by Ryan Michele
“Woman, back off so I can get me some,” Pops, my grandfather, says, coming up behind her. He puts his arms around me, giving me a slap on the back, then giving Rylie a hug.
It’s another reminder of the things I missed. Time that I can’t get back, but will do my damnedest to make up now.
“Deacon,” my mother calls from the recliner in the living room.
Her beautiful hair now gone, she has a scarf around her head. Her second round of chemo is fully done, and the doctors are optimistic. She’s had some tests done, so we’re waiting on the results, every one of us thinking positive. That’s all we can do right now.
I kneel at her side and kiss her hand. “Hey. How ya feelin’?”
She gives me a soft squeeze. “Same, baby boy.”
“Ma, do I look like a baby?”
Her smile comes. I love seeing it on her. “Doesn’t matter your age, you’ll always be my baby boy.”
“It’ll never fuckin’ change,” Cooper says, slapping my back with a smile on his face, his woman, Bristyl, holding his hand. “They’ll never stop. It’s not even worth wasting your breath.”
“That’s right,” my mother agrees on a smile.
“Alright, let’s get this done so I can get back home to my girl,” Cruz announces.
I take a seat on the floor, pressing my back against Mom’s chair and pulling Rylie down between my legs. She rests her back against my front perfectly, like she’s made to be there. Then she rests her hands on mine that are pressed against her waist.
It’s strange how familiar this feels after being gone for so long. It’s like I wasn’t gone a day, and things are back to the way they were supposed to be. How we can go back to this so quickly, I don’t know. Maybe it has to do with what we saw with Austyn, or how I took everyone’s backs. I don’t know, but this feeling of belonging is like nothing I’ve ever felt. With my woman and family, not sure what could get better. Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s going to last long. I have this feeling, with the way that Cruz’s gaze cuts through everyone, there is going to be pain.
“Bottom line is, Austyn is shut up tight.” Cruz stops, taking in a breath and wrapping his arm around Princess, pulling her tight against his side. “Deke, is there anything you can give us? Why you brought her home? Why she came to you?”
My chest feels tight, weighted, heavy. Damn, this is not a place I want to be. This is a lose-lose situation, smacking me hard in the face. I tell them, I break Austyn’s confidence. I don’t, I could lose theirs. Worse, this is all my fault. JK said he’d hurt her. He told me flat-out, and I still came home, making a wrong choice again.
“Because of me.” The words are soft, but Rylie hears them. Her body stills in my arms.
“She doesn’t blame you, Deke. We’ve asked,” Cruz starts, obviously hearing me.
“Doesn’t mean it’s not my fault. I came back here, and JK did what he said he’d do. Shot up my woman’s house and hurt Austyn. It’s on me.” The guilt weighs me down like a lead balloon. “We need to find him and make him pay.”
“Baby,” Rylie starts, but I move to get up, needing to walk out some of this energy.
I hoped the demons were gone, but finding out this was more than likely my fault isn’t what I want to hear. The urge to get into the ring and pound some flesh hits hard.
Inside, fury takes over. I try to push it away, wondering if I would’ve stayed away if she wouldn’t have been hurt.
Everything crashes around me, and I feel my knees begin to give. Reaching out, I grip the wall to hold myself up, the weight settling on me hard.
“Son,” my father calls out, walking over to me.
We haven’t had a sit down or man to man since everything came out. Not gonna lie, I haven’t wanted to start it all up again. Wanted to move past it. However, it’s now time to hash it out, which isn’t a good thing. My emotions are too high. I’ve been doing a damn good job keeping my head on straight when he’s around. Now, I’m not sure I can dig deep enough for that level.
“Don’t weigh this shit on your shoulders. It’s on mine.”
I stand there in stunned silence as my father takes accountability for what happened all those years ago, something I never thought would happen in my wildest dreams. It kills me knowing everything we lost. Knowing that he pushed me away and let that eat at me for so many years.
