Behind The Lies

by Dahlgren , Heather

  She jumps up and runs out of the room screaming for Tiffany. I really hope that someone is home over there because I need someone to talk me down from calling that bitch. I call Kallie and she told me that they will meet us over there in a bit, but that London is home. So, I pack the girls up and we head over.

  When we pull up at the house, I don’t even need to say anything they both say they will be good. It makes me chuckle, but I’m proud they know what I expect from them. We knock on the front door and London opens it with a huge smile.

  “My favorite girls,” she says, hugging them both. “How are you?”

  They go on and on talking her ear off. I can’t help but smile. London is one of the most resilient people I’ve ever met in my life. She’s been through hell and back, yet she manages to be one of the most down-to-earth, big-hearted people I know. She loves life and if she can, anyone can.

  She tells them to go change and walks over to me giving me a hug. “Kallie told me. Don’t do anything that can be used against you. Hang here, let them swim and we’ll BBQ later. Blake will be home soon. You should invite McKinley over too.”

  “Thanks, London. I really appreciate it.” I kiss her cheek and look down the hall to make sure the girls aren’t coming. “The girls don’t know I’m dating McKinley and I need to keep it that way for now. If I go out front to call her, will you bring them out back when they are done?”

  “Of course, go.”

  I thank her and go out front to call McKinley. When I hear her voice, I close my eyes wishing I could hold her in my arms. “Hey, we are over at Blake’s and we are going to BBQ later. You want to come hang out?”

  “Definitely, I just need to change, and I’ll be on my way,” she says. I let out a sigh, scrubbing my face. “What’s wrong?”

  “I’m just pissed because Sarah is talking shit to the girls and I don’t like it. I need this to be done so I have them.” I sit down on the steps and rub my forehead.

  “That’s fucked up. You need to talk to your lawyer and maybe he’ll move to have the date pushed up.”

  “True, I’ll call him when the girls go back,” I say, looking back at the door to see if anyone is there.

  “Hey, don’t let this get the best of you. You know what a bitch she is and should honestly expect this. I did, to be honest. But listen, I changed and I’m walking out the door. I’ll be there in a few and we can talk,” she says and I hear the car door close.

  “Text me when you are here, don’t come inside. I’ll meet you out front,” I say and hang up.

  I go to the backyard and the girls are already in the pool splashing around.

  I sit down on the edge by London, and she smiles at me. “They are so good, Braden.”

  “Thanks.” I appreciate the compliment. They are good girls and I want to make sure it stays that way.

  We watch them splashing around and laugh at them just being kids. So carefree and just enjoying the little things like swimming. Makes me realize I should enjoy the little things more. I worry so much about them, but they don’t seem fazed by anything that is going on.

  I feel my phone buzz and pull it out. It’s a text from McKinley. “Hey, London, McKinley is here. Can you give me five minutes?”

  “Take your time. I’ve got this,” she says and smiles when I squeeze her hand.

  “Girls, I’m going to the bathroom. Listen to London.”

  I go inside and right out the front door. McKinley is leaning against her car and pushes off when she sees me. I walk over to her and before she can say anything I pull her to me and crash my lips to hers. She lets out a soft moan and I push her back against her car and deepen the kiss. It’s like I haven’t seen her in days, yet it’s only been since this morning. I need her to relax me, to remind me of how happy I truly am.

  I break the kiss and rest my forehead on hers. “I needed you.”

  “I’m right here. Are you alright?” she asks, rubbing her hand up and down my back.

  “I’m alright now. I was really pissed, but you’re right, I shouldn’t expect less. And having my girls and you here is all I need,” I say, kissing her lips. I look back at the door with the mention of my girls and back to her. “Damn, this is going to be tough.”

  “Hey, it’s only a few days and for the girls. It is worth it, right?”

  Is it worth it? I don’t know. I feel like I’m hiding a dirty secret from them when it is the complete opposite. McKinley is the best thing to happen to me, besides my girls. I just wish I knew when the right time to tell them is.

