Bound by Ravage

by Ryan Michele

“No. I can’t. I have my life here. I’ll come to the services, but I’m not doing lockdown.” I will hold my ground on this one. I mean nothing to any of them except Harlow. I will not subject myself to a lockdown or to be in a confined space with all of them.

  “You don’t have a fucking choice. Buzz is on his way up there now to help you with your shit and follow you back since I know you won’t leave your car. Start packing and plan on staying for a while.”

  “No. I’m not coming Harlow. Like I said, I’ll be there for Diamond, but I will not do a lockdown.” I argue.

  Harlow screams in the phone, forcing me to pull the phone away from my ear. “Fuck you! Yes, you will! You’re part of this fucking family and so help me God if I have to leave here right now to come and drag your ass here, I fucking will. My head’s in a lot of different places right now Casey and I will not be worrying about your fucking ass! Pack and be ready when Buzz gets there!”

  While Harlow definitely has a temper, she’s never really gone off on me like this before. And even though I’m still pissed at her, the desperation in her voice has me tap down my hurt and all the swirling emotions plaguing me. She is scared shitless and has no control over anything. This is her way of getting some control, even if it is bossing me around. I know what I have to do even if I don’t want to.

  “I’ve gotta talk to my professors. I’ll try for two weeks, after that I can’t promise anything.”

  “Thank you.” She blew out an exasperated breath into the phone. “I’m sorry.” She whispers. I’m not sure if it’s about her blow up or not calling about G.T., but I’m not ready to forgive yet.

  “I know, but you should have called me as soon as it happened.” I’m not stupid and know I have no claim to G.T., but Harlow knows better. I decide to change the subject. “Pops move up?”

  “Yeah.”

  “G.T.?”

  “Nothing’s official there yet.” She knew exactly what I was asking. I want to know if G.T. moved to VP. When Bam was alive, he used to tell me that one day Pops and G.T. would run Ravage. He’d always say ‘that’ll be the day.’ I never understood those words. That is, until today.

  “I’ll need a day or so to get everything together.”

  “Buzz should be there in about thirty minutes.” I sigh in defeat.

  “Okay… I love you Low.”

  Surprisingly, sniffles come from the other end of the line, “Love you too. Get home.”

  “I’ll be there soon.” With that, we end the call.

  Turning, Bella is at my side. “What was that?”

  I pull the chairs up to the table, since they seemed to have moved across the room, motioning for her to come and sit. I explain what is going on and the tears leak from my eyes.

  “So you’re leaving?” She asks reaching out and squeezing my hand, the lone reassurance helpful.

  “For a while.”

  “What the hell is a lockdown?” She asks quirking her eye. I haven’t really given her the Biker 101 yet.

  “Exactly that. All the brothers and their families go to the clubhouse and that is where they stay for however long the President says. Normally it’s ‘till everything is safe.”

  “Can you leave at all?”

  “Sure. When a brother or a Prospect is with you. You just can’t go alone.” Bella may or may not know that she is providing a wonderful distraction from all the grief I feel in my heart by asking all these questions.

  “So let me get this right… You get to be locked up indefinitely with all of those hunks of hotness?”

  “Pretty much.” I shrug. “Not that any of that matters.” I look down sheepishly.

  “Can I come? Seriously, those pictures on your phone… damn girl.” If I were in a better mood, I’d probably laugh at that, but I’m not so I didn’t.

  “No.”

  “Are you going to be okay?”

  “No.” I answer honestly. I will have to tell them about Mia and I’m scared to death. This is much sooner than I ever thought, but I will not be able to hold myself together the whole time I’m there. I’m barely doing it here.

  “Why you? Your dad’s gone. How does that work?”

  “I’m the daughter of a very well respected brother. Harlow says I’m considered family. They protect their family.”

  “Damn. What happens on lockdown?”

  “Well, aren’t you a vat of questions.” I grumble.

  “Girl, we haven’t really talked in weeks and if this gets you to talk, I’ll ask everything I can possibly think of.”

  I give her a short smile. “I’ll answer, but I’ve gotta get packed and call my professors. Considering I’ve already missed so much, I have no clue how that will go. Oh… Buzz is on his way here. You’ll be foaming at the mouth for him.”

