Lost Star

by Rebecca Royce

They wouldn’t—or couldn’t—take me home. I was headed somewhere to become someone else’s problem. I fisted my hands and opened my eyes. At this moment, I wasn’t in any capacity to take control of my life, but I would. So help me, I would. No way no how was I going to be a passive observer in my life. I never had been. Yes, my destiny had been decided for me in a lot of ways, but I always found a way to have a say.

  That wasn’t going to change.

  Somehow.

  Evander wanted me for my psychic abilities. I wasn’t giving them anything. I’d said as much when I’d discussed it with the caretaker at the temple. I could still picture him. He was the only man I regularly saw before now. Older, he watched all of us while we worked on ourselves, while we honed our special gifts.

  Kind. Generous if pushy, and in some ways unyielding.

  “No,” I’d told him. “They couldn’t have me. I wouldn’t agree to it.”

  I used the soap that was in the shower. They both had a clean smell that wasn’t too overwhelming. In any case, I had to smell better than I had been. Being in cryogenic sleep—that was what I thought it was called—probably didn’t lend itself to being clean. Unless someone had bathed me. I shuddered at that thought. Even if it had been handsome Wade. I didn’t like the thought of being that vulnerable, that out of it. I shut off the water as the memory of my insistence to the caretaker fled. What had happened next?

  I didn’t know. Had I agreed to this, or had it been done to me?

  Why couldn’t I remember? I wrapped myself in a towel and came out into the room. Nothing had changed. It was still like I had stepped into another universe that I had no idea how to navigate. Corbin had said he’d bring me clothes. Was he going to do that?

  A beep sounded in the room. I stood there. What was that? Looking left and right, I couldn’t figure out where it had come from or what I would do with it if I did locate the sound. Whatever it was beeped again.

  I sat down on the edge of the bed. I was going to lose my mind by the end of the night.

  The door opened, and Corbin stood in the archway. “You okay?” He stepped into the room. “I debated waiting, but I could hear you were getting more and more upset, so I came in. Breaks protocol. I know that. Manners and all that, but…”

  I sighed. “Something was beeping.”

  Forget the fact that I was half-covered in front of a man—a really good looking one, not that appearance mattered—for the first time in my life, it was the beeping that was going to make me lose my cool any second.

  He blinked. “The door.” He pointed at it. “That was me. Asking you if I could come in. The beep is a signal that someone wants to enter.”

  “Oh.” I threw my head back, laughter catching me by surprise for the second time in however many minutes it had been, and I nearly dropped my towel. “Like a doorbell. It was beep…and I am totally like a baby on this ship. I have no idea what anything is.”

  He handed me a brown bag, and I tried to ignore that he was shirtless and still covered in cream. “There are clothes in here. We don’t have any that would currently fit you perfectly on board, but these will, I think, be good enough until we get where we’re going. Or stop to get you some. Go take a look. I have an idea. Can you read?”

  Could I read? That seemed like a sharp left turn away from what we’d been discussing. “Ah…yes, I can read. Since I was four years old. I read the common tongue.”

  “I ask because the brief research I did on the Dark Planets—and there isn’t much out there—says that not all the planets have literate populations.”

  And now we were into the type of conversation I regularly had. “Yes, that’s true. That’s because after the planets were created and terraformed, they were left to languish as basically the providers of all things Earth’s empire needed with little care of the people there. If they lived, if they didn’t. Who cared as long as things got taken care of?” I shut my mouth. Now really wasn’t the time. “Yes, I read.”

  He nodded. “There’s always empires everywhere we go. Always people who will use others for their means. Earth didn’t seem so bad to me when I was there, but I was mostly with the Chens and…I don’t know. You know more on this subject than I do. Check out the clothes. I’ll be here when you get out.”

  “Thanks, Corbin.” I rose to head back into the bathroom, pausing right before I went in. “I’m not the kind of person who did what I did today when I zapped your friend.”

