The Baby Shower

by Tasha Blue et al.

  "Hi!" she said with a cheerful smile, her brown eyes lifted to look at his face. "I hope I'm not disturbing you. I just saw you here all alone and thought maybe you'd like some company." She stood beside him and placed both her hands on the railing, holding tightly to it and raising her shoulders shyly, looking at him over the curve of the one beside him.

  Roman drew a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Oh, uh... yes, thank you. That would be nice." He didn't know what else to say to her.

  Luckily, she knew what to say to him. "I noticed that the Captain and you seem close, have you known him long?"

  He nodded. "Yes, actually, we've known each other for several years. He's a good man."

  She smiled and her dimples showed. "You're a good man too, I'm willing to bet. I didn't know what to expect this weekend. This is really different than I thought it would be. It's my first time on a ship like this."

  He tried to hide a smile. "It's not really a ship; it's a yacht, or a boat. I know it's big, but it's not quite big enough to be a ship."

  Just then, one of the stewards walked up to them with a platter balanced on his hand. "Miss Cami, your s'mores are ready," he said with a smile. Roman looked down at her as she picked up two s'mores and thanked the steward, then turned and handed one to him.

  "What's this?" he asked with a spreading grin on his face.

  She tilted her head. "Well, it's a s'more. I wanted one, but they weren't done yet, so the steward said he'd bring some to me when they were done. I asked him for two so we would each have one."

  He turned it over in his hand, enjoying the smell of warm chocolate and toasted marshmallow rising up to his nostrils and making his mouth water. "Thanks!" he said, taking a big bite of it and looking at her with a chuckle. "That was thoughtful!"

  Cami nodded and took a bite of her own. She closed her eyes and relished the flavor and texture of it.

  Roman looked at his while he chewed and knitted his brow. "They taste different than I remember."

  She looked up at him and laughed. "Well, these are made with fresh gingerbread instead of graham crackers. They're softer," she said, tilting her head and laughing again. "You have a little..." She raised her hand timidly, hesitating at first while he looked at her in confusion, and then she slowly lifted her finger to his lips and he stood stock still while she carefully wiped away chocolate and marshmallow cream from his lower lip.

  He stared at her, slightly embarrassed, and she shrugged and looked down at her fingertip. "They're a little messy," she said, looking around for a place to clean her finger, and seeing nothing convenient, she popped her finger in her mouth and sucked it clean.

  Roman watched her for a moment and then turned away and faced the view at the back of the boat, ignoring what she'd done. "So, you said this is your first time on a vessel like this... how is it that you came to be here?" He took another bite of his s'more to try to simplify the moment and relax. He was careful to use his other hand to wipe at his mouth, in case anything stuck there.

  She swallowed her bite. "Well, I'm an artist in Los Angeles and Colette is one of my biggest patrons. We're more friends than business associates. She asked me to come along on the trip. She thought I needed it."

  Roman blinked and looked sideways at her with a lowered brow. "Why would she think that?" He pushed the last of his s'more into his mouth and savored it.

  Cami frowned and looked down at the treat in her hand, picking at it thoughtfully. "Well, I just got out of a bad situation. I needed some fun. I needed some laughs, and some relaxation, and she thought this would do the trick."

  Roman was curious. He didn't want to be, but as he stood there watching her pick her s'more apart, he felt like he had to know, and the current tugged harder at him. "What happened?" he asked softly.

  She pulled the marshmallow out of her s'more and squished it between her fingers. "I was engaged to a guy; I really thought we were going to make it. I thought he was the one, but then I guess I wasn't the one for him. He broke up with me right before our wedding. I mean, the invitations were all sent out... the hotel was booked... the caterer, you know, all the things that cost the most and don't give refunds. All those things. He found another woman he wanted more, so he ran off and married her, and I paid all the bills and threw myself into my art." She laughed and wiped a few tears from her cheeks. "Colette loved the art, but she hated seeing me so hurt."

  Roman felt his heart go out to her. It made him sick to think of anyone going through pain like that, especially when they thought the love was real. He looked down at her long and hard for a moment as she wiped at the tears on her face, and in a split second, he made a decision.

  He turned and faced her, taking both her hands in his and lifting them to his mouth, as she stared at him in surprise. He wrapped his lips around the remains of her s'more, stuffing his mouth with all of it from both of her hands, he sucked her fingers clean, and then in a muffled invitation, he held his arms out to her while he chewed away at the wad of stickiness he'd just eaten. "Woof y- keh- t- ds?"

  Cami could not have been more surprised. She stared up at him through her wet eyelashes and started to laugh from her belly at the gorgeous, ridiculous man standing in front of her, holding his arms out to her, with his mouth full of the remains of the s'more she had shredded. "What?!" she asked him.

  He swallowed with difficulty and looked down at her with an air of elegance. "I said, would you care to dance? Do you hear the music?"

