Believing in Tomorrow

by Kimberly Rae Jordan

  Her mom gestured to the bag. “Did you do some shopping?”

  “Yes. Levi took me to a maternity store at Polo Park. He said he’d realized that I was bearing the brunt of the pregnancy expenses, so he wanted to help out. He took me to pick out some clothes and then he paid for them.”

  “Really?” Her mom looked surprised then pleased. “I’m glad to hear that. He sounds like he’s willing to step up and help out.”

  “He is.” Sammi wanted them to see that she and Levi were taking steps to be responsible for the baby.

  “Why didn’t you bring him in?” her dad asked.

  “I’m not sure yet that he’s ready to meet everyone,” Sammi said, though, in fact, she was fairly certain Levi would have agreed if she’d asked him to come in. Maybe she wasn’t ready for that just yet. “Maybe next time.”

  Her parents looked at each other then her dad gave her a quick nod. “Maybe we can arrange a time to meet him.”

  “Sounds good,” Sammi said even though she wasn’t sure it did. “In the meantime, I need a nap. I didn’t get much sleep before leaving for the ultrasound, and I’m exhausted.” She got to her feet and picked up the bag of clothes. “I’ll see you later.”

  Once up in her room, Sammi took a few minutes to look over the clothes again before hanging them up in the closet. With tired movements, she changed into a pair of sleeping shorts and a tank top. As she crawled between the sheets of her bed, she had a moment of wondering—and wishing—that she and Levi had a conventional relationship as parents. But she knew she couldn’t allow those thoughts to linger. She needed to be able to interact with Levi without things becoming awkward between them. It was bad enough that she had the knowledge of having been intimate with him, even if she didn’t have a clear memory of it.

  Still…would she be normal if she didn’t wish that she was facing this pregnancy with a husband instead of a co-parent? However, there was not enough wishing in the world that would change things. All she could do was pray that she and Levi managed to become good parents to their little girl.

  “A girl, man?” Henry said when he called later that night. “What are you going to do with a girl?”

  “No idea. Never had a sister, and clearly, I don’t know how to deal with my mom. And let’s not forget that I couldn’t even manage to hang on to a fiancée.”

  “Oh, dude, that was on her, not you. That showed more of her personality flaws than it did yours, so don’t think that is a reflection on you.”

  Levi knew that Henry had to say that since his loyalty lay with Levi and not Caren, but it still felt good to hear. “Thankfully, the baby has helped to distract me from that situation.”

  “Has Caren been in contact with you?” Henry asked.

  “Nope. Davy hasn’t even called me. I think he’s reserved his calls from jail for my mom. Things she’s said on occasion have led me to believe that he calls her on a regular basis.”

  “Well, I say focus on your daughter and don’t waste your emotional energy on the people who aren’t interested in being a positive part of your life.”

  Levi knew that Henry was only trying to encourage him, but there was no way he could turn his back on his mom. With Davy in jail, there was no one left to care for her but him. He had never been one to renege on his responsibilities, and he wasn’t going to start with his mom.

  After another trip to see his mom on Saturday, Levi had to fight discouragement where she was concerned. He tried to ignore her words—the jabs she took at him—but it was so hard. They left him feeling rather worthless, and as if he wasn’t important to anyone.

  All that kept him from crashing into a despondent mood was his routine and the knowledge that he did have people who relied on him even though it wasn’t on a personal level. Even with Samantha, he knew that she would be fine without him in her life. What he lacked in family, she had in abundance. What he lacked in support, she had aplenty. He realized that a good chunk of his motivation to buy her clothes after the ultrasound was to make himself part of the pregnancy. Part of her life. If only for a moment.

  He’d just put the last of his groceries away when his doorbell rang. Not really wanting to have to deal with anyone but unable to ignore the knocking that followed, Levi walked from the kitchen to the front door. He pulled it open to see a distinguished older gentleman standing on his small covered porch.

