The Baby Shower

by Tasha Blue et al.

  He thought for a moment on it. “What if we called her by a nickname first? Then it would already be in place? We could call her Maddie.”

  Marina laughed and it sounded like sunshine and silver bells over the phone to him, and I it brought him comforting happiness. “You won’t believe this,” she said in her laughter, “that was my grandma’s nickname.”

  “Is that alright? Should we do that?” he chuckled at the irony of his choice.

  “Yes! I love it. I think that’s perfect,” she said softly. “How are you doing?” she added. She worried about him sometimes, sensing that he wasn’t very happy in his life away from her.

  He wasn’t happy at home, but right at that moment, he could not be much happier, and he let that show through to her. “I’m perfect. I could only be better if our girl was here and I could hold her,” he answered honestly.

  “I’m glad to hear it,” Marina replied, knowing that it was a truthful answer, but that it wasn’t that good all of the time for him. She admired him for staying so dedicated to his word, and committed to a marriage that was so difficult. She had thought more than once that Kevin’s wife was not only a lucky woman, but a bit undeserving of the man she probably didn’t realize she had.

  As the months went by and they saw the doctor more often, their anticipation grew stronger, and each day brought them closer to meeting their little girl and closer together as friends. They both had a strong admiration and attachment to one another, and though Kevin was visiting Marina once a week to help her prepare, to go to Lamaze classes, and to see their obstetrician, they still called and texted each other on days when they didn’t see each other.

  One week after her due date, Marina and Kevin were in frequent contact and neither of them was sleeping much, which was beginning to take its toll. Marina reminded him that Maddie was probably taking her time, just like her mom, and Kevin laughed at the idea. He had long since gotten used to Marina’s way of not living a rushed life, and he found that he loved the relaxed feeling of that pace when he was with her.

  He was snoozing lightly in his bed when his phone rang at eleven o’clock one night, and he bolted upright in bed and grappled with his cell phone for a moment until he got it answered. It was Marina, and all she could say was that her water had broken and it was time, before she gasped in pain and had to breathe her way through a contraction.

  He told her he was on his way and hung up the phone. In moments, he was dressed and racing down the hallway toward the stairs when he almost ran into Ellen coming out of her room. She shut her bedroom door quickly and looked at him in alarm.

  “Where are you going at this hour? What’s the rush?” she glared. She was barely clothed in a sheer baby doll negligee, with nothing on underneath it. Kevin stopped abruptly and stared at her, then blinked and said, “I have an urgent matter I have to tend to. Good night, dear.” Then he raced around her and down the stairs as she watched him go with a look of disdain upon her face.

  He called Jacob and Mac on the way to Marina’s house and within half an hour, he had her in his car and was arriving at the hospital. The emergency staff wheeled her into the maternity ward and he was stunned at their calm and unperturbed professionalism. He was amazed to think that they could be so held together while his entire world was changing right before him and his daughter was being born.

  He said as much to Marina as he held her hand tightly, and she laughed at him in between her contractions. “Kevin, that’s their job… it’s what they do, every day, more than once a day, I bet.” She smiled up at him. “Do you realize that’s the first time I’ve been more logical than you?” She laughed again and then her body tightened in pain as another contraction gripped her.

  “Breathe, Marina, breathe with me!” he urged, huffing and puffing right along with her as he encouraged her and held her hand. She breathed with him through the pain and then smiled tiredly at him. “You’re a good partner and coach. You know that? Maddie is one lucky girl to have you as her dad.”

  He felt his heart swell and he touched his hand to her cheek, stroking his fingers over her face gently. “Thank you, Marina. You’re going to be an amazing mother. I’m so glad I chose you. No one could be better.” They shared a tender and heartfelt gaze for a long moment and then she cried out in pain with another contraction.

  Kevin looked helplessly at one of the nurses. “Can’t you give her something for this? Can she have an epidural? I can’t stand to see her in pain like this!” He felt desperation for her every discomfort.

  “Right away, sir, or she won’t be able to have one at all. Her contractions are really close together now,” the nurse answered. They brought in the anesthesiologist and he administered a shot that made Kevin go white as a ghost, but then a few minutes later, Marina was doing much better and he knew it had been worth it.

  Jacob and Mac showed up and were able to check in with a fast hello before Marina and Kevin were told that it was time for Maddie to be born. The doctor positioned himself and Kevin stood beside Marina, holding tightly to her hand as she pushed with all her strength and might, over and over, until the doctor pulled their daughter from her mother’s body, and Marina and Kevin were both crying at witnessing the amazing miracle that had taken place between them.

  The doctor asked Kevin to cut the cord, which he did, and the nurses wiped their crying baby down and then handed her to her father, who wept at the sight of the beautiful tiny girl in his arms. He leaned down and placed her in Marina’s arms, and then wrapped his arms around them both, for neither of them had known a more powerful moment in their lives, and neither of them could have withstood the full impact of emotion without the strength and support of the other.

