Double Blind

by Hannah Alexander

  I n spite of ordering Preston, more than once, not to come here, in spite of knowing his presence could be awkward and in spite of her irritation that he didn’t seem to believe she was capable of taking care of herself, Sheila could not deny her relief at his sudden appearance. But she wasn’t going to let him know.

  He had come all the way to Arizona. For her. He wanted her. A romantic gesture couldn’t get much better than that.

  And yet, when Ryan was alive, he had made huge, romantic gestures in an effort to control her. Unfortunately, it usually worked. She’d come too far, endured too much, to allow another man to repeat that pattern.

  Everything she knew about Preston told her he wasn’t a manipulative man. She had always appreciated his good interpersonal boundaries, in spite of his dysfunctional childhood. He was neither dependent on others to make his life complete, nor interested in forcing anyone to think or do what he wanted. She knew he had undergone some therapy to establish a more emotionally healthy outlook on life, and she appreciated the results.

  And that was why his suddenly showing up shocked her. Of course, just because she had told him not to come didn’t mean he had to comply. There again, she had no right to control him, either.

  She turned to see Tanya carrying a duffel bag and what appeared to be a pillow and blanket from the dorm, while Canaan rushed to help her with it. Blaze hurried along beside him, obviously eager to make new friends, get the lay of the land and plunge into work—indeed, an answer to Canaan’s prayers.

  Prayers that Sheila, herself, would have gotten in the way of, ironically, if Preston had done as she wished. But then, who knew?

  “Mad at me?” Preston asked from close behind her.

  She suppressed the smile that sprang from deep within her. “I told you not to come, and you came anyway, dragging poor Blaze along as an excuse.” And Blaze’s present behavior suggested that Preston might have done some major soul sharing on the drive out, as well.

  “Would you believe me if I told you it was Blaze’s idea?”

  She shook her head, watching Canaan, Blaze and Tanya step into her apartment.

  “It’s true,” Preston said, waving his hand in front of her face to get her full attention. “He wants to do this, Sheila, and it looks as if you and Canaan could use the help.”

  She sighed and looked up into the blue-gray depths of those eyes she admired so much. “Don’t you dare try to convince me that poor, defenseless Preston Black was bullied by mean old Blaze Farmer into escorting him out here. Nobody bullies you.”

  “Blaze doesn’t have a car.”

  “If you were so gung ho for him to come, you could’ve let him use your Jeep. Better yet, you could’ve bought him a new one.”

  Preston walked in silence for two beats. “Okay, I didn’t say he bullied me into coming, I just said it was his suggestion, and one thing led to another, and your phone calls cinched the deal for me.”

  Sheila stopped walking far enough from the closed front door of her apartment so no one inside could overhear. “My phone calls? Now you’re blaming me?”

  “I’m not blaming anyone. I’m simply trying to explain why I was willing to disregard your commands. I’m convinced you’re in danger, and I can’t just shrug off that feeling the way you seem to be doing.”

  “I’m not—”

  “I know.” He touched her arm. “Honestly, Sheila, the last thing I want to do is invade your space the way pip-squeak was doing when we drove—”

  “What?”

  “Sorry, I meant Canaan. You didn’t tell me how well he’d outgrown that silly little name of—”

  “Don’t you dare call him that in his presence. I let that nasty nickname slip one time, and, of course, you would remember it.”

  “Of course. I can’t help myself. He’s the competition.”

  “No, he’s not!” She spread her hands in exasperation and turned to march up the sidewalk. “You’re here, and that’s fine. In fact, it’s more than fine, because we could sure use the help right now, but don’t imagine there is some kind of a love triangle happening here.”

  “Okay, I won’t. I won’t even give you the purple daisies and dark chocolate Blaze told me to bring you.”

  She frowned up at him. “You didn’t.”

