Poison & Pie

by Beth Byers

  “You won, Zee. Fair and square.”

  “I want a ribbon,” she said. “With #1 winner on it. I’ll wear it on my uniform. Every. Single. Day.”

  I laughed because it was so Zee to win and forever rub it in.

  “You’re suspects,” Carver said flatly after we explained everything. My eyes narrowed, but Zee simply smiled. Meanly. Viciously even. Carver winced and then added, “Everyone who got one of those and was there is. But we’re still working on what killed Murphy. That’ll help narrow it down.”

  ‘“It was belladonna berries, I bet,” Zee said, digging herself a little grave in the murder suspect graveyard.

  I winced and wanted to slap the back of her head. She smirked at me instead of wincing at my glare.

  “There was never berry lemonade before. He guzzled a whole glass at least. Those things kill you fast. Especially how he died.”

  I almost moaned and my voice was hoarse when I asked, “Why do you know this?”

  “Crime drama is the only kind of TV worth watching,” she said, crossing her legs and examining her nails as if she hadn’t just pushed herself up the list. “Belladonna is a beautiful plant. There are several hobby gardeners around here who grow it.”

  I closed my eyes. I’d seen Zee’s garden. She had a flourishing orchard with tons of other things. Please don’t say it, I thought. Please don’t say it.

  “I’ve got two big plants actually.”

  “Zee! For the love of…” I trailed off as I saw her face. She was happy perhaps. Satisfied? I was going to kill her myself and not worry about the death sentence.

  “There are some gardens in Portland that grow it, of course. And that pretty garden in Lincoln City. Another up in Tillamook. It isn’t against the law,” Zee said idly. She took a sip of her coffee and then swirled the spoon through her cup so casually I was sure she was putting on a show. Did she want to be arrested? I wasn’t sure she didn’t. Oh my goodness.

  “Stop it,” I said.

  “It isn’t illegal to grow things that could be used for ill intent,” she said easily. “But it is fun.”

  “Stop it,” I said again, with a plea this time. I glanced at Simon who met my gaze but didn’t seem surprised.

  “Rose, I won’t pretend I’m sorry he’s dead, and I won’t pretend that I didn’t figure out…”

  “Stop it!” I shouted. “Stop it!”

  She grinned then and oh my goodness, I wanted to slap her. I slammed my coffee cup down on the table and leaned forward. “Stop trying to make yourself the first suspect. Everyone here knows you didn’t kill that troll, and you will not distract us from whatever you’re up to.”

  “I won’t distract you? Really? What do you think I’m up to?” Zee asked meanly.

  Oh I had all kinds of answers to that, but I suspected she wanted Carver chasing his tail proving she wasn’t the killer while she found the killer herself. I wanted to say it, but I knew she’d make me pay, and…it wouldn’t change anything. She was going to do what she was going to do without my input.

  I sniffed and rose to pace.

  What was she doing? Did she expect to get arrested and then just force me to get her out? Was this because she was playing games with Carver? Was this because she was playing games with the entirety of Silver Falls?

  I saw her mouth twitch and I wanted to smack her so bad. But I was pretty sure she was doing this to just…play with all of us. She knew what she knew, but now she was just messing around. Oh my goodness. I mean, I knew she wasn’t the killer. I knew she’d never have murdered someone—especially for a bad review or winning a contest.

  “She doesn’t have a motive,” I spurted out. “No one would kill for a blue ribbon even if she planned on messing with me every time she wore it.”

  Carver had been watching Zee as if she were some sort of rare bird, and my comments seemed to wake him up. He turned to me and said, “Yeah. Very true.”

  “She’s messing with us. I’m not sure why yet. Probably because she’s mostly evil.”

  Carver and Simon laughed but Simon saw my distress and ended it first while Carver just sipped his coffee, leaning back. His gaze hadn’t turned from Zee and but it was me he was talking to when he said, “I’m not going to arrest her for playing games.”

  I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Ok, I thought, ok. He has enough of a handle on Zee to realize she was messing around. That’s all I need. Now I just need to solve this murder before she gets arrested. Which is when it hits me.

