by Alex Rosa
I pull away briefly. “How so?”
“Being yourself and confident. It’s hot.”
Now that isn’t something I can argue with. I lift my face up the few inches to his, kissing him to say thank you. It’s the only way I can. Little does he know I don’t think many people have called me confident, let alone have liked me as myself. Hell, I’m rarely comfortable being myself.
I lift my arms, wrapping them around his neck, bringing him closer. He returns the motion with equal fervor as he presses his lips harder into mine and takes a firm grasp against my hip. I can feel his growing erection against my thigh.
“Again?” I breathe.
His smile against my lips never fails to satisfy, and triggers that ever-present lust.
“Yes. Again.”
Chapter 25
I fiddle with a dishcloth as I watch the door to the café, eager for Tucker to come into work. I have the morning shift today, and his is the midday, which means I’ve been waiting an excruciating length of four hours for him to appear.
The annoying jingle fills the quaint café, and sure enough, my good friend, prompt and perfect, walks in.
“Hey, Tucker!” My voice comes out a little too squeaky, and he eyes me as he walks around the counter toward the back room.
He smiles. “Well hello, Skyler.” He pauses before walking farther, looking around the counters. “Why is this place so spotless?”
I go wide-eyed as I look around, realizing my nerves went thermo-nuclear OCD as I waited for him to arrive.
I shrug. “It was dirty.”
He squints. “Are you feeling okay, Skye?”
“Peachy,” I blurt out. “Just peachy. Just doing my job.”
He shakes his head as he restarts his journey to the back room. “Uh-huh. That’s why I’m asking if you’re feeling okay.”
Once he’s out of view, I roll my eyes. Glad I can always count on him to be himself.
I reach for my third latte and peer at the time. It’s nearing one o’clock and I wonder if Blake is home.
Last night I fell asleep in Blake’s arms. When my eyes blinked open, I was shocked to find Blake wrapped around me like a victory flag, humming contently in his slumber. I took advantage of the moment and examined the Greek lines of his face, realizing I find him almost more of an enigma than when I first met him. The more time I spend with him, or the more he tells me, only adds to the mystery, and I turn up my nose snootily, thinking, that is so like him. Blake is an iceberg, and I am barely breaking the surface.
Regardless of how perfect it felt to be next to him, I knew it was too intimate. Our agreement didn’t cover tender embraces or sleeping over. That was when I needed to distance myself emotionally. I had stealthily squirmed out of his grasp, put my clothes back on, and stole one final gawk before running back to my room undetected.
Blake can’t wake up next to me. I can’t wake up next to him. It isn’t something we are, and I don’t think it’s something I’m looking for.
“Skyler, you better spill the beans on what the hell is going on, because I know something is up. You never clean.”
I leap at the sound of Tucker’s voice as he walks from the back area, attaching his nametag to his shirt. I feel an explosion of words coming, and as I open my mouth, my grin takes over. The unfortunate truth is, I know he’ll be proud.
“I . . .”
“Excuse me. Can I get some help please?”
I whip my head around to find a waiting blonde, leggy and annoyingly pretty. I turn to Tucker, who shrugs, meaning I have to do my job.
“Sure.” I approach the register. “What can I get you?”
“Just a small black coffee, thanks.”
“No problem. Your name?”
“Marguerite.”
I peer up and look at her features, examining her crisp hazel eyes and high cheekbones, her flawless skin. This can’t be . . . ? No, I’m being silly.
I shake my head, thinking myself ridiculous. “I’m sorry, what was your name again?”
“Marguerite. With an e at the end.”
My brows pucker at her tone, and I realize my chest is clenched tight.
There is no reason to overreact. There are tons of Marguerites in LA, right?
I scribble her name on the cup, finding that my glee is slipping away.
“Marguerite, has John called you yet?”
Distracted by another female voice, I notice a brunette join her.
“No. The asshole knows better after our argument.”
“Excuse me. Can I please get my coffee?”
