The Baby Shower

by Tasha Blue et al.

  She’d decided right away that she liked Janine. The older woman made her feel at ease, and she had been amazed that there was no judgment on Janine's part; she'd been totally accepting of Cami, and even welcoming to her. Janine made her feel as though she had an ally.

  Roman made her feel like she wasn't going to have to do anything alone, and he would support her through all of it. It was like the worry and weight of the year leading up to that moment had vanished, like the fog that burned off in the morning sunshine of her new city.

  Cami put Emma into the car and drove back to the hotel. Janine told her she would get to work immediately on finding her a place and hiring a moving truck to bring her belongings up to San Francisco from Los Angeles. It was wonderful to Cami that she now had so much help. She decided to call her mama and tell her all the good news, and finally, the truth about Emma.

  She called her on the hands-free phone in the car, and Cicely picked up on the third ring.

  "Hello? Cami?"

  "Hi Mama, are you busy?" she asked, both excited and a little nervous.

  "No, I'm not busy. Are you driving? Are you calling me while you're behind the wheel of a car?" Cicely asked in a warning voice.

  Cami bit her lip. "You're on hands-free, Mama. You know I'd never have my phone in my hands while I'm behind the wheel. Especially with Emma in the car."

  Her mother harrumphed disapprovingly. "You know I don't like it when you drive and talk on the phone, whether it's in your hand or not."

  "I know, Mama, but I have some big news and I want to share it with you." Cami could feel the excitement bubbling up inside her.

  Cicely hummed curiously. "What's going on, baby girl?"

  Cami couldn't hold back the grin on her face. "Well, I'm moving to San Francisco," she said. It was one shoe dropping. She'd have to wait a moment to drop the other shoe.

  Her Mama was shocked. "What? Do you want to tell me what that's all about?"

  “Well, I have a good client base up here and uh... um... this is where Emma's daddy lives. I thought maybe he ought to be part of her life, and I could use the help." She dropped the other shoe and her Mama dropped the phone on her floor.

  There was a loud scuffling noise on the line as her mother bent to pick the phone up and bring it back to her ear. "What did you just say to me?"

  Cami's voice lowered some. "I said this is where Emma's daddy lives."

  "I knew you knew who it was. What changed your mind?" Her Mama never missed anything. Silence, in her case, almost never meant ignorance.

  "Well, Mama, it's like I said, I need the help, I have a client base here, I like San Francisco, and I really think he ought to be part of her life and help me raise her, you know, be there for it, and he wants to be." Cami was immeasurably glad for that fact.

  Her Mama was taking it without surprise now. "Mmmmhmmmm," she hummed. "So are you moving in with her daddy now? You two are going to raise her together as a couple?"

  Cami knew that this would come. She wasn't looking forward to it. "No, Mama."

  "No? Why not? He wants to be part of that baby's life, doesn't he?" her mother replied in consternation.

  Cami sighed. "Yes, he wants to be a big part of it; he wants to do everything with her, but we can't live together. We're raising her in two different houses."

  "Well, why not? Don't you care about him? Does he care about you?" Mama asked in a softer tone.

  Another sigh. "It's not that, Mama."

  "Well what is it? It doesn't sound so complicated to me," Mama said simply.

  "He's married,” Cami said quietly.

  There was a deafening silence on the other end of the line for nearly a full minute. She could feel the heat radiating through her phone. She waited as long as she could, and then she had to speak up.

  "Mama?" she almost whispered.

  "Was he married when you two made that baby?" Mama asked, in a low tone.

  "Yes, ma'am." Cami spoke quietly again.

  There was the briefest of silences, and then Mama was not quiet any longer. "What in the world are you doing, having sex with a married man? What in God's name has gotten into your head, young lady? Did I raise you to act like that? You know better than that!

  “What kind of a world have you brought that little girl into? What kind of a future is she going to have now? I can't believe you did that. My own daughter, having an affair with a married man! What is in your head, young lady?" she demanded.

  Cami let out a huge breath of air. The worst was over. She had admitted it and Mama had gone through her rant and had finally stopped to listen. There would be more ranting, but the hottest burn of it was over.

  "I knew he was married, and it's no excuse, but his wife is a real piece of work and it just kind of happened. We really liked each other, and one night it just... uh... happened. Now he knows about Emma and he wants to take full responsibility for both of us. He is going to take care of all of our expenses; he's getting us a nice place to live, a car, and he's putting Emma on his insurance and paying me a huge amount of child support.

  “Mama he's paying me so much that I wouldn't have to work if I don't want to, but I do want to... so I'll still make my art, but, Mama, we're doing so good now that I won't have anything to worry about. It's like I have a good friend to help me through it all." Cami felt good saying all of it out loud, as though his support, responsibility and generosity had offered some semblance of redemption for them falling into each other's arms.

