‘Is there a reason why you decided to come here?’ she said, refusing to dwell on the thought. What difference did it make how Vincenzo looked at her? Her only concern was that he hadn’t changed his mind about them having this baby.
The thought brought a rush of heat to her face and she looked away, needing a moment to calm herself down. Every time she thought about what needed to happen if she was to have this child, she found herself shying away from it. However, she couldn’t keep ignoring the facts, couldn’t pretend that it was going to be an immaculate conception. She was going to have to impregnate herself with Vincenzo’s sperm if this child was to be born.
‘I decided it was time that I met Megan. Bearing in mind that you contacted me specifically to help her, I thought it only right.’
He gave a very Latin shrug, his shoulders moving lightly beneath his perfectly tailored jacket. He was wearing formal clothes that day—a dark grey suit teamed with a cream shirt and a grey and tan silk tie. He looked every inch the wealthy, sophisticated man she had met in Milan yet Lowri found herself thinking that she much preferred how he had looked when they had sat in the garden of the villa. He had seemed so much more approachable that day, less aloof. It had made it that much easier to understand why she had slept with him.
She drove that foolish thought from her head. Vincenzo had agreed to help her and she needed to be sure that he hadn’t changed his mind. ‘So you haven’t had second thoughts?’
‘Second thoughts?’ he echoed, his dark brows rising steeply.
‘About the baby. Because if you have, Vincenzo, then I’d much prefer it if you told me straight away rather than lead up to it.’ She stared back at him, struggling to ignore the thunderous beating of her heart. If he had changed his mind, she had no idea what she was going to do, how she was ever going to help Megan.
‘Of course not.’ His tone was icy. ‘I am not in the habit of going back on my word.’
‘Then you must be a rare sort of a man indeed.’ Lowri wasn’t sure why she’d said that. After all, the last thing she should do was alienate him. Nevertheless, the words slid out before she could stop them and she saw him stiffen.
‘Don’t judge me by your past experiences. All men are not alike.’
‘I’m sorry.’ She gave a little shrug, knowing that she deserved the rebuke. ‘I shouldn’t have said that. I apologise.’
‘No, you shouldn’t. But maybe it’s to be expected in light of what’s happened.’
His tone softened, took on a seductive note that made her skin prickle with awareness. Lowri’s breath caught as she felt it run through her, starting at the top of her head and working its way down to her toes, a sensation of light and heat and recognition that was all the more disturbing when she couldn’t recall experiencing anything like it before. Her mind was still struggling to deal with what was happening when he continued.
‘You haven’t had an easy time in the past few years, Lowri, and it’s understandable if your view of men is somewhat jaded. However, I can only repeat what I told you before: I don’t go back on my word. Ever.’ His eyes held hers fast and she found it impossible to look away. ‘I promised to give you another child and that’s exactly what I shall do, although I’ve decided that we may need to alter our plan.’
‘Alter our plan?’ Lowri repeated uncertainly. Her heart began to race when she saw the way he was looking at her. It was hard to force out the question when she had a feeling that she wouldn’t like the answer but she didn’t have a choice. ‘What do you mean?’
‘Simply that artificial insemination isn’t anywhere near as successful as the old-fashioned method.’ His eyes held hers fast. ‘If you are committed to having this child, Lowri, we need to sleep together. That will give you a much better chance of conceiving.’
CHAPTER FIVE
‘SORRY ABOUT THE delay. I couldn’t leave Theatre.’
Vincenzo swung round when a man suddenly appeared in the doorway. He heard Lowri take a deep breath and knew that she was as shocked by his suggestion as he was himself. He certainly hadn’t planned on saying that! Definitely hadn’t come here with the express intention of asking her to sleep with him. However, now that he had, he realised that it was what they needed to do.