I’m still gaping at her. I shake my head, “Absolutely. I’m sorry.” I fill the cup and hand it off to her.
As I watch her stroll out of the shop, I’m baffled by the effect of the whole thing, and that renders me speechless.
“So, dish. What do you want to tell me?”
I turn around, my eyes on the floor as I get a grip on what that was I just felt. “I’m not sure I want to talk about it now.”
“Oh no, darling. You’re not getting out of it that easy. You were excited two seconds ago. Obviously this is big. Does this have to do with Blake?”
My eyes fly up to lock with Tucker’s.
“Because I saw him yesterday,” Tucker adds.
“W-what? Yesterday?”
Tucker looks damn proud as he leans against the counter, taking great joy in my frantic tone. He waits a moment for me to calm before answering. “He came in around nine asking if you were working. I figured he might know your work schedule since you two are roommates, but it was a silly assumption.”
I paw the floor with my foot, trying to pace myself with my inevitable freak out. “What did he say?”
Tucker bites the corner of his lips. “Nothing. He just wondered if you were here, and I told him you weren’t working. He told me not to let you know he stopped by, but obviously that wasn’t going to happen. He kinda seemed like a lost puppy, but damn, he’s still easy on the eyes. Please tell me there’s a backstory.”
The girl from before has left my mind as an insignificant memory, and I now feel the familiar flutter within my gut.
“I can’t tell you unless you promise to keep your lips sealed. Your track record isn’t too good.”
Tucker guffaws. “Would you prefer me to be more your friend, or Blake’s friend?”
“Uh, mine of course!” I sputter at the audacity of the question.
“Well then, I told you because I would tell you. We’re friends here, and my lips are sealed. Now dish!”
I look around the café, making sure no one is lurking or listening, and then I blurt it out. “I did it. I did what you told me. I am in a noncommittal sexual relationship with Blake.”
Tucker laughs first. “Only you could make friends with benefits sound technical!”
My eyebrows furrow.
“Oh, c’mon Skye, don’t be so uptight. You know I couldn’t be prouder. Tell me he’s amazing. Oh, God, tell me that piece of ass is incredible.”
“Incredible would be an understatement, actually.”
Tucker leans against the counter, humming. “I never knew I could be so jealous of you heteros.”
I giggle and lean against the opposite counter. “Heteros? Really, Tucker?”
“Yeah, heterosexuals? I guess it’s about time you got some, though. I’m glad to hear he seems to be meeting expectations.”
I smile, finding that even my words wouldn’t do my satisfaction justice.
“So how did this happen? It must have been at your party. I kinda sensed something then.”
I tense, thinking that if Tucker had noticed, others had, too, but I push the nerves aside, basking in the one conversation I haven’t been able to have. I’ve never done anything like this.
“I’ve been on edge since he kissed me, but the party is where everything happened.” I’m tempted to tell Tucker about Jason’s apparent girlfriend being there, but I don’t want to put effort into that memory, and brush the fact
aside.
“You had sex at your party?”
Heat rushes to my face, and I’m too embarrassed to answer the risqué question aloud, but I nod.
“You slut!” he shouts with a wide mischievous grin, and sure enough the café patrons around us stare.
“Tucker, would you shut up!”
“But I mean it in a good way!”
This is where I can return the sassy favor from before. “Only you can make being a slut sound acceptable.”
He rolls his eyes. “Please, Skyler. Okay, I want more details. Have you done it more since then?”
My teeth clamp down on my bottom lip, as I’m sure I’ve gone from a rosy pink to scarlet in a nanosecond.
“You double slut!” he shouts, laughing.
I turn around, pretending to wipe down the already spotless counter, but sure enough, Tucker is at my side, taking the hint.
“Okay, I’m seriously desperate for details. So what’s going on?”
I shrug. “We’re just fooling around. We decided.”
“You’ve talked about it? Like what you’re doing?” His confusion peaks at every word.
I shrug again. “Sure, we’ve discussed it, and it’s been decided that we’re using each other for sex. He can date, I can date, and it’s whatever . . .”