  My mouth dropped open and her evil cackle filled the room. My gaze met hers and she grinned unrepentantly.

  “I was helping,” I told her. “I made calls.”

  She tapped her finger on the table, meeting my gaze the whole time, and not moving an inch. This…stupid…evil…friend just manipulated me into being fully dedicated to solving this crime with her.

  “You…are…so…” I fumbled and finally came up with, “…bad.”

  Zee laughed outright at that. Maddie seemed to finally realize what Zee had done and her giggles had my own lips twitching. I flopped into the chair next to her and said, for probably the millionth time, “ I don’t know why I like you, Zee.”

  “You’re bored without me. You and Simon are dog people. Straight-laced and…whatever. You need cat people in your life.”

  “I assume by cat people you mean friends who are evil and manipulative?”

  She shrugged, but the light in her eyes told me I’d gotten it exactly right.

  TEN

  Simon pulled me to the office with him. Carver took Zee to the side of the diner out of the earshot of Lyle and Maddie. Given the fire in Zee’s gaze as she looked at Carver, I was pretty sure she was messing with him. I’d really have liked to be listening to that conversation instead of having Simon drag me away.

  “You’re going to end up investigating this, aren’t you?” Simon tucked some of my hair behind my ear and looked down at me. He wasn’t surprised or mad which told me he was far, far too good for me.

  “It’s Zee…” A lame answer if ever there was one. “She’s…”

  I glanced around the office to avoid Simon’s gaze. It was a mess, and I added cleaning it up to my endless to-d0. I even shuffled a few papers, before Simon tugged me back to him.

  “Your best friend?” He grinned down at me. It was true, dang it. I loved that stupid woman, and she played me like a violin. He knew that Zee would drag me after her as we stumbled through trying to figure out the

  “I’ll be safe,” I told him. There was a bit of a plea in it, because I knew I’d both help Zee, and that I didn’t want him upset with me. “And, I’ll tell you whatever we find out.”

  He tucked the top of his chin on my head and said, “Last time someone tried to burn us while we slept.”

  I took a deep breath. He wasn’t wrong. I agreed this was stupid and dangerous. The person we were so determined to find had murdered someone. I’d have left it to Simon and Carver, but Zee…didn’t play that way.

  “You’ll tell me where you go?” There was a hint of steel in his voice, but I knew it was born of concern. Otherwise he’d be telling me that he wouldn’t let me interfere.

  I nodded. I had promised him the last time that we’d be a team. He wasn’t controlling, and I wasn’t needy. We just had to put each other first to make this…thing…between us work. That’s what couples did right? I wasn’t entirely sure. My mom had been single most of my life and other than dating here and there, I’d never really…loved someone before. Did I love Simon? The sheer thought of it made me…feel a little sick. Terrified might be the more accurate word.

  “Do you think Carver will arrest Zee?” Yes, I changed the subject and yes, I was shameless.

  Simon laughed and said, “He knows she’s playing with him.”

  “He likes it,” I said. The reality of what I said hit me and I started laughing into Simon’s chest.

  “Oh, he likes it,” Simon agreed. “He’s not her normal pushover tho
ugh. She might want to keep that in mind.”

  “But we aren’t going to warn her,” I said. I wanted to watch it play out. Carver versus Zee. Who would win? I’d stake the entirety of my inheritance on Zee. Given the way Simon’s lips were twitching, he realized the ride we’d be in too.

  Simon placed a finger over my lips and stuck his head into the hall outside my office. He led the way down the hall, moving silently as if we were breaking into somewhere instead of moving through my own diner. We snuck into the kitchen. The table where Carver has Zee isn’t too far from that.

  I had to swallow my laughter as Simon and I tiptoed through the kitchen to under the window where the orders are place.

  “…now, Zee,” Carver said. “Tell me more about belladonna.”

  She sniffed, and I could just imagine the look on her face. Lips twisted, eyes alight with something that you weren’t quite sure was friendship or plotting to remove your head.

