Edge of Disaster

by A. M. Hargrove

  The waitress was there in seconds, ready to make us less thirsty.

  “What would you like Alexia?” The rich timbre of his voice had me leaning toward him, wanting more.

  I didn’t think a beer would be appropriate, so I ordered a chardonnay.

  “The house?” the waitress wanted to know.

  I was getting ready to say that was fine when Pearce interrupted and said, “Bring her a glass of the Hanzell Chardonnay.”

  “Sir, we don’t have that by the glass.”

  “Then bring a bottle. Make sure it’s appropriately chilled to fifty degrees. And bring me a Laphroaig 18 neat please.”

  Shit! Hanzell Chardonnay and Laphroaig 18...I am so out of my element here.

  “Right away sir.”

  “I didn’t take you for a Scotch drinker,” I said.

  “No? Tell me why.”

  “You were so fussy about the food I just figured you’d like something less complex.”

  He laughed. “It was an act to get you to pay more attention to me,” he confessed.

  I looked at him and rolled my eyes. I think I’d figured that out already.

  The waitress returned with our drink order. She uncorked the bottle of wine and poured a sample in the glass, waiting for Pearce to taste it. He looked at her in annoyance and said, “The lady should be tasting it. She’s the one drinking it.”

  “Yes sir, pardon me.” She kept ogling him and I couldn’t blame her. He was oh so easy on the eyes.

  I took a sip and the wine was heavenly. Rich and creamy with hints of pear, honeydew and cloves, it was perfectly delightful.

  “Mmm. This is totally delicious.”

  “I thought you’d enjoy it. If you like chards that is.”

  “What? You’re not a chard fan?”

  “No, I like them. I was just saying that. So tell me more about the beautiful Alexia.”

  I stiffened. This was so not what I wanted to do. The last thing I wanted was to focus on me. What would I say? Oh, right, I’m a slut that likes to do drugs. I rubbed my hands on my legs, and then fisted them, feeling my nails biting into my palms.

  “There’s really not much to tell,” I said stiffly.

  “Okaaay. I get it. You don’t want to talk about yourself. Are you a bank robber? Do you break into people’s homes when they’re on vacation and steal their valuables?”

  I started to laugh. “Of course not. I’m a waitress and personal assistant to the lovely Lisbeth Rutledge, whom I adore.”

  “I know Lisbeth. She and my Grandmother are great friends. She’s a real gem.”

  “That she is. I was lucky she found me.”

  “How’d she do that?”

  “Well, truthfully, I answered a rental ad for her carriage house. Then when she told me the monthly fee, I had a heart attack. Afterward, she confessed she’d been on the hunt for a personal assistant that was reliable so we made a deal. I’d be at her beck and call in exchange for rent. It’s been the best deal I’ve ever made. She’s a wonderful friend to me and I don’t know what I’d do without her.”

  He leaned back in his chair and nodded. He had a perfectly beautiful smile on his face and I couldn’t help but smile back.

  “What?” he asked.

  “What what?” I tried to deflect his question.

  “What’s that look about?”

  “Oh, I didn’t realize I had a look.” Now only one corner of his mouth turned up. I wanted to sit on his lap and run my fingers through his hair and kiss that corner of his mouth. Damn he was hot. Why couldn’t I just be a normal girl who wasn’t afraid of getting involved or ashamed of what she’d done in the past? Why couldn’t I wake up in the morning and just be Lexi, without the guilt or baggage that I’d carried for the past three years?

  “What?”

  “What? Me?”

  “Yeah you. You had a look on your face.”

  I felt my cheeks grow super hot, so I sent up a quick prayer of thanks for the darkness that surrounded us. Unless of course they were neon red, which was a possibility. I gave my head a firm shake and grinned.

  “Please let me take you to dinner,” his voice pleading.

  My face crashed to the floor.

  “What is it?” he asked, concern oozing out of every pore of him.

  “Look, you really don’t want to take me out. You need to go out with someone that...well, with someone that deserves you.”