  Marina and Maddie were taken into their private room, and not long after that, Mac and Jacob were brought in to see the new mother and daughter. Jacob laughed good-naturedly when he saw Kevin holding his daughter.

  “My friend, I’ve never seen a prouder father than you right now, right here,” Jacob said. “Congratulations.”

  He shook Kevin’s hand. Both men held the baby for a few minutes, although Mac had her in his arms a bit longer, and both of them fell in love with the little angel at first glance. She had her mother’s dark curly hair and dark skin, and she had her blue-gray eyes, but it was obvious that she had her father’s fine features and long graceful fingers.

  They both had brought several gifts and spoiled the little girl on her very first day of life; it was something they both swore they would continue to do on a regular basis. They handed her back to her father and she looked at him with her little eyes as though she was trying to figure out where she was and who he was, and then she yawned and squeaked and fell asleep in his arms. Maddie had her father’s entire heart, right from the first moment she was placed in his arms.

  Kevin stayed with Marina for her duration in the hospital, and then took her and Maddie back to Marina’s house, where they moved their daughter’s bassinet into Marina’s bedroom. It was the first time Kevin had ever seen Marina’s bedroom, and he hadn’t realized how simply she lived. She had only a box spring and mattress; no headboard or bedroom set, just a little wooden dresser against the wall. He felt suddenly ashamed, as though he had failed her somehow, though he didn’t say anything.

  He focused his attention on Maddie and Marina, and he did everything he could to help them and make their transition easier. Marina was exceptionally glad for his presence, wondering how it would have been to have faced the monumental experience of childbirth and the aftermath on her own with no father around, as she had originally planned to do. It seemed like another lifetime ago to her, and she was grateful for him.

  Kevin sat on the bed with Marina and watched her nurse their daughter until the baby slept, and then he helped Marina stand up and they set the little one in her bassinet. He bit his lip trying to hold in the emotions that cascaded through him, but Marina saw his face and looked up into his eyes.

  “What is it?” she asked, concern in he
r voice.

  He shook his head and tears spilled down his cheeks. “I’m overwhelmed. I… I’m just overwhelmed. This is such an incredible gift. I thought I was a wealthy man until today, but now I know what true wealth is.

  “Looking at her, and at you,” he whispered, lifting his hand to her cheek and cupping her face, “I know there’s nothing else in this world that I could ever really ask for, other than health and safety for the two of you.” He moved his thumb over her cheek and she placed her hand on his and closed her eyes.

  “I feel that same way, Kevin. We are so lucky to have what we do.” She turned her cheek slightly and kissed his palm. His heart began to pound and hers matched his beat for beat, as she opened her eyes and looked up into his. Their breath mingled and their eyes were locked together as they held each other close. He leaned forward and their parted lips were a moment away from each other, but he turned her head in his hand and kissed her cheek. She closed her eyes tightly and closed her mouth, breathing in deeply through her nose and then releasing the breath slowly.

  “I’d better go.” He said in a whisper against her cheek. Then he pulled his head back from hers. “Please call me if you need anything at all. I’ll be back later to help you again.” He let his hands fall away from her and he took a step backward and drew a deep breath. She smiled at him and slowly walked with him to the front door.

  He hugged her carefully and thanked her again for their beautiful daughter and all her hard work, and then he walked out the door and she closed it behind him and turned, leaning her back against it, and shut her eyes tightly.

  “Don’t fall in love with a married man. Don’t fall in love with a married man,” she whispered aloud to herself. “That’s my new mantra. Don’t fall in love with a married man. It can’t be love. It’s hormones,” she reasoned with herself. “I’m filled with an ocean of hormones. I’m not going to fall in love with a married man.” She repeated it to herself as she walked back down the hall to her bedroom and her sleeping baby.

  Kevin got into his car and placed both his hands on the steering wheel, then lowered his forehead to rest on his hands. He told his phone to call Jacob, and in moments, Jacob was on the line as Kevin drove home.

  “How’s it going for the new dad?” Jacob asked with an obvious grin.

  Kevin sighed deeply and there was a long silence on his end.

  “Kev? Buddy? You there?” Jacob asked with slight concern.

  “I’m here,” Kevin answered quietly.

  “What’s up, Kevin? You don’t sound like the ecstatic man I left at the hospital. Is everything alright? Marina and Maddie are okay?” Concern was growing in his voice.

  “They’re both just fine, thankfully.” Kevin spoke in a low tone.

  “Then what’s bothering you? You never sound like this unless you’ve had another fight with Ellen. Is it Ellen?” Jacob continued.

  “In a way, it kind of relates to her.” Kevin sighed. “Jacob, I have had a little problem that has just become a big problem.”

  “What’s that?” Jacob asked, patient as ever.

  “I think I’m falling in love with Marina.” He finally spoke the words aloud. He had wondered. He had denied. He had considered and ignored and pretended otherwise, but now he could not turn away from the fact that she was the only woman on his mind and in his heart, and she was what he wanted more than anything.