  “Relax,” he said. “I knew better. I’m not trying to seduce your emotions by coming here, I’m here because I couldn’t stay away under the circumstances. I’ll play nice, and I’ll do anything Canaan York would like me to do. If he wants to put me to work scrubbing toilets, I’ll do it. I’m not afraid of a little hard—”

  “Don’t be ridiculous. He’s not going to do that. He and I have known each other since we were five years old, and—”

  “Actually, five and a half,” came a voice from the doorway of the apartment. The open doorway, where Canaan stood watching, with very apparent interest. “If I remember correctly, Sheila’s birthday is in late October, so that would make her thirty-four and a half.”

  Sheila cringed. How much had he heard? If he’d caught that pip-squeak comment…

  “Preston,” Canaan said, “Blaze just told me you were a CPA. How did you guys know I’d need someone with your capabilities even more than another doctor? I’ve already reassured Blaze that he’ll have plenty of one-on-one experience with patients, and when we get time, I’ll take him to meet a shepherd I know who would be glad for the help of a prevet student.”

  “Well, that settles it,” Preston said dryly. “Blaze will be here for the summer at this rate. You actually remembered Sheila’s birthday?”

  “Sure. I always got invited to her birthday parties, and she always got teased about being a Halloween baby. I was a Christmas baby.” He rubbed his hands together. “Speaking of Christmas, that’s what today suddenly feels like to me. You didn’t realize what you were getting into, though I’m sure Sheila will warn you about it when she has some time, but first, I’d love to show you all around, get you started doing those things you each do best.”

  “I’m game,” Preston said. “And Blaze has been looking forward to this ever since Sheila left the hospital last week.”

  “Then let’s get started,” Canaan said, his eagerness obviously contagious to the guys.

  Sheila waved a hand at Canaan. “Before you get carried away, you might want to give me some time to catch up on my sleep, since we do have the help we need, after all.”

  “You’ve got it,” Canaan said. “Take the afternoon off, Sheila. We’ll get better work out of you that way, anyway. Maybe you could join us in the clinic this evening?”

  She nodded, realizing for the first time that, aside from her joy at having Preston and Blaze here working beside her—a comforting presence from home—they were going to carry their weight. And she did feel safer with them here. Definitely.

  Just having Preston closer tended to chase away the excessive fears that had haunted her since her arrival.

  Maybe Preston was an answer to some of her prayers, as well.

  Canaan was conflicted. He now had not one, but three people to help him in the search for some kind of connection between those who had died. And these were people from afar, whom he could trust. And yet…

  He glanced at Preston. From Canaan’s earliest memories, any time he faced an important event or had a decision to make, he listed in detail every pro and con he could think of about the subject. That was how he realized so well that there were drawbacks in even the most positive experiences—nothing was ever totally black-and-white.

  For instance, at one of his worst times—when Sheila had left—Canaan had been forced to fight his own battles. It was a lesson he should have learned much earlier.

  And now that Sheila had come back—his heroine once again jumping into the fray, bringing friends along to help—the sudden, unexpected blessing was not without a few very obvious drawbacks.

  It wasn’t so much Preston Black’s arrival that was disconcerting, it was the fact that his presence forced Canaan out of de
nial. He had to admit to himself that he didn’t want to lose Sheila again.

  And yet he didn’t want to be jealous of the closeness she shared with Preston. A more mature man would have enjoyed seeing the happiness in her eyes when Preston arrived this afternoon. But Canaan couldn’t help wondering about Preston’s character. What kind of man was he? Why had Sheila told him to stay away? Was he forcing himself on her by coming and ingratiating himself here?

  From what Granddad had said about Sheila’s marriage, the trouble had begun with disagreements about her faith, and had escalated from there, until only a shell of a marriage remained when her husband was killed in an accident with the woman who’d been his last tawdry flirtation.

  How many other flings had the loser had, endangering his wife’s heart, as well as her life, with who knew what sexually transmitted diseases?

  That aside, however, Canaan felt on the verge of true excitement as he settled with Blaze and Preston in the clinic. He showed Blaze the files and the multiple forms to be filled out when the children came through. He gave Preston a set of parameters to check while examining the medical histories of those who had died. Blaze would be a hit with the kids, and Preston was enough of a hunk that the older girls would love to catch a glimpse of him.

