Believing in Tomorrow

by Kimberly Rae Jordan

  A few days later, Sammi steered her car into the parking lot of the care home where she worked. Though technically her two weeks leave wasn’t up until Monday, when another nurse had called the day before to see if she’d cover her Saturday afternoon/evening shift, Sammi had agreed. She was feeling better, and she figured she might as well take the extra work, considering she could use the money. It wasn’t often she worked that particular shift, so she hoped that it wasn’t too busy.

  “Hey, Sammi!” one of the nurses called out as she walked into the building. “How’s it going?”

  Sammi paused to chat with her for a few minutes before heading into the staff room where she hung up her coat and put her purse in her locker. The day, though sunny, held a chill that required she wear a coat. It was a clear reminder that fall had arrived, and winter was just around the corner. She was going to have to invest in either a larger size jacket or a maternity one. Already the jacket she wore was getting snug around her stomach, and she still had almost four months left in her pregnancy.

  Back at the main desk, she listened as the nurses from the previous shift brought the incoming staff up to speed on the residents. Sammi was glad to have something else to focus on. In the days since her evening out with Levi, he’d texted her a few times, and they’d talked on the phone once. She knew he had been busy, especially since the weather had been nice, but she wished for another chance to spend time with him.

  Maybe she should see if he wanted to go to church again the next day. Of course, there would be no family dinner following the service because her mom was still in the hospital. They’d thought she might be home already, but the doctor had wanted to keep her in through the weekend. Come Monday, however, if everything remained stable, her mom would be coming home.

  Once the shift change was complete, Sammi headed down the wide hallway to check in on the residents she was responsible for during her shift. It was different interacting with them while they were awake. Since her normal shift was overnight, usually the residents were sleeping when she was working. She found she enjoyed being able to chat with them, though some were friendlier than others.

  The hours passed quickly as she dealt with the needs of those under her care. Some of the residents would go to the small dining area for their meals, but others stayed in their rooms. She finished helping the last of the residents with their meal and then took her own break. It was amazing how quickly she’d gotten used to a life of leisure, so to speak, during the last two weeks.

  It was a relief to get the lunch that she’d prepared for herself and sit down at the table in the staff room. Though she was tempted to take off her shoes, she knew better than to do that because her feet would swell, and she’d never get them back on again.

  After she’d finished her break, Sammi went back to work, checking in on her residents. She was in one of the rooms helping the woman move from her wheelchair into her bed when she heard movement behind her at the door of the room. Turning, Sammi froze when she saw Levi standing in the doorway, a bouquet of flowers in his hand.

  They stared at each other for a moment. He appeared to be as surprised to see her there as she was to see him. She glanced back at the woman in the bed, puzzle pieces quickly falling into place. Donna Weston was Levi’s mother.

  “I didn’t know you worked at this care home.” Levi approached the bed. “I’ve never seen you here before.”

  “Well, you know I usually work the ten PM to six AM shift.”

  “You know Levi?” Donna asked from where she lay on the bed. “How do you know my son?”

  Sammi wasn’t sure how to answer Donna. Had Levi told his mom about her coming grandchild yet?

  Levi moved to the table next to the window and removed the flowers that were in the vase there and replaced them with the ones he held.

  “Is she another ex-girlfriend? Like Caren?” The woman’s gaze dropped to Sammi’s stomach. “Looks like she moved on from you quick enough. Did you tell her what you did to your brother?”

  Levi dropped the withered bouquet into the garbage can near his mother’s bed then turned to face her, his hands on his hips. “No. She’s not an ex-girlfriend, but she is the mother of my child.”

  Donna’s jaw dropped as her gaze moved between them. Sammi felt tension rise in the room, and she had no idea if she should say anything. Hearing the clear derision in Donna’s voice for her son hurt Sammi. She might not have known Levi for long or very well, but she knew that he didn’t deserve how his mother was speaking to him.

  “You’re the father of her baby?” Donna’s voice was loud and harsh. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  Levi sighed as his head dropped forward, his gaze aimed at the floor. Sammi waited for him to say something, aware the tension between mother and son was growing. She couldn’t stay in the room for much longer since she had other residents she needed to tend to, but she didn’t want to leave Levi alone to deal with this.

  Finally, with a sigh, Levi lifted his head and looked at his mom. “I didn’t think you would care. You’ve basically ignored anything I’ve tried to tell you for the past few months. Why would this have been any different?”

  Donna frowned at his words, her gaze darting to Sammi’s briefly before looking back to her son. Her expression morphed into anger. “You know why I have been upset with you.”

  Silence fell between the two of them. Knowing that she couldn’t ignore the rest of her residents, Sammi stepped to Levi’s side, gripping his forearm gently. When he looked at her, she smiled up at him.

  “I have to go help the other residents. Can we talk later?”

  His fingers briefly brushed against hers where they grasped his arm. “Call me when you’re done work.”

  “I will.” She turned back to Donna. “If you need anything more, just press the call button.”

