by Lila Mina
Their car came to a stop in the parking lot of the hombun dojo.
“Inoue shihan’s office is in the second building on your right, on the third floor. You only have five minutes left to be on time. We will continue our conversation afterward.” Honda’s voice was flat, his face unreadable.
Lana sighed. Conversation? More like a monologue, but whatever, oh you king of avoidance. “You shouldn’t wait, I’ll get a taxi.”
“Go,” he muttered, staring straight ahead. Lana glared at his profile, his strong jaw clenched with anger; she was torn between a fiery desire to kiss him for a rough make-up session and slap his head in frustration. Or maybe both. At the same time. Words kept failing them, but other things didn’t.
And he’s thinking the same thing because we’re too similar for comfort and isn’t that just fucking wonderful.
21 Crushed by Duty
Lana jogged to the four-storey building then up the stairs; an opened door waited for her.
“Come in,” invited Inoue following her soft knock. “Ah, Martin san. Welcome, thank you for coming. Please take a seat.”
She went to the chair he pointed at to find herself subject to the silent treatment of his open scrutiny. The only sounds came from the short hand of the wall clock ticking the seconds away and the muted noise of traffic outside. Inoue was his usual controlled self but as time stretched, Lana struggled against a pressing need to do something with her hands and feet. She put all her energy in focusing on a tea stain on the coffee table between them, her clammy palms flat on her knees.
At last, her grandmaster granted her respite.
“Martin san, what a… difficult situation you find yourself in.”
A polite way to call this mess.
Lana gave him a deep bow. “I apologize for all the inconvenience it causes.”
“I dare say you are the one who must bear it, more than anyone else. Is this in fact your decision?”
Lana glanced up and locked eyes with the elder man. There had to be no doubt. “It is. I welcome this wonderful news and will handle it, with or without support, whatever… hurdle might be thrown my way.”
Face unreadable, Inoue cocked his head. “Hm, and no regret at all?”
Her smile turned small and wistful. “Only because of the break I must now take from regular practice.”
“Indeed. I was looking forward to evaluating you. Next year then. This is not a problem. There is no deadline, it’s a long road that everyone takes at their own pace.” He turned silent again. “Is there anything else you would like to tell me?” His stare bore into her skull and this time, her legs began to fidget.
The hell? He’s the one who asked me to come.
“Uh…no, dojo-cho. Only that I am grateful for Honda sensei and his wife’s support.”
Eyes narrowed, lips pinched, Inoue looked almost disappointed. “Hm, it makes sense that both welcomed the news. Well, then, if there’s nothing else…”
Relieved, Lana rose on her feet to take her leave but then stopped in her tracks.
It’s a wild shot, but…
Hesitant, she sat back on her chair, searching for the right words. “Ah, my apologies. Yes, there’s one more thing, but it’s a delicate matter…” Inoue’s quirked eyebrow and his intense gaze pushed her to jump in. “About my role in Honda sensei’s household. Some things have come to light. Let’s say that key aspects were left out at first, but I understand why.” A deep breath. “Forgive my bluntness, dojo-cho, but do you really have all the facts?”
Her question was so vague, it was ridiculous. But how else was she supposed to probe the guy if he wasn’t aware of the whole story? Inoue’s stern glance turned into a piercing laser beam that seemed to read her innermost thoughts.
Lana gulped, but didn’t look away. She challenged his bluff. Even Honda believed his mentor to be ignorant.
“You are blunt but thank you for opening this door. Let me push it wide open for you. Yes, I know the real reasons for Honda san’s erratic behavior, and his need for increased… help. I am relieved he decided to be honest with you and commend you for staying at his side, nevertheless.”
Even though she had suspected it, it still came out as a shock. “Why… why do you let him think you aren’t aware of it? And what about the danger for Yuki sama? You were the one pushing for their union, right?”
His second eyebrow joined the first. “Is this what upsets you the most? Their welfare? Not the world-changing perspective all of this implies for you? Not the additional risks you face?”
A scowl on her face, she threw the man a harsh glare of her own. “Oh, I’ve got plenty of reasons to be upset, all right. As far as I am concerned, it’s mine and Honda sensei’s problem, and we’ve already had many discussions. But with all due respect, how could you let them waddle into this on their own? You are his mentor, he looks up to you. And Yuki sama… she is his wife! Why didn’t you warn her before their wedding? You made a big fuss about my consent — what about hers? And yes, this is my business because I care for her, too.”
“I can see that, and so much devotion fills me with great joy and relief. Believe it or not, their wellbeing is my top concern. Martin san, you need to understand it’s not my place to tell her, but his. In any case, you will never be privy to certain things. Accept it.”
Lana bit her lip; his stonewalling was so frustrating. Lies, deceptions, half-truths, hidden agendas... When will it end?
“I need to ask you something else. How did you know about Honda sensei? And what should he do to heal?”