  “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

  “It means that I’m a mess and you don’t need to be dealing with someone like me right now. Please don’t push this. I swear if you do, you’ll only end up hating me.”

  He looked at me with a furrowed brow. “I don’t understand but the fact that you won’t even clue me in pretty much pisses me off.”

  “It’s personal.”

  “The fact that I’m attracted to you and want to take you to dinner is pretty personal too.”

  I twisted my hands together in my lap. “Look, I’ve been through some tough times and right now I’m pretty fucked up. Plain and simple. I need to straighten my shit out before I get involved with anyone. And the last thing you need is to try to fix me.”

  “Who said I’d try to fix you? I want to take you to fucking dinner.” He sounded insulted.

  Our voices had risen so I backed off and said, “Can we finish our drinks and go somewhere private to discuss this?”

  “To what end Alexia? You’ll refuse so I think we finish our drinks and call it a day.”

  “You’re right.”

  We sat there in silence sipping away. I felt like an ass but I knew it was the right thing to do. Miss Slut didn’t need to get involved with a nice guy. Besides, I needed to get those test results back before I got involved with anyone, period.

  The waitress came with our check and I offered to pay for the wine. He shook his head and said not to worry about it because I probably couldn’t afford it anyway. I stiffened at his comment and stole a glance at the bill but decided instantly he was right. That stupid bottle of wine cost one hundred and sixty dollars. No damn wonder it tasted so good!

  We headed out of the bar and I was regretting this moment. I wanted nothing more than to latch on to his neck and kiss his lips. I wanted to feel his arms tighten around me and hold me closely against him, like I meant something to him...not just a sleazy chick out for a night of fucking. I felt my throat tightening up so I bent my head down and stared at my bright pink toes.

  “Thanks for the wine. It was really good.”

  “You’re welcome Alexia. If you ever change your mind about dinner sometime, you have my number.”

  “Okay,” I choked out. I shoved my hands in my pockets. I dared not look up because he would see the glistening tears in my eyes, which had now bullied their way past my lids onto my cheeks. Damn them.

  I moved quickly down the sidewalk, past the shops I usually liked to look in.

  Will I ever get past being scared of getting involved with anyone ‘cause out of all the guys I’ve met since Peter, this one really has me rattled? He’s way too good for me though so I know there’s no use getting my hopes up. When he finds out about my past, he’ll be running faster than Usain Bolt going for a gold medal. Shit, this whole thing scares the hell out of me too. It’s totally hopeless.

  I dashed all the way down King Street and hung a right on Queen. I kept going, not really seeing anything, not paying attention. I heard a scuffling when I was jerked from behind and an arm went around my neck, putting me in a chokehold. I felt my head begin to swim from lack of oxygen, when a harsh voice whispered in my ear.

  “Do as I say and you won’t get hurt.”

  The panic escalated then because at first I didn’t realize what was going on. I started to struggle. I elbowed my assailant in the gut as hard as I could and then brought my foot down on his. Flip flops aren’t real good for fighting, nor do they make great getaway shoes. I tried to run but he just stepped on the back of my flip flop, and it halted me for
a second, which was long enough for him to smack me upside the head. My neck snapped back and he hit me again, but this time it was with his fist. It felt like the lights went out in Georgia, South Carolina and the rest of the Southeast.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  I woke up with my wrists and ankles bound with those plastic cable ties. Every time I tried to wriggle around, the ties gouged into my skin, causing me to wince in agony. Blood seeped around the edges of both, and they were so painful that I tried to hold myself as still as possible. Duct tape was not only covering my mouth, but the dude had wrapped it around my head too. The shit was even in my hair. My head felt like it had been used at a bowling ball for a weekend tourney. I was in a dark room...a closet perhaps. I couldn’t really tell, but I knew it was tiny because I couldn’t straighten out my legs.

  Every muscle and bone in my body screamed. I tried to move my mouth but the tape prevented that. I leaned my head back against the wall and closed my eyes. The pain was bad but the fear was worse. I was scared. Heart pounding and gut wrenching scared.