  Donna didn’t acknowledge her remark other than to nod once. After giving Levi’s arm a single squeeze, hoping that he understood that she was there for him, Sammi turned and left the room. Though she was grateful to be free of the tension, she felt bad about abandoning Levi to his mother’s anger.

  She supposed it wasn’t too much of a surprise that Levi’s mom was in her care home. It wasn’t like there were a ton of care homes in the city, but it still had been a shock. Perhaps it was selfish of her, but Sammi was glad that when she resumed work the following week, she would be back on the night shift. She was also going to have to talk to her supervisor about her connection to Donna. Most likely, Yvette would make sure that the residents assigned to her for her shifts wouldn’t include the woman.

  Sammi didn’t see Levi exit his mom’s room, so she had no idea how long he ended up staying after she’d left. She did, however, hear the nurses at the desk giggling and chatting about Levi and how cute and charming they thought he was, and how they wished they could get together with him.

  A surge of jealousy caught Sammi off-guard. She had no claim to Levi, and she had to stop herself from looking at those nurses and seeing them as someone who could possibly be someone Levi would date. There was always a chance that Levi would find someone he wanted to marry, and that woman would become a part of her baby’s life too. She pressed a hand to her belly, feeling her little girl move. Swallowing against the tightness in her throat, Sammi left the desk and walked down the hallway to do another check even though she’d just done one. She just couldn’t stand there listening to the women talk about Levi like they were.

  Levi put the last of his groceries away, his thoughts still on the conversation he’d had with his mom earlier that evening. That conversation had been exactly why he hadn’t yet told her about Samantha being pregnant. He’d known she’d take something that he was coming to view as special and wonderful—maybe even the best thing in his life—and tarnish it with her anger and judgment.

  There had been little conversation following Samantha’s departure from the room. Escape, more like it. And he could hardly blame her for wanting to escape. He just hoped that his mot
her didn’t somehow make her working conditions difficult. Hopefully, Samantha would be on the night shift again when she returned to work, and so she wouldn’t have to deal with his mother too much.

  He’d just finished changing into a pair of flannel pajama pants and a long sleeve T-shirt after his shower when his phone rang. Since it was a little past ten, he knew it was Samantha, so he answered it without hesitation.

  “Are you home already?” he asked when he heard her voice.

  “No. You’re keeping me company on my drive home.”

  Levi found that he liked that idea and settled back on his bed, eager to talk with her. “How did the rest of your shift go?”

  “It went fine. I’ll be glad to get back on nights again though. It won’t be as taxing as the earlier shifts are, which is something I’m going to appreciate now more than ever.”

  “Are you going to be able to work? Are you sure you’re up to it?” Levi asked.

  She gave a weary laugh. “I don’t really have a choice. I have to work.”

  Levi hated to hear her sound so tired. “Could you get a doctor’s note or something? Go on sick leave?”

  “I’m not sick, Levi. I’m pregnant. Barring something like bleeding or high blood presssure, a doctor isn’t going to give me a note to go on sick leave just because I’m pregnant and tired.” She sighed. “Unfortunately.”

  “Did my mom give you any hassles after I left?” Levi asked, a little worried about what might have happened between the two of them.

  “She was fine,” Samantha told him. “Once she was in bed, my interactions with her were fairly limited. I just checked in on her a couple of times, and the last time I went into her room, she was asleep already.”

  “And she didn’t try and talk to you about the baby?” Levi found it hard to believe that his mother would have just left it at the conversation he’d had with her.

  “All she asked me was when the baby was due, so I told her.”

  “Okay. Well, I hope that she doesn’t give you any trouble.” Levi wandered back into the kitchen and grabbed a can of soda and a muffin that he’d bought earlier. “Let me know if she does.”

  Samantha was quiet for a moment before she said, “I’m really sorry that your mom is treating you in such a hurtful way. You don’t deserve that at all.”

  Levi slumped down on a stool at the counter. He hadn’t needed someone to tell him he didn’t deserve how his mother was treating him. He knew that—he really did—but somehow hearing that from Samantha was like a soothing balm over the wound his mother had left on his heart.

  “She’s been very angry with me. I’m not sure she’ll ever not be angry with me again,” Levi confessed, voicing the fear that had taken root ever since the first time he’d spoken with her after Davy’s arrest.

  “Why do you continue to go see her? If she’s that angry with you, why would you take the time to visit her?”

  Levi sighed. “She’s my mom. And it’s just me and Davy. Since he can’t go see her, she would have no visitors. I figure that maybe she’ll see visits from me as better than none.”

  “Oh, Levi.” Samantha’s voice was soft and sad. “I’m sorry that she’s made you feel that way. I admire you for continuing to care for your mom even though she’s treating you like this. Not everyone would do that.”

  “She’s my responsibility,” Levi said. “And I love her.”

  “You take that very seriously, don’t you?”

  “What? My mom?”

  “All your responsibilities,” she said. “Your mom. Your business and your employees. Even your brother—from what you’ve said.” She paused. “And the baby.”

  “She is by far my favorite responsibility,” Levi said with a smile. “I wouldn’t have imagined I’d want a baby right now, but honestly, I can’t find it in myself to regret her.”

