Restless Hearts

by Marta Perry

  Apparently there was little point in trying to keep it secret now. Everything was out in the open, or would be soon. “Yes. I heard the intruders, and I called Ted.”

  “And you saw.” Her grandmother reached across the table to grip Fiona’s hand. Her fingers seemed worn to the bone but still strong. “You saw them.”

  “Not to identify,” she said quickly. “Just shadows, running away in the dark.”

  “It is true?” Her voice held anguish. “One of the boys, the one who kept watch, he was Amish?”

  Fiona’s heart twisted. Everything she’d feared about this was coming to pass, and there was no way to avoid it. She nodded.

  Her grandmother took a shaky breath, and her face tightened until it seemed the wrinkled skin was a roadmap of all the grief of her lifetime. “Was it Levi?”

  Pain ricocheted through her. “I couldn’t see, honestly. Only an outline of a boy in Amish clothing. It could have been anyone.” She tried not to think about what Ted had said, about how the circle of suspicion seemed to be narrowing around her young cousin.

  Her grandmother stared at her, gray eyes boring into her, as if searching past all evasions for the truth. “There is more, Fiona. I can see it in your face. Tell me what it is that you know.”

  Pain gripped her heart. Ted had ordered her not to tell, but she couldn’t lie to her grandmother. Ted should know that. She couldn’t pretend that she didn’t know where the police investigation was headed and let the family find out in some other, more painful way.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I understand that one of the boys they’ve identified mentioned Levi’s name. There’s nothing certain, no one’s come right out and accused him—”

  But her grandmother’s expression collapsed in grief. Tears welled in her eyes, and she put work-worn hands up to cover her face.

  “Please, don’t.” Fiona sprang from her chair and rounded the table to put her arms around the bent figure. “I’m so sorry. Nothing is certain—we don’t know that he’s done anything.”

  For just a moment her grandmother clung to her, arms tight around Fiona’s waist. Then she pushed to her feet and wrapped herself in the black cloak.

  “I must go.” Louise turned toward the door.

  “Grandmother—” The word was out without her thinking about it.

  Her grandmother clutched her hand briefly. “It is in God’s hands now.”

  She rushed out, leaving Fiona staring after her, her eyes wet with tears.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Saturday morning was usually Fiona’s time to catch up with laundry and household chores, but she couldn’t seem to settle to anything. Her mind kept returning again and again to the situation with Levi. What was happening with the family? What had her grandmother done when she’d run out the previous evening?

  She couldn’t keep Ted out of her thoughts, either. This was so difficult for him, too. He had such protective loyalty to his Amish roots, but an equally strong duty to his job. The conflict had to be tearing him apart.

  She’d made a promise to him that she hadn’t kept, agreeing that she wouldn’t tell anyone about the accusation against Levi. She’d meant it when she’d agreed, and she didn’t take breaking her word lightly.

  But what else could she have done in the face of her grandmother’s pain?

  Bracing her hands against the washer lid, she stared blankly at the controls, unable to focus.

  Lord, I don’t know what to do, or even how to pray about it. Please, no matter what the truth is about Levi’s involvement, work in this situation to bring good for him and his family.

  She put her hands to her face, surprised to find it wet with tears. She dashed the tears away, straightening. She had been caught unwillingly in this situation, but she wouldn’t let it control her. For all she knew, it might be days or even weeks until the investigation was concluded.

  Switching on the washer, she turned and walked quickly through the house to the front door. With no clients to see, her day was her own unless Susie Yoder went into labor. She wouldn’t spend it moping in the house. Grabbing her bag and jacket and checking to be sure she had her cell phone, she hurried outside.

  The crisp autumn air had a bite to it, and the chrysanthemums glowed golden. It was a day that made one think of orange pumpkins, corn stalks and apple cider. Probably Ruth’s store carried the apple cider, if not the pumpkins and corn stalks. She headed for the store, feeling better now that she had a destination.