“Shoulda listened; that’s on me. Gotta carry that around for the rest of my life. Knowin’ I’m the one who didn’t listen when you were tryin’ to do good. This shit is a result of my fuck up. One that I’ll be tellin’ Austyn I’m sorry for, for the rest of my life. You don’t get that. You don’t get that guilt. That’s on me, and I’m takin’ it.”
My mother sobs in her chair, and I see Rylie move over to hold her hand in comfort. I thank God I have such a great woman.
“Dad.” The word feels foreign because I haven’t used it in so long, at least not in the way I am now, with sincerity. I feel the clog in my throat, but push it down.
“Never hated you, Deke. Just saw so much in you and knew you had so much inside that you weren’t living up to. I fucked that shit up and didn’t do right. I take that. It’s my burden to bear. All these years, I wondered what I could’ve done different, and there they were, smacking me in the face every damn second.”
He clears his throat before continuing, “When you were born, your mom and I were so damn scared we were going to lose you, and I had all these ideas of what you’d be. You were on the right path for so long, and somewhere I fucked up and let you go down the wrong one. Know that now, and know I put it all on you. Not fair. I’ve made mistakes. I own them. Just hope you and I can heal. Son, I’m sorry.”
When he clasps his hand on my shoulder, it takes everything in me to keep myself together. Never thought this day would come.
“Pissed you had to stay home because of your mom bein’ sick, but happy for it nonetheless.” He pulls me to him, and I crash into his chest willingly, wrapping my arms around him.
Years. For fucking years, this feeling inside of me rode me hard. Then, in one moment, with only a few words, that part of me settles. Fuck.
“Right. I need to get back to Austyn,” Cruz says. “She’s dealin’ with all this shit. Won’t talk to us. But she’s strong, and we’ll figure this shit out. She doesn’t want to see Ryker, and that little shit won’t leave my porch. Can one of you make sure the man eats at some point?”
My father and I break apart, giving our attention back to Cruz.
“Yeah, Dad,” Nox says.
“Well, I’m making food,” Ma proclaims, moving into the kitchen. “We need to eat, and I’m good at this. Food always helps.” Ma takes off, concern all over her face, as Cruz and Princess make their exit.
Everyone is feeling Austyn’s pain and adjusting in their own way. Hate it, but we deal.
“Is there anything I can get ya?” Rylie asks my mother.
“Water, please.”
“Of course.” She moves in the same direction as Ma.
“Time has come, boys, to put this shit between the two of you in the past. You’ve got good women, good heads on your shoulders, and need to work through this. It’s time. It’s been too fuckin’ long. Now, I need a beer,” Pops says, leaving my father, mother, and me in the living room.
“We both fucked up. Me worse because I shoulda listened to you, instead of bein’ a dick. Now we move past it and get on with our lives.”
“Just like that?”
“Yeah, boy, just like that.”
And that’s what we do. Move the fuck on. It’s something I’ll never forget, but he’s said his peace, admitted he was wrong, which is tough for a man like GT. Now we pick up and start to rebuild. It’ll take time, but eventually, it’ll happen.
“We’re gonna need to have a garage sale,” Rylie says from the living room of my apartment. “I think we should just buy a house together.”
“Fine by me.”
“What?” she gasps.
“Don’t like it here, but needed a roof over my head. You want a house, let’s get a house. I’m good with that. Pick what you want, I’ll buy it.”
“We’ll buy it.”
I pull her to my body, and she brings her hands to my chest, clenching my shirt. “I have a dick.”
“We’ve established this on more than one occasion.”
My lips tip up. “Right. So, dick, I pay. You want shit inside the place, go for it. I pay for the house and utilities. It’s not up for debate.”
“Deke, I make damn good money. I want to contribute.”
Brewer jumps up, giving a small grunt in agreement to Rylie.
No.
“Get that. So, you buy the shit you want for the house. That’s the deal.”
She glares at me in that sexy way that makes my dick hard as a rock. “So, what, this is gonna be your excuse every time you want something? You have a dick?”