  I explain to her about lockdowns and procedures, which are pretty cut and dry.

  “Tell me more about Harlow.” She questions as I throw my stuff in bags. I’d already called my professors who stated that as long as I kept up to date on the work, I’d be fine. They even offered to let me watch the lectures through Skype, which I thought was pretty cool. There is no need for me to call my boss. After I had lost Mia, I stopped going and quit without telling him. I’m sure my boss is pissed. I just don’t care.

  “Harlow. Let’s see. She goes by Princess in the club.”

  “Yeah, you said that. Why?”

  “She’s always been the club Princess, the Vice President’s daughter and all. She’s been called that since she was young, but what really earned her the title of Princess is she’s the furthest thing from it.” I keep packing as I talk and Bella sits on the bed listening. “She’s a badass bitch and thank God she’s my friend, if not I’d be scared shitless of her.”

  “Why?” She asks grabbing the shirt I just placed on the bed and folds it for me.

  “She’s a fighter. And I’m not talking those girly fights where hair gets pulled and women scream. Oh no. Harlow can fight. As in she gets in the boxing ring with the brothers and goes blow for blow with them. It’s actually how she became an ol’ lady. Fought her man. It was a tie.”

  “She actually fought her man?”

  Grabbing my phone, I pull up a picture of Harlow with Cruz and Cooper. My heart gives a small ache, but I push it away. I hold it up to Bella, “this is Harlow and her ol’ man. The one she fought.”

  “Holy fucking shit! Are you kidding me? No way.” Her head shakes in disbelief.

  “Yeah. Seriously.”

  “She’s not that big and well… He’s a monster. And a hot one to boot!”

  “Yeah. But believe it. She’s something else.”

  A very loud banging comes from the front door shaking the walls. “Damn Buzz.” I say moving to the door, Bella hot on my heels.

  “What? You didn’t think I’d miss this did you?” Rolling my eyes we head to the door, just about reaching it when the pounding commences for the second time.

  Looking in the peep hole, a very handsome Buzz stands before me looking either very agitated or angry, I can’t tell which.

  Before I open the door, Bella grabs my arm and I turn to her. “You gonna be okay?” she asks.

  “I don’t know. It won’t be easy, but I don’t have much choice.” I give her a small smile and turn to the door.

  “You can do this.” She reassures me. I reach down and grab her hand, squeezing it.

  I turn and swing the door open, “Damn. You knocked shit off my walls.” I bark.

  He doesn’t answer instead he wraps his arms around me tight and begins to squeeze the living shit out of me, burying my face in his chest to the point where I cannot breathe. “Miss me, Buzz?” I mumble.

  “Glad you’re comin’ home.” His deep raspy voice reminds me of a hot bedroom voice right after sex. As I pull away, I stare up into his sky blue eyes, eyes that definitely hypnotize the female race. His blonde hair has grown since the last time I saw him, but it wasn’t the only thing. He must have been working out as his body is more def
ined with his white t-shirt stretching over his broad shoulders and his arms bulging out of the sleeves, tattoos lining his arms. With his leather rag and jeans, he looks good enough to eat.

  He pulls away and eyes me up and down. “What’s wrong with you? Are you not eating?” He questions and my heart sinks at the realization that it will be known right off the bat that something is wrong. Shit.

  “Haven’t been feeling well, but I’m getting better. Where you been? Harlow said you’d be here in a half hour.” I move away from the door hoping he doesn’t press with my change in subject.

  “Had shit to do.” Is his only response, his eyes land on Bella behind me. His breath catches making me chuckle for the first time in a long time. I knew the guys wouldn’t last long around her.

  “Buzz this is my friend Bella. Bella, Buzz.” My hand waves back and forth to each of them.

  “Holy Shit.” Bella grumbles under her breath. “Hi.” Her hand motions a small wave.

  “And there are two of them.” Her eyes widen and her lips part ever so slightly. I grab my phone and pull up a picture of the two of them showing it to her. “Yep, his twin Breaker’s a brother too.”

  “God help me.” She whispers shaking her head clutching the phone.

