Easy on the Eyes

by Jane Porter

  Max drums his fingers on the table. “You like him?”

  Yes, I like him. But he’s not Keith. He’s definitely not Keith, and I want to find a Keith. Someone I can fall in love with again. Someone I can believe in again. But I suppose to do that I have to stop dating men who live thousands of miles away. “Yes, Max.”

  “Good. When do you see him again?”

  “I don’t know. As you’re aware, he’s on location in France. I work here. It’s not an easy commute.”

  “So you’re going to leave him alone with Kiki?” Max asks shrewdly, knowing, as I do, that Kiki has a reputation for seducing her co-stars.

  “Max, I have a career, too. A career that might be in trouble— ”

  “Yes, and Trevor’s good for you.”

  What Max really means is that Trevor has upped my fair market value. I’m a hotter, more exciting commodity with Trevor attached to my name.

  So maddening. So L.A. But also so true.

  Dinner is finally served at nine o’clock. Everyone has taken their places at our table save for two, and I’m delighted when the salad course appears. I have never in my life been so happy to see field greens with beets and crumbled feta cheese.

  The empty chair next to me scrapes back, and heads lift at our table, everyone pausing to welcome the final couple, Alex Frost and his date— only Alex isn’t a man. Alex is a very tan, very sexy blonde, and Alex’s date is none other than Michael O’Sullivan.

  Lightning, apparently, can strike twice. Lucky me. Alex takes the chair next to the gentleman on her right, leaving the chair to my right empty, which means Michael and I are going to be sitting next to each other for the next couple of hours.

  How is this possible?

  I detest this man, yet he keeps turning up everywhere that I am. And of course his date, Alex Frost, is a voluptuous blonde poured into a red beaded gown with a keyhole opening at the sternum, showing the firm magnificence of her breasts.

  “I’m sorry we’re late,” Michael apologizes to the group as he helps Alex with her chair. “Alexis was paying homage to Jessica Simpson’s hairdresser.”

  Is he serious? Or is this a joke? But Alex beams. “I adore Ken Pavés,” she says.

  I guess he was serious.

  “She’s a huge fan of his work,” Michael says, grinning, as he sits next to me.

  “We’re just glad you’re here,” says Irene, Max’s wife. “As I’m a huge fan of your work.”

  Irene explains to the table that Michael is Dr. O’Sullivan, the renowned Beverly Hills plastic surgeon. “I owe everything to Dr. O’Sullivan,” she adds, holding out a slim, bejeweled hand to Michael. “A couple years ago he gave me my pre-baby body back, and then this year he erased the ravages of time.”

  Max catches my gaze across the table and gives me a significant look.

  He deliberately put Michael and Alex next to me. Max is hoping that by putting me close to Michael O’Sullivan, surgeon to the stars, I’ll suddenly find plastic surgery less offensive.

  I shake my head at Max and look away, catching Michael’s eye instead.

  “Lucky us,” Michael murmurs, taking his napkin from beside his plate and spreading it on his lap. His arm bumps mine, sending little frissons of feeling up my arm and down my spine. My chest constricts and I take a quick, surprised breath.

  Why does he do this to me? I don’t like him. I don’t want to like him, but he has so much energy, such vitality, that I can’t help but be aware of him.

  “Someone’s laughing somewhere,” I answer flatly, trying to ignore the way his body takes up all the space, trying to ignore the way my body responds to him. Not even sexy Scottish Trevor makes my skin feel hot and my nerves scream. I shuffle to my left to put more space between us.

  Michael notes my sideways maneuver. “Uncomfortable?”

  “Not at all,” I lie.

  He muffles a laugh and leans toward me, his tuxedo-clad shoulder nearly brushing mine. “You remind me of my favorite Sunday school teacher, Miss Littleton,” he says softly, his voice pitched so low that I feel as if he’s telling me something very serious. “She was twenty-one and beautiful and very, very virtuous.”

  He pauses, dense lashes lifting, revealing those deep blue eyes that aren’t natural at all. “And then she ran away with the priest Father Flaherty.” Michael clucks. “Tragically, Father Flaherty was excommunicated.”