“Damn right.”
“You are a dick.”
I crush my mouth to hers, intent on showing her how much she likes my dick. Her moans and mewls are the sexiest sounds I’ve ever heard. Well, that and her screaming my name while my dick’s planted inside her.
Walking her over to the table, I spin her around and press her body down on the table.
“What are you doing?”
I grip her wrists and clutch them behind her back. “Fuckin’ my woman. Showin’ her exactly how much she wants my cock.”
The dog barks, then whines. I pin him with a look, and he takes off to the other room. He’s a damn good dog.
Reaching around, I unbutton her jeans and pull them down to her knees, along with her underwear. Her wet heat glistens in the light as I pull out my cock, rubbing it through her wetness, hearing her moan yet again.
Lining up, I thrust my cock inside her. Her pussy feels like a tight vise, gripping me, sucking me into her more and more. She tries to wiggle her hands out of my grasp, but I hold on tighter, using the leverage to thrust harder. The table moves beneath us, but I don’t give a fuck if it slides totally across the floor.
“Deke!” she screams as her walls close in, pulling the orgasm from my body.
Fuck, this woman undoes me.
24
Rylie
Schade’s club is thumping tonight, everyone pumped for the “big fight.” Schade’s made a huge production of this one because it’s a high-level fighter, meaning he’s only lost three fights in his career. Money is high, and the energy is higher.
After the three beginning fights, the crowd is roaring, stomping their feet in the dirt and pushing people to get closer to the stage.
Once, I loved this—the rush, the hot and sweaty bodies moving in time with the fight. I even loved it when smaller altercations broke out and I put an end to them. Now, after everything that’s been going on and how my life has changed, the need for this isn’t there anymore. The urge to get in there and break people up these last two times has just been a job, and not one I enjoyed.
Strange how priorities change.
Deke is my number one priority now. When it happened, I have no clue. I think it was about the time he got shot. That was when I realized how much I cared about him. Then moving in together and beginning to build this life together, it’s changed my perspective on several things.
Also, Deke hasn’t fought since the last time I brought him here. He hasn’t had that need. In turn, I haven’t had it, either. It’s just vanished. I, of course, do it because I have to, but I’m thinking my time here is coming to an end.
Deke’s torn up about Austyn. There’s nothing I can do about it but be there for him when he wants to talk about it, which isn’t regular by any means. He’s a good man. A great man. I do my best to remind him of that every damn day so he doesn’t let the guilt I know he feels consume him.
Even though a couple of weeks have passed, I still make sure to tell Deke where I am. It gives him peace of mind, and really, it’s no skin off my teeth.
The main fight takes over the room, and people go crazy. I find myself in the throng of another fight. After breaking it up, I notice Jackson across the way, his fists balled up and ready to go at it.
Getting over to him is a crush, but before I can, he’s already thrown a punch at a man, sending him to the ground and knocking down a woman in very high sandals. She screeches, grabbing on to several different people and pulling them with her.
I get over to Jackson, pulling his arm behind his back. “Come on, buddy.”
He fights me, so I bend his wrist back. Only then does he move in the direction I’m pushing him.
I nod at the guys on my team, letting them know I have Jackson and will toss him out on his ass. This is the shit that isn’t holding my attention anymore like it used to. Don’t get me wrong, I can kick ass, but I’d rather be at my man’s apartment.
Definitely going to rethink my job here. X is fine, but this one is going to have to go.
“Jackson, what have you done now?” I ask, pushing him through the hallway where the noise isn’t nearly as loud yet still echoes off the walls.
He gives a little pull. “That asshole tried to punch me. He needed to be taught a lesson,” he growls.
I smile. “And you’re just the badass motherfucker to do it, huh?”
Opening the door, I push him out of it. He gives a stumble and falls to his knees. Geeze.
I move out to help him up. “You gotta stop doin’ this shit, Jackson. You’re gonna end up in that ring with someone who’ll take your head off.”