  “Just know it will be killing me not to touch you,” I say, pulling her to me.

  We finally break apart and go into the house. She goes outside first, and I want a minute longer to follow. It makes me feel like shit like I’m a damn teenager hiding something from my mom.

  “Daddy, look McKinley is here,” Dawn yells from the pool and my heart swells. At least they like her, that’s huge.

  “I see, that’s great, isn’t it?” I say, sitting on the pool edge next to her.

  Dawn shakes her head, yes and Tiffany comes swimming over in her tube. “Daddy, I need to pee.” Of course, she does.

  “Get out and I’ll take you.”

  She shakes her head no. “No, you’re a boy.”

  I chuckle and get up. “I am, but I’m your dad so it’s alright. I did teach you how to use the potty, remember?”

  She gets out of the pool and runs over to me. “Can McKinley bring me?”

  “No, she just got here,” I say.

  “Of course, I can bring her.” She jumps up and grabs her hand. “Come on beautiful girl.”

  I smile watching them walk away and she turns her head to look at me. I mouth ‘thank you’ and she gives me a sweet smile. Damn, this girl is everything to me.

  The day has turned to night and both girls are passed out on the couch. Kallie, Jax, Blake, London, McKinley, and I are sitting out back enjoying the cool night air.

  “Braden, you need to nip this shit. Talk to your lawyer and get those girls away from her,” Kallie says, sipping on her beer.

  “I know Kallie, but I’m not going to do anything while they are here. When they go home, I’ll take care of it.”

  The longer the day went on, the more I realized I made a big deal out of nothing. She’s always going to try to get a rise out of me, that’s just the way things are. Now, I wish I never said anything about it because it’s all everyone is talking about. Especially, Kallie, she’s more pissed than I was.

  “Good, because I swear to God if she thinks she’s taking those girls away, I will go there myself and kick her ass,” she says, getting a bit loud.

  I chuckle as Jax wraps his arms around her. “Kallie, relax. No one is going to take them anywhere,” I say and adjust McKinley who is sitting on my lap.

  “He’s right, but just in case, Kallie I’ll go with you,” McKinley says, and they high five across the table. Unreal.

  “Anyway, a different subject, please. I’m sick of talking about her,” I say, kissing McKinley’s shoulder.

  “I’ve got another question,” Kallie says, and I can hear the slur of her words. She’s trashed.

  “Maybe we should go,” Jax says.

  “Not yet,” she says, standing up. “Braden, why are you hiding your relationship with McKinley? I mean fuck Sarah and what she thinks. McKinley is amazing and you are hiding her away from the girls like she’s your sex toy. I’m going to tell them daddy has a girlfriend.”

  Jax jumps up faster than I can and grabs her. “Stop it. That is your brother’s business,” he says, wrapping his arm around her.

  I, on the other hand, see red. I kiss McKinley and stand up. “Kallie, I love you and I know you are drunk, but you are so out of line right now. I expect you to respect my decisions, just like I respect yours. And let’s not forget you hid Jax away for a long time, so don’t fucking judge me for doing what I feel is in the best interests of my girls.”

  McKinley comes over and wraps her a
rms around me, but I am still pissed and watching Kallie.

  “Relax, it’s just us here. No one is judging anyone. If I’m fine with it, it shouldn’t matter. Right?” I still don’t say anything, and she says it louder, “Right Braden?”

  I finally look down at her and nod my head. “Right.” I kiss her lips and pull her in for a hug. “I’m taking the girls home. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

  Even though they are all telling me to wait, I just go into the house and get the girls. I pick them both up and hope I don’t wake them. I don’t until I get them into the truck. Tiffany starts crying and Dawn is complaining about how tired she is. The ride home, needless to say, sucks. Thankfully once we get there and I put them in bed, they both just roll over and fall back to sleep.

