* * *
Vincenzo unpacked his case and then took a shower. Wrapping himself in one of the towelling robes he found hanging behind the bathroom door, he went back to the bedroom. The evening stretched before him and he had no idea what he was going to do to pass the time. He had intended to invite Lowri out for dinner but it hadn’t seemed like such a good idea in the end. She’d seemed very upset at the thought of the other nurse overhearing their conversation and he couldn’t help wondering why. Was she ashamed of the circumstances that had led to Megan’s birth?
He sighed. He had never thought about the impact it must have had on her life to find herself pregnant by a man she barely knew. It must have made the situation all the more difficult for her and he couldn’t help wondering why she had decided to keep the baby. Lowri could have had the pregnancy terminated and he would have known nothing about it. Was that what he would have preferred?
He sat down on the bed, trying to work out how he felt. He had never wanted children yet the thought that Megan might never have been born hurt. It tugged at emotions he hadn’t known he possessed, struck deep into a place he had never visited before. He had never met the child, had only seen photographs of her, and yet he realised with surprise that he cared about her. He genuinely cared.
The sudden trilling of his mobile phone cut through his musings. Vincenzo picked it up, his heart hammering when he recognised the number as that of the lab where he had taken the DNA samples. ‘Lombardi,’ he said curtly, holding his breath as the caller identified himself and then gave him the results. ‘Grazie,’ he murmured before he broke the connection.
Tossing the phone onto the bed, he went to the window and stared out across the steel-grey waters of the river Mersey. The tests had confirmed that he was indeed Megan’s father and although it was only what he had expected, it still came as a shock. Closing his eyes, he let the full import of what he had heard sink in.
He was a father. He had a child, a little girl who desperately needed his help if she was to survive. All of a sudden, Vincenzo realised that nothing mattered more than that, that it made no difference how hard it was for him: Megan’s needs took precedence. Maybe he hadn’t planned on being a father but that’s what he was and what he intended to be too—with or without Lowri’s approval.
His mouth thinned as he moved away from the window and started to dress. He had a feeling that Lowri wouldn’t be happy about the idea of him playing an active role in his daughter’s life but there was nothing he could do about it. He intended to be a proper father to their daughter and a proper father to this new baby they were planning to have as well. They were his flesh and blood, they carried his genes and he would make sure they bore his name too!
* * *
Lowri had just got Megan settled in front of the television when the doorbell rang. Leaving the sitting-room door ajar, she went to answer it. Megan had been very fretful since she had brought her home from Cerys’s house and Lowri wasn’t sure what was wrong with her. Not even the prospect of choosing the much-anticipated wig had cheered her up.
Her heart caught as she unlocked the front door. The consultant had warned her about the need to be on her guard. Megan was highly susceptible to any kind of infection at the present moment and she could only pray that it wasn’t that. It would be too cruel if Megan ended up back in hospital when she had only just been allowed to come home.
‘Buona sera, Lowri.’
Lowri started when she found Vincenzo standing on the step. ‘What are you doing here?’ she demanded, her tone less welcoming than it might have been. However, bearing in mind what had happened earlier in the day, she felt she could be forgiven for not welcoming him with open arms.
‘I came to see you. And Megan, of course.’
His tone was bland yet Lowri sensed a certain nuance in it that made her heart race. She had a feeling that there was more to this visit than he was prepared to admit and it was unsettling not to know what exactly was going on.
‘Now really isn’t a good time, Vincenzo,’ she began, then stopped when a small voice piped up.
‘Who is it, Mummy? Is it the lady with my wig?’
Lowri turned, her heart aching when she saw her daughter standing behind her. Even though Megan had lost all her hair during her treatment, the resemblance between her and Vincenzo was so marked that it was impossible not to tell that she was his daughter. Vincenzo must have noticed it too because she heard him draw in his breath.