Inoue’s deep growl reminded her it was no regular elderly grandpa who sat on the other side of the low table. “Again, Martin san, this is not for you to learn and not for me to disclose. But do you honestly think I would have kept the solution from him if it were in my possession? That I would have let him suffer and endanger others?” Ashamed, Lana shook her head. “I know what ails him, what caused it, and what he requires to endure it. But the solution remains a mystery,” he added, his tone softer and wistful. “In your new condition, aren’t you afraid of being unfit to fulfill the duty you have accepted?”
His line of questioning threaded into a territory that was way too personal to her taste. Tired and feeling sassy, Lana crossed her arms over her chest.
“The short answer is no. The long answer? There are things you will never be privy of, dojo-cho, and this includes the details of our arrangement. Please accept it.”
His lopsided grin told her he hadn’t missed how she had thrown his line back at him.
“I guess Honda san required at least that level of spine and nerves to meet his needs. Don’t you fear for your health and safety?”
Her exasperation rose to dangerous levels. “There are things out there that are much scarier and challenging than attending Honda sensei.” Her dark glare was met by steady eyes that deflated her annoyance. Glancing away, she wet her lips, unsure how to voice her next question. “Dojo-cho... do you know anything regarding my predicament?”
Quick as lightning, Inoue snatched her chin. “Your predicament? What are you talking about? Do you have similar issues?”
“Not like him. At least, I don’t think so. Who knows if my ability to handle him is fully mine or not. I have no idea. But we believe he’s not the only one who was marked. Too many coincidences. I can see things… my impossible, unexplainable pregnancy...” Lana shrugged. “Oh, well. I hoped you had some insight.”
Inoue remained silent. His grip turned painful as his eyes scrutinized her. “I lack the specific skills to confirm whether you are another victim of foul play. But if I learn anything, I will let you know.”
Anger flaring again, Lana recoiled to free herself. “Why tell me, but not him? Please! Show him that at least someone else has his back!”
“No. He must not find out. You will keep this to yourself, do you hear me?”
“Another lie, then! I… I just can’t. My apologies. This is beyond what I can handle.”
“M
artin san!” Voice booming in the room, he jumped on his feet. She scrambled up on hers. “This is a road he must travel alone. With Yuki san and now you at his side, as far as you agree to, as long as you are willing to endure it. Again, your consent is primordial, regardless of any outside influence. Revealing that others know and keep an eye on him will make matters worse!”
A sob of frustration shook her. “Why tell me the truth then? Why not continue lying and spare me from this impossible position? Do you have any idea how lonely I feel? I can’t tell Yuki sama anything. I must lie to my best friend and all others who worry about me. And now I have to keep key facts from the single person who can relate, facts that concern him directly?”
Inoue’s face turned into a stone mask cut by sharp blades. “We all have to carry secrets, Martin san, and none of us are free to do what we like. Sometimes the truth has unbearable consequences. Do not play with fire out of pure selfishness or emotional needs. Rise above those considerations. This is not a game, and you do not have the full picture. Be loyal and mindful of your duty!”
Lana forced herself to draw deep breaths, lest she exploded. Careful now, you need him on your side, don’t make this man your enemy.
Her bow was stiff but low. The bare minimum but still appropriate. “My apologies. I have taken already too much of your time. May I be excused?”
Inoue stared at her for another lengthy moment then gave her a short nod. “Yes, you should go home. Thank you for coming tonight. It was a difficult but important conversation. I hope that with time, you will understand my position.”
Jaws clenched, Lana bowed again and briskly walked out. Outside the room, she took the time to get herself together before walking down the stairs to the parking lot. She wasn’t surprised to see Honda waiting for her, his back against the car, staring at the asphalt.
“Goshujin sama, a taxi would have been fine…”
Honda didn’t bother with a reply and quirked an eyebrow. “This lasted much longer than expected. Any particular concern or difficulty? Did Inoue shihan give you a hard time?”
Keeping smooth face was a struggle. “Ah, well. For sure, he’s worried about my condition, given our circumstances. He also cares about you and Yuki sama. We had a… candid discussion.” And that’s the understatement of the year.
The piercing look Honda threw her made her gulp nervously, but he let it go before she could start sweating for real.
“It is getting late. Are you hungry?”
“I’m famished! I can’t wait to fix myself something when we get home.”
“No, let’s go somewhere around here. Yuki is out with her kendo group and knowing those ladies and their love for karaoke, she will not be back before early morning. How about yakitori? There is an excellent place one block from here.”
“Isn’t it… a little too public?” They would have no privacy or separate rooms in this kind of joint, specializing in chicken-based skewers grilled on charcoal.
With an aggravated head shake, Honda headed for the exit of the parking lot. “If needed, we will introduce you as my uchi-deshi. And if people want to draw their own conclusions, it is of no concern to me. I am tired, hungry, and we both deserve a break. Let’s leave the car here.”
They crossed the street and walked to the restaurant. “Lana san, I had time to reflect on what you told me on our way here. While it is challenging to curb my expectations and immediate reactions, I see your point. I do not wish to make things even more difficult for you. I will attempt not to overreact if… when… I witness similar behavior.”
Floored by his concession, Lana almost stumbled on the walkway. Do pigs have wings now?
“Er… well, thank you, it’s much appreciated. On my end, I’ll do my best to adapt, depending on the circumstances.”