  All in all, Canaan’s current list was filled with pros. The cons were few.

  So why did that very short list threaten to ruin his suddenly upbeat attitude?

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  D inner aromas permeated the air outside the cafeteria late Monday afternoon, drifting through the clinic, reminding Sheila that she’d had only a few crackers and an apple before her short nap—her very short nap.

  The clatter of pots and pans and the occasional cry of a bird were the only noises she heard through the windows. Her attention was on the soft chatter of nervous children and Blaze’s low voice behind the privacy screen, offering reassurance that he and Sheila were both very gentle.

  Sheila’s turquoise cross, in its setting of gold, danced in midair as she bent over a second grader. She fingered the stone absently, remembering Tanya’s comment that the turquoise served as protection. She had gotten the idea from Betsy Two Horses.

  Sheila couldn’t think about that at the moment. The children were arriving in the clinic in small groups. Blaze was drawing blood, doing the basic checkups, and Sheila was providing more complete physical examinations.

  Far from being put to work scrubbing toilets, Preston was, at this moment, in Canaan’s apartment, at his kitchen table, poring over a stack of financial reports that Canaan admittedly didn’t understand.

  As always, Sheila loved working with the children, but not sticking them with needles. Fortunately, most of the kids were up to date on their immunizations, so very few injections were necessary.

  So far this afternoon, she had discovered that the Twin Mesas children seemed happy and eager to please. There was no sign of a problem, and she wondered about Canaan’s comment that there were children who seemed spooked. The only one who appeared spooked was Tanya.

  Just as the last child was finished, Tanya walked into the clinic. Sheila was surprised to see her, and she didn’t like the pallor of her face.

  “You doing okay, Tanya?”

  The girl nodded and stepped up to Sheila’s desk. “I should’ve listened to Canaan, but I wanted to go to the surprise party for Kai. He’s sixty-five today, and Betsy made him his favorite taco with extra cheese, and a chocolate birthday cake big enough for his whole homeroom class.”

  “But you’re not in his class.”

  “No, but Jamey Hunt has been supervised by Kai since his parents died, so he was invited, and he said April and I could go, too.”

  Sheila dabbed at a streak of chocolate on Tanya’s chin. “You don’t look as if you feel very well. Too much cake?”

  Tanya shook her head. She glanced back over her shoulder toward the door, then leaned closer to Sheila. “April’s such a jerk.”

  “How’s she being a jerk?”

  “I wouldn’t tell her what was wrong with me, and it made her mad. Then she found out I was staying with you, and so now she’s all ‘Tanya’s studying to be a biligaana,’ like it’s some horrible crime.”

  Sheila reached out and felt Tanya’s forehead, then her neck. The girl didn’t feel warm, but she was bound to be tired and weak from her ordeal yesterday. “Do you want to go to Canaan’s office for a while to rest?”

  Tanya shook her head. “I’ll stay here with you. I don’t care what April says.” She glanced around as a tall, slender boy around her age walked in, then she turned back and whispered, “That’s Jamey, April’s brother. He’s not like his sister.”

  “Thank you. Why don’t you sit down over by the windows. I have a form for everyone to fill out, and you might as well get that over with, too. I’ll give you a checkup after the rest of the kids have gone,” Blaze was saying.

  A hint of a grin peeked from the girl’s dark brown eyes. “Can Blaze do the checkup?”

  Sheila chuckled. “Sure, he can take your vitals.”

  Satisfied, Tanya walked toward the far end of the large room, where comfortable chairs had been grouped together as a waiting area beside a bank of windows overlooking the playground and cafeteria. She slumped onto a chair near Jamey Hunt.

  Another young girl stepped through the doorway, then paused and looked around. Her eyes appeared small, but that was probably because of the scowl on her face when she glanced Sheila’s way. She was short, with black hair that clung to her scalp. As she took a seat between Tanya and Jamey, her thin, gangly arms and legs seemed to jut in all directions.