  Hours later but what seemed like days, I heard the door scrape open and a man appeared in front of me. He was wearing a ski mask. He reached for my arms and pulled me to my feet. I was so stiff from sitting in that scrunched up position that I moaned when he moved me.

  “You can save your moaning for later because there’ll be lots of it where we’re going.”

  I wanted to ask him questions, but I had that tape over my mouth so I couldn’t talk. I tried but it was just a bunch of garbled stuff that came out.

  He blindfolded me and threw me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. My body hurt so bad I wondered how long I could take the movement. I felt myself being carried for a distance and then I heard another door opening. He tossed me down and I landed on something soft, like a bed. I started to panic again because I knew where this was going. I felt him tearing at my clothes and the cool air hit my naked skin.

  Then someone said, “Don’t tear her clothes. We have to redress her you idiot.”

  There was more than one person here. I heard laughter as he slid my pants off and pulled off my shirt. Panic seized me as hands started groping me everywhere. I was bruised all over from the beating so it was torture whenever they touched me. I felt the tears pouring out of my eyes but I still tried to bow off the bed and fight as best as I could. It only earned my some more punches. I prayed they would knock me out so I didn’t have to go through this in a conscious state, but they must have known my intentions because the one that carried me here said, “Don’t knock her out. I don’t want to fuck a zombie.”

  That brought down the house. There was knee slapping and hoots, but there wasn’t much talk. The room reeked of alcohol so I knew they were all drunk. That could work against me. If the alcohol prevented them from performing, they could take it out on me. I kept hearing one of them repeating, “Don’t kill her. I don’t want to go to jail.”

  Another one answered, “Shut up you idiot.” Then I heard more scuffling.

  Who were these guys and why were they doing this? I kept asking myself this. I had never done anything that I could think of that would warrant this kind of behavior from someone. I wasn’t cruel or mean spirited in any way. Here I was being raped by God only knew how many men. Maybe this was God’s way of punishing me for my sordid behavior. Maybe this was my payback. Whatever it was, I wanted it to be over. I fought and squirmed and wriggled around. I knew they would have to cut those ties that bound my ankles to get my pants off and spread my legs. Cooperating with them was not going to be a part of my plan. They’d have to kill me to get what they wanted. Being a slut was one thing. Getting raped was another. I wouldn’t let them have this part of me without the fight of my life.

  When that cable tie snapped, so did my mind. My legs went batshit crazy and my adrenaline spiked at the same time. I kicked everything and anything within reach. Everyone started yelling and screaming. They tried to get a hold of my ankles, but they were drunk and uncoordinated and for once, I had sobriety on my side. If only I could get up, I could make a break for it. My hands were useless and I was outnumbered, but I wasn’t giving up.

  I heard a bunch of scrambling and the door opened again. Then someone knocked me in the head and everything started to swim. I heard another loud voice boom, “What the fuck’s going on in here?”

  I was so out of it, I couldn’t really process what was happening. I must’ve I passed out for a while because the next thing I knew I was being jostled around in the back of a van. We must have been driving on a road full of potholes. The first thing that came to mind was I thought they were going to kill me and dump my body. I started to struggle again...or at least I tried. There wasn’t any part of my body that didn’t hurt excruciatingly by now and I was so weak, that my attempts were feeble at best. Someone cuffed me on the head and everything went black again.

  ********

  Voices. I heard voices. They were in the distance. At least that’s what I thought at first.

  “Miss, can you hear me? Miss?”

  “Call 911. Hurry up. She’s hurt really bad.”

  I wanted to answer him, but my mouth wouldn’t work. My brain understood what he was saying, but there was some kind of disconnect going on. I also wanted to tell him I hurt. So bad. Everywhere. I think I passed out again.

  The next time I woke up I saw red flashing lights everywhere. There were paramedics surrounding me and they were hooking me up to all kinds of things. They finally cut the duct tape off my mouth and I started screaming.

  “Miss, it’s okay. We’re going to take you to the hospital now.”

  They fastened some kind of neck brace around me and then placed me on a board. I was transferred onto one of the ambulance beds, and they slid me in the vehicle and off we went with the sirens blaring.