Lowri glanced at him, feeling tears spring to her eyes when she saw the expression on his face. That he was deeply moved by his first sight of their child wasn’t in doubt and something inside her seemed to open up at the thought. For five long years she had tried her best to blank out the memory of that night. Now she realised that it would be impossible not to think about it.
She and Vincenzo had made love that night and by doing so they had created this precious child, a child who desperately needed their help if she was to survive. While she had always been prepared to do whatever was necessary to save Megan, she had never expected that Vincenzo would feel the same.
She bit her lip as a wave of panic washed over her. Maybe the situation hadn’t changed; maybe it was still the same in many ways. However, knowing that Vincenzo cared what happened to Megan made a world of difference to how she felt about him. If she did agree to his proposal then making love again with Vincenzo wouldn’t be merely a means to an end. It would be so much more.
CHAPTER SIX
‘YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL, tesoro.’
Vincenzo smiled at the little girl, surprised by how easily the endearment had slid from his lips. He had expected to feel awkward around her, ill at ease even. After all, he’d had very little to do with any children apart from during the course of his work. However, it was proving surprisingly easy to relate to her. Despite the fact that Megan was still rather fragile following her treatment, she had an innate sense of fun, which he found truly delightful. Now he tugged playfully on a bright pink strand of the wig she had chosen.
‘You look like a real princess now.’
Megan laughed happily as she picked up the mirror and studied her reflection again. Vincenzo sighed as he watched her admiring herself. Maybe pink wasn’t the obvious colour to have chosen but it seemed to have made her extremely happy and that was all that mattered.
‘She really loves it, doesn’t she?’
He glanced round when Lowri came back from seeing the wig fitter out, his heart aching when he saw the expression on her face. She had been through so much in the past year and it was understandable if she found this a highly emotional moment. Without pausing to think, he reached out and squeezed her hand.
‘Sì. It may not be the colour we would have chosen but it makes her happy and that’s what counts most, isn’t it?’
‘It is.’ Tears welled in her eyes. ‘There was a point when I didn’t think I’d ever hear her laugh like that again.’
‘It must have been horrendous for you,’ he said gruffly. He wasn’t used to dealing with all the emotions that were swirling around inside him and he found it hard to achieve the right balance, if he was honest. He rarely allowed himself to empathise with other people yet it was proving impossible to remain detached in this instance. After all, this was his daughter they were discussing and that made a world of difference, as he had discovered.
‘It was. But it was much worse for Megan.’
She took a shuddery breath and withdrew her hand. Vincenzo managed to curb the urge he felt to reach for it again, only for his own benefit this time. He had no right to expect sympathy from her, no right to expect anything at all. Lowri had been through one of the worst experiences any parent could go through and she’d had to go through it on her own.
Maybe he wasn’t to blame when he hadn’t known that he had a child yet he couldn’t help feeling guilty. It made him see that the decision he had made to be a proper father to Megan and the new baby had been the right one. He couldn’t simply walk away,
couldn’t leave Lowri to cope on her own—it wouldn’t be right. Now all he had to do was to convince her.
Vincenzo’s heart sank at the thought. He didn’t say anything as Lowri excused herself and took Megan up to bed. How could he convince her that he was to be trusted? How could he make her understand that he genuinely wanted to help? They knew so little about each other and it was only natural that she should be wary of his motives.
Maybe they didn’t know a lot about each other but there had been a real connection between them that night they had made love.
His breath caught as the truth hit him squarely in the chest. He had felt things for Lowri that night that he had never felt for any woman, including his ex-wife. That was why he had gone to such lengths to forget about her afterwards. He had been afraid of what it had meant, afraid of all the feelings she had aroused and where they could lead.
He frowned. How did he feel about her now? He tried to work it out but it was impossible to make sense of all the emotions that were whirling around inside him and he sighed. It was more important than ever that he understand exactly what he was dealing with. Once he announced his decision to play a role in Megan’s life there would be no going back. He would have to keep his word no matter what happened between him and Lowri.
