Her Man Behind the Badge

by Stella Bagwell

  “Where’s Raine?” she asked. “Asleep in front of the TV?”

  “No. He’s asleep in bed. Lassie was just about to save the day when I noticed he was out like a light, so I carried him to bed. And put his badge on the chest of drawers with his arrowhead,” he told her.

  “Thank you. That was a nice thing for you to do,” she told him. “So was giving him the badge. How did you manage to have an extra one? I’m assuming they’re not something that’s often handed out.”

  Connor shrugged. “You’re right, they aren’t. But this one happened to have a little flaw on the front of it, so the department ordered me another one.”

  “Flaw or not, Raine considers it priceless.” Her smile provocative, she slipped her arms around his waist and pulled herself tighter to his hard body. “So, are you ready for another round of TV or do you have, uh, something else on your mind?”

  For an answer, he lowered his head and Jazelle was quick to lift her mouth to his.

  The kiss he placed upon her lips started as a gentle tease but rapidly deepened into a hungry search. At the same time, his hands urgently roamed over her shoulders, across her back, then around to her breasts.

  As soon as his fingers began to knead the soft flesh, she groaned and pressed her hips against the hard bulge pushing at the fly of his jeans. These past few days she’d desperately wanted to make love to him again and now that she was actually standing in his arms, the need was totally consuming her.

  When he finally lifted his head, he was breathing hard and his features were taut and strained. “I guess showing you what’s on my mind will have to wait,” he said ruefully.

  Her brain was already so fogged with desire, she struggled to follow his words. “Wait?” she asked huskily. “Why? Did you get a call and need to leave?”

  Frustration twisted his features. “No. But Raine is in the house.”

  She looked at him with disbelief and then a low chuckle rumbled out of her. “Of course he’s in the house. It’s where he’s supposed to be.”

  He grimaced. “Yes, but we, uh, can hardly be together with him here.”

  She nearly laughed a second time, but her amusement vanished as she suddenly realized this whole thing with her and Raine was a totally new situation for him.

  Cradling his face with both hands. “Oh, Connor, what do you think married parents like Joe and Tessa do? Never have sex, or send the kids out to the barn to sleep with the horses?”

  He groaned. “No. But Raine might wake up and...”

  When his words trailed off, she said, “He always sleeps through the night. And even if something did happen to wake him, we’ll make sure the bedroom door is shut.”

  Doubts continued to flicker across his face. “I’m not sure I feel right about this, Jazelle.”

  So far tonight, she’d been getting the impression that Connor felt comfortable with idea of the three of them at home in a family setting. He’d even seemed to enjoy the playtime with her son. But somewhere between then and now, something had changed. Or maybe that was the whole problem, she thought. Nothing had actually changed to make him want to be a part of a family.

  An uneasy feeling washed through her and she turned away from him to stare blindly at the cabinet counter. “I think I understand,” she said dully. “So, if you’d rather...we can go watch TV or play cards. Or, wonder of wonders, we could even talk. You know, that thing we do with our lips when we’re not kissing.”

  He muttered a curse and then his hands were on her shoulders, spinning her around until she was facing him.

  “Damn it, you know what I want!”

  Resting her palms against the middle of his chest, she looked into his blue, blue eyes. “You can’t have everything exactly like you want it, Connor. I have a child. And he’s a part of this—of me. If you can’t deal with that, then we don’t have a chance of making it out of this kitchen together, much less going as far as the bedroom.”

  His nostrils flared. “That’s pretty blunt.”

  “I’m trying to be real with you, Connor. You need to understand that I’m not the same gullible young woman who allowed a man to lead her around by the heartstrings. For my own sake, and for Raine’s, I can’t be that soft anymore.”

  He studied her for a long moment before he bent his head and kissed her with a passion so hot it stole her breath and wobbled her knees.

  “I don’t want you to be soft,” he whispered against her cheek. “I just want you to make love to me.”