  I go out onto the deck and sit down. I feel bad for snapping at Kallie, but she just said out loud what I was thinking. I do feel like I’m hiding McKinley. Sneaking in a kiss here and there when we were alone. A nonchalant touch when we walked by each other. It was awful and once the girls fell asleep, I was all over her.

  I drop my head into my hands and blow out a breath. I’m such an asshole and not used to having my emotions all over the place like this. The thing is when the girls are here all I worry about is the custody case. Now that I’m with McKinley, I guess not having her here is fucking with me.

  “Hey.” I snap my head up and nearly fall out of my seat when I see McKinley standing there.

  “Hey.” I get up and grab her, holding her close. “I’m sorry. I’m all over the place today. I shouldn’t have left you like that.”

  “I’m not mad. I just came to check on you. I’ve never seen you pissed off before and I was worried,” she says, squeezing me harder.

  “Sit down, I need to talk to you,” I say and pull away from her. We sit down and I look at her, noticing that she looks nervous. “I am pissed, but not at Kallie, at myself, because she’s right.”

  “Braden, that’s not true. You’re doing what is best for the girls. I told you I get that that’s all that should matter,” she says.

  “It should matter, you’re right, but I can’t help how I feel. I feel like I live a completely different life when the girls aren’t around and that’s fucked up.” I scrub my face, unsure of why this is all bothering me so much tonight.

  “Listen, you need this time with the girls. They need your full attention. You can’t be stressed out or beating yourself up when they are only here for a few days at best. So this is what is happening. I’m going to give you a kiss, a kiss that will keep you smiling for days. When the girls leave, call me,” she says, standing up.

  “No, you’re misunderstanding.” I jump up and stand in front of her.

  “I’m not the one misunderstanding, Braden. I grew up with a man that tried to act like my father, but he did a shitty job at it. I finally foundhr out who my real father is and months later I still haven’t met him. Don’t be that guy. Be present for your girls because I’m not going anywhere. This isn’t going to chase me away. Seeing you be a man and love your kids, that’s about one of the sexiest things there is.”

  She smiles at me and my heart breaks for her, but she’s right. I need to be a dad first and everything else can and will wait.

  I move the hair off her face and rub my thumb across her lips. “You’re right, thank you for putting me in my place.” She smiles and I move my face closer to hers. “This better be one hell of a kiss.”

  And damn is it ever. Once our tongues collide, I deepen the kiss. I kiss her with everything I have, and she kisses me back with the same. I can feel it, this thing between us growing and deepening, right here, right now. I know in this moment that I am falling in love with her.

  When we pull away from each other, she gives me a half-smile. “I need to go.”

  I nod my head and watch her walk away, but it doesn’t hurt like it should, because I know this is just the beginning of amazing things for us.

  The next few days are spent with the girls. We spend the days on the beach and even a few nights sitting by the fire. I took them to the zoo, shopping, and a big family dinner at my mom’s last night. She wasn’t happy I didn’t let them stay, but they are leaving today, and I wanted to be with them last night.

  The time always goes so fast when they are here. A few days feels like a few hours. Driving them to the airport always makes my heart hurt and my stomach turn. I hate putting them on a plane alone all the time, but I’m crossing my fingers it won’t be for much longer.

  We are at the gate and this is the hardest part. I need to be strong when all I want to do and cry. “Dawn, you watch after your sister. Tiffany, you listen to Dawn.” They both nod and I pull them in for a tight hug. “I love you both so much. Be the best girls.”

  “I don’t want to go back. I like it here with you better, Daddy,” Dawn says with tears in her eyes.

  “It’s only for a little while. Before you know it, you’ll be back out here.”

  “Sir, we need to get the girls to their seats,” the flight attendant says.

  I pick them up and hold them both tight. “I love you both. Call me if you need anything, I don’t care what time it is. I’m always here for you.”

  I put them down and they look up at me with sad eyes. “Bye Daddy,” Tiffany says and grabs onto Dawn’s hand.

  “Bye Daddy. I love you,” Dawn says just as the flight attendant ushers them into the tunnel.