  “I’m sure we could show you a hell of a good time beautiful lady.” Bella’s knees begin to wobble. I lean over and grab her arm not wanting her to pass out on the floor.

  “I’m sure you could.” She turns to me. “Take me with you.”

  “No. You have class. And you have to get me notes.” Bella huffs, coming out of her Buzz induced haze. “Buzz, don’t we need to go?” I ask his eyes locked on Bella.

  “Yeah. We gotta roll. Too much shit going down.” His confidence in his words comes through loud and clear.

  “How’s everyone doing?” I question hesitantly.

  “It’s a mess, Casey. A fucking mess. Get your shit and let’s go.” I nod pulling a practically frozen Bella with me in the bedroom, her eyes not leaving Buzz once.

  “Oh my God, Casey… I never… God.” I throw the last of my things inside my bags.

  “I know. It’s hard to take sometimes.”

  She sat there for a while, not saying anything as I ramble on about how Buzz is a Prospect and not a brother yet. How he has to earn his spot as a brother and some of what that entails.

  “Why don’t you have a nickname?”

  “Huh?” I ask tossing the last of my toiletries in the bag.

  “Princess, Cruz, Buzz, Bam, and G.T. and then there’s you… Casey. Doesn’t seem right.”

  Bella didn’t know that this fact in my life hurt a bit. It’s as if I have been pushed aside, no one having the time to come up with my name. My real name is Cassandra and Casey is short for that. But in the club, everyone has a club name. Princess got hers before she could walk. And me? Nothing. Another reason why I don’t feel like part of their family, but rather an outsider.

  “Don’t know. Never asked. Can you help me carry this shit?” I do not have time to open that can of worms.

  “Yeah. Are you sure you’re gonna be okay?” Her hand reaches out to my arm holding me softly.

  I let out a deep breath. “No. I don’t know, but I’ll find out soon.” I give her a small smile.

  After a teary goodbye and one last sweep through the apartment, I lock up the door, Buzz on my heels.

  “Casey, wait!” Jace’s voice booms from the hallway. Buzz stiffens beside me.

  “It’s fine, Buzz. No worries.” I reassure him, but he doesn’t relax.

  “Where are you going?” Concern laces his voice.

  “I’ve gotta go home for a while. There was a death at the club.”

  “Oh my God, Casey. I’m so sorry.” Jace reaches out pulling me into a hug which I reciprocate.

  “Get off her.” Buzz growls and Jace’s body tenses. I let go and turn to Buzz.

  “Buzz, stop it. Jace is my friend.” I try to reassure, but the tension radiates off of Buzz.

  “Don’t like it and don’t care.” I roll my eyes turning back to Jace, who has let go of me and is now standing in front of me.

  “You gonna be okay?” He asks, his eyes darting from me to Buzz.

  “We shall see.” I give him a soft smile. “I have to go. Bella has keys to my place.”

  “Call me if you need anything.”

  “I will.” I turn leaving the building.

  Buzz follows very close behind my car as we weave down the road.

  During the drive, I do not have Bella to distract me, so I let the bottled up tears fall for Diamond and Mia. I am smart enough to have thrown a box of tissues in the front seat, guess subconsciously I knew I’d need them. Then my thoughts drift to G.T., I can’t wait to see him, hug him and make sure he’s alright. But I’m also terrified to see him. I’m terrified that when I tell him about Mia, he’ll be relieved and I can’t handle that. If I thought his words cut deep, his relief would break me, shatter me.

  Pulling up to the steel doors of the clubhouse, a man I’d never seen is manning the controls. Looking in my rearview, Buzz gives the man a head nod and the doors slowly open. Everything looks exactly the same as it did three months ago. Cars and bikes line both sides of the long driveway. Tables and chairs grace the courtyard. Men and women mingle throughout. As I park my baby, I glance over at the shop and part of me itches to go there, a feeling I haven’t had in weeks. But I need to find Harlow first.

  I look in my rearview mirror and cringe at my eyes. I rub them trying to give some resemblance that I’m alright. I blow out a deep breath, not getting very far with that and grab my lip gloss and apply it quickly to my lips giving a smack. Ready as I’ll ever be.