  Since it was dark out I begged them to keep the lights on inside. There was one female paramedic and she held my hand and assured me they wouldn't turn off the lights. I couldn’t bear to think of being in a small dark space. We arrived at the Emergency Department of the Medical University and things moved with lightning speed. I had a small skull fracture but no brain swelling they said. They explained that I had a lot of other injuries, including a broken wrist and ankle, four fractured ribs and two stab wounds in the gut and a ruptured spleen that would require surgical repair. They were preparing the O.R. and I was waiting to be wheeled in when Pearce showed up by my bedside in his scrubs.

  “How are you feeling? I know it’s a lame question.” His voice was so soft, I was comforted by it.

  “I’m not sure,” I answered in a low, shaking voice. “I hurt. All over. Bad.”

  “I know. They gave you something and you should feel it soon. Alexia, I’m on call but I turned your case over to another trauma surgeon. Under the circumstances, I thought it best if I didn’t do your surgery. I’m scrubbing in though, if that’s okay with you.”

  “I don’t even know what that means,” I answered. My mind was so befuddled by everything I barely knew my own name. My head felt like someone was driving a spike through the side of it that I couldn’t think straight.

  He smiled and I wanted to smile back but I couldn’t because I was in so much pain and I was shaking so badly. “It means I’ll be in the operating room but I won’t be doing the procedure. If you don’t want me in there, just say the word. My feelings won’t be hurt Alexia.”

  “No, it’s okay,” I mumbled. My teeth were chattering.

  He pulled my blanket up and tucked it around me. “You’re in shock and that’s making you feel cold. I’ve looked at all your tests and you’re going to be good Alexia. You hear me? You’re going to be fine. They’re going to fix you up.”

  “Yeah. Guess so. Add this to my list of being fucked up and I’ll be okay...just fine.” I tried to wipe the tears off my cheeks but I had so many damn tubes and wires hooked up to me that my hands couldn’t get there. And my arms fucking screamed with pain. He took care of it for me as
he took the corner of my blanket and gently dabbed my face with it.

  “I’ll be in there with you. I’ll be holding your hand. The one that’s not injured.” He smiled then.

  I don’t know if it was the morphine or the shock but me and my big sappy mouth blurted out, “Your smile.”

  “Yeah? What about it?” he wanted to know.

  “Amazing...never seen anything like it in my life. Do me a favor?”

  He laughed and said, “Sure, what is it?”

  “Smile for me right before they turn my lights off, will you?”

  “Um yeah, but Alexia, I’ll be wearing a mask so you won’t see it.”

  “Oh. Didn’t think of that.” I tried to laugh it off, but I ended up making a weird sound instead.

  Right then the team of nurses entered the bay and said, “Are you ready Ms. Hammond?”

  “Do I even have a choice?”

  Pearce added, “No Alexia you don’t. I promise I’ll be holding your hand.”

  “Swear?” I blurted out.

  “I swear.” And then he kissed me, a sweet gentle kiss on my forehead.

  “Thanks Doc,” I whispered as they wheeled me out.

  PEARCE

  When I got the call, I went to the hospital, never expecting it to be her. And to see her like that. Bloody, beaten and stabbed! I almost tore the place up. Alexia! How? Why?

  My emotions ran wild. I immediately pulled myself off her case and called in one of my partners. Then I went into the locker room and punched and kicked in a wall. I’d be hearing from the administration over that one, but I could give a shit. My girl out there was hurting.

  Wait, what was this ‘my girl’ shit? She wouldn’t give me the time of day. I couldn’t even get her to go to goddamn dinner with me. Fuck. And now here she was at the trauma center, injured and me not knowing what the hell had happened to her. EMS brought her in after getting a call and that’s all I knew. I was headed to scrub in, but stopped to see her on my way to the O.R. God, even as bruised and battered as she was, she was still perfect in my eyes. There was something about her that I couldn’t get out of my mind. They way she walked, talked, moved, everything. I just wish she’d give me a fucking chance and I’d show her the world.