Artificial insemination was nowhere near as effective as the natural method of conception. Although he couldn’t quote the statistics, he knew for a fact that far too many things could go wrong and adversely affect the outcome. There simply wasn’t time to waste if they hoped to help Megan so they needed to give themselves the best chance of succeeding. Even then Lowri might not get pregnant immediately. It could take several attempts before it happened. The thought made his blood heat. They might need to sleep together more than once.
Vincenzo drove that thought from his head as she turned to him. He didn’t want her to know just how much the idea appealed to him. He couldn’t afford to get too deeply involved with her, although how he was going to stop it happening in view of what he had suggested was anyone’s guess.
‘I’m sorry but I have to go,’ she said flatly. ‘Where are you staying?’
‘One of those new hotels, near the Alfred Dock.’
‘Albert.’ She gave him a quick smile and his heart lifted when he saw the amusement in her eyes and realised he was responsible for it. ‘It’s Albert Dock, not Alfred.’
‘Of course. My mistake. Mi scusi!’
Vincenzo smiled back, enjoying the fact that he could make her smile even at such a tense moment. It struck him all of a sudden that he wanted to do it again, wanted to watch her eyes light up and her mouth soften, wanted to see the strain melt from her face. He breathed in sharply, stunned that he should feel this way. When had someone else’s feelings been so important to him? Why did he care if she was happy or sad? He couldn’t explain it but he knew that he cared how she felt and that he cared an awful lot too.
‘I hope I’m not speaking out of turn but are you Vincenzo Lombardi, by any chance?’
Vincenzo looked up when the other man addressed him, although it was an effort to drag his eyes as well as his thoughts away from Lowri. ‘Sì.’
‘I thought so!’ The man laughed as he stepped forward and held out his hand. ‘Simon Rivers. I was lucky enough to hear a lecture you gave a couple of years ago about brain injuries. It was most enlightening, I can tell you.’
‘Grazie.’ Vincenzo shook his hand. ‘I assume you have an interest in neurosurgery, Dr Rivers?’
‘Very much so, although I’m not in your league.’ Simon turned to Lowri and smiled ruefully. ‘Dr Lombardi is in a class of his own, although I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that.’
The implication was only too clear. Vincenzo felt heat run through him when he realised that Simon believed he and Lowri were an item. He was about to correct him when one of the nurses came rushing into the office.
‘Can you come, Lowri? Poppy’s sats have dropped again.’
‘Of course.’
Lowri hurried out of the door with Simon Rivers hard on her heels, and after a moment’s hesitation Vincenzo followed them. They were already bent over the child when he reached the bed so he stood to one side and watched as they went through the familiar routine of checking her obs. He glanced at the monitor and frowned when he saw how low her oxygen levels were. The situation needed to be addressed urgently.
‘It looks like another bleed,’ Simon concluded. ‘We need to get her into Theatre pronto.’ He looked up. ‘I don’t suppose you’d care to observe, would you, Dr Lombardi? I would appreciate your advice.’
‘Of course. I’d be honoured,’ Vincenzo replied, and realised that he meant it too. It had been such a long time since he’d been in Theatre, far too long, in fact.
It was all systems go after that. Poppy was taken straight to Radiology and by the time they had scrubbed up, the results of the scan were up on the screen. Vincenzo nodded when Simon Rivers pointed to a darkened area that could only have been caused by another bleed. The area in question
was worryingly close to the medulla, the part of the brain that relayed signals to the muscles involved in speech. It also contained groups of nerve cells involved in the regulation of heartbeat, breathing, blood pressure and digestion. Operating in this area was always nerve-racking as there was so much at stake.
Simon wasted no time. Vincenzo stood to one side, close enough to observe what was happening and yet not so close that he would get in the way. Simon worked swiftly and neatly and Vincenzo voiced his approval.
‘Bene. It is good to have confidence in your own ability. You are less likely to make mistakes that way.’
‘Thank you.’