  She whispered something to Tanya, giggled, then glanced at Sheila, eyes still narrowed.

  Tanya shifted in her seat, obviously uncomfortable.

  The newcomer turned back to Tanya and whispered something else.

  “Stop it, April,” Tanya muttered.

  Sheila watched the girl a moment longer as she whispered to Tanya once more, reached across and pushed a chart off the bookcase behind Jamey. Then she shot Sheila a glare.

  This would be interesting.

  Once the rest of the sixth and seventh grades had arrived, Sheila handed out clipboards, each with a questionnaire and a pencil. It was a simple form, with easy questions, but as she passed out the sheets, she heard groans of foreboding. The children shot worried glances at each other.

  “This test won’t do any good, you know,” April said when Sheila reached her.

  Sheila held a clipboard out for April. “It isn’t a test, it’s a health history form.”

  April’s dark eyes met Sheila’s gaze with a bold challenge. Slowly, with deliberation, she took the clipboard from Sheila, then dropped it onto the floor, where it clattered loudly.

  Sheila gave herself a moment to remember the last time she’d heard the clatter of a clipboard on the floor. It had been a week ago, when she had dropped one twice, herself, on the hospital floor in Hideaway. For her, the reason had been distraction. For April, the reason might be a little more complicated.

  “I read in your file that you’re a bright girl, April,” Sheila said as she picked up the item of apparent offense. She considered offering April condolences over the loss of her parents, but decided that wasn’t wise at this moment.

  The girl’s glare turned colder. “You read my file?”

  “Sure. I’m in charge of your health care until the end of the year. I need all the information I can get.”

  “I don’t care about this stuff, I care about running. If I can run fast, I won’t have to worry about medical stuff. I’ll be healthy.” April leaned back in her seat, arms crossed in front of her.

  “You don’t run that fast, April,” said her brother beside her.

  “Shut up, Jamey.”

  “Then stop causing trouble and fill out the form.”

  Two pairs of matching, dark eyes locked in a silent duel for several seconds before Sheila stepped between the brother and sister. She gave
Jamey a clipboard, then turned back to his sister.

  “I’m flattered, April. I was under the impression you didn’t like me, but now it looks as if you want to spend more time with me so I can give you a complete physical.”

  April’s sneer drooped.

  “Who knows?” Sheila continued as she handed April’s clipboard to her once more, “I may have you here well after school is over for the day. Would you like to spend some time together after school? I’d love to get to know you better.”

  Warm color spread slowly across the girl’s face. “You can’t keep me here against my will.”

  “I wouldn’t dream of physically restraining you. I can, however, discuss the situation with your principal and your track coach. I’m afraid your track activities would have to be curtailed until I get this form filled out.”

  “Doc wouldn’t listen to a—”

  “Biligaana?” Sheila allowed just a hint of warning to enter her voice. “He would listen to this one, because I ran on his track team, too, and he and I have known each other a long time.”

  The small eyes widened. Apparently not all the information about Sheila’s history had circulated through the school. Fascinating. If this had been Hideaway, everyone on campus would have already known her mother’s and father’s full names, dates of birth and her mother’s maiden name, and her parents before her.

  “I’m sure Doc will understand that we have an important relationship to develop,” Sheila continued. “I’ll explain it to him after the final bell today.”

  April snatched up her pencil and leaned over her paper in an exaggerated show of eagerness.

  Tanya shot Sheila a grin, and Sheila winked at her. April wasn’t as tough as she thought she was. A hurting child acted out in a number of different ways. Later, maybe Sheila and April could have a long talk.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  T he dismissal bell had not stopped ringing when Canaan looked up from his desk and saw Kai Begay striding across the playground, ponytail bobbing, chin jutting forward and hands flexing in and out of fists at his sides. He walked like a man in a hurry. Kai seemed to be in a snit about something quite often now that Sheila was here.