Behind The Lies

by Dahlgren , Heather

  She looks at me and we both search each other’s eyes. I want so badly to kiss her again. The draw I feel to her is unreal. Something I’ve never experienced, not even with Sarah. Sticking out her tongue a bit she wets her lips, making me suppress a growl. She leans closer to me, begging me with her body for me to taste her again. Fuck, I want to, but I can’t.

  “Listen I’m going to be completely honest with you. Since I kissed you the other night, I can’t stop thinking about you. But until you figure out your relationship with Blake, I feel like I need to take a step back. You need to focus on that right now. I just want you to know that it isn’t because I’m not attracted to you.”

  She straightens herself and fidgets with her hands. “Oh sure.”

  Not saying anything else I feel like a complete asshole. “McKinley?” She looks at me through her long lashes and this time the growl escapes my throat. “Fuck.” I close my eyes for a second trying to regain some kind of control of the situation. When I open them, she is staring at me with pure lust. “How about this, you work on your relationship with Blake, and we will get to know each other?”

  She doesn’t seem excited but nods her head. “Alright.” She makes me feel awful, it’s like she took a page out of my girls’ book on how to make me give in. “I understand, I really do.”

  I stand up and look down at her with a grin on my face. “I’m going to start this over.” She dips her brow in confusion, and I smile. “Hi, my name is Braden Gregory. I have two beautiful daughters, an amazing sister, and a mom who I would lay my life down for. Even though my life has been flipped upside down the last year, I am loving it.”

  She gives me a huge smile and stands up, sticking her hand out for me. “Hi, I’m McKinley Dean. I’m from Louisiana. I’m here because I found out I had a brother and was hoping to form a relationship with him. My mom and I fight a lot because she wants me to settle in life and I refuse.”

  The last part has me intrigued. I like a woman who doesn’t want to settle, who goes after her dreams.

  I wink and nod toward the door. “You want to help me get the food started?”

  She agrees and we spend the next half hour getting everything ready. We don’t talk about anything but the food and I’m hoping to change that before everyone gets here.

  She helps carry out the steaks and I put them on the grill before we sit down.

  “So, do you have a girlfriend?”

  I chuckle and grin at her. “No, I don’t. I know you don’t know me yet, but that’s not me. I’m not the guy that will tell you one thing and mean another. Being honest is key in any relationship you have, friends, parents, siblings, and significant others. So, believe me, my lips would never have touched yours if they belonged to someone else.”

  Nodding her head, she looks out to the pool. “I guess I’ve never really had a relationship that needed hundred percent honesty before.”

  Out of instinct I reach over and place my hand on hers. Bad mistake because the feel of her skin on mine, even just her hand, has me wanting to pull her to me.

  I clear my head of those thoughts and say, “Why would you say that?”

  Looking at me with sadness or regret, I’m not really sure, she attempts a weak smile. “It’s just how my life has been.”

  “I guess it’s a good thing you came out here then. We are a tight bunch,” I say, earning me a genuine smile.

  I get up to flip the steaks and she follows. “So, what happened with you and your wife?”

  The question catches me off guard and with my back to her I answer, “We just didn’t work out.” It's a hard question to answer. I’m not ready to delve into that with someone new.

  Just as I’m about to change the subject the door opens and my girls come running out, bathing suits on and huge smiles.

  My mood shifts to pure joy just watching them. No matter what happened with Sarah, it was ultimately worth it for these two. They make life worth living.

  Chapter 5

  McKinley

  * * *

  Standing there watching Braden’s face light up when his daughters came barreling through the door is something to behold. I’ve never truly seen what someone’s face looks like when they are completely happy, but his face right now shows me.

  He bends down and scoops up both girls laughing as they both talk a mile a minute about their day with Kallie. She walks over and the four of them laugh and talk while I stand here in awe of it. I’m jealous of the connection Braden has with his daughters, I wish I had that with my dad, or I mean step-dad.