  “And what happened to her?” I ask, curious despite myself.

  “She became Mrs. Flaherty and had five little Flahertys.”

  I don’t know if it’s the hint of an Irish brogue in his voice or the glint in his eyes, but I blush. “That’s not a true story.”

  “It is. Every word of it.”

  Alexis suddenly wants to be part of our conversation, and she laces an arm through Michael’s and leans across him. “What’s not a true story, darling?” she asks, her blue gaze fixed on me.

  In her mind I’m competition.

  If only I could tell her I loathe her man.

  “Father Flaherty and his five little Flahertys,” Michael answers with a half-smile.

  She frowns, arched eyebrows flattening. “I don’t understand.”

  Michael introduces us instead of attempting to explain. “Alexis, this is Tiana Tomlinson. Tiana and I were on the Larry King show Thursday night. Tiana, this is Alexis Frost, an expert on cosmetic surgery.”

  Obviously, I think.

  Alexis looks at me critically. “Are you considering having work done?”

  I smile, but it feels brittle. “No. I’m not a fan of plastic surgery.”

  “Why not?” she asks.

  Michael gestures to her. “We met on the show— ”

  “His show,” Alexis interrupts. “Dr. Hollywood. You’re familiar with it?”

  This is torture. I can’t believe I have to sit here next to these two for dinner. “I’m familiar with it, but I never had the chance to watch it. It was on for only a year, wasn’t it?”

  “Yes, but it’s in syndication now.” She glances at Michael. “I had a guest role on an episode. One thing led to another, and here I am.”

  And here she is. A work of art.

  Michael’s gaze meets mine. A smile tugs at his mouth. I’d love to ask him what he sees in Alexis. I’d love to ask him why he— by all accounts a brilliant surgeon— is with a blonde bimbo, but I know the answer to that. Men love beauty, even if the beauty is brainless, which means even brilliant, charismatic surgeons can be shallow.

  I’m feeling very shallow the next morning when Trevor calls me and we struggle to find something to discuss other than his movie.

  I’m sitting curled up on the couch with my morning coffee, sunshine streaming through the windows, the phone tucked between my chin and shoulder as I leaf through the Sunday papers while we chat.

  “I can’t believe it’s only been a week since you left,” he says. His voice is rough, and he sounds tired.

  “Long week?”

  “Very.” He yawns and then adds with a grumble, “Sometimes I hate the long-distance thing.”

  “Me too.”

  “So when will I see you again?”

  “When is your next break?” I ask.

  “I don’t know. We’re behind schedule. Two of the producers are here this weekend, and they’re tearing into the director as we speak.”

  “That’s not going to help things tomorrow, is it?”

  “No, but the money people don’t care.”

  And just like that we run out of things to say. Again. Always. I struggle to come up with a new topic and grab at the first thing that comes to mind. “So how’s Kiki?”

  “Why do you ask?” His tone is less friendly now.

  I try to make a joke of it. “Everybody keeps teasing me that you’re on location with Kiki Woods.”

  “And what does everybody say?”

  He’s not laughing. He’s angry. I swallow hard.

  “What are they saying, Tiana?”

  “Nothing.”<
br />
  “Come on, don’t be coy now.”

  “They say she’s a man stealer,” I answer defiantly.

  “Then they have it wrong. Kiki doesn’t steal men. I don’t know why you’d repeat gossip.”

  I close my eyes, press my fingers to my brow. “I’m sorry.”

  He’s not mollified. “I don’t know why you’d believe garbage like that.”

  “I was trying to make conversation. I’m sorry.”

  We say good-bye and hang up, and I sit for a moment feeling profoundly empty.

  This is not the relationship I want. This isn’t going anywhere good. I should just end it with Trevor. Break it off. Be done with it.

  But if I break things off, then I’m completely single again, and I don’t like being completely single. Being single means you have to start dating all over again and looking for someone new and being open and vulnerable. I’m not good being vulnerable. Not good opening up and sharing.