  I let a few tears fall before going to the window to watch them take off. It’s the exact same every time they leave. So once the plane leaves, I know I’m going home and getting drunk. The only difference this time is that McKinley will be in my bed.

  Chapter 15

  McKinley

  * * *

  Walking away from Braden the other night was so damn hard, but it needed to be done. I don’t want to be the reason he is feeling guilty. He shouldn’t be, he’s an amazing father and that’s all he needs to be when his girls are here. I only wish I had that kind of love from a father growing up.

  I’ve kept myself busy without him these last few days, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t excited as hell to see him tonight. I remember when I first got here, and everyone said he would hide away for days after the girls left. I’m just hoping he isn’t like that this time. If he is, I will wait for him, I’m not going anywhere.

  Kallie sent me the photos she took and holy shit, I’ll admit I look amazing. I set up my page and started sharing the photos and I had an author inbox me interested in using one of them for a cover. It is overwhelming in the best possible way and I can’t wait to tell Braden everything.

  I’m just leaving work, and my feet are killing me. Getting home and in the shower is the only thing I want to do right now, but I told Blake I’d stop by. We haven’t had much time together and he said he wanted to talk. I get into my car and look in the mirror to fix my makeup. I can’t help but smile at how different and amazing my life is. Never did I think things would ever be this good for me, but they are and I’m so happy. Happy is not something I’m used to, but it is something that now that I have, I never want to let go of.

  I knock on Blake’s door and he opens it with a small smile on his face. “You don’t need to knock, I’m your brother. You can just walk in,” he says.

  I giggle and he pulls me in for a hug, before leading me to the backyard. We sit down and he lights a cigarette, and I watch as the wind carries away the smoke.

  I turn to him and smile. “So, what’s up?”

  He doesn’t look at me, he keeps his focus on the pool and I’m starting to get a little nervous. He takes a big drag and blows it out, before looking at me quickly. “I talked to my, I mean our, dad. I told him you were here, and he wants to meet you.”

  This takes me by complete surprise. I honestly didn’t think that he would want anything to do with me. I mean he just left and never looked back. Part of me is kind of excited that he wants to meet me, but the other part is nervous for how that encounter m
ight go.

  “I mean if you want to meet him. It’s totally up to you,” he says, breaking my thoughts.

  “Oh, yes. I mean I’d like to meet him, I guess I’m just surprised he would want to meet me. You know?” I say, biting my cheek.

  “He’d be an even bigger asshole if he didn’t want to meet you,” he says, making me smile.

  “Will you be there?” I suddenly feel like a child who needs someone to hold my hand.

  “McKinley, I will always be there for you.” God, how did I get so lucky, I think looking at this man who just accepted me as his sister with no reservations. “You let me know when you want to meet, and I’ll have him here for dinner. How does that sound? Bring Braden, because obviously, London will be here.”

  I take a deep breath and reach my hand out to him. He grabs it and squeezes it. “Okay, that sounds good. I am free tomorrow night if that works for everyone else. I think it’s best to just do it and not drag it out, because I’ll admit I’m nervous,” I say, giving him a weak smile.

  “Tomorrow it is. Don’t be nervous, I’ll always have your back no matter what. That’s what family does,” he says and stands up to give me another quick hug.

  “Thanks, Blake. I couldn’t have handpicked a better brother.”

  He releases me and smiles. “Oh, believe me, I know. I’m the best there is.”

  We both laugh and sit back down. We bullshit for the next hour about everything and anything. He’s so damn easy to talk to and even though it’s only been a few months, I feel like we’ve known each other our whole lives. I wish we had grown up together and could share the memories like Kallie and Braden do, but I’m grateful to start making memories now.

  Braden texts me, asking me to come over for dinner. I’m relieved to see that he isn’t hiding away. I tell Blake I need to go. He walks me to my car and tells me he will be in touch tonight to iron out the details of dinner tomorrow. I thank him again and head home to shower before going to see Braden.