  As she approached the door she glimpsed, through the glass, an Amish couple standing with Ruth near the counter, heads together, deep in conversation. She opened the door, the bell jingling, and all three turned to look at her, faces as startled as if she’d been the subject of their conversation.

  She was being paranoid, thinking such a thing. She pinned a smile to her face and advanced toward the counter.

  The couple turned, faces grave, and nodded as they passed her. Ruth stared blankly for a moment before managing an unconvincing smile.

  “Ruth, what’s wrong?” Fiona felt as if a cold wind had swept through the store. “You look…” She wasn’t sure how to finish that thought.

  “You haven’t heard?” Ruth’s gray brows lifted. “It’s all over the township. I thought surely you knew.”

  Her nerves prickled, but she tried to speak lightly. “I must be out of the loop. What’s all over the township?”

  “The police have charged four boys with the vandalism. Three English teenagers.” Ruth blinked, looking away. “And Levi Stolzfus.”

  Telling herself she’d expected it didn’t seem to do much good. Tears welled in her eyes, and she blinked them back. “No. I didn’t know.”

  How could she? No one had come to her—not Ted, not someone from the family. That was a separate hurt in her pain over Levi.

  Ruth looked at her, frowning a little. “But wasn’t it you who saw them when they ran away from here? That’s what everyone is saying.”

  “No. I mean, I had a glimpse of them running away from the store, but I didn’t see enough to identify anyone.”

  “Why didn’t you say anything to me then?” Ruth tipped her head to one side, considering. “Ach, I see. Ted told you to be still about it. Well, it’s out in the open now. Poor Louise.”

  Her heart clenched at the mention of her grandmother. “Have you heard anything about how she’s doing?”

  “Not a word about any of the family. But surely they’ve been in touch with you.”

  “Not yet.” It took an effort not to let pain show in her voice or her face. Maybe they wouldn’t be in touch at all. The family would close in on themselves in a crisis, she already knew that. And she was on the outside.

  She tried to swallow the lump in her throat. She could go to them, but their relationship was too new to test it in this way. And she knew in her heart she didn’t have the courage to face the possibility that they would turn her away.

  There was one other person who knew what was happening. She had to see Ted.

  Fiona approached Ted’s office door, her steps slowing. She could see him through the window, much as she’d seen Ruth and the Amish couple at the store.

  Ted sat at his desk, perfectly still, frowning at something in front of him. His expression froze her hand on the knob. His face was taut with pain, maybe even grief. And it struck her that no one should be watching that private display of feelings.

  No one, including her. Especially not her. No matter how close they’d drawn to each other in the past weeks, she didn’t have the right. In the midst of her own pain over what had happened, she couldn’t let herself forget that he was hurting, too.

  And if he knew she’d told Louise what she’d promised not to tell, he’d be angry with her. Well, she’d just have to face that.

  She took a breath, trying to still the pounding of her heart, and fumbled deliberately with the knob, giving him warning of her approach. By the time she had the door open and had stepped inside, his face had smoothed
into its usual stolid expression.

  “Fiona.” There was no welcome in the way he said her name. He stood, as if good manners compelled that, but he didn’t ask her to take the chair in front of his desk.

  That steady stare made her nervous. “I…I’m sorry to interrupt. I wanted to find out about Levi, and I didn’t know who else to ask.”

  For a long moment she didn’t think he’d answer at all. Finally that rocky façade cracked just a little.

  “All four of the boys have been charged and released into their parents’ custody.” His tone was cool and formal.

  Relief washed over her. “He’s home, then.” At the back of her mind there’d been an image of her young cousin locked in a cell somewhere.

  He gave a curt nod.

  Thank You, Lord.

  “What will happen next?” She took an impulsive step toward him, but stopped when he seemed to tighten in response.

  “It’s in the hands of the district attorney now. There will be a hearing in juvenile court, although it’s possible that Jared could be charged as an adult.”

  “But Levi—surely, if he was only a lookout…” She still found it impossible to believe that he’d willingly participated in destruction.