  She turned her head to look toward the front deck and then she realized that the staff were playing a violin and a cello, and she grinned through her tears and looked back at Roman, standing there waiting, with his arms still raised toward her.

  "I'd love it!" she said with a grin. She stepped toward him and he held her close, turning her delicately around the wooden slat deck of the boat, there in the wide-open Pacific Ocean under a brilliant moonlit sky, and they both felt happiness, and relief, and the beginnings of friendship.

  They danced for two lively songs, and then the musicians slowed their melody, and a love song filled the night air, drifting to the couple and around them, winding them closer together until their bodies met, and their arms were closed around one another.

  Her warmth felt good to him in the cold night air, and the scent of her perfume pulled his nose closer to her ear as he let himself breathe in her essence. He felt her slump in his arms slightly, and he looked down at her.

  "You can't keep the sadness,” he said quietly.

  She looked up at him. "I can't?" she asked. "Haven't I earned it?"

  He tilted his head and looked around for a moment, and then back down to her, gazing into her eyes. "Well, I guess if you wanted to cherish it, you could, but who would want to do that? No, you've got to let it go. You have to let it fall away from you and open yourself up to the possibility of new love."

  "Do I? Is there a possibility of love again? I don't think that's true for everyone. I think some people are just lucky," she told him softly, her eyes locked on his as they danced slowly.

  He frowned a little. "Well, of course, it's possible. Everything is possible. You never know who you... might meet..." he said with unintentional hesitation. He meant it to sound as though she could meet someone who could love her, but there he stood, holding her and dancing with her in the moonlight, while her perfume intoxicated him and it felt like he was saying she might meet him. He mentally bashed himself for the way it had sounded coming out.

  "What about you?" she asked, her eyes on him still, looking at him deeply.

  He knew it. He'd said it wrong. He'd fouled it up and now she was confused about what he meant. "I... didn't mean me... I meant you might meet-"

  She looked at him in confusion as he spoke and then she laughed at him. "No, no... I meant what about you finding love. You said everything is possible, so I was asking what about you? Have you found love?" She smiled at him and watched him as he closed his eyes in understanding and a little embarrassment.

  He
laughed a little, and said, "Oh... sorry." He turned her in a wide circle under his arm and drew her back to him again, holding her as close as he had been. "I thought I'd found love. Real love. I thought I had found passion and a partner for the rest of my life."

  Cami looked at him with a furrowed brow. "What happened? Did you get divorced?"

  Roman shook his head. "No... no, we're not divorced. We're still married. At least on paper."

  She looked a little sad for him. "Is the love still there?"

  He took a deep breath and shook his head, pursing his lips for a minute. "No. No, I don't think it is."

  "Maybe you just need to find it again,” she offered generously.

  He looked away from her as shame clutched at him, but there in the dark cold night, in the warmth of her arms, he felt safe; he felt as though he could trust this new friend he had made.

  "I have tried, but she's just not interested in it. She doesn't even share the same room with me, or the same bed. We haven't made love in a long, long time. It's just not there anymore." His voice was quiet and the music held them close.

  Cami watched him with sympathetic eyes and a heart that hurt for the loneliness she saw hidden away in him. "How long has it been?" she asked him.

  He sighed and looked away from her again. "Oh, I guess it's been about two and a half years. Maybe three... yeah, three years."

  She stared at him and stopped dancing, leaving her arms at his side. "You haven't made love with her in three years? Do you have a lover on the side?"

  He shook his head. "Oh God no, of course not. No. It's just she and I."

  Cami felt her heart ache for her new friend, and her eyes filled up with tears for him. "That is so awful! How could anyone be in such a close relationship and not be loved? Not be touched and held? How horrible to feel so alone when you are bound to someone who should love you more than anyone else in the world!" She shook her head as he watched her, and he realized that the words she had spoken were the truth that had darkened his heart for so long.

  He was alone, completely alone, because he had no one to go to; no one because he was married to a woman who was absent from his heart and his bed. It was one of the worst things he'd ever heard or felt, and he stared at Cami in a near horror.

  She shook her head and threw her arms around him, holding him tightly in an embrace, pressing herself as closely to him as possible.

  At first he didn't know quite what to do; he was taken aback by her suddenness, but then she held on, and on, and on. His worries about what she was doing and why she was doing it, began to drift away and after a while, he was just there in her embrace, and he let himself feel it, let himself be wrapped up in it, and let himself feel the warmth of physical affection from another human.

  His arms closed tightly around her and he held her in return. It almost broke his heart.

  He realized it had been ages since he had been held and hugged by someone who cared about him. So long since anyone had held him so close. And it had been just as long since he had been able to hold anyone else and share affection. He felt hot tears roll down his cheeks as his body trembled in her arms.