Simon didn’t labour the point but Vincenzo could tell he was pleased and was glad that he had complimented the younger man. It was something he wouldn’t normally have done and he found himself making a note to do it in the future. People responded far more positively to praise than they did to criticism.
It was a rare insight into his past behaviour and Vincenzo knew that he would take it on board. Maybe he was too hard on his staff and needed to lighten up occasionally. If it meant they performed better under pressure then it would be worth loosening the reins a little.
The thought lingered as the operation ran its course. By the time Simon declared that he had done all he could, Vincenzo was feeling fairly confident about the outcome. He accompanied the younger man to the changing room, shaking his head when Simon expressed his doubts about what he had done.
‘In my opinion, you did everything possible for the child. Now it’s a question of waiting to see what happens.’ He shrugged. ‘We can only do our best, Dr Rivers. No more than that.’
‘I know.’ Simon grimaced as he tossed his gown into the hamper. ‘It’s just that you always feel that you could have done more, don’t you?’
‘Sì,’ Vincenzo agreed, somewhat surprised that he should make such an admission. He never voiced any doubts about what he had done. Even when he wasn’t one hundred per cent confident about the outcome, he preferred to keep it to himself. Admitting that he had concerns seemed like an admission of failure and yet all of a sudden he was willing to concede that there had been times when he had felt that he hadn’t quite come up to the mark.
‘It’s only natural. When you care about what you do—as we both do—you are bound to wonder if you could have gone that bit further, tried that bit harder. But we’re only men, Dr Rivers. We can only do what we can and hope that it’s enough.’
‘You’re right. I know you are. I just needed to be reminded.’ Simon gave him a grateful smile and headed into the shower.
Vincenzo followed more slowly, wondering why he had opened up like that. He had never felt the need to do so before and he wasn’t sure what had brought about such a change in his behaviour. Was it because he was feeling more emotional than usual? Allowing his feelings to surface rather than keeping them safely buried?
He sighed. He knew it was true and it was worrying to face the fact that he was no longer fully in control. He couldn’t afford to relax his guard, especially now. He had to be able to take a step back, to distance himself if Lowri agreed to his suggestion about how they should conceive this baby. If he allowed himself to get emotionally involved, it would never work; he would never be able to walk away afterwards, as he had to do. After all, it wasn’t him Lowri wanted but the child he could give her. He must never forget that.
* * *
Lowri got Poppy Meadows settled and then went to find the child’s parents. Although Simon would speak to them shortly, she knew they would be anxious for news. They leapt to their feet when she opened the door to the relatives’ room and she smiled reassuringly at them.
‘Poppy’s back from Theatre. Mr Rivers will fill you in on all the details but I thought you’d want to know that she’s come through the operation.’
‘Thank heavens!’ Sarah Meadows sank down onto the couch and buried her face in her hands. Her voice was muffled when she continued. ‘I so afraid that she...she...’
She couldn’t go on but Lowri understood. She too had been in this position and knew how it felt to fear the worst. Sitting down beside Sarah, she gave her a hug.
‘It’s early days yet but she’s a tough little thing, a real fighter, and that will go in her favour.’
She looked round when the door opened, feeling her heart jolt when she saw Vincenzo follow Simon into the room.
All of a sudden she wished he had been there when Megan had been so ill. Maybe it wouldn’t have affected the outcome but it would have helped her to have him there. The thought startled her because she had never once considered contacting him. He had failed to reply to her letter informing him that she was pregnant so there had seemed no point. Now, however, the sense of loss she felt at not having been able to share the experience with him stunned her. Having a child who was critically ill brought people together, so was that what she would have wanted, to create a bond between them?
Lowri shook her head to dislodge the idea but it refused to budge. It settled into her mind and stayed there throughout the whole time that Simon was speaking to the Meadows. When he stood up to leave, Lowri shot to her feet, desperate to escape from a situation that was in danger of creating so much upheaval in her life. There was no bond between her and Vincenzo, neither did she want there to be. Especially not after what he had proposed earlier!