We stand in the back alley, the night calm, except for Jackson’s angry growls as he moves away from me.
A car screeches through the alley, headlights right on Jackson. I push him out of the way just at the car swerves, hitting me hard in the hip. Fire radiates through my thigh and down my leg as I fly through the air and land on the dirt and rock covered ground. I try to save my head from hitting the ground, but it hits anyway.
Colors burst behind my eyelids as a searing pain starts right at my temple and moves to the middle of my skull, hard and intense.
The car slams to a halt. Then a door opens before I hear footsteps.
Pulling my shit together, I reach behind my back for my gun and open my eyes to see a blur. The gun is kicked from my hands.
Moving as quickly as my body will allow, which isn’t fast, I try to roll away, but something hits me square in the back. I fight. With everything I have, I fight.
A man has me. I can tell by the pressure on me. I kick up, trying to meet his nuts. With my dizzy-ass not getting my bearings yet, I miss, but nail him in the thigh.
“Bitch!” he grunts.
I recognize the voice.
My head booms, but I’m able to get my eyes open enough to confirm.
“Lance?”
What the ever-loving fuck?
Electricity blasts through me, and I see black.
Cool water splashes on my face, waking me up. My limbs feel weak, like I touched a damn live wire. There’s even a vibration through me that isn’t natural.
Lance fucking stun-gunned me. I’m going to kill him.
Coming to my senses, I try to move my hands, but they’re held strongly by something. Opening my eyes, panic flares. My hands are duct taped to a steering wheel, as well as my legs. I look out and see the Sumner lake in front of me; only the moon glistening off the water giving me any light.
“About time you woke up.”
I shift to the window that’s halfway down. “Aunt Beatrice?”
Shocked doesn’t even cut what I feel.
“You dumb bitch. All you had to do was give me money. Why do you think I had your folks killed all those years ago? Money!”
Confusion bombards me as I struggle to put the pieces of this fucked up puzzle together through the haziness in my brain. Then anger, filled with hate, takes over.
“What do you mean? You killed my parents? What are you talking about?”
“Always the fast one. Doesn’
t matter. You die, as your only living relative, I get your shit. Done.”
I tug at the tape, seeing if it has any give, which it doesn’t. “You’ve lost your fucking mind.”
“That’s the great part. I lost it a long time ago.” She actually smiles.
Lance comes into sight. “Can we do this shit so I can get back to the bitch in my bed?” he complains.
“Hang on, boy,” Aunt CB says, thoroughly enjoying me trying to get my hands free.
I pull harder, the tape tearing at my skin. The steering wheel moves just a bit, but it’s not enough.
“Seeing you drown while borrowing my car … such a travesty.” She shakes her head in mock sadness.
“You really think anyone is gonna buy that shit?”
Biding time. That’s what I need to do.
I look at the dash and see the time is eleven thirty-eight. Deke’s been picking me up from Schade’s. He’ll know I’m not there. I just need to bide time.
“Doesn’t matter. You forget Lance here knows a coroner? He’s going to help me.”
My mind scrambles. “He went to school with him, but he doesn’t talk to him now.”
“Shut the fuck up,” Lance growls, throwing his fist across my cheek.
Not going to lie and say it doesn’t burn, but I don’t give him the satisfaction. I feel a twinge of blood run down my lip, but I don’t bother swiping it off.
Asshole.
“Whoever pulls me out is going to see the tape on me. Did you think of that?” These two are a bunch of idiots. No police officer is not going to put that in a report with a dead body. Please.
“That’s the good part. Lance is going to go in and cut them off.”
“The fuck I am,” he challenges. “That wasn’t the deal. I was to get her in the car. Did that. My shit is over. Give me my cash. I’m out.”
I laugh at their stupidity. “You mean to tell me, you’re going to put me in the lake, tied to a car, and he’s going to swim down to me and take the tape off me … in the water.”
Stupid fucking morons, I tell ya. At least I know they don’t know how to hide a damn body.
