Scott Nicholson Library Vol 2

by Scott Nicholson

  And I nodded like an idiot.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Gloom and despair!

  Disaster and ruin!

  The agony of it all!

  “You with us on this or what, Andy?” Juan said. “You look like you crapped your pants and are now sitting in the cooling feces.”

  “You are an orator of the flesh, if not a vampire of the heart,” said I to my Spanish friend. Juan bowed at the compliment. “Of course I’m with you, but I don’t have to like it.”

  “I think you’ve made that quite clear,” said Janice with a snap of her jaw, like a moray eel ripping a mousefish in half. “All your bickering and complaining is getting old.”

  “I only bicker because I have seen the light.”

  “The only light you’ve seen is your white ass in the mirror,” said Buddy. I was about to ask how he was so sure my ass was white—which it quite is—and why in the world I’d want to even look at it in any mirror, but his berating continued: “We’ve wasted enough time with this. Sure, Dial and his cousins act a little weird, but, hey, what family doesn’t?”

  My mouth was working. I needed to say something, but I knew my words would carry no weight, for the rest of the group was all nodding along with Buddy.

  “And poor Dial Toen, Andy. You had him painted as a cut-throat vampire hunter. But he’s so sweet and charming.” You guessed it. Those words were uttered by my Janice. She was in love with the enemy.

  But I also noticed no one had invited him along. It was almost like he had skipped our club to join a bigger club. Like he knew which team was going to win. And I couldn’t convince my friends this was all a set-up.

  I stood there alone, encircled by my bitter fellow members of The Vampire Club—the hub of their resentment. They were beyond reason, and I could only stare at my clenched knuckles, which were whiter than my supposed bare ass.

  “So, you coming with us or what?” Buddy said.

  It’s hard to look your friends in the eye when they’re so disgusted with you. Hell, maybe I was wrong about the VVV. It was all rumors and whispers, anyway, no viable sources.

  Now I was trying to figure out the facts that had once seemed so factual, but which now danced about my head like a phantom that was doomed to do the two-step for eternity. I was no longer so positive. Yes, it would seem so easy to just go along with everyone else. Go with the flow. But I just couldn’t. Every warning system in my body was clambering. Things were not right here.

  Andy, I told myself. You’ve just investigated things. You’ve seen first-hand how they’re keeping a watch on you. You’ve heard part of their meeting. Listened to the loose tongue of the breakfast cook. The clues are all there. The only thing you don’t have is the smoking gun.

  “Of course I’m coming,” I answered Juan, jutting out my chin.

  “All right,” said Juan. “Let’s do it. It’s getting late. Buddy, you go fetch Dial while we get set up here.”

  There was a tangible stir of excitement around me, and I was not part of it. Across the room, Professor L closed his eyes and shook his head.

  I shook my head also. We were getting ourselves into some deep doo-doo. Catastrophic caca, perilous poop, frightful feces—

  I stopped myself, but I think the professor would have been proud.

  Chapter Twenty

  I was a lousy president.

  Why couldn’t my friends and colleagues see the light of truth that was shining so clearly? Wasn’t it obvious we were walking into a death trap? Or could it still be possible that the professor and I had simply misinterpreted honest signals? Misread vital clues?

  After all, most of what I had was a gut feeling, and my gut was packed with eggs.

  But maybe they were right. Maybe part of me feared that all my life had led up to that moment, and if we actually discovered a vampire, my life would be pointless from then on.

  Maybe I was scared to have my dreams come true.

  And at that very moment, walking with the others on the dark road just outside the mansion, I knew the VVV were tailing us, though I wondered how those huge creatures could move through the woods without making a sound.

  Juan walked over to me as I trudged through the night. “Buddy’s hanging back in the bushes and watching our tail—doing this mostly for your sake and the professor’s sake. And as far as he’s concerned, nobody’s tailing us.”

  “I feel safer already.”