  She began to cry silently with him, holding him tightly as he let go of years of pain and loneliness. After a long while, just embracing each other and letting it all out, he loosened his arms from around her just a little, and whispered in her ear, "You don't have to keep holding me if you want to let go."

  Cami smiled and whispered back, "My grandma taught me to never be the one to let go first, because you never know how much the other person needs to be hugged."

  He held her closer to him and kissed her cheek by her ear. "Thank you," he said softly.

  Then he let a little laugh escape him. "You know, if everyone hugged like that, no one would ever let go."

  "Wouldn't that be a beautiful world,” she said with a smile, and kissed his cheek in return. Her breath and her lips were warm on his skin and he closed his eyes, feeling all her kindness and comfort, breathing her sweet scent in and finding himself whole in the soft feel of her body against his. He truly could not remember the last time he had felt so close to anyone. He turned his head slightly and pressed his lips softly to her cheek, and in that gentle kiss, he tasted her tears. His breath grew shallow and his heart began to pound in his chest.

  "Why are you crying?" he asked quietly, his words touching her skin.

  She whispered back to him, her words on his cheek, "My heart hurt at finding someone so lonely." She closed her eyes and pressed her lips to his skin, slowly and softly. "How long has it been since anyone held you? Just... held you?" she whispered, moving her mouth across his jaw, nearer to his mouth.

  He closed his eyes. "I can't remember," he answered her, kissing her cheek as their lips neared one another. Just as they were about to taste each other, just as their lips were about to meet, the music stopped, and the sound of the ocean hushed their pounding hearts. The cold wind swirled around them as their warm breath mingled together on each other's lips.

  Roman struggled against the current and with tremendous difficulty, he pulled his head away, taking a step back and looking down at her. "I'm so sorry..." he whispered, staring at her. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..."

  Cami shook her head and lifted the corners of her mouth in a gentle smile for him. "No! Please don't apologize. We haven't done anything at all; we haven't done anything wrong. I just held you, that was all. And you held me back, and that's something that friends do. It's okay; there's no need to apologize. Please don't say you're sorry, unless you really, truly are."

  He stared at her, standing there before him, her eyes kind, her heart wide open, loving, forgiving, helping, generous beyond measure, and he knew he didn't regret it at all. He hadn't felt cared for in ages, and he hadn't realized it until she had held him, as though he had been starved for affection for so long he didn't even know it when it was soaked into him, like a monsoon rain on a parched desert. He covered his mouth with his hands and smiled beneath his fingers, then let his fingers fall away from his face.

  "I'm not sorry. I'm not sorry one bit." He reached for her and pulled her into another embrace. "Thank you," he whispered. "Thank you so much." Then he let her go and stepped away from her. She smiled through a tear at him and held his hand.

  Roman lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed her fingers warmly with firm lips, and then he let her hand go. "I need to get to bed. Have a good night, beautiful Cami, and thank you so much." He shook his head at her. "You're an amazing woman." He turned and walked away from her, and as she watched his back disappear through the door to his room, she felt a piece of her heart go with him.

  Roman showered and went to bed, his heart and his thoughts on nothing but Cami. When he finally fell asleep, he slept better than he had in years. Cami went to bed feeling sorry for him, wondering what kind of wife wouldn't want to be with him every single night. She knew in her heart that she had found a friend she wanted to keep.

  The sun pulled them both out of bed, and each of them was showered and dressed, and out exploring the ship, both of them looking for the other one, neither one of them wanting to admit it to the other.

  Allen found Roman before Cami did. He pulled Roman down to a deck chair beside him and covered his face and his sunglasses with his hand. "I made a huge mistake," he groaned.

  Roman's mind shifted toward Allen and he looked at him through narrowed eyes. "I told you to be careful with Colette."

  Allen nodded. "I know."

  "What happened, did you fall for her?" Roman asked, with an air of disappointment.

  "Not exactly." Allen looked left and then right, making sure no one was around them. "We were in the hot tub together and she was drinking a lot and I wasn't. She was talking about how she could never find good love and we were listening to the musicians play last night, and I don't know what came over me, but I just grabbed her and kissed her. Right out of the blue. She just went nuts and started kissing me back... and then we made out... and th
en she took me to her room and I woke up tangled in her sheets. She didn't want to let me go last night."

  Roman tried to hold it in but he couldn't. "She wouldn't let go of you?"

  Allen shook his head slowly. "No. She was like a vice grip on me. She told me she fell in love with me."

  Roman laughed out loud then, but just as Allen looked at him in aggravation, a high pitched voice called down the deck toward them. "Oh pooooopsie! Poopsie, where are you? There you are!" Colette came tottering toward him on high-heeled sandals and pulled him up from his chair, wrapping her arms around him and walking him down the deck as he looked over his shoulder helplessly at Roman. Roman just laughed at him and shook his head.