  “Don’t look at me like that,” Carver said. “You’re making yourself a target in this case…why you doing that, Zee?”

  She snorted her classic mean snort and then said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Her tone said she absolutely knew what Carver was talking about and she was still messing with him.

  He chuckled under his breath and said, “You’ve always been a fiery woman.”

  Oh. My. Goodness. Carver’s tone was hot. Was he leaning towards her? Invading her space a little bit? Just enough to show his interest? My gaze met Simon’s and he placed a hand over my mouth to muffle any laughter I lost control of.

  “You know anyone else who’s growing it?”

  Zee sighed before she said, “It’s not really that hard to get ahold of. You just have to know where to look. Literally anyone could find it if they wanted to.”

  Carver sighed on that and said, “We’ll have to confirm your guess, but it does seem likely.”

  I glanced at Simon and nodded. He nodded back. We all thought Zee was right. Belladonna. I didn’t know what it even looked like, but I bet that you could google it easily enough. Silver Falls had several unique gardeners, like Zee. If you knew that…you could find it, no problem. But we were so close to bigger cities like Portland and Seattle. You could probably find anything in those cities. Something like a plant? Surely it was easy enough to come up with some berries from the plant.

  We were acting like children listening to his boss and my best friend. I didn’t expect it to be so fun.

  “How long have you been a cop?” Zee asked. Her voice was almost a purr, and I had to bite down on my lower lip to prevent a sound from escaping.

  Carver ignored the question and said, “Look, Zee. I know you didn’t kill that guy. You don’t have a motive that’s good enough for murder. No one would buy it. I don’t buy it.”

  “I could’ve.”

  “You could do anything,” Carver replied.

  Oh. My. Goodness. I could not believe I was eavesdropping on this. When Zee found out, and she would, she was going to torture me.

  “I didn’t kill him,” Zee said. “I don’t know who did. That’s why Rose and I are going to find out.”

  “You need to stay out of this. This isn’t a game, Zee. No matter what lucky breaks you and Rose have had before,” Carver said with a hint of steel in his voice. I would do a lot to be able to see the two of them. Were they staring into each other’s eyes? Were they faced off like toddlers fighting over a toy? Either was equally possible with Zee.

  “I didn’t say it was a game. We can’t have people going around and murdering nasty little trolls in our town,” she said. Her tone was almost righteous. “We don’t need that kind of reputation in Silver Falls.”

  Oh man, I didn’t know Carver well enough to know how he’d respond to that, but I wanted to see his face so bad.

  He laughed. Like a full belly laugh.

  “He likes her,” I whispered to Simon.

  He bored his eyes into mine, telling me to shut up. It was a good point. Carver was Simon’s boss. I didn’t care all that much if he found me eavesdropping, but Simon…I could see how that would be a problem.

  “Get out of the kitchen, you two.” Zee called. “Rose. We have stuff to do.”

  “This interview isn’t over,” Carver said. Simon and I darted toward the door of the kitchen before Carver could see us, but we were too late. I shrugged it off, but my gaze met Zee’s and I tried to convey I didn’t like her throwing Simon under the bus like that.

  She just grinned. It was her evil grin, as usual. I snarled back at her, but that just made her grin even wider.

  “Why are we friends?”

  “I’m like a fungus,” she replied. “You can’t get rid of me. Get out of here, Lyle. We’re closing for real.”

  My mouth dropped as did Lyle’s and then he said, “Oh….yeah…sorry…”

  “You too Maddie,” Zee ordered.

  Maddie, however, leaned back and started singing, “Carver and Zee sitting in a…”

  Zee crossed to Maddie, took her by the arm, and pulled her towards the diner’s door. The bell jangled as Zee shoved Maddie out.

  “We’ll talk later about our scavenger hunt.”

  I guessed from her tone Zee decided we were still having a city wide party. I realized that I was actually excited about the idea and grinned as I saw Maddie shrug Zee off, lean in to hiss something, and then stock off.

  “She’s a firecracker,” Carver told Simon, gaze on Zee.

  I choked on that and then said, “Careful or you’ll get burned.