  “You’ve got an attitude, Andy. What’s with you, anyway? You afraid of being disappointed? I mean, I understand, this might be a major let-down. Perhaps you think it would be better not to uncover whatever is buried out there and let the mystery live on?”

  “Actually, Juan, I’m more afraid of who’s hiding in the bushes out there than any fear of being let down.” I didn’t want to tell him I was already let down by Janice’s growing crush on Dial, who was leading the way.

  “No, Andy, the way we figure it is that all your life, or most of it, you’ve wanted to meet a vampire; and now, as we’re about to unbury it, you begin to sabotage the trip—”

  “But I have good—”

  “Too late, Andy. We heard you out and now we’re a day behind. Now we do what the majority decides. Anyway, we’ve concluded you’re probably not ready to face this vampire.”

  Of all the idiotic...how could he possibly...I didn’t think I had any heart left to be broken...

  “Not?” I managed.

  “Yes, Andy. And rumors are even stirring that you perhaps may not be fit to lead our club.”

  I stiffened. I looked ahead where Dial was walking with Janice, gesturing and chuckling in the gloom. I wondered who started those rumors.

  “Juan, I’m going to say only one thing: you have all let me down in your haste and irresponsibility. If we uncover this vampire tonight in that grave, I will step down as leader; and if not, you must eat my shorts with horseradish sauce.”

  Reluctantly, he said, “Done.”

  He hurried away and caught up with Dial and Janice. I was not surprised to hear the slow crunching of feet as Professor L caught up to me.

  “Is there anything we can do to stop this?” I asked.

  “The machine is moving, what’s going to happen will happen. It’s beyond stopping. They are literally driven by this desire to find the vampire.”

  “Do you think we will?”

  “What do you think, my protégé?”

  “There’s no way. It’s what we discussed earlier: why leave the vampire out here in the cold and darkness, when they could keep a watch on him in comfort? It doesn’t make sense.”

  The professor looked ahead, sucking air deeply across his thin lips. The moon above was in its placid half-state, but I could still see the professor and the others easily enough. He said, “You are assuming, of course, that we are dealing with the legendary VVV. If the VVV did not interfere, the vampire would be nice and safe in the cemetery.”

  “Not quite, Professor. If it weren’t for the VVV, he wouldn’t have been killed in the first place. Remember, he was hunted by one of your relatives, whom we assume was associated with the VVV.”

  “Correct!”

  “And not only have we been dealing with these legendary assholes, we’ve been living with them. Earlier, you discussed your sixth sense.”

  “Yes,” said the Professor. “Still an intriguing concept.”

  “Well, my sixth sense has been ringing warning bells like crazy. We have been followed and watched and checked upon for the last day and a half. These guys are professionals. They no doubt have a few hanging back, making sure we find our way, and the rest are waiting in the cemetery—lambs to the slaughter!”

  The night was chilly and it seemed as if my words hung frozen in the night air. The satchel at my side was getting heavy and my fingers, though garbed in cow flesh, were getting stiff.

  “I do not think we need to debate the VVV between ourselves,” said the professor. “I think it’s quite obvious what we’re up against.”
/>   “Yeah, tell that to them.”

  “It’s like I said, they’re beyond reason. All we can do now is try to keep them out of trouble.”

  Looking ahead, seeing Janice ogling Dial and Juan smugly walking before them and somewhere—God knows where—Buddy was crouched in the bushes as if he had any idea how to spot professional trackers, made me wonder if they were worth the trouble.

  But that thought quickly passed, for they were still my family. No others like them existed in the world. They were vampire lovers defined and, I reminded myself, they were doing this for the love of vampires.

  I would do anything for them.

  This was the Vampire Club.

  Chapter Twenty-one

  Vampires are best hunted under the full moon, but that was another thing that was wrong. The night was without light, though there was a smudge of yellow rising on the horizon.

  So that meant I didn’t see that pothole in the road that everyone else had somehow managed to avoid. I nearly broke my ankle.

  Professor L helped me up. “Tonight, my student, the night will be our ally.”