Tucker relaxes against the counter, looking away, staring off into space as if truly comprehending my words before swinging his stare back to mine.
“I don’t know if it’s genius or dumb, but again, leave it you to lay out the rules and regulations. I hope the sex isn’t as uptight as you are.”
I jab him in his gut with my pointed finger. “Be nice! I’ll have you know that I’m most definitely turning over a new leaf. He makes me different. Spontaneous, even. I mean, with someone like that, it’s too tempting to resist, don’t you think?”
“Who are you and what have you done with Skyler?”
“Why are you being so mean?”
“Mean? I’m proud. And you’re right; tempting indeed. So was he okay with laying it all out? The rules.”
“Well, I’ll have you know that he was the one who laid it all out there. I think it’s because he feared that, due to my inexperience”—saying that part stings just a little bit—“I could get hurt. But more than anything, I’m sure his intentions were selfish.”
“How curious. Who decided you could see other people?”
“That was my doing. I had to show him I could do it. Plus, I’m not ready to send Rich packing yet, and Blake lives a lifestyle I don’t want to hold back.”
I worry that my words aren’t as convincing as I would like when I watch Tucker’s brows furrow again. “Are you saying he’s sleeping with other girls?”
My lingering smile falls as my gut swells with nerves. “I don’t know, but he can do whatever he wants.”
Tucker tilts his head to the side. “Are you sure about that, darling? You aren’t falling for him, are you?” His tone is teetering on patronizing and it makes me feel uneasy.
“Why do you say it like that?”
“Because that look you just gave me makes me worry. And I say it because I care. I don’t want you hurt, no matter how proud I am that you’re allowing yourself to let loose a bit.”
His sincerity is sobering, and I try taking it in with a deep breath.
“That’s actually why I wanted to talk to you about it. I was going to keep it a secret otherwise.”
Tucker guffaws for the second time today. “You were going to keep this from me? You’re practically glowing like the effing sun from all the sex you’re having. I had a hunch you were getting laid, but I wasn’t sure if you just finally gave it up to Rich.”
I roll my eyes, deciding to skip over that topic for now. “Tucker, please just hear me out. I’m talking to you about this because, well, I don’t know. I’m excited, exhilarated, liberated, and happy, I guess. I just worry it’s all too good to be true.”
“Do you ever get jealous?”
I chew my lip, and I know being honest is the only way to calm my nerves. “I have my moments, but so does he. He doesn’t say it, and obviously neither do I, but he hates Rich with a burning passion and says things about him that are obviously meant to deter me, but he usually recovers and shrugs it off.”
“Hmm, typical. You don’t think he’s falling for you?”
My face pales, and my heart rate picks up.
“I never considered that, but I don’t think so. I feel like I would be able to tell.”
“Are you falling for him?”
Suddenly that beating life force in my chest feels like it’s trying to escape as it thumps against my rib cage.
“No. I don’t think I am. He’s obviously not the right type of person for me. I mean . . .” I pause, needing to take in another breath. “Right?”
“Uh-oh, darling, are you sure you don’t have feelings for him?”
I hum over the thought, dissecting all those uncomfortable feelings, and I come to an unfortunate conclusion.
“We have sex. We talk on occasion, but I worry that’s all he wants from me, and because of that, I say no. But am I having fun? Absolutely. Does he kinda make me melt? Well, yeah. But other than that, I don’t think so. Sometimes I worry I do, but I can’t.” I pause another beat, clawing at my chest as I repeat more crisply, “I just can’t.”
Tucker stares back at me. His eyes glimmer wickedly, and him scrutinizing me from head to toe does not go unnoticed before his face cracks into a smile. “Just go with it, Skyler. It couldn’t hurt.” His words are surprisingly smooth.
“But you just said—”
“Forget what I said. Do yourself a favor and ride the wave. Maybe you’ll get hurt; maybe you won’t. You could come out unscathed and sexually satisfied. With an option like that, and with a guy like him, just go with it.”