  He shook his head. “He’s not my friend. He’s my brother in all things but blood. I’d walk through fire for him. Take down planets for him. And today? He baited you. Talked down to you. You pushed back. I get what you did. Don’t worry too much on it. We are violent people. We respond to violence. Maybe you just read that? I don’t know. I barely understand how anything works when it comes to emotions or motivations. None of it.”

  I swallowed, the effort of doing so seeming so hard, because I was so completely focused on what he’d said to me. “I…I think that you may understand things better than you think you do.”

  His smile was huge. “Nah. I’m full of shit. Oh sorry, language. Or whatever.”

  I did as he said, heading into the bathroom. They were all men’s clothing. Were they Corbin’s? Or one of the other guys? He seemed to have torn off sleeves and rolled pants. I smiled. They’d probably stay up on me, even if I was going to look like a child wearing my parent’s clothing because of how huge they were.

  Not that I’d complain, I was glad to have them and grateful. Everything being done for me by these strangers I had just met were not things they had to do. I guessed they could have left me frozen. They could have let me die. Or given me to Evander. Or any number of things.

  Instead, I was being treated with kindness, pretty much. And if some not nice things had been said, I had probably earned those moments. I splashed warm water on my face and put on my clothes. A black t-shirt and a pair of loose sweatpants. I could wear them in or out of the room.

  Coming back out, I stopped immediately. There were small signs all over the room, taped to the wall next to the buttons. Corbin waited by the door, silently watching me. The one by the lights said lights, and next to that further to the left read the word temperature. I covered my mouth. Okay. That made sense. I could…adjust the temp in the room that way. I whirled around. Intercom—calling out for assistance. Yes. I’d never done that through a machine, but I could manage it.

  Exhaust fan to filter the air. Connection to Artemis’ mainframe. I had no idea what that was. Door lock. That was right near the bed, which seemed counterintuitive, but who was I to judge?

  When I found my voice, I turned to Corbin. “Thank you. You have made this…so much better.”

  He nodded. “Most of these things you don’t need the buttons or knobs for at all if you have a tablet.” He held up a small device in his hands. “But we’ll start with that since you’ve lived a pretty mechanical free life, it seems. And you don’t have a tablet, and we don’t have one to give you at this point. This was simple enough. I wish all problems could be solved this easily.”

  “Well, it may have been easy, but it’s life changing. I feel…I feel like I can breathe in here now.”

  He rocked back on his feet. “Breathing is good. Pivotal. All living creatures have to do it. The clothes fit, good. Why didn’t you ask me why?”

  There he was again with the sharp left turns. “What?”

  “When I asked you if you could read, it seems to be that the logical question would have been for you to ask me why I was asking. You didn’t do that. Why didn’t you?”

  I didn’t try to hold back my smile. “Why are you asking?”

  He blinked. “You’re joking?”

  “I am.”

  His smile widened. “I love joking. I mean…we don’t do that. But I love it.”

  They didn’t do it? “You asked me why I didn’t say why, so I said why. Um, I’d love to hear your background sometime if you want to tell me. As for your question. Why I di
dn’t ask why you wanted to know if I could read?” I sighed. “I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear your answer. The general impression you all have of the Dark Planets and everything.” I waved my hand. “You asked because you wanted to know so you could leave me the notes. That turned out to be incredible.”

  He ran a hand through his hair. “Didn’t want to hear the answer to why, so you didn’t ask. I understand.” He walked over to a small table. “Come on. Let’s play a game.”

  Corbin seemed really motivated to play whatever this game was. I followed him over and sat across from him. He placed the device he’d called a tablet in between us. “I should warn you that I don’t play a lot of games. I’d like to learn though.”

  He waved his hand. “This one isn’t hard.”

  Turned out that was correct. It wasn’t hard. I had to press certain things on the device to roll a dice and move a piece. It was possible to crash the whole game or lose in one move. I did that several times. But then I got the hang of it. I had to get a piece to move. Corbin laughed a lot, and it was infectious.

