, so I went into Dupree, found cell service, and did some work.” He shrugged. “There’s no shortage of that. But tell me about the baby. Is everyone healthy?”

  “Very. Happy too. The only one who isn’t happy is me. I’m not happy that I forgot about our date. I should have called you.” Gillian thought quickly, searching for a way to salvage the evening. “Have you eaten?”

  Mike shook his head. “I was waiting for you.”

  “I can’t promise you barbecue—Tuesday’s spaghetti night at Rainbow’s End—but if you give me a few minutes, I should be able to come up with something to curb those hunger pangs.” As her stomach growled, Gillian chuckled. “Mine too.”

  Mike insisted on accompanying her to the kitchen and entertaining her with stories of his day as she raided the refrigerator and prepared a plate of roast beef sandwiches with tossed and molded salads on the side. There were even two pieces of Carmen’s famous chocolate pound cake left for their dessert.

  “Where would you like to eat?” Though no one would mind if they used the dining room, being there raised the possibility of interruptions by guests in search of Rainbow’s End’s signature evening treats: milk and cookies. Though Mike had been good-natured about the change of plans, Gillian doubted he’d appreciate that.
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  He tipped his head to one side, obviously considering her question. “How about the gazebo, or is it too much trouble to take the food out there?”

  “It’ll be perfect.” Gillian opened one of the lower cabinets and retrieved a large tray. “That’s why trays were invented.”

  Within minutes, she and Mike were seated inside the gazebo, balancing plates on their laps. It might not be barbecue, but Carmen’s food was always delicious.

  “Have you made plans for Memorial Day?” Mike asked when he’d finished his first sandwich and had helped himself to a second along with a refill of iced tea.

  “Not yet.” Kate had been so focused on her pregnancy that if she and Greg had special plans for Rainbow’s End, she hadn’t mentioned them to Gillian, and no one at the senior center had talked about the holiday. “I imagine Dupree has some kind of celebration, but I don’t know what’s involved.”

  Mike nodded as if her reply pleased him. “I was hoping you’d spend the day with me. I won’t mislead you. It’s a family event. All the aunts, uncles, and cousins are invited, so it can be a bit chaotic, but I think you’d enjoy the parade and the fireworks.” Mike took a slug of tea, his eyes serious as he continued. “I’m probably prejudiced, but I believe Blytheville does a good job of helping people remember the reason for the holiday. It’s not just about barbecues.”

  That sounded like a refreshing change from the usual commercial focus. And having the whole family involved was a definite plus. Though both Stacy and Mike had issued mild warnings, Gillian was looking forward to meeting the rest of the Tarkett clan. “Thanks. I’d like that.”

  She took another bite of her sandwich. While she might not be as hungry as Mike, she was enjoying the simple meal and the chance to relax after an undeniably eventful day. “Now, tell me how your campaign is going.”

  Mike did, making even the planning meetings seem entertaining. “You’re really enjoying it, aren’t you?” He’d spoken for close to five minutes, enough time for Gillian to finish her meal and set her plate aside.

  “Yeah.” He nodded when Gillian offered to refill his glass. “Of course it helps that the family is behind me.”

  “That doesn’t surprise me. If there was one thing I learned the first time I met them, it’s that your parents are determined to make you Blytheville’s next mayor. My impression is that when they want something, they get it.”

  Mike nodded. “You’d be right about that.” He drained his glass, then laid it and his plate on the bench beside him. “I almost forgot. Mom asked me to give you something.”

  “She did?” Gillian couldn’t imagine what that might be.

  “Yes, this.” Mike leaned toward her and pressed a kiss on her cheek. It was brief and brotherly, the kind of kiss George had given Gillian on numerous occasions. She smiled at Mike, acknowledging the kiss.

  Though she’d expected Mike to resume their conversation, he rose and tugged Gillian to her feet. “That was from my mother. This is from me.”

  Moving slowly but surely, Mike drew Gillian into his arms and lowered his lips to hers. There was nothing tentative about the kiss. Mike kissed as masterfully as he did everything else. His lips were firm, the kiss somehow familiar, as if they’d done this before. His hands were warm and comforting as he stroked her back, drawing her closer to him. It was a kiss that touched Gillian’s heart and stirred her senses, the perfect ending to the day. And yet as they drew apart, it was not Mike who filled her thoughts.

  39

  She ought to be back by now. TJ glanced at his watch. When he and Deb had visited friends with newborns, the staff at the hospital had suggested they leave fairly early to give the new family time alone. Even factoring in the drive back from San Antonio, Gillian should have returned. TJ looked at his watch again. The question was whether he ought to disturb her.

  He’d stayed later than normal in Firefly Valley, talking to Todd and Shane about the end-of-school party. TJ wasn’t certain what surprised him more—the teens planning something almost a month in advance or Todd and Shane working together. In any event, the discussion had taken almost half an hour, and it was now close to ten. That was hardly late, but TJ had learned that Gillian had left Rainbow’s End very early this morning. Even if she was still awake, she might be too tired to appreciate a visit.