  I cursed and mumbled something about it being our damned enemy now.

  “No, Andy, tonight you and I will find safety in the darkness.”

  He stepped ahead of me and was whistling quietly to himself. A very content old man, almost jubilant, as if he’d been waiting for the chance to ditch the hallowed halls of academia for a little old-fashioned adventure.

  We were walking into a trap, yet the professor had something up his sleeve. Until the proper time came, I would know nothing of his plans—just like in his classes. He’d bring up some marvelous fact, and we would beg him to expound upon it, but he would only answer: “When the time is right, my students, all shall be revealed.”

  Well, right then I wanted to know what the hell he was talking about. Darkness will be our ally? What the hell was he up to? All I could do was trust the old man.

  My instinct was to turn and flee, saving myself, but not only was loyalty a pain in the ass, I wanted to see what the hell was in the unmarked grave. Who knows, I could have been wrong. Maybe Dial and the others weren’t vampire hunters. Maybe they were kin. Either way, it was one family I didn’t want to mess with.

  Unless they wanted to keep me from finally laying eyes on a real vampire.

  Right or wrong, I wanted to see who in the hell was six feet deep under the tombstone bearing the name “Devil Child.”

  I would soon know, for off to my left, the trees receded and I could barely make out the faint outline of a wrought-iron fence, and beyond that was the place where spooks and haunts abounded: the graveyard.

  And maybe, just maybe, my first vampire, too.

  Chapter Twenty-two

  There was no doubting this place was old, and the iron gate hung from a single hinge before us like a drunken bum catching a railroad car.

  Now, as we gathered around the entrance, Buddy finally emerged from the woods. “As far as I know,” he whispered into my ear, for Dial was close by, “we haven’t been followed.”

  Maybe if Dial and Janice weren’t flirting like a couple of grade-schoolers, Dial might’ve noticed Buddy had been away, but the newest club member didn’t say a word, which was good because I wasn’t in the mood for making up a story to cover Buddy’s absence.

  “So let’s do it,” said Buddy, jovially and loudly, feeling positive we were alone.

  We all gathered at the decrepit fence. “Well, here we are,” said Janice. “From Andy’s discovery in the Inquireth to now, standing at the vampire’s burial site. We’ve come a long way—too long to back out now.”

  Why everyone felt the need to glance at me, I don’t know, for I was no longer in charge of this expedition and no longer had the strength or desire to sway their impatient and foolish minds. They have now sown their own seeds and they could choke on the weeds, for all I cared.

  “All right, guys. Let’s do it. We don’t have all night.” And with that, Juan tromped through the hanging gate and into the graveyard.

  “I can feel it,” said Janice excitedly. “We are going to find him tonight.”

  “Tonight will be a night to remember, indeed,” said Dial, draping his python-like arm around her narrow shoulders. I snaked out my own wormy hand and steadied myself on the iron fence. As the two of them entered the graveyard, she never once took her eyes from his, and I could only grip the iron bar tighter.

  “Easy, old boy,” said the professor, draping his own feeble arm about my shoulders. “She thinks you’ve let her down—”

  “I only—”

  “I know, I know. He is a fraud. His spark is not generated out of love of vampires. His spark has a different origin. I can feel the difference, and I believe he lives a life of hate.”

  “And what is it he hates?” I asked, letting my hand slip from the cold iron bar.

  The professor’s voice was soft and ominous, as if the words he spoke were blasphemous: “Vampires, of course. He lives to destroy vampires. But there’s more. He’s living a lie.”

  I watched my Janice disappear into the darkness with Dial Toen. “Can’t she see it?”

  “She sees nothing, Andy, except the vision of the vampire and her new hero leading her to it. Vampire lust at its finest.”

  “What are we going to do? I know those bastards are out there watching us.”

  “Rest tight, Andy. We’ll survive this yet.”

  I looked at my mentor, then out into the darkness, trying to catch a glimpse of the many beady, stalking eyes I was sure were watching us at that very moment.