  “Levi?” At his nod, the man continued. “I’m Steve Callaghan.”

  Levi froze, his stomach knotting as he realized just who stood on his porch. “Samantha’s father.”

  “Yes. May I come in?”

  “Of course,” Levi said as he stepped back to let the man into his house. He was grateful that he was pretty good at keeping his place clean, not wanting to give Samantha’s father any reason to find fault with him.

  “Would you like a cup of coffee?” Levi offered.

  Mr. Callaghan—he couldn’t bring himself to think of him as Steve—seemed to consider it for a moment before nodding. “That would be nice. Thank you.”

  Levi led the way to the kitchen. “Please, have a seat.”

  The man sat down on the stool at the island counter that divided the kitchen from the dining room. Levi was glad that he’d learned to operate under duress so that while he might have uncharacteristic nervousness on the inside, his hands were steady as he took a mug from the mug tree that was next to the Keurig. All he had was regular coffee, so he hoped that the guy didn’t want the fancy stuff.

  The silence in the room was heavy as he prepared the coffee then slid it across the counter to Samantha’s father. “Would you like cream or sugar?”

  “Black is fine,” he said before lifting the mug to take a sip.

  Levi decided to make a cup for himself as well. Once his coffee was ready, he picked up the mug with both hands and turned back to the man sitting at his counter, his gaze following Levi’s movements.

  “Is there something wrong with Samantha?” he asked, the idea slowly occurring to him as he took in the serious expression on the older man’s face. “Is the baby okay?”

  “They’re both fine.” Samantha’s dad took another sip of coffee. “I hear you were at the ultrasound.”

  “Yes. Samantha asked me if I wanted to go with her, and I did.” Levi stared at the man for a moment. He didn’t want him to think he was cowed by him, even though he kind of was. “How did you find my place?”

  “I saw your company name on your truck when you dropped Sammi off. It didn’t take much to find your address from that.” He looked right at Levi. “Is it a problem that I’ve come?”

  “Not at all. I was just curious if Samantha had given you my address.”

  The man’s gaze darted away from Levi for a second. “She doesn’t know I’m here.”

  Levi wondered how Samantha would feel about that. “Is there something in particular that I can do for you?”

  “We’ve been waiting for Sammi to introduce you to the family, but she has seemed reluctant to do so. It made me a bit curious about you.” He took another sip. “What I’ve found out about you seems to be favorable.”

  Levi didn’t know why the man’s words settled something within him, but they did. He wanted his daughter’s mother’s family to accept him. It would make the years ahead much easier.

  “If you have any questions, I’d be happy to answer them.” Levi had nothing to hide—though he’d really rather not have to talk about Davy and that whole situation.

  “What are your intentions toward Sammi?”

  Levi had been lifting the cup to take a sip of coffee, but he lowered the mug back to the counter. Was this man expecting him to marry his daughter? “I intend to support her through her pregnancy and then co-parent with her as best I can once the baby is born.”

  “So you’re not planning to marry her?”

  “No.” He paused, frowning. “Were you hoping that I would?”

  “Actually, no. I’m relieved to hear that you’re not.” Mr. Callaghan shifted on h
is stool.

  Levi gripped his mug, trying to fight the feeling that once again, someone was finding him lacking in some way. Did the man not think he was good enough for his daughter? Would he try to interfere with Levi’s attempts to be there for Samantha and the baby?

  “I don’t believe that two strangers marrying will make this situation better. Especially since, from what Sammi has said, you don’t share our faith.” The man paused. “Having said that, I am pleased that you still want to support Sammi when a lot of men wouldn’t. I won’t stand in the way of that, but I would caution you to not discuss marriage with Sammi. She’s had her heart broken recently, and I don’t think a marriage without love would be a good thing for her right now.”

  Levi thought the man was being rather presumptuous, but at the same time, now that he knew that he was going to be a father to a daughter, he could understand his protective instincts. “That was never part of the plan. I do hope that we can become friends, at least. It will make parenting easier than trying to do it as strangers.”