  Samantha didn’t respond right away, and Levi sensed that she might have a few regrets about the baby. He understood that she came from a much different background than he did. Pregnancy outside of marriage wasn’t a big deal in his world, while he was well aware that it was something very much frowned upon in her circles.

  “I…I don’t regret the baby or wish her away, but I do wish the circumstances had been different.”

  “You mean that you were married to Jayden before getting pregnant.”

  “No. Absolutely not. Yes, I wish I’d been married first, but no, definitely not to Jayden. At least not knowing the type of man he is now. What if we’d gotten married before he’d gone on the trip to China, and then he’d met Autumn? Would he have come back to divorce me? I’m actually glad that it happened the way it did with him. Now, anyway. While it hurt at the time, in retrospect, I can see that it was the best thing.”

  “But are you wanting to get married?” Levi stared down at the muffin, half-crumbled in its paper lining. “Do you want us to get married?”

  He wasn’t sure if the silence that followed his question was from shock or if she was truly considering his question.

  “You don’t love me,” she finally said, her voice soft. “And we’re basically strangers.”

  “Are we really?” Levi asked, not even sure how to respond to her first statement. “I don’t think that we are. At least not anymore.”

  “I don’t understand.” She hesitated, and Levi wasn’t sure if she was waiting for him to clarify what he’d said. He hoped that wasn’t the case since he wasn’t sure what to say. “Are you suggesting we get married?”

  Levi thought about the conversation he’d had with Steve Callaghan and how, at no time in his contact with Samantha, had marriage ever been mentioned. It didn’t appear to be something that her family wanted, but what did she want? He’d been focused more on what her dad had said and the fact that no one had mentioned them marrying. What if it was something she wanted? Would he be willing to take that step?

  Truthfully, Levi had no idea if he really wanted to get married. Yes, he had been prepared to take that step with Caren, but given how things had turned out with her, he was a bit gun-shy now. Not that he thought Samantha and Caren were anything alike, but he and Samantha really didn’t know each other all that well yet. Maybe they had become friends, but to make the leap to spouses seemed to be asking for trouble.

  Not to say he wasn’t feeling things for Samantha that might be more than just friendship, but he wasn’t sure that it equalled marriage.

  “No. I’m not suggesting that.” Because he really hadn’t been—at least not seriously—but if marriage between them was something she wanted, he needed to know that.

  “Okay.” The single word seemed packed with meaning that Levi couldn’t begin to understand. “Anyway, I’d better go.”

  Levi frowned as she attempted to shut down their conversation. “Uh, before you go, I was thinking of going to church again tomorrow. Will I see you there?”

  There were a couple of beats of silence before she said, “Yes. I’ll be there.”

  “Okay. See you then.”

  “Yes. Goodnight, Levi.”

  Before he could say anything else, the call ended. He stared at his phone for a moment. Had she wanted him to suggest marriage for real? With a frustrated growl, Levi crushed his now-empty soda can and flung it into the garbage can next to the fridge. If that was what she wanted, now things were going to be awkward between them.

  He knew that communication was important, but it seemed impossible for them to voice what they were really thinking. Part of that—for him—was that he didn’t really know what he was thinking. He had so many thoughts going around in his head, so many things that required his time and attention. That was no doubt true of Samantha too, but they couldn’t keep having their conversations end on awkward notes.

  Did he want marriage? Maybe…if the circumstances were different. If he didn’t feel like Samantha might be marrying him just to get out from under the unwed mother label. He cared for her, and he thought maybe she cared for him a bit too, but would it be enough?


  Frustrated with himself, with his mother, with Samantha, and with her family, Levi stalked around his house, shutting off the lights and locking up. Clearly, he had relationship issues. Every significant relationship in his life had turned sour. Was this with Samantha destined to end the same way?

  As he crawled into bed, Levi resolved that that would not be the case. He would go to church the next morning and then, hopefully, Samantha would agree to go out with him for lunch afterward—if the Callaghans weren’t having a family dinner.

  Communication was the key. That’s what he’d read, anyway, and it was something he hadn’t always done well with Caren and previous girlfriends. He might not have a romantic relationship with Sammi, but their relationship as co-parents still would require them to be able to talk to each other without awkwardness, so for the sake of their daughter, he was going to do what he could to strengthen communication between the two of them.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  Sammi pulled into her parking spot at the house and gathered up her things. The moon hung full in the cloudless night sky, bringing with it a cooling of temperatures. A rush of cold air greeted her as she got out of the car. She drew the edges of her jacket closer, trying to cover her belly as she hurried up the steps to the front door. Inside, she was glad to find her dad in the kitchen, since she was not terribly eager to be alone with her thoughts and the memory of her recent conversation with Levi.

  “How was Mom?” Sammi asked as she poured a glass of milk. She grabbed a cookie from the cookie jar—ones that Danica had made the day before—and sat down in the breakfast nook across from her dad.

  It was hard to see how much her dad had aged in the past couple of weeks. The strain of nearly losing his wife and then seeing the changes and struggles she faced had taken a huge toll on him.