  If it were possible for stone to harden, Ted’s face did just that. “I can’t discuss an ongoing case with you.”

  “An ongoing case? This is my cousin, not just any ordinary case.”

  “Not in the eyes of the law. I can’t talk about it with you, Fiona.”

  A shaft of anger pierced her. “Why not? You weren’t so reluctant to talk about the case when you wanted my help, were you?”

  His fists braced against the desk so hard that the knuckles were white. “You were a witness. It was your duty to help in the investigation.”

  “I did help.” Her voice wavered, and she fought to control it. “I helped, and now a member of my family is charged with a crime, and you won’t even talk to me about it. I have a right to know—”

  “I had a right to expect you to keep your promise, didn’t I?” His eyes blazed with more emotion than she’d ever seen in him. “I trusted you with police information, and you broke that trust.”

  So, he knew about her grandmother’s visit. Of course he’d see it that way. She’d been a fool to think he’d understand. “My grandmother came to me. She’d already heard rumors about me, about Levi. What else could I do?”

  “You could have kept your word.” A muscle in his jaw twitched, as if he tried to hold back and couldn’t. “I went out to the farm expecting to have a private conversation with Levi and his parents. Instead, thanks to you, I had to face the whole church.”

  Her breath caught. “They didn’t try to stop you—”

  “They wouldn’t do that.” His eyes darkened. “They just watched while I arrested one of their own.”

  His pain reached out and clutched her heart. She could see the scene in his eyes—those dark, motionless figures, the faces of people he’d known and loved all his life, watching while he did what he knew was his duty, the act that sliced apart his roots and his calling.

  Trust. He’d come back here after that horrible experience in Chicago, because here he could trust and be trusted. Now, as he saw it, she’d betrayed his trust. That was the one thing he’d never be able to forgive.

  “You really don’t have to help with this.” Nolie took the stack of dishes from Fiona’s hands. “You go back in and talk to Siobhan while I get the coffee and pie ready.”

  “No use.” Siobhan came through the door from the dining room into the kitchen at Gabe and Nolie’s farmhouse. “I’m here. Those men are talking fire department business again, and I don’t have a thing to contribute to the conversation. I may as well help with the dishes.”

  Nolie laughed, setting the dishes in the sink that was ready with hot, soapy water. “That’s all this family talks about, Fiona. You should know that by now. Unless we have the medical contingent together, that is. With you, me, Terry, her fiancé and Mary Kate, we ought to be able to outtalk the fire department once in a while.”

  “The rest of them aren’t here,” Siobhan said, measuring coffee into the coffeemaker. “You may as well be resigned to hearing firehouse talk.”

  Fiona busied herself with setting out the plates for the cherry pie her aunt Siobhan had brought, letting the other two women carry on with their laughing chatter. The invitation to dinner with Nolie and Gabe and her aunt and uncle had saved her from another lonely, depressing evening like the one she’d spent last night.

  Yesterday Ted had cut away their promising relationship as if it meant nothing at all. As if the moments when he’d held her in his arms and kissed her hadn’t existed.

  And none of the Stolzfus family had come near her since Levi’s arrest. It seemed they too had shut her out.

  She surely had grounds for sorrow. Small wonder she welcomed cheerful company.

  Unfortunately, the clatter of dishes and chatter of women’s voices was too reminiscent of being in her grandmother’s kitchen, feeling a part of her mother’s family at last. Now that was an illusion.

  At least she had her practice. So far none of her patients had left her, and she could only pray that continued.

  She’d come here to establish her midwife practice, not to look for relationships. If she had that, she shouldn’t ask for more. Besides, she still had the Flanagans.

  Nolie went through into the dining room with a tray of cups and silver. Aunt Siobhan put her arm around Fiona’s waist. “Are you all right, dear? You seem very quiet tonight.”

  She managed a smile. “Just enjoying the talk, even when it is about the fire department.”