  “I agree. And we’ll all be there to help too.” He took a sip of coffee. “Do you have family that will be involved?”

  “I’m afraid not. My mother is in a care home. She was in a car accident several years ago and ended up a quadriplegic, so she won’t be able to be involved very much.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that.” His blue eyes narrowed. “No father or siblings?”

  Samantha’s dad was certainly pressing his luck with his questions. “My father left when I was thirteen. My younger brother isn’t really in my life at the moment.”

  The man seemed to consider his words. “You are more than welcome to be part of our family gatherings, if you’re interested. At some point, it would probably be a good idea for you to meet the whole gang. I’m sure Sammi has warned you that we can be a bit overwhelming.”

  “Yes, she has, but that doesn’t scare me off.” Levi said the words, hoping that they would prove true in the coming weeks and months.

  “Good.” He drained his mug then got to his feet. “I’m sure Sammi will be livid that I’ve come around, but I’m glad I had the opportunity to meet you. To be honest, it has helped to put my mind at ease, and now, hopefully, I can do the same for my wife.”

  Levi followed Steve Callaghan to the front door, standing on the porch with him for a moment. “I appreciate you stopping by.”

  The man grinned, his features relaxing for the first time since arriving at Levi’s door. “I’m sure that’s not entirely true, but I hope you understand that this visit was motivated by love and concern for Sammi and the baby.”

  “I do understand that.”

  “Good. Hope to see you around the house soon,” he said before heading down the steps to the truck that Levi had seen parked out at their home the day he’d picked Samantha up.

  Once the man had left, Levi headed back into the house, still a bit surprised at the visit and what had transpired with Samantha’s father. It had left him with mixed feelings. Happy that the man didn’t seem to outright reject him, and yet sad that while he was accepting Levi as the baby’s father, he didn’t seem to think Levi was good enough to marry his daughter. Which was ridiculous since he hadn’t had any plan to pursue marriage with Samantha, so it shouldn’t have mattered that Samantha’s father didn’t want them to get married.

  But Levi knew he couldn’t dwell on that. He had other things to focus on—just like he’d been doing before Steve Callaghan had shown up on his doorstep. Making sure he was there for Samantha. Continuing to care for his mom as best he could. And working hard with his business, providing not just for himself, but for his employees. Lots of people needed him—maybe not on the level he wanted—but regardless, he had responsibilities that he wouldn’t step back from just because they weren’t exactly how he wanted things.

  What he’d wanted had rarely played into his life. More often than not, it had been what he’d needed to do more than what he’d wanted to do. This situation with Samantha and the baby would be no different. He would be relegated to whatever role Samantha wanted him to play. Short of taking them to court for legal custody, he would have to take the time she offered rather than the time he would have wanted with the baby once it was born. All he could hope was that Samantha would eventually see that he was a good father, and that she would trust him with their child.

  That was why he was going to do his best to show her that he could be a good support and provider even before the baby was born.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  “You. Are. What?” The incredulity was strong in Amy’s voice. “Hang on. Let me check the calendar. Is it April first?”

  If only. Well, no that wasn’t really how she felt. Wishing her pregnancy was just a joke would mean wishing away the little life that was growing within her, and that felt wrong. The baby hadn’t contributed at all to the mistakes that had led to Sammi’s pregnancy. Sammi knew that she needed to remember that, especially as she began to get looks of censure from people at church.

  “It’s not April first, Aim.” Sammi pulled her legs up but then found it wasn’t comfortable now that she had a growing bump in her stomach. Instead, she crossed her legs and leaned back against her headboard. “Are you coming home soon?”

  Amy sighed. “No. I signed another six-month contract. Well, I will be home for a bit of a break, but then I’ll be back up here.”

  “Will you make time to see me?” Sammi asked, rubbing her stomach lazily.