  The way he is with Kallie, makes my heart ache because I’ve never had that kind of relationship with anyone, never mind family. It’s selfish, I know that. I should be happy that these people have such a TV series kind of life, but I’m not. I deserved that growing up and I didn’t have it. I didn’t have anything close to that. It makes me want to be sure that I Blake and I get that connection because I am entitled damnit.

  I close my eyes and shake my head trying to get myself back in the state of mind I was in just moments ago. I wanted Braden to kiss me so badly, I could feel my body humming with sexual tension. When he admitted, he was attracted to me, but wanted me to work on with Blake first, it took the sting out of not having his lips on me…kind of. It all just makes me want him that much more, which is probably the worst thing possible right now.

  “McKinley, you remember Dawn and Tiffany, right?”

  Snapping out of my many thoughts I smile at the girls. “Of course, I do. I could never forget those beautiful faces.”

  Dawn giggles and looks up to Braden. “Can I go swim now Daddy?”

  “Yes, but stay in the shallow end until I’m over there alright?” She starts running for the pool and he calls her name. “Wait for your sister.”

  Tiffany goes running after her and they both jump in laughing.

  I take a minute to watch them splashing around before I turn back to Braden and Kallie. “They are really adorable.”

  “Yes, they are and believe me they know it.” We all laugh, and Kallie continues, “They had me in every store in the mall just by looking at me.”

  “Tell me about it,” Braden says, looking over at the girls with a huge smile on his face.

  “I can’t wait to get to know them better,” I say, meaning every word.

  “Well, you better hurry because they go home tomorrow and who knows when they will be back,” Braden huffs.

  Completely confused by this I look at Kallie who gives me a tight smile. “Braden doesn’t have custody of the girls. They come out for a few days every couple of months.”

  Ouch. How the hell is that possible? He’s a fabulous father from what I’ve seen. He dotes over those girls. I suddenly realize his ex-wife must be a real bitch. My real father wanted nothing to do with me, but Braden wants to be with his girls. She’s a bitch for not allowing it more.

  “Braden, I’m sorry I had no idea,” I say, gently touching his arm.

  He turns his head slightly and looks at my hand which I quickly drop.

  “Don’t be sorry, how could you have known. Anyway, why don’t you and Kallie go grab me the burgers and hot dogs.”

  Everyone is here once again, and I am having so much fun. The more time I spend with these people, the more I don’t ever want to leave. I’ve got a nice buzz going on, the food was just as Braden said it would be, delicious, and we’ve been laughing for what feels like hours.

  “I hate to do this, but I need to get these girls home. They have an early flight and I need to get them packed up tonight.”

  The mood shifts and we all turn to see the girls start to cry. My heart breaks watching them say goodbye to everyone. Braden takes their hands, but Dawn pulls away and runs over to me.

  “Bye McKinley. I hope you are here next time.”

  It catches me off guard when her little arms wrap around my neck, but I hug her back.

  “Bye Dawn. I had so much fun with you.”

  Tiffany comes over and m
imics her sister. “Bye Tiffany. Thanks for letting me play with you.”

  Braden picks up Tiffany and wraps his arm around Dawn.

  “I’ll see you around McKinley.” That’s it. He leaves with the girls and everyone is just quiet for a while.

  “Now we won’t see him for a few days,” Blake whispers in my ear. I tilt my head in question and he continues. “Sending the girls home rips him apart every time and it takes a few days before he is willing to talk to anyone again.”

  Looking to the door he walked out of, I can’t help but feel even sadder that I won’t be seeing him for a while.

  “Alright, let’s finish up here. I need to do a shoot still tonight.”

  Now that gets my attention and I turn to look at Kallie. She laughs when Jax pulls his shirt off.

  “Shoot me here, baby. We’ll do pool and hot tube shots.”

  I don’t know if he’s kidding or not, but the thought is getting me excited in more ways than one.