  Jacob did not sound surprised at all. “Yeah, buddy, you are. So, are you just figuring this out?”

  Kevin was astounded. “You knew?”

  Jacob laughed at him, though lightly. “Yeah, well, it was pretty apparent about halfway through Marina’s pregnancy, and Mac and I saw it right away. Matter of fact, I think I won the bet on this one.”

  “The bet?!” Kevin was even more surprised, though somewhere in the back of his mind he realized that he shouldn’t be.

  “The bet. See, Mac was sure you would admit it before Maddie was born, and I said you wouldn’t admit it until after she was born. So, I won. How are you feeling?”

  “Confused, and not confused,” Kevin said quietly, his tone filled with sadness. “I know what I want, but I’m already committed. I can’t have what I want; at least, not all of it. I can be Maddie’s father, and I can be Marina’s friend and partner.”

  “But not her lover. Not her husband. I know. Listen, Kevin, I realize this may come as a surprise to you, but you could get divorced. I could have that handled for you pretty quickly, actually.” Jacob sounded sympathetic.

  “I can’t do that, Jake, I am married and I made a commitment to my wife, who is at our home right now under the impression that her husband is away on some urgent business. It’s bad enough I was indirect with her, without considering the fact that I’ve fallen in love with another woman who just happened to have my child, and who she knows nothing about. Husband of the year, here. I cannot, I will not, break the marriage vows I made to my wife. I swore to honor and love her until we died.”

  Jacob sighed loudly. “Kevin, you might be the only man on the planet who actually took that vow as seriously as you take that vow. If you keep talking like that, you’re headed straight for a mid-life crisis, and you’re still twenty years from that. Calm down. Listen to me.

  “I understand your dedication to Ellen. I do. But I want you to do this for me. Take a good solid look at your marriage and really think hard about why it is that the two of you are together, and what good you are bringing to each other by being in each other’s lives. Then, after you’ve had time to give it a lot of consideration, call me and I will draw up your divorce papers.”

  “It’s not going to happen, Jacob. I’m just going to have to suffer through this and try to hold back the feelings I have for Marina. I will not break my wedding vows. Hopefully, time will make it easier.” Kevin sighed and rubbed his temple. He was exhausted from the duration he had been awake bringing his daughter into the world, and from the emotion that was flooding through him. He pulled into his driveway and continued his call on the cell as he walked toward the house.

  “Are all of the papers drawn up for the girls?” he asked, referring to Marina and Maddie being put into his will and set up for monthly stipends.

  “It’s all done, buddy. Get some rest. I’ll talk to you soon,” Jacob said kindly. “And Kev… just so you know, there’s a much needed ending and a very happy beginning just waiting for you anytime you’re ready. It’s just a signature away my friend. Congrats on your beautiful baby girl.”

  “Thank you, Jacob. You’re the rock I couldn’t live without. I appreciate you, buddy.” Kevin suppressed a yawn and closed his front door behind him. He hung up and took one step, and then something flew past his head and smashed loudly against the wall next to him, and shards of porcelain flew all around him.

  *

  He jumped aside and looked around as adrenaline rocketed through him. Ellen was flying down the rounded staircase at him and he could see that the object in pieces around his feet had once been the Ming vase that stood proudly in the hollowed shelf on the wall of the stairwell. He knew he was lucky she was a terrible shot; she didn’t miss hitting him on purpose.

  “What in the world are you doing?” he asked, his voice raised.

  She flew at him and shrieked. “You! You bastard! How could you?! All this time, all these months, and I just found out! You liar! You selfish,” she reached him and pounded both her clenched fists against his chest, “horrible,” she pounded him again, “bastard! How dare you! How dare you do this to me!

  “I am your wife! I’m supposed to be the most important person in your whole life! You son of a bitch!” She was screaming so loudly now that he had to turn his face slightly from hers, as he held her shoulders firmly, keeping her at arm’s length from him to reduce the amount of physical damage she could do to him.

  His heart sank. He had no idea how she found out about Marina and Maddie, but he would have to try to explain to his wife as best he could how he had secretly had a child with another
woman behind her back without cheating on her. It seemed like the biggest lie and paradox of his entire life. Guilt washed over him and he hung his head.

  “Ellen, I can’t even think of where to begin or how to explain. I’m so sorry; I’m sorry to have kept it from you, I’m sorry to have done it without you knowing, and I’m sorry that you found out the way you did.” He began with apologies, as remorse was his greatest emotion just then, and he did want to try to appease her justified anger with him. She had every right to be furious.

  “You better start apologizing, you rat bastard! You’re the sorriest man I ever saw!” she pulled herself from his grasp and began to pace in front of him, her red silk robe swirling like a bloody cloud around her body. “What in the hell made you think you could get away with it? Did you think that just because you went behind my back and did it anyway that I wouldn’t be able to do anything about it when I found out? Is that what you thought? What the hell is the matter with you?”