  “Open the trunk and we’ll take it all in. Princess has you set up in a room downstairs.” Buzz says and calls over another man I’d never seen before wearing a Prospect rag.

  “Well hello there.” The guy eye-fucks me up and down. His long shaggy hair hangs down low, reminding me of the hair trim we gave Rocky all those months ago. This guy’s hair looks like it could use a good wash along with the wayward beard that hangs haphazardly down his face. It needs a really good trim too. His chocolate brown eyes sparkle as his smile widens.

  “Hi.”

  “Who are you and where have you been all my life?”

  Fucking seriously? But before words escape my mouth Buzz cuts in, “Skeezer, enough. Off limits.” His bark is controlled yet demanding.

  “Fuck. Whose is she?” He groans as if it pains him deeply.

  Cutting in, “She… is standing right here and is nobody’s. Sorry buddy, I don’t fuck brothers. I’m a waste of time.” Turning to Buzz, “Thank you.” I move away quickly and head directly for the clubhouse.

  My stomach clenches. This is it. I straighten my back and hold my head up high. I can do this.

  I need to find Harlow. It seems like forever since she hugged me in Cruz’s room and told me goodbye. That night was unbelievably crazy and I learned some things about myself that I didn’t know existed. When Princess suggested we lock Rocky in a room and shave him, I thought she was fucking nuts. I mean shit; did she want to be ostracized from the club?

  But after Harlow told me how Rocky used to make her screw him, regularly, to get the tools and information to take care of the bitches the club needed taken out, my opinion of the situation changed dramatically. Fuck him. We had to find out for sure if this ass was the officer from prison. If we were wrong, we’d suffer the consequences. Thinking back, shivers flow up my body.

  As we had Rocky tied and gagged in the chair, Harlow shaved his hair off revealing it was truly the officer from prison. It was like Harlow turned into someone else and I did too. Almost like we were on autopilot, giving this man every bit of pain we could come up with. The gruesome scene was a necessary evil. Broomsticks, tasers, dildos and other random objects lay scattered on the floor next to a very out of it man who was bleeding and covered with hair cut from his head. It helped Harlow get over what happ
ened to her, and I’d do it all over again. Just for her.

  I need Harlow to wrap her arms around me right now. Even if she doesn’t know why, I need her comfort more than anything.

  Opening up the door to the clubhouse, a small bit of fear rushes through me at the thought of seeing G.T. again after all this time. Can I handle seeing him with his women? How will he react to Mia? I need to get my shit together. I can do this. He is safe and not my responsibility.

  “Holy Shit! Look who the cat dragged in!” Dagger’s voice bellows as he walks up, quickly sweeping me in his arms, my arms wrapping around his neck. His tight hug continues and I am grateful he is keeping his hands away from my ass. Dagger loves the ladies and makes no qualms about it. His long blond hair is braided neatly, falling down his back with his signature red, white and blue bandana covering the top of his head. His arms are incredibly strong as he picks me up as if I weigh nothing. The smell of smokes and booze radiates off of him.

  “Hey Dagger. Good to see ya.” I squeeze back as he sets me down on the floor looking me up and down.

  “Damn girl.” He says licking his lips and raising his eyebrows.

  “Stop it, Dagger.” I flirt in the sweetest voice I can muster and give him a soft smile. Two can play at this game.

  “Get over here!” Becs calls from the end of the walkway.

  Leaving Dagger, I fall into Becs’ warm arms hugging him as tight as I can, trying to hold back the tears that want to fall from my eyes. Whenever I’m around Becs, I feel very close to Bam. They were best friends and I was always drawn to Becs because of that. They had so many similar characteristics, even the way they both held their coffee cup with their pinky wrapping around the bottom of the cup. Little things that I’m sure no one else noticed, but I did. I love seeing those things, but it hurt at the same time.

  “Hey Becs.” I whisper in his ear as he pulls me back looking at me.

  “College girl, huh? I’m so proud of you.” I close my eyes and smile, he didn’t know but I felt as if my dad said those words to me right along with him.

  “Yeah. It’s going okay. Tough at times.” But really not because of school.

  “Anybody bothering you up there?” Becs eyes turn menacing in a flash and I want to immediately wipe the look away.