  Don’t think about it, I tell myself, reaching for the newspaper again. Don’t think about Trevor or dating or men.

  It’s while reading the New York Times “Style” section that I spot an article on the rise in plastic surgery in the United States and fold back the newspaper to read the article in its entirety.

  The article doesn’t say anything I don’t already know. A year ago, I attended the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery’s annual, just after Kanye West’s mom’s death. I’d gone to do research for a story on our American culture’s obsession with self-improvement.

  The products repulsed me— chin implants, breast implants, lipo needles, sponges, drains, forceps, dissectors, retractors— but I was fascinated by the professional education offered. Workshops covered the newest medical tips and techniques, including how to up sell your “client” to generate more income.

  It was a lightbulb moment for me, the realization that medicine had moved from the necessary to the elective and that doctors must not just compete but actively solicit for business.

  A great plastic surgeon isn’t necessarily a gifted surgeon, but a brilliant businessman.

  One of the workshops I sat in on was titled “The Malpractice-Free Practice,” run by a former physician who founded an insurance company for physicians. Dr. Krupp urged every physician to brush up his or her bedside manner. “Communicate,” he lectured, “become a good listener. Make sure you understand what it is your client wants. Don’t ever assume, and don’t— whatever you do— don’t play God.”

  Setting aside the paper, I realize I can’t fight it anymore, can’t relax. I need to be busy, get researching. I carry my laptop downstairs to my terrace with the wrought iron table and chairs. Thanks to wireless technology, I’m able to sit in the warmth of the sun and research everything I can on women, beauty, image, success, and self-esteem.

  There’s a lot to be found.

  I’m still reading when the clock on my mantel strikes noon, and I suddenly feel like Cinderella about to miss her own ball as I rush into the bedroom and look for the dress Shannon suggested I wear to the Pixar film premiere. It’s a chocolate shirt dress with a wide belt cinched at the waist. She accessorized it for me, too, so I throw on the wooden bangles and the gold hoops and do a quick makeup and comb through before heading out the door, where Polish John, my other driver, waits.

  While John drives, I wonder if more women would have work done if they could afford it. Is the idea of being cut not as frightening to other women as it is to me?

  Maybe it’s time I did another piece on plastic surgery, and this time not on the industry itself, but on the impact surgery has had on women’s lives.

  I know the bad stuff already. I know those who’ve died from undergoing the knife. Kanye West’s mother. Olivia Goldsmith, the novelist. Ordinary women hoping for a make-over. But there are hundreds of thousands of people who have undergone successful procedures without complications. I want to talk to those women, real women, who’ve had work done and find out why they did it and if they’re happy with the results. Did they get what they wanted? Are their lives better now for having done it?

  As the limo pulls up near the theater, I double-check my lipstick in my compact mirror and swipe a fingertip beneath each eye to catch smudged liner.

  I study my reflection for a moment longer.

  Would I be a different person with a different image? And who would I become if I did allow myself to age?

  Chapter Five

  Max’s assistant calls me Monday morning to schedule a late lunch for that afternoon. We’re to meet at the Bel-Air once I’m done taping tonight’s show.

  It’s a good choice, I think, arriving at one and handing over the keys to my car. As I head to the restaurant, I’m soothed by the myriad archways, the gurgle of fountains, and the purple bougainvillea draping from pink stucco walls. I love this hotel and stayed here for a weekend once when my house had a broken pipe. I suppose I didn’t have to stay here for three nights, but it was so luxurious and I felt so pampered that I hated to go back to my empty house with moisture problems.

  We eat on the Terrace with its terra-cotta pavers and elegant stucco arches. My fish entrée is perfect, and the service is superb. As my plate is cleared and the pink linen tablecloth is scraped of crumbs, I can’t help wishing this was how life really was. Beautiful. Calm. Peaceful.

  I wonder if this is how the public imagines my life. Glamorous. Pampered. Luxurious.

  It’s funny, but Hollywood is the least glamorous place I know. It’s a creation for the cameras, achieved with lights and makeup and special effects. Turn off the lights, put away the cameras, and what we do becomes just another job.