  I couldn’t believe he was really enjoying the actual game. Clearly, he could get the little virtual piece to move around the board with his eyes closed. “Did you do this to teach me how to use the tablet?”

  He leaned on his hand. “I find that people learn things better when they don’t know they’re being taught. That being said, I wanted to spend time with you, see how your mind worked. And not be so serious for an entire evening. Everything is always dour. Everything is always hard. You’ve been through hell, even if you slept through it.”

  I snorted before I outright laughed. Oh forget it. I’d lost again. I leaned back in my chair as he pointed at me. “See? I made you laugh.”

  “You did.” I shook my head. “Where did you come from?”

  He moved his piece, starting the game again. “I was born on the other side of the galaxy. Kellan. Blaze. Anders. We all were. But we weren’t born like you were born, or like Trenton. Or Wade—who is pacing around the med bay, trying to figure out if he should come check on you or leave you alone.”

  I’d forgotten for a second that he could hear everything. “Should we contact him?”

  “No, he’ll figure it out.” He shrugged. “And he won’t like that I told you what I could hear. Calls it invasive. Anyway, we were made in a lab. Hundreds upon hundreds of us. Most of us were killed at birth. We were designed to be Super Soldiers for the purpose of helping Evander Corporation do whatever it is that they want to do.” He shook his head. “And that seemed to basically be the purpose of life. Go. Fight. Kill. Steal. Break. Whatever it was. Then get back on a ship, get knocked out into cryogenic sleep, and do it again. But then we woke up, and there was a woman’s voice, turned out her name was Waverly, and she suggested to us that we could stop. We could help them fight Evander instead. Most of our fellow soldiers scoffed at that, but not Blaze.”

  I wasn’t sure what to say, if there was anything to be said. It didn’t seem like it could be real. How was it possible? “You said yes. You said that you wanted to stop and fight back, too.”

  “Well, I follow Blaze. I always have. And I liked the idea that there could be something more.” He set down the tablet. “Even if I still have no idea what this life is going to look like or what it could even be. Most of what goes on makes no sense to me. You and me? We’re the same that way.”

  He was a Super Soldier, and I was a girl who grew up in a temple in the Dark Planets. I’d never have thought it possible he could have uttered those words. But yes, it seemed we really did have more that we shared than we didn’t.

  4 Corbin

  I played another three rounds with him before I gave up. Shaking my head, I stared at him. “I am terrible at this.”

  He smiled at me. “You really are, but it’s fun playing with you. Could come up with something else if you want. This is the most fun night I’ve had.”

  I didn’t think I had any more strategy games in me for a bit. “What would you normally be doing right now?”

  “Reading or watching something, maybe streaming a movie. Most of them I just don’t understand. Irritating Trenton and Kellan for fun.” He tilted his head to look at me. “Not very exciting.”

  “I don’t know. A movie would be novel for me. I’ve heard of them, never seen them. We can’t get them where I’m from. That much technology I know about.” I shrugged. “Where do you watch movies? On the tablet?”

  He shook his head. “I could do that, but no, I watch them in this room that I think was designed for things like socializing.” He yawned, which seemed to surprise him because he widened his eyes. I managed to withhold my grin. Did Super Soldiers not yawn?

  I cleared my throat. “Tired?”

  “No. We almost never sleep.” He rose and walked to the small window that must show space outside. “Space travel is not natural. I’ve spent almost my entire life on one ship or another. I like this one. It’s comfortable, and the old lady survives. Battle after battle, she makes it through, keeps us safe. Wins somehow. But I can sort of understand why Evander perpetually knocked us out.”

  I quickly looked away from where he watched the outside. “I can’t look where you are. It’s too much. I’m barely hanging on feeling the ship beneath my feet. I can’t look out there and see nothing.”

  He turned around. “First time you’re conscious on the ship. Yes, I can see how it would be weird.”

  “To say the least.” I walked over to the bed and sat down. “I think we should probably both try to go to bed. I know I’ve been asleep for a huge amount of time, but that’s not real rest, is it? It’s somehow different, maybe?”