Lowri escorted the parents back to the unit and left them there. Simon had already left when she went back to the office but Vincenzo was still there. She paused in the doorway, wondering what she was going to do. Vincenzo was right—artificial insemination wasn’t nearly as effective as the more usual way of conceiving a child. But could she do it, could she sleep with him again to save Megan?
‘Dr Rivers is a very skilful surgeon. I was impressed by his work.’
Lowri started, only then realising that she had been standing there without uttering a word. Colour ran up her cheeks but she made herself meet Vincenzo’s eyes. She couldn’t allow her feelings to get in the way of what needed to be done. She had to concentrate on Megan and what it could mean for her if she gave birth to a child who proved to be a suitable match for her. How she felt about sleeping with Vincenzo was of very little importance compared to that.
‘He’s highly regarded by both the patients and the staff,’ she agreed quietly. She took a quick breath, needing to get everything straight before her courage deserted her. ‘How long do you plan on staying in England?’
‘I haven’t decided.’ He gave a little shrug. ‘There’s nothing urgent at home that needs my attention.’
‘But what about your work? Are you able to take time off without it causing a problem?’ she persisted, trying to stem the nervous fluttering of her heart. If he wasn’t planning to go back home once he had seen Megan then did it mean he was hoping to put his plan into action? The thought filled her with a rush of panic.
‘I’ve been off work for the past six months so I’m sure they can manage without me for a while longer,’ he said smoothly.
‘Off work!’ She exclaimed in surprise. ‘Why? Have you been ill?’
He held up his right hand. ‘I had a skiing accident earlier in the year and damaged a nerve in my arm. Thankfully, it appears to have healed but I need to be sure that I’ve regained full mobility in my hand before I return to Theatre.’
‘I had no idea...’
She broke off because there was no reason why she should have known. They had led completely separate lives for the past five years and for some reason the thought made her feel even more nervous about what they were planning. Leaving aside the matter of how this baby was to be conceived, was it right to have another child when they had no intention of raising it together? Yet if they didn’t go ahead, what would it mean for Megan? This was the best chance of providing a suitable donor for her, possibly the only chance.
‘There’s no reason why you should have known,’ Vincenzo stated coolly, and for some reason Lowri found herself taking exception to the lac
k of emotion in his voice.
‘No. I’d served my purpose, hadn’t I? I doubt if you gave me much thought after that night.’
‘I doubt if you thought about me very much either,’ Vincenzo countered. His expression darkened. ‘Did it never occur to you that your letter might have gone astray when I didn’t reply?’
‘No.’ She shrugged, refusing to allow him to make her feel guilty. ‘I naturally assumed you weren’t interested.’
‘So you never considered writing to me again?’ His tone was harsher than ever and she glared at him.
‘No. I didn’t. We had an affair, Vincenzo. A holiday romance, if you prefer to call it that, like thousands of people do each year.’ She gave a little laugh, hearing the bitterness it held but unable to do anything about it. Maybe she hadn’t expected him to be delighted by the news that she was pregnant but his apparent lack of interest had hurt. Now all the old pain came bubbling to the surface. ‘We didn’t swear undying love to each other. We just slept together!’
‘Oh, sorry. I’ll come back later.’
Lowri spun round when she heard Amy’s voice but the nurse had already hurried away. She sighed because the last thing she wanted was people talking about her. She had told no one the identity of Megan’s father apart from Cerys, of course, preferring to keep it to herself rather than become the subject of yet more gossip. She’d had her fill of that when folk had found out about Jonathan so whenever anyone had asked her about Megan’s father, she had told them simply that they were no longer together. Now she couldn’t help wondering how long it would be before everyone knew that Megan was the result of a holiday fling.
She bit back a groan as an even worse thought struck her. She could just imagine what people were going to think if she got pregnant again!
Saving His Little Miracle (Mills & Boon Medical) Page 5