* * *
Lowri closed the bedroom door then waited for a moment to make sure that Megan really was asleep. She sighed as she made her way downstairs. All the excitement had worn her out and she could only hope that it hadn’t been too much for her. She didn’t want anything to hinder her recovery, to set her back. She wanted Megan to regain her strength because it would help when she underwent the stem-cell transplant.
Lowri bit her lip as she stepped off the last tread. She was putting the cart before the horse because there was no chance of Megan having the transplant unless a suitable donor was found. It made it all the more imperative that she and Vincenzo carry out their plan and yet she felt more nervous than ever about it. Something had changed. Vincenzo had changed. And she was no longer sure what she was dealing with.
She squared her shoulders as she opened the sitting-room door. Even if the situation had changed in some way, the fact remained that Megan’s best chance of making a full recovery was by undergoing a transplant. The sooner she and Vincenzo made a start on making it happen, the better.
‘Is she asleep?’
‘Yes.’ Lowri shrugged with feigned nonchalance. She had never expected Vincenzo to visit her and to have him here in her home made her feel very on edge, especially in view of what he had suggested earlier about them sleeping together. The thought sent a rush of heat through her and she hurried on. ‘She took longer to settle than usual because of all the excitement, I expect.’
‘Choosing the wig obviously meant a lot to her,’ he agreed with a smile that tugged at her heartstrings in a way she didn’t welcome.
She didn’t want to feel any kind of connection to him. Certainly didn’t want to get emotionally involved with him. When Vincenzo returned to Italy, she didn’t want to be left with regrets. She just wanted to be pregnant with his child!
The thought was too much to deal with and she jumped to her feet. ‘Would you like a drink? I’ve a bottle of wine in the fridge if you’d care for a glass.’
‘Grazie. That would be very nice. We shall be able to celebrate the news I received earlier this evening.’
‘Oh. What news was that?’ Lowri asked uncertainly.
‘The DNA results have confirmed that I am Megan’s father. That is something to celebrate, sì?’
‘I...ehem. Yes, it is.’
Lowri dredged up a smile before she hurried from the room. She took the wine out of the fridge then took a deep breath. Now that they had proof of Vincenzo’s paternity, it was time to get down to the nitty-gritty and work out exactly when they were going to sleep together. Vincenzo was right, of course, because there was a far better chance of them conceiving a child naturally. Time was of the essence and she had to set aside any doubts she had and agree. Even so, she might not get pregnant straight away; it could take more than the one attempt, in fact.
Lowri groaned as she put the bottle and the glasses on a tray. That was something else she needed to think about. How many attempts would it take for her to get pregnant? And was she prepared to sleep with Vincenzo not just once but possibly several times?
Her hands were shaking as she carried the tray into the sitting room and set it down on the old toy chest that doubled as a coffee table. Picking up one of the glasses, she filled it with wine then handed it to Vincenzo and sat down before her legs gave way. It could take months before she got pregnant, dozens of occasions when she would need to sleep with him. Even if she ignored the logistics of making it happen, with her living in England and him living in Italy, was she really prepared for that?
‘What’s wrong?’ His voice was low but Lowri heard the concern it held. It surprised her so much that she found herself blurting out the truth.
‘I may not get pregnant straight away even if we do opt for the more natural method of conceiving.’
‘Of course. These things rarely happen on demand, or so I’m led to believe.’ His smile was cool but the awareness in his eyes filled her with heat. ‘We may need to sleep together more than once, Lowri.’
‘I...I just realised that.’
Lowri bit her lip, terrified that she would say something far too revealing. The thought of sleeping with Vincenzo again and again made her feel very odd. It would be that much harder to erase him from her life afterwards. That much more difficult to forget him and yet that was what she would have to do. Once they had achieved their objective, he would return to his world and she would remain here; their paths wouldn’t cross again. The thought was oddly distressing.