  Corbin stretched his hands over his head. Although he now wore a white shirt, and I’d seen him shirtless earlier, the motion showed a distinct V where his shirt went up. He was really beautiful. I sat forward, a mark on him catching my attention. “You got burned. Are you okay?”

  He rubbed the back of his head. “I heal quickly. In a few days, it’ll be nothing at all.”

  “Aren’t there med machines here to fix that? We even had them. You’ve been in pain this whole time.” Guilt washed over me. Granted, I’d just met him, but I knew he’d been injured. I should have thought about it earlier. “Can I do anything for you? Help?”

  “Well…” He pulled a tube out of his pocket. “Wade gave me this. Told me if I won’t go in the machine, I need to rub this into the burns. I can’t do my back. I guess I could ask Anders, or I may not bother. But if you wouldn’t mind, he’s not likely to do more than just laugh at me. We don’t do medical treatment if we can avoid it. As a Super Soldier, it’s a bad idea to look like you need anything at all in terms of help. We get killed for seeming weak. We may have all brought some of that with us when we left Evander. I…I was just going to ignore it.”

  I shook my head. “Come here. Where I come from, ignoring something like burns is how you get infections and die.” The thought made me look down at my arm. Still reading as one. Okay. Was I going to do this all day, every day? Worry about that number?

  He walked over to the bed and took off his shirt before he sat down and handed me the tube. Our hands touched for a second, and a jolt of awareness rushed through me. I sighed. He was warm, and that was a really nice feeling. “What happened to you?” His back was covered in burns, red, raw. He should absolutely be in a med machine. “How did this take place?”

  “The regulator blew up. I was tinkering with it. My fault. I shouldn’t be trying to push the old machines to do so much. I knew it was risky. I did it anyway, just to see if I could. And it blew.”

  I winced. That sounded painful. “I guess next time, don’t do that.”

  He laughed; it was a rich sound. I’d liked it every time he’d done it, and sitting this close to him, even more so. “The sad truth is I probably will do it again. It’s really bugging me. That should be working better than it is.”

  I squeezed some of the cream on my hand and gently placed it on on
e of the burns. He sucked in his breath, and I winced. “I’m sorry. Does that hurt worse when I touch it?”

  “No. Don’t worry. Even if it did, I’m used to pain. I always live with a little bit of it. We all do.”

  Well…I hated that. As carefully as I could, I rubbed the cream in all the places I could see, then got off the bed to go do his chest. Even though he could do his chest himself if he wanted, I needed to help. If I was this injured, I’d really want someone to do this for me. In fact, Wade had. I’d be dead without him and the others.

  Corbin’s shoulders slumped. Despite what he said, I wasn’t at all convinced that he wasn’t tired. “Healing takes a lot out of people.”

  His smile was small. “Maybe. I should go back to my room.”

  Still, he made no move to do that. I chewed on my lip. What was the right thing to do here? I’d never been around men like I had today, and certainly never touched one like I just did with Corbin. His skin where he wasn’t burned was soft. He was strong like I’d never seen anyone before, and yet, right now he seemed…needy.

  I made a decision I hoped I wouldn’t regret. “Do you want to stay in here with me? I’m new to this space travel thing, and it might be nice to have company who could explain to me if there are any weird noises or jolts in the air or something.”

  What I didn’t say, because it would embarrass us both, was that I needed a friend and it seemed to me that he needed one, too. As happy as he was, as jovial as he seemed to be compared to the others, my senses were telling me he wasn’t happy. Lonely, perhaps. Sad. Whatever he’d been through, the transition from the life he’d been living to this one had to be jolting. It was for me, and I hadn’t been made in a lab.

  How did they make babies in a lab?

  I wasn’t going to ask that right now.

  He hadn’t answered, so I spoke really quickly. “I’ve never spent so much time with men as I have with you. Ever. And I’ve never asked anyone to stay over in my room. This isn’t a thing I do. Just so you know. Plus, you should feel completely fine with the idea of saying no.”