  Gravel crunched beneath his feet as he stepped onto the Rainbow’s End driveway. A wise man would wait until tomorrow, he told himself. What he wanted to discuss with Gillian was too important to leave to chance. He needed to plan the right way to explain what he felt called to do. He needed time to find the words to tell her all he’d learned about himself and how he felt about her. He wasn’t ready.

  He ought to wait, and yet TJ did not want to. He wanted—no, he needed—to be with Gillian, to tell her he loved her, to see if she shared his dream of a future together. He couldn’t wait another hour.

  Seemingly of their own volition, his feet increased their pace, propelling him along the driveway toward Gillian. And then he heard it. The unmistakable, deep-throated rumble of an expensive sports car. Seconds later, the Ferrari’s headlights blinded TJ. Shielding his eyes, he jumped to the side.

  “Sorry, buddy,” Mike Tarkett called through the open window. “I didn’t think anyone would be on the road. I wasn’t watching where I was going. Sorry.”

  TJ shook his head. “No harm done.”

  Other than to his heart. It felt as if someone had taken an ice pick to it. Gillian hadn’t told him she was seeing Mike tonight, so it must have been a spur of the moment thing. The way the scene played out in TJ’s mind, Gillian had called Mike with the news of Kate’s baby and wanted to celebrate with him. And that’s what hurt. TJ had thought they were friends, but instead of him, she’d chosen to share the news of her best friend’s baby with Mike.

  TJ strode toward his cabin, clenching and unclenching his fists. The game wasn’t over. Far from it. He wasn’t going to give up without a fight. But before he told Gillian how his heart had opened and that she was the reason he’d begun dreaming of second chances, he was going to get his ducks in a row. He needed to have his future planned before he asked her to share it. That meant that for the next few weeks they would be friends, nothing more.

  Gillian narrowed her eyes, studying TJ. “You look different,” she said when they met for breakfast the next morning. After Mike had left, she’d tumbled into bed and fallen asleep, waking this morning with the overwhelming need to tell TJ what had happened. A quick call to the hospital had confirmed that Kate and John were doing well and that Kate and Greg were eagerly awaiting the doctor’s arrival to sign the release papers.

  Though Gillian wanted to share that news with TJ, she was hoping for some private time to tell him about her experience in the chapel. Fortunately, none of the other guests who shared their table had entered the dining room. That left her with TJ, a TJ who seemed to be changed.

  Gillian wondered at the reason. It had been thirty-six hours since she’d seen him, but time alone could not account for the changes. Though she felt different and suspected her face bore testimony to the revelation she’d experienced, it was unlikely TJ had also had an epiphany yesterday. What were the odds of that?

  But something had definitely changed. TJ’s hair was the same. He hadn’t decided to let his beard grow. As she looked more closely, Gillian decided the difference was his eyes. The pain and indecision she’d seen there so often were gone. In their place she saw peace and something else, something she couldn’t identify.

  “You think I look different?” he asked, breaking a piece of bacon into bite-sized pieces. “I could say the same thing about you. What happened?” That was vintage TJ, responding to a question with one of his own.

  She smiled, thinking of everything that had occurred yesterday. There’d been Mike’s kiss and Kate’s baby, both of which had caused Gillian to look at the world a bit differently, but the most
important thing had been the decision she’d made in the chapel.

  “I took your advice and Sally’s, and I turned my problems over to God,” she told TJ as she poured milk on her cereal. The simple words only hinted at the magnitude of her act. “It feels nice not carrying those burdens.” More than nice. Though she hadn’t thought it possible, Gillian felt like a different person.

  TJ met her gaze, his smile leaving no doubt of his approval. “Have you discovered what’s next for you?”

  “Nothing other than that I’m staying here for a while. I want to spend time with Kate and her son, but there’s another reason.” This morning while she’d prepared for the day, Gillian’s thoughts had focused on the teenagers, particularly Brianna, and she’d known she couldn’t simply walk away. “It may sound strange, but even with all the excitement of Kate’s baby yesterday, I missed the time in Firefly Valley. I’ve decided to stay here long enough to see those kids settled in their new homes.”

  Once again TJ’s expression radiated approval. “The last I heard, the builder is hoping to have the apartments finished by mid-August so everyone’ll be moved even if they’re not fully settled in before school starts.”

  “I guess that means another three months in Dupree.” Gillian smiled as she took a spoonful of cereal, enjoying the blend of grains, fruits, and nuts that Carmen had turned into granola. How wonderful it would be if she could spend those months with TJ. It had been several weeks since he’d spoken of his trip to Big Bend, leading her to wonder whether he’d changed his mind and might remain here.

  TJ raised an eyebrow. “Far be it from me to discourage you, but are you sure you’re ready for June, July, and August in Texas? There are plenty of days when going outside makes you think you’ve walked into an oven.”

  Gillian nodded. “Kate warned me about that. The way I figure it, that’s why they invented air conditioning.”