  Mama's voice was still loud and higher pitched. "Friends? He's putting you up and doing all of that for you and you think he's just going to be friends with you? Girl, you better wake up and smell the coffee. He's going to want a lot more from you than that. He's looking for a mistress, and my baby girl- both my baby girls, are better than that.

  “Don't you dare take him up on any of that nonsense! You take care of yourself and be your own woman; you be independent. I don't want you being some man-whore's kept woman. Don't you dare! That is not the kind of girl I raised!" Mama was starting to rant again.

  Cami shook her head. "No Mama, it's really not like that. I promise you, and if it was, I wouldn't do it, because you're right, you didn't raise me like that. Aside from the glaring fact that I have a child with a married man, it's the only time it ever happened and neither of us wants it to happen again. He just wants to step up to his responsibility and he's pretty well off financially, so in his eyes, he isn't buying me, he's just taking care of a situation that he created and feels completely responsible for."

  Mama was quiet for a short minute, and then she spoke in a softer voice. "What's his wife like? Does she know about you and Emma?"

  "No, Mama, I don't think she knows, and I think we're going to try to keep it that way for now. Maybe someday she will know. I mean, at some point she's bound to find out, don't you think? Who could keep their own child a secret from their family?" Cami hadn't really thought about that aspect of it, but now that she was talking to her Mama about it, she realized that Denise was going to be a step-mother to her daughter, and that put their situation in a whole new light for her.

  Mama seemed to think the exact same thing. "Well, when she does find out, you better keep an eye on her. She better be good to my little grandbaby or I'll put the fear of God into her."

  Cami laughed a little. "I know, Mama, we both feel that way. You and I are on the same page about that. Listen, I just wanted to let you know what's going on here; you know, that we're moving and why... and to let you know that everything is going to be okay and you don't have to worry about me doing any of this on my own. Everything is going to be okay, and I'm really happy, Mama, I'm not scared or worried anymore."

  She could hear her Mama smile through the phone. "Alright, well, I don't like what you told me, but it seems like it's all done now, so we'll look toward the future and we'll take it a bit at a time. That's the only way to do it, and you know that. Day at a time."

  "Yes ma'am," Cami answered her. "I love you Mama,”
she said gratefully.

  "I love you too, baby girl. You kiss Emma for me and tell her I miss her," Mama said with a smile. She knew Mama must be looking at one of her photos of Emma just then, as her voice got a little high and she sort of cooed.

  "I will." She hung up and pulled Emma from the car, heading in to their hotel with a glance around her new city. Things were going to be alright finally, and nothing felt better than that.

  ***

  Roman went home that afternoon with his head and his heart totally focused on the new change in his life. He had a daughter; a beautiful baby girl, and he was never going to be the same again. It seemed like nothing could bring him down, until he walked into the kitchen at home and was surprised to see his mother-in-law sitting at the kitchen table with his wife.

  "Uh... Agnes! How... how are you doing?" he asked, trying not to stumble over the words he spoke.

  She turned her face to him and narrowed her eyes. "I'd be a hell of a lot better if I wasn't sitting here looking at your rotten face," she snapped at him.

  Denise stood up and walked toward the wine cooler, pulled out a bottle of wine and started to decant it. "Mother is going to live with us now. She needed a good place to go, so I told her she could live here! Isn't that wonderful?" Denise giggled, grinning and bouncing as she spoke.

  Roman stared at Denise. "I don't know what to say," he said in a quiet tone, but then blinked and turned to look at Agnes who was swilling a tumbler of whiskey.

  "Uh... welcome, Agnes. Welcome home. It will be nice to have you here. I'm sure Denise will appreciate your... company." He felt like a rug had been ripped out from under his feet and he'd landed on his back hard enough that the wind was knocked out of him.

  He looked at his wife. "Denise, may I please talk with you in the other room?" he asked delicately, with a serious undertone.

  She turned and leveled her eyes at him. "Whatever you have to say, you can say in front of Mother. We have no secrets."

  Roman looked from Agnes to Denise, and then shook his head and shrugged his shoulders. "Alright. I think it would have been helpful if you could have mentioned this to me before it changed. Of course, Agnes is welcome here, but you should have talked with me about this first. You could have at least... mentioned it."

  Denise gave him a nasty look. "Why would I do that? This is my house too, and if she's welcome, then why would we need to talk about it? She is my mother, and if my mother wants to be here with me, then she's going to be here with me. It has nothing at all to do with you."

  Roman pursed his lips. "Thanks for being thoughtful." He looked at Agnes and smiled as best he could. "Agnes, if there's anything I can do to make your stay more comfortable, please let me know." He nodded and turned to walk out of the kitchen when Agnes stopped him.

  "Yeah, there are some things you could do to make this dump more comfortable!" She pulled a cigarette from her little painted leather cigarette case, snapped it shut, and lit her cigarette up, blowing smoke all over the kitchen.