  “I have some good news,” Max says, waving off the waiter with the dessert tray.

  “What’s that?”

  “Last week America Tonight trumped its competition. Glenn just gave me a breakdown of the week’s numbers, and as expected, those numbers were highest on Friday with all the tabloid press about your trip to Paris with Trevor.” He looks at me, and there’s a gleam in his eye. “I think the secret is keeping you and Trevor in the news.”

  I totally disagree but am careful expressing my opinion. “Manufacturing ratings?”

  “It’s done all the time.”

  “I know, but I haven’t succumbed to a steady diet of sensationalistic news yet.”

  “Which is why your show needs Shelby,” he answers bluntly. “She understands that this is business, and sex and scandal sell.”

  “So I’m to date a progression of hot young actors to keep my name in the news?”

  “We can’t milk the cougar thing forever. We need a long-term plan as well.” He drums his fingers on the table. “I see two options. The first is a complete but discreet make-over. Face-lift, drop ten pounds, and a new wardrobe. And the second is the make-over coupled with a new show format. Partner you with a sexy young male co-host. New high-energy stories. A new fun set to showcase your youth and chemistry and sex appeal.”

  “You know plastic surgery scares the hell out of me. I like my face.”

  “And so do I, but I like you even better employed.” He pulls out his iPhone and opens the calendar icon. “What’s your schedule like? When could you schedule the surgery? It’d need to be done prior to your contract renewal. I’m thinking late December is slow, which would be ideal. You could take the last couple weeks of December off to recover and be back on the show early to mid-January. Depending on the swelling and bruising, of course.”

  I don’t have my desk calendar here, but I can see it. The spaces are packed with dates, times, appointments. I use a huge desk calendar along with my BlackBerry to keep track of my commitments. “Max, I don’t have time to pee, much less take three to four weeks off for surgery.”

  “You’re missing the big picture here, Tia. You deserve a nice break. Think of it as a paid vacation. A spa thing.”

  “Spas don’t hurt.”

  “Spas can hurt. My wife went to one— not the Golden Door, I think she li
ked that one— but she said it was the most miserable experience of her life. Worse than childbirth.”

  I arch an eyebrow. “You do know you’re not helping your argument, don’t you?”

  He closes the calendar and reaches into his jacket pocket to retrieve a business card. “You were sitting next to Dr. O’Sullivan at the party. I noticed you didn’t talk much, but I hope you got a feel for him. He’s a great surgeon, one of the best, and you should at least go see him for a consultation.” Max hands me the business card, and it’s Michael’s. “Call him, schedule an appointment, okay?”

  I’m just leaving the Bel-Air Hotel when my phone rings. It’s Madison on the line. “Where are you?” she asks frantically.

  “Leaving the Bel-Air.”

  “Get here fast. The studio execs have been hanging out with Shelby for the past half hour and now she’s going to tape your tease for Wednesday’s show.”

  “Why is she going to tape my tease?”

  “I think they’re testing her tease, checking numbers.” Madison gulps a breath. “Tiana, what’s happening? Are they replacing you?”

  “No.” My voice is firm, no-nonsense, belying my own inner panic. “It’s just a numbers thing,” I continue crisply. “It’s sweeps month, so the studio heads are always looking for a new gimmick to punch the ratings up.”

  I’m at the HBC tower in twenty minutes, but the execs are gone by the time I arrive. Shelby has already tracked Wednesday’s teases and is just stepping off the soundstage.

  Shelby spots me as I enter the room and comes over to greet me. “I hope you don’t mind that they asked me to tape. We had some really fun headlines, too.”

  She smiles, and nothing moves on her face except her lips as they part to reveal very straight, very white veneered teeth.

  “What was one of the headlines?” I ask.

  She smiles even more brightly and straightens her shoulders, about to deliver the line the way she would on camera. “Jamie Spears’s baby already on Prozac? The doctor’s orders, on the next America Tonight!” Her on-camera voice and posture drops and she looks at me, giggles. “Good, isn’t it?”