  “I thought perhaps you were worried about that cousin of yours. Does he have a good attorney?”

  So Siobhan knew about that. It had probably been in the Suffolk newspapers already. The arrest of an Amish teen made news. “The Amish don’t believe in being entangled with the law. Ruth says they’re not likely to hire a lawyer.”

  “The court will appoint someone then.” Concern filled her aunt’s face. “We know a fine young attorney—someone who’s helped Brendan with some of his parishioners. Maybe we could get her to volunteer to take the case.”

  “Would you?” Tears stung Fiona’s eyes at the unexpected offer of help. “I’d be happy to pay an attorney, but I don’t want to seem to interfere.”

  “I’ll talk to her.” Siobhan looked at Fiona, a question in her eyes. “Has this created problems for you with Ted Rittenhouse? It seemed the two of you were getting fairly close.”

  “We’re—we’re just acquaintances, that’s all.” She couldn’t tell her aunt the truth about Ted without tears, so it was best if she said nothing.

  Siobhan hugged her, as if she heard all the things Fiona didn’t say.

  Nolie came back in from the dining room, shaking her head. “You won’t believe it. Gabe’s radio went off with a fire call, and they’re both hanging over it as if they’re still on active duty.”

  “My husband’s like an old fire horse,” Siobhan said, crossing to the coffeemaker. “Ready to run the minute he hears the alarm. I suspect Gabe is just as bad.”

  They were still smiling at the image when Gabe appeared in the doorway, Uncle Joe right behind him. The expression on Gabe’s face wiped away the smiles in an instant. He looked at Fiona.

  She grasped the back of a kitchen chair, somehow knowing she needed its support. “What is it? What’s happened?”

  “It’s a three-alarm from the Crossroads volunteers. Two companies from Suffolk are responding.” He took a step toward her. “I’m sorry, Fiona. The building that’s burning—it’s your house.”

  She lost a few minutes then, probably from shock. She found herself being propelled toward Gabe’s car by Siobhan and Nolie. Nolie gave her a fierce hug.

  “I’m sorry I can’t come, but someone has to stay with the baby. You’re better off with Gabe.”

  “It’s all right.” Her aunt pushed her ge
ntly into the back seat. “Joe and I will be with you. It’s going to be all right.”

  Was it? As soon as he and his father were settled in the front seat, Gabe took off, lights flashing from the top of the car and a siren wailing in the night.

  “I guess it helps to have firefighter relatives at a time like this.” She tried to say the words lightly, but her voice was choked with emotion.

  This couldn’t be happening. It couldn’t. It must have been a mistake. Please, God—Somehow she couldn’t even find the words to pray.

  Aunt Siobhan clasped both her hands, holding them warmly. “Let’s pray,” she said softly, and Fiona nodded.

  “Father, You know we’re in trouble now.” Siobhan’s voice was as conversational as if she spoke to a dear friend. “We ask for Your help in this situation. Be with those who are fighting this fire. Grant them Your protection and surround them with Your love. We pray for the preservation of Fiona’s practice. She’s doing Your healing work in the world, Father. Please be with her and help her now. Amen.”

  “Amen,” the men said together from the front seat.

  “Amen,” Fiona whispered.

  Her aunt’s first thoughts had been for the people who were in danger, fighting the fire. Shame filled her that she hadn’t thought of them first, too.

  Please, Lord, be with them. Ted would be among them—she knew that as if she were there watching. He’d be a part of the volunteer force. Please, protect him.

  Chapter Fifteen

  “Start wetting down the side and roof of the general store!” Ted shouted the orders to the crew of the tanker truck that had just pulled up at the fire scene. His personal feelings might tell him to direct every weapon toward saving Fiona’s house, but as chief of the volunteer fire company, his duty was to the entire community.

  His jaw tightened. He’d been telling the township supervisors for years that they needed a new tanker, but no one listened. He wanted to have them here this instant, to see how inadequate their small tanker was. Crossroads was lucky to have good neighboring companies to call on.