  “It’ll be worth it.”

  I choked again and laughed until it hurt. I’d left the dogs home, so I grabbed my bag and fled out of the diner, leaving the two police officers inside. I don’t think even Simon realized we were actually leaving until I hopped in my car, and by then, it was too late for either of them to stop us.

  Zee got in beside me and cracked her knuckles, shaking out her hands a moment later and then she said, “That was fun.”

  “I think you intoxicated him. Did you put booze in the coffee?”

  “Oh that was all me,” Zee grinned. There was enough of a twist to her lips that I was certain she had enjoyed that more than she could have. I know I had. I laughed and headed away from the diner before they could pull us over and cross-examine us some more.

  I took a bet with myself though that neither of them thought we had anything to do with the murder and they were just trying to get a handle on what we knew. Not much, I thought and then glanced at Zee. Well…I didn’t know much.

  “What do you know, Zee?”

  ELEVEN

  “The way I see it,” Zee said. “The only real suspects are those who have lost their business after one of those reviews or who might have. That leaves us with only about 3 suspects. But one of those is Henrietta King from the little bakery in Neskowin. I know for a fact she was a the hospital yesterday with her husband. He had a stroke.”

  I flinched for Henrietta. I had only met her a time or two, both times with Zee, but I had liked the woman. She was built like a bird and flit around her bakery like a grandma giving her grandchildren cookies rather than a business woman. It was a business model that worked, but she priced too low for security.

  “Who does that leave?”

  “Martha Sloan, Harper Nolan, and maybe Lyle.”

  “What do you know about Lyle?”

  “I think what you mean is what has Simon found out so far?”

  I hadn’t meant that. Zee took my phone, unlocked it without a pause, and messaged Simon. I scowled at her, but she didn’t care.

  “Go see Martha,” Zee said. “We’ll ask her some questions and move on from there.”

  Martha was not the most imaginative of cooks. She’d made simple pies well, but there were none of the funky little twists that Zee and I had played with like the bourdon and hazelnuts. I was shocked to see her place because of that. I’d expected some pretty victorian—which it was—but I hadn’t expected something sp
ecial. Her place could have been the setting for Hansel and Gretel and it had a carved sign out front with ornate swirls and flowers carved and painted into the wood. Fairytale’s End—the place of dreams. It was adorable. I oohed and ahhed the whole way up the steps.

  “She gets produce from me a lot,” Zee told me. “We’re not friends, but we’re friendly.”

  I blinked at that. If Zee really grew belladonna—she could have grown the plant that killed Murphy Jesse. I didn’t know what I wanted. I both liked and didn’t like Martha. I liked her because she was always polite, but she was too smooth. If it were between her and Lyle? I mean…is it weird that I wanted it to be Martha because Lyle seemed to understand the power of rain in the air?

  I could smell it even nearly all the time in Silver Falls, and it made me do crazy things. If someone combined a full moon with the smell of rain, I couldn’t be responsible for my actions. Probably. Even though I was a staid baker who played with recipes and bussed tables.

  “Martha,” Zee said as the unruffled proprietress opened her front door, “Did you murder the troll?”

  Martha stepped back, actually clutching her pearls, and I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing. It was just so…clichéd except she really was wearing a stand of pearls. They were black and as big as marbles. Also, they were lovely, completing her image with her 50s style dress, heels, and chignon. I felt a bit like a loser in my khakis and The 2nd Chance Diner polo.

  I glanced around her foyer and noticed a basket full of muffins. There was a coffee setup and a tray of fruit. The serving board looked antique and beautiful. She’d put it together with little white bags that had a stamp on them with the name of her cottage, so people could take breakfast to go. She was protecting the serving with a glass top. It was too fancy for my style, but it was lovely. The whole place was lovely with the pink pinstripe wall paper and the wainscoting.

  “How can you even ask that?” Martha demanded. “I…I….” Her eyes filled with tears, and I found myself wondering how much was a front? But then I remembered being asked about the death of that stupid kid right after I’d moved to Silver Falls. Those feelings were ones I wanted to revisit.