  "You don't have any ashtrays around here. I had to use whatever I can find, and I got stuck using this crappy bowl." She nudged a beautiful blue and green hand-blown glass bowl by Dale Chihuly, and then ashed her cigarette in it. There was a thick pile of dead cigarette butts in the bowl.

  Roman closed his eyes for a moment and tried to still the clenching of his stomach. He took a deep breath and looked steadily at her. "That is a one-of-a-kind piece of artwork worth over fifteen thousand dollars. It was created especially for me, and signed by the artist. It's not an ashtray."

  "You think this ugly thing is artwork? Why am I not surprised,” she said with a nasty sneer. "Well, it's crap, but at least now it's practical, useful crap." She blew cigarette smoke at him and ashed in it again. "Another thing; what the hell is that thing you have me sleeping on up in my room? You are supposed to be so successful; can't you even afford to buy a decent mattress? That thing is hard as a rock! I want a new bed!"

  Denise piped up and rested her hand on her mother's arm. "Don't you worry about it, Mother, we'll have a decorator come in and redesign your room, and you and I can go shopping and buy any bed you want. I'll take care of you, and Roman can pay for it." She turned and narrowed her eyes at him again meaningfully.

  "Well thank heaven someone around here knows how to treat a guest. I must have raised you right, Denise. I just wish I'd have raised you with enough sense to marry a good man, because you sure got the short end of the stick with this one,” Agnes snapped.

  Roman bit his tongue, walked over to the cupboard and pulled a cereal bowl out of it, then walked over to the table and yanked the Chihuly glass from where it sat before Agnes. He turned the Chihuly upside down and emptied it into the cereal bowl, and then he pushed the cereal bowl in front of the older woman and looked at her meaningfully.

  "While you're out shopping, kindly pick up your own set of ashtrays. I'll be more than happy to buy them for you." He turned on his heel and walked out of the room with the Chihuly bowl still in his hand. It took him the better part of an hour, but he finally got it clean and smelling like it had never known burnt tobacco.

  He placed it up in his room on the third floor of his home; a room that only he ever saw the inside of, since his wife slept in her own room.

  After it was safely tucked away, he wandered through the house, looking for anything else he might want to protect, and wondering miserably how long she would be living with them.

  He ate dinner alone in the breakfast nook, which he usually did, unless Denise happened to want his company, which was rare. One of the good things about Agnes was that she went to bed early every night. One of the challenges about her was that she was up before dawn every morning and prowling about the house, bored and looking for things to get into. There was no way to escape her in the morning, and starting the day with her was a difficult thing for him to do.

  Roman was grateful that he had put Denise on a specific allowance each month so that she wouldn't bankrupt him. He had learned early on that it was best to curtail her spending ability, and now with her mother in the house, he knew that would be even more important.

  He also wondered, when he looked at Agnes, if he was looking at a version of what his wife would be like in thirty years. Denise had smoked when she was younger, but the day she saw her first wrinkle, she put the cigarettes down and hadn't touched them again; not for the sake of health, no, but rather for the sake of vanity.

  Roman went up to his room later that night and lay in his bed, staring at the ceiling and wondering about the profound changes in his life. He had wanted children when he was a younger man thinking about his future, but the idea of starting a family hadn't been at the forefront of his mind when he married Denise. Then after he had been married to her for a while and their relationship changed so much, he knew without a doubt that he didn't want to have children with her.

  The thoughts he had once had about having children fell away in the face of a cold and hollow marriage and a thriving business.

  Having a child became one of those things that fell into the life category of “I was going to do that, but it just didn't happen.” Well, now it had happened.

  Unexpectedly, of course, but his heart welcomed it. He had been blown away by the discovery that he was a father, and the knowledge of it warmed his heart and gave him a happiness he had not ever known before. He felt more whole than he had in all the years of living in an empty and meaningless marriage. He felt as though somehow his life had suddenly blossomed and developed deep meaning; he had something to look forward to and someone to love.

  Roman wondered how he would be able to explain to Denise how he had a child outside of their marriage, and what she would say to him. She was going to be Emma's step-mother, although she didn't know it yet. The thought of Denise as a step-mother contorted Roman's face with a look of doubt. She wasn't really cut out to be a mother, and he suspected that she may not be an ideal step-mother, either. He hoped that she would somehow be able t
o understand what had happened and accept Emma, because he wanted Emma in every facet of his life, including his home. Denise would have to make a choice, because in his heart of hearts, he knew that Emma was the one person who came before everyone else in his life now, and he loved it.

  His thoughts strayed to Agnes as he tried to picture her involvement with Emma, and his brain wouldn't let him think of her that way. Instead, he shook his head and told himself that it would be better if Agnes weren't involved with Emma at all.

  He caught himself chuckling at Janine, who had been so utterly delighted with Cami and Emma. He was grateful that she hadn't been judgmental at all, but rather welcoming and kind to Cami and Emma, and she'd taken to the baby right away. He hoped that somehow all of it would work out. It was that hope that he held to as he fell asleep alone that night.