Honda gave her a curt nod. The matter was settled.
22 Webs of Lies
They arrived in front of a typical small yakitori place. A purple noren — a piece of tissue bearing the name of the restaurant — was suspended at eye level in front of doors made of wood and glass. Two tall red lanterns, proclaiming the type of cuisine offered by the establishment in bold brush characters, hung on each side of the entrance. They stepped inside and the staff’s traditional shout of welcome greeted them, along with the mouthwatering smell of grilled meat.
“Irraisshaimase! Oh, good evening Honda sensei. Long time no see,” a tall and broad-shouldered man, in his forties, exclaimed. “How many people tonight?”
“Good evening, Shirakawa san. Two people, please. Counter seats are fine.” The cramped joint was packed with a dozen of patrons.
The chief cook pointed at the left corner of the counter bar running along the central grill where high flames roasted rows of small juicy skewers. Lana’s rumbling stomach reminded her she had skipped lunch and was in dire need of food.
“How long has this place been around?” Lana wondered as they sat down; the yellowed pictures hanging on the wall showed a neighborhood from a long-gone era.
“Since right after the war. The master is the second generation of owners, but he’s getting old and only works during lunch time. His son here will take over the business, in three or four years. I used to come here every week when I trained at hombu dojo, but now maybe only once a month. Try their bacon and tofu skewers. The best I have ever had, and they have managed to keep the same recipe all these years.”
“I’ll go with four of each, plus a handful of those delicious chicken thighs, and okura wrapped in bacon… and oh yes, two grilled onigiri. Feel free to order a beer or two, I’ll take us home,” Lana added while wiping her hands with the cold wet towel the staff handed her.
Honda pinched his lips. “Hm, really? Can you drive in Japan? You are not used to the left side of the road, are you?”
Lana scoffed. “I have an international license and spent one year in the UK during my postgrad years. I’m an excellent driver. But you don’t know this because you always take the wheel. Don’t be afraid for your car, I’ll be extra careful and gentle with it! By the time we’ll get home, you’ll ask me to drive you around.”
Eyes sparkling, he took his keys from his shirt pocket and handed them over with a chuckle. “All right, all right, I am willing to give you a trial run. But only because it gives me the chance to have a drink, mind you.”
After the evening’s tension and stress, seeing him smile in such a carefree manner and play along with her easy banter made her heart skip two beats.
Feeling victorious, a wide grin on her lips, she accepted the keys with exaggerated care. He snorted at her antics and playfully slapped her knee under the countertop. His quiet mirth made his face even more handsome. A furious blush reddened her cheeks. Pretending to look for her smartphone, she dove into her handbag to hide it.
“Ahh… well, thank you! Enjoy your beer then, I’ll have iced oolong tea, please.” With any luck, the surrounding noises hid the quivers in her voice.
Giiiiirl don’t go there… Who is he, but the father of your baby and the owner of the hottest body you’ve ever touched, the only guy who knows how to play you like a fiddle... Gosh, arguing is so much easier than this not-really-a-date-we-are-not-a-couple thing!
To her relief, Honda got busy handling their order, and missed her troubled composure. Checking her phone, she couldn’t help a sigh; no message from Gabriella. For the fourth night in a row.
Sadness replaced her rush of emotions and this time, Honda caught her change of mood.
“Anything wrong?”
Lana hesitated at first but decided to be frank. “Hm, since last Sunday, things have not been so good between Gabriella and me. We’re both busy, all right, but until now, we’ve never spent so many days in a row without communicating or catching up at work. She’s still upset, and I can’t reach out to her properly.”
“So religious reasons were not her only problem?”
Lana grimaced and took a sip of her oolong tea. “No. She wasn’t so excited I told you my full s
tory. But the basic issue has been the same since… you and I started seeing each other seriously.” A deep breath. “She worries about what she calls the increasing ‘imbalance’ in our relationship. According to her, I’m bending backward in ways that are out of character for me, and that you get to decide too many things for me. Well, she doesn’t have all the facts, so I can’t tell her why I’m willing to oblige… up to a certain point. But she’s angry with me and infuriated with you.”
“I see…” Honda turned somber, and Lana missed his relaxed and content mood. “Well, I respect she cares a lot about you and is protective. Given what you went through together, I cannot find any fault in this and I am glad you have someone like her in your life. Such loyalty and devotion are precious, so make sure to mend things between the two of you. Now… are you considering telling her everything?”
Lana did a double-take and scoffed, chewing on her food. “No! Certainly not as long as Yuki sama doesn’t know,” she added with a pointed stare, and this time his eyes narrowed.
“We talked about this.”
“Yes, and we’ll wait… until I don’t know when, but I accept it’s your call, because you promised we would. But Gabriella, without any physical evidence, she’ll reject everything I’ll tell her and blame you for it. So, no. Not now. This tofu is delicious by the way.”
Honda grunted and gulped down two more skewers before ordering another beer. After a lengthy silence where both enjoyed their dishes, he sighed and crossed his arms on the counter.
“Do you understand why I want to protect Yuki from what we are facing, at least for a little while longer?”