  “Can you do that?” I ask, looking back and forth between the two of them.

  “We can do anything we want. She’s the photographer and I’m the model she’s shooting.” He winks at me and I feel myself blush.

  “Hell, I’ll do it with him. I mean come on, who doesn’t want shots of me and Jax wet in the pool together?” Blake asks, pulling his shirt off. Earning more laughs from them all.

  I still don’t know if they are serious or what, but damn I hope they are. To watch an actual shoot would be exactly what I need.

  “London can be the chick.” He laughs pulling her off the chair.

  “Not a chance in hell. I write the books; I don’t model for them.”

  That’s right, she’s an author. I’m just surrounded by so much talent it amazes me.

  “Enough joking. I can’t shoot here like that. For one I don’t have my equipment and this particular shoot is in the bedroom. Although, if you guys are serious, I will set up a shoot here,” Kallie says, standing up and looking out toward the pool.

  “Baby, you know Blake and I will do anything you want. You name the day, and we will work it. Right, brother?” Jax says, kissing Kallie’s temple before looking over to Blake.

  “Whatever you need me for I’m there. Although I think we need a chick to at least make it hot.”

  I giggle this time, and everyone looks at me. “Sorry,” I say, looking away from them all.

  Of course, they laugh through the whole conversation and the one time I do I’m alone.

  “Don’t be sorry, damn. You’re allowed to laugh anytime you want. You don’t need to apologize for it.”

  If only my brother knew why I was laughing. It wasn’t because I thought the situation was funny, it was because I want to be the chick to make it hot. Which is a ludicrous thought and it made me giggle at myself. I’m such a damn fool.

  “Alright, this is definitely something we will get together,” Kallie says after kissing Jax’s bare chest.

  “You know, I would love a shoot with Jax and a woman in the pool or hot tube for my next book,” London says, getting giddy in her seat.

  “Why the hell would you say Jax and not me?” Blake asks, pouting in front of her.

  “Knock it off. I haven’t used Jax, and he is perfect for my next book. I just need to figure out the leading female,” she says, tapping her fingers on her lap.

  “London, think about it and give me your description and I’ll see who I have. But for now, we really need to get going.”

  Blake, London, and I say goodbye to them, and I now feel like I’m intruding. I should go find myself a hotel or something for the night. I’m sure London wants to have time alone with her boyfriend without me there.

  “Listen, I’ll go find a hotel so you guys can be alone. I’m not here to get in the way. I feel like I’ve already overstayed my welcome.”

  I get up and notice they look at each other and London gives him a small nod.

  “Wait McKinley,” Blake says. I look between them as they stand holding hands. “London and I were talking, and I know how weird it can be staying with someone when all you want to do is be alone. London stays here every night, and she has a great little house not too far from here that is empty. We’d like for you to stay there and once you get a job; you can pay rent to her. What do you think?”

  I look back and forth between them probably a hundred times because it doesn’t seem real. How can these people be so generous to me when they don’t know me? A house? An actual house? I’ve never in my life lived in one.

  “Wait, are you for real?”

  “Of course, we are. We wouldn’t have offered if we weren’t. It just doesn’t feel like home to me anymore. My home is wherever Blake is and that is here,” London says, earning a sweet kiss from Blake.

  “London has some writing to do, so you can follow me to the house. We can talk a little more when we get there,” Blake says.

  With my heart beating out of my chest, I go into the house and gather all my things before heading outside to follow Blake to what will be my new home. A home. I can’t wait.

  Blake has given me a tour of the house and I can’t believe this is real. It is beautiful, classy, and so much more than I’ve ever had in my life. “Let’s sit and talk for a little bit. We haven’t had any time, just the two of us. I want to know everything.”

  Ugh, I wish he didn’t want to know everything. “Well, I’ve told you pretty much everything. I grew up in a trailer. My relationship with my mom and step-dad is strained to say the least.”