  “Are you nuts?” Amy asked with a laugh. “Of course I’m going to see you. I need to make sure you’re not just trying to pull one over on me.” She sighed again. “I sure wish I’d known about this before signing another contract. I’ll be up here when your baby is born. Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

  “I didn’t tell anyone for the first three months,” Sammi replied. “Just in case…you know.”

  “Were you hoping to miscarry?” Amy asked, her voice soft.

  Sammi wasn’t surprised that Amy broached the question. After all, she would understand why Sammi might feel that way. They’d both sat through the saving yourselves for marriage discussions in their youth group. The constant reminders that purity was one of a Christian girl’s best virtues.

  She didn’t want to have to answer the question, knowing it would make her appear horrible and heartless to say yes even if Amy understood where it came from. But if Sammi was to be honest, yes, she had…well, maybe hoped was the wrong word…especially after seeing the devastation Makayla had experienced after her miscarriage. However, there was no doubt that miscarrying would have solved the problem of people finding out what she’d done that night with Levi. But here she was, the baby still doing well, as of her last appointment, and she didn’t think about it anymore.

  But Amy was her best friend—holder of many secrets—and Sammi knew that of all the people in the world, she would be the least likely to judge her. “Yes. At first, because of the circumstances. It would have made things easier.”

  “So you wouldn’t have told Jayden about the baby?” Amy asked. She’d been aware that Sammi and Jayden had slept together even though she’d cautioned Sammi against it. Amy had never been a Jayden fan.

  “The baby isn’t Jayden’s.”

  There was silence on the other end of the line. “Not Jayden’s? I know I’ve been busy, but we have talked these past few months. You never mentioned another boyfriend.”

  Sammi repeated the story once again, patiently answering all the questions Amy had. Giving more information about it to Amy than she’d given to anyone else.

  “So will I be able to meet him when I’m down there next?”

  “Uh, I suppose so. I mean, we’re not dating or anything. It’s not like you’d be meeting my boyfriend.”

  “I know, but he’s still a part of your life, so I want to get to know him.”

  “Okay. I’ll see what I can arrange.”

  “You need to send me a picture of your baby bump. I still can’t quite bel
ieve you’re pregnant.”

  Sammi laughed. “It’s becoming more and more noticeable.”

  “Has Jayden seen it yet?” Amy asked. “He might suspect that it’s his.”

  Well, that wasn’t something that had occurred to her. Surely Jayden could figure out for himself that there was no way he could be the baby’s father since she’d be much further along if that were the case. “I haven’t seen him since we broke up. I’m not spending much time at church, and I go to the early service now. He has always preferred the later one.”

  “He’s such a jerk,” Amy declared. “You know I never really liked him.”

  Sammi let out a long breath and then laughed. “Yeah, I know. Feel free to tell me you told me so. I will accept it from you.”

  “Oh hun, I really didn’t want to be right. I’m so sorry that I was, but maybe there’s someone better for you.”

  “That wants to take on not just a single mom, but one who makes spectacularly bad decisions? Who got pregnant after getting drunk and having a one-night stand?” Sammi swallowed hard. “This was never how I believed my future would unfold. The gift I was supposed to save for my husband is gone…given to a man who lied to me. Then instead of dealing with the breakup like a sane person, I make the decision to get drunk and then I compounded it all by sleeping with a stranger. I’m such an idiot.”

  “You made some mistakes, sure, but—”

  “I went against everything we’ve been taught, Amy. I had sex outside marriage. I got drunk. Then had sex outside marriage again only that time with a stranger. Things we’ve been taught are sins. And now this baby is my consequence. The loss of the future I’d dreamed of is my consequence.”

  “I firmly believe that only God gives life, and for some reason, in the midst of all the mistakes you made, He created a life in you. That little one might feel like a negative consequence, but maybe, it will bring you more joy that you can imagine.”

  “She.”

  “What?”

  “The baby is a girl.”