I absorb his words, trying to soak them in, finding they only fuel that growing bad side. Because of that, I take it in stride, basking in its possibilities. I grin a devilish grin, and I know I took this look straight from Blake’s repertoire. “He said he’s mine for the taking. I can have him whenever I want.”
Tucker’s eyes widen. “Damn, just when I thought he couldn’t get hotter. Well, ride that wave, Skye, and ride it long and hard.”
My eyebrows twitch in mock disgust as I toss the dish towel at him. I walk across the back area, seeking a beverage to wet my dry mouth.
“Tucker, jeez!”
His chuckles have me turning around.
“Sorry, sorry. You know what I mean. What’s he doing right now?”
“I don’t know. I was thinking about that. I think he’s home.”
“You should just take that bull by the horns, and show him who’s boss.”
“What are you saying?”
“I know I keep saying it, but I think this is good for you, and in a nutshell, I’m saying use this whole Blake experience as a tool. Use him, demand him, just as he’s suggested. I just think it would do you good to give yourself some sense of control when it comes to your personal life. I feel like, since I’ve met you, you’ve been at the whim of others. Even with this Blake thing. He propositioned you; he tempted you first. Well, now you have this incredibly hot-packaged gift, and I say use it your advantage. What harm could it do if you went home and demanded him right now on your terms?”
My lips purse into a hard line before rising upward in a Grinchlike smile. The idea is tempting. On my terms? It’s true. Every occasion has been initiated by Blake. Every single one. Even though I trekked to his bedroom in the middle of the night, he was the one who baited me into it. I almost feel cheated of my spontaneity. My throbbing libido clenches in delight at the idea of having it my way.
As if struck by an epiphany, I pull out my cell phone and dial a number, bringing the ringing phone to my ear.
“What are—?” Tucker asks.
I hold up my hand to halt his words as the person on the other end answers.
“Hi, Rich. Yea
h, I’m fine. Work has been a bit crazy, as usual. . . . Yeah, you too? Uh-huh. . . . That’s what I’m calling about, actually. I can’t study tonight, but I have another offer. . . . Just hear me out. Will you be my date this Saturday night? We’re going out to that nightclub again. I’d like you to be there. . . . Yes, I’m serious. Pick me up at nine? I’m glad that it makes up for my flakiness. I look forward to it. See you then. Bye.”
I hang up my phone, grinning like an idiot, and Tucker shakes his head as he sways his hands disapprovingly in front of him.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you doing?”
“I canceled my study sesh with Rich and invited him out with us on Saturday.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m off work in five minutes, and I’d like to go home, and—how did you put it?—oh yeah, grab the bull by the horns.”
“Oh darling, you’re playing with fire. You know that, right?”
“What do you mean?”
“What is Rich in the grand scheme of things?”
“He’s the one keeping me grounded.”
Tucker can’t help his haughty tone as he places a hand on each hip. “What? I’m sure he wouldn’t be too pleased to find out what you’re doing.”
“He sleeps with Heather. We aren’t together. If anything, this keeps the playing field fair on both ends. I better get going.”
Tucker sighs and takes in a deep breath. He watches me clock out of work.
“I get it. I do, but be careful. There seem to be a lot of hearts involved.”
I take off my apron, tossing it aside as I grab for my bag. “Hearts, Tucker? I don’t think any hearts are involved. Whose emotions are at stake? Everyone in this situation is disconnected. Blake shouldn’t care. I don’t care. And for now, I can spend my time with Rich, and he doesn’t care, either.”
I feel impatient, teetering on perturbed, but anxious with anticipation nonetheless as I leave. I think I hear Tucker mutter something under his breath, and I worry I’m not supposed to hear, “That’s where I think you’re wrong.”
Chapter 26
When I pull into my driveway, my body is brimming with a new sense of excitement as I spot Blake’s car. I think I know what I’m doing. I’m eager to capture Blake’s attention. I can’t remember the last time a boy held my attention so completely.