  He cuts me off, “Why is it strained? You need to be honest with me. If it’s something I can fix or protect you from, I will do it, but I need to know.”

  I swallow a few times wiping my sweaty hands on my shorts.

  “Well, I never really got along with my step-dad. I wanted so much more for my mom and me. She just settled with the first guy that didn’t care that she had a kid. And that’s what she wants me to do, settle. I refuse to do it and she hates me for it.”

  “Damn you are a lot like me,” he says, laughing. “So, what is it you want that she doesn’t want you going after?”

  Here it is. I could easily skate around the truth or just put it out there and see what happens. A giggle escapes and he raises his eyebrows at me.

  “Well, if you thought we were a lot alike before this will really get you.” I swallow my nerves and look at him. “I want to be a model. Well, I guess you could say I am.”

  “Are you fucking serious? Why haven’t you said something until now?”

  I’m not sure from his tone if he’s angry or if he’s just loudly asking. I have so much to learn about him.

  “When I found out you were my brother, I didn’t think the best opener was that I was an aspiring model. Felt like I wanted more out of our relationship.”

  It’s a lie, but a lie he would never see-through. It seems so damn sincere, and I actually feel a little guilty for it.

  “Makes sense, but I wouldn’t have felt that way. You can tell me anything.” Fuck I’m a bitch. “Well tell me about your modeling. Who have you worked with, what have you done?”

  “There isn’t much to tell. I am from a small town and honestly, I’m embarrassed of the things I’ve done just for a feature in a magazine or new headshots.”

  He stands up, nearly knocking over the coffee table, and paces the floor. “Like what? What the fuck did you need to do?”

  The anger is radiating off of him and I stand up placing my hand on his arm to stop his pacing. “Blake, please. I’m sure you can use your imagination, it’s not something I want to talk about. I will show you my portfolio if you’d like.” He crosses his arms and nods his head. I beam with excitement as I go off to grab it for him. I know he wants details, but what does he want me to say? I sucked dick, slept with strangers, and sold my body for the little bit that I have? No way. He already thinks too little of me.

  I hand him my portfolio and he sits down on the couch to flip through it. My stomach is in knots
the whole time, especially when he doesn’t say a word. This is why I’m here; this is what I’m owed, and I’m terrified I will be rejected right now.

  He closes the book and looks up at me. “McKinely, let me take this book and show it to Kallie.”

  Excitement bubbles up inside me, but I don’t want to come off as greedy, so I shake my head. “No, that’s not why I showed you. Plus, it isn’t that great.”

  “I know that isn’t why you showed me, but what did I just tell you earlier? If there is something I can do to help you, I will do it. This is something I can do and do well. I have tons of connections, but none better than Kallie. Let her take a look and see what she says,” he pleads, holding the book closer to his chest.

  “Alright, I guess so. I mean I don’t know what to say. Thank you for wanting to help me with this.” He kisses the top of my head as he stands up.

  “That’s what brothers are for. Also, I know you need a job. Luckily for you, I have connections all over. London is the manager at a restaurant, and she told me she’d hire you as a waitress. You start on Monday. I’ll show you tomorrow where it is.”

  How is this real life? I mean no one has helped me before and in the last three minutes, Blake has given me a job and offered to help get me in with Kallie. It’s surreal.

  I wrap my arms around him, and he hugs me back. “Thank you, Blake. I’m so lucky to have you as my brother.”

  “Yes, you are.” We both laugh and he stops suddenly looking at me in all seriousness. “I have a lifetime of my father’s mistakes to make up for and I will do everything in my power to do that for you.”

  With that, he drops his cell number on the counter along with the keys to this palace and leaves.

  I stand in shock for a moment before I look around.

  “Holy fuck this is happening. It is all actually happening,” I scream and spin around in circles. My life has finally taken a turn down the right track and I sure as hell will do everything I can to keep it from derailing.