  Then a shout came from the grave: “Come on, Andy! Juan found the grave!”

  The professor smiled and he held what remained of the gate open for me. Damned if I didn’t feel a glimmer of excitement. Like I said, maybe I was wrong....

  Chapter Twenty-three

  The tombstone shining in our multiple flashlights didn’t waste words: “Devil Child—God rest his soul.”

  “This is one soul that hasn’t gone to the other side,” Buddy said, clapping his hands and letting the sound echo in the dark forest.

  “You said it,” Dial said. “He may be listening to us at this very moment, wondering why we’re babbling and not digging.”

  “So true, Dial, so true.” And that’s when I noticed Janice’s and Dial’s fingers interlocked. Son of a bitch! A most deadly indication that Dial Toen had indeed stomped on my territory.

  But what could I do? I was the tag-along here, the extra-baggage to be put up with, and as far as Janice was concerned, I had tried to spoil this expedition. While Dial, brawny, cocky Dial, now appeared to be taking command—of both the club and her affections.

  I wondered if she actually questioned my beliefs. The whole day, she’d met my gaze with only a cold stare.

  Was Dial perhaps planting false ideas in her pretty little head? I sure as heck wouldn’t doubt it. Divide and conquer. Now was that in The Art of War or Debbie Does Disneyland? I wasn’t sure, though I was more versed in the latter than the former.

  “All right guys,” said Juan. “We found our vampire. I suggest we dig in shifts, for six feet of dirt is not three feet of dirt and will take some time to displace.”

  “Sounds good to me,” said Buddy, grinding his shovel into the sparse grass. “I’ll take the first shift.”

  “I, too,” said Juan, just before Janice volunteered. She pouted, her full lips looking like a ripe strawberry. That thought was almost too much to bear. I turned to the professor. “We’ll take the next shift.”

  “And we the third,” said Dial, and Janice pouted doubly, her lips ripening further, though she didn’t protest Dial’s pairing, only the sequence.

  “We’re third?” she whined.

  Dial placed a long, thick, sickly finger on her precious lips, and as they walked away I heard him tell her: “Relax, gorgeous, by the time our turn rolls around, they’ll have...dug...it...and that gives us time....” And I didn’t catch the last part
, but I could figure out what came next.

  Within my gloom, I sensed happiness next to me. I looked, and the professor was smiling. “How can you be grinning like a fool at a time like this?” I asked.

  “Dial will get his turn,” said the professor. “And we’ll make damned sure he does.”

  I took a seat in the wet grass and leaned my weary back against a tombstone. “You mind telling me how we’re going to get out of this mess? Because, I swear to God, I feel like a hundred eyes are watching us.”

  “Oh, they’re out there. There shouldn’t be any doubt about that.”

  “Then, Christ! Why are we here?”

  “Keep it down, Andy. We’re doing what they expect us to do. They think they’ve got us. I suspect they’re in cahoots with the local authorities and merely plan to have us all arrested and sent away, since they haven’t attempted any other drastic measures of stopping us when they had the chance. I assume they are taking the more practical and less suspicious route of getting us out of their hair, which is arrest and prosecution and shame.”

  I listened to the crunch of shovels in the moist earth and found it both pleasing and relaxing. I surprised myself with a yawn.

  “It’s okay. Rest now,” said the professor. “For I suspect we shall be on the run for most of the night.”

  “Come again, professor?”

  “Do you think I actually plan on getting caught by these goons?”

  “Actually, I had no idea what you were planning.”

  The professor looked away where about five graves down Buddy and Juan were now ankle deep in cemetery dirt.

  “They’re making good time,” he commented.

  “They have the ultimate motivation.” I wondered what we would ultimately find. I laughed quietly when I noticed their eyes gleaming brightly in the moonlight. They were good men, devoted to their cause as wholly and fully as to the most demanding of religions, and I was part of this sect, yet, at the moment, did not share in their determination. Though they doubted me now, it was merely a minor set-back in our relationship. I could not stand to see either of them hurt.