‘If you have any doubts about this then say so, Lowri. I wouldn’t want you to go ahead and regret it later.’
The harsh note in his voice made her eyes fly to his face and she was shocked by the hurt she saw there. Vincenzo was always so cool and aloof that she hadn’t imagined her unease would have an effect on him but it obviously had. She hurried to speak, wanting to reassure him that she still believed it was the right thing to do, but he beat her to it.
‘I know we aren’t in love with one another but we have a child and we both want to do what’s best for her. However, it would be intolerable to carry out this plan if one of us has misgivings. If you’ve changed your mind, Lowri, say so.’
‘I haven’t,’ she began, then stopped. All of a sudden, she knew that she couldn’t lie. It wouldn’t be fair to him or to this child she hoped to conceive. ‘It’s not that I’ve changed my mind exactly. It’s just that I never really thought about what it might entail.’
‘You mean us having to sleep together,’ he said bluntly, and she flushed.
‘Yes.’ She gave a little shrug. ‘I thought it would be easier if we used artificial insemination. After all, I had no idea if you were in a relationship and it didn’t seem right to create problems for you.’
‘I’m not in a relationship, so there’s no need to worry about that, I assure you.’
‘No.’ Lowri grimaced. ‘However, it doesn’t alter the fact that I hadn’t expected this. It’s...well, it’s a lot to think about, quite frankly.’
‘Especially when you have no idea how long it will take before you get pregnant?’
His tone was bland yet Lowri could feel her heart thumping. She sensed that her answer was important to him even though she wasn’t sure why. Vincenzo had agreed to have this child because it could help Megan. As a doctor, it was important to him to do whatever he could to help save a life. However, she doubted if he was emotionally engaged in any way. The thought steadied her.
‘I suppose so, although I have no intention of allowing that to stop me.’ She looked him straight in the eyes, praying that he couldn’t tell how nervous she felt. However, the last thing she wanted was him backing out because he thought she had developed cold feet.
>
‘If it takes one attempt or a dozen, Vincenzo, I still want to go ahead. This baby is Megan’s best hope of being cured and I’ll do anything to make that happen!’
* * *
Vincenzo picked up his glass and took a mouthful of the wine, hoping it wouldn’t choke him. He knew he was being ridiculous but it hurt to know that Lowri viewed making love with him on a par with some sort of highly distasteful experience.
He put down the glass, recalling how she had responded to him that night in Milan. She hadn’t appeared to find his lovemaking distasteful then, he thought bitterly. Far from it. She had been as eager for his touch as he could have wished. He was used to women who thought like he did, women who viewed sex as just another physical need, an appetite that needed satisfying at regular intervals. Lowri’s response had been very different, though.
She had given herself to him with a generosity that still surprised him even now when he thought about it. She hadn’t tried to disguise her feelings, certainly hadn’t feigned a world-weary cynicism like so many of the women he had slept with had done. She had responded with an honesty and a passion that had stunned him at first and delighted him later.
As for him, well, he had responded very differently to her too. For the first time ever, he realised, he had completely let go. He had forgotten that he was a top-flight surgeon, ignored the fact that his family had held a position of power for hundreds of years. He had been simply a man making love to a woman he had wanted: a woman who had wanted him too.
‘Have you eaten yet?’
His head spun as thoughts whirled around inside it, so that it was a moment before he realised that Lowri was waiting for him to answer. He cleared his throat, struggling to control the alarm he felt. He had wanted Lowri that night, wanted her more than he had wanted any woman before or since. It was little wonder that he felt so confused.
‘No. It was too early for dinner when I left my hotel.’ He gave a little shrug, affecting an insouciance he wished he felt. However, he refused to let her know how disturbed he felt. He didn’t want anyone to have that kind of power over him, to influence his thoughts as well as his feelings. Like Lowri did.
Saving His Little Miracle (Mills & Boon Medical) Page 6