  Jazelle wrapped her hand around his and, as she led him to her bedroom, wondered how much longer he would allow her to hold on to him. How much longer would it be before he felt the urge to move on to a woman who wasn’t tied to a young child? How long before he realized he didn’t want the love she was so desperately trying to give him?

  Chapter Eleven

  “Joe, did you always want to marry Tessa?”

  Behind the steering wheel of his truck, Joseph took his eyes off the highway long to glance at Connor. “Not exactly. I mean, I had to fall in love with her first. At the time we met, she had a lot going on in her life. Remember, we were trying to figure out why Ray Maddox had willed the Bar X to her?”

  “Yes, I remember. I also remember how shocked everyone was when you learned Ray was actually her father,” Connor told him. “So when did you realize you wanted her to be your wife?”

  It was Wednesday morning and, for the past hour, the two men had been traveling south on Highway 80 to Phoenix. Now the skyline of the city had finally emerged on the distant horizon and, in a matter of minutes, they’d be at the huge Maricopa County livestock sale barns. Behind the seat on the back floorboard of the truck, a stack of flyers waited to be dispensed to anyone willing to take one.

  Joseph chuckled. “I guess it was when I figured out I couldn’t live a day without her in it. Why are you asking? Have you reached that point with Jazelle?”

  He’d reached a point all right, but not the one Joseph was talking about. Three nights ago, when he’d spent part of the night at Jazelle’s house, something cataclysmic had happened to him. And when he’d finally climbed out of her bed and driven home, he’d recognized that their time together had to end.

  Call him a prude or old-fashioned, but he’d not wanted Raine to find him there the next morning. He wanted the boy to see him as a man to admire and look up to, not one who crept in and out of his mother’s bed. And then there was Jazelle. She deserved more than he could give her. She deserved love and commitment. A husband who’d cherish her and make her happy. He wasn’t that man. And from the way she’d looked at him when he’d left her house the other morning, he had the sick feeling she was already beginning to see he wasn’t the right man for her.

  Connor grunted. “Hell, Joe, I don’t know what’s happening with me. I think... These last few days—I guess I was reminded that if a man wants Jazelle in his life, he has to understand that Raine is a part of the package.”

  “You knew that before you ever went out with her.”

  He blew out a heavy breath. “Yeah. I sure did. I just didn’t realize that he would...”

  When he failed to finish, Joseph directed a frown at him. “What’s the matter? Is Raine getting on your nerves?”

  No, he was making a mess of his heart, Connor could’ve told him. The more time he spent with the boy, the more he wanted to think of him as his son. But that was wrong. He couldn’t be Raine’s father. That meant marriage to Jazelle. That meant making a home for the three of them. What did Connor really know about those things? Sure, he could make them happy for a few hours at a time. But ‘round-the-clock, day in, day out was something different.

  Life was full of bumps and bruises. Illnesses, job situations and financial strains always seemed to hit at the worst times. He could deal with his own problems, but how could he possibly know the right course to take if those difficulties include
d Jazelle and Raine? To try would only end up making a mess of his life and theirs.

  Clenching his jaw at the painful thought, he glanced at Joseph. “No. He’s a precious little boy. I think...well, to be honest, I’ve gotten too damned attached to him.”

  Joseph grunted. “If you ask me, I think you’re getting a whole heck of a lot attached to Jazelle, too.”

  Connor didn’t bother to argue that fact. Like a fool, he’d allowed his feelings to rule his thinking. He wasn’t just attached to Jazelle, he was besotted with her. And that could only mean one thing. He had to find the strength to walk away and never look back.

  * * *

  Ten minutes later, the men arrived at the auction barn. With the sale set to start in less than an hour, vehicles and livestock trailers were already parked in every available space surrounding the facility.

  Joseph parked as close as he could manage and the two of them collected a sizable stack of flyers from the back and headed to toward the gathering crowd of buyers and spectators.

  “I’m not that familiar with livestock auctions,” Connor said as they neared the front of the big barn enclosing the sale ring. “I wasn’t expecting this many people to be here.”

  Off to the side of the huge structure made of corrugated iron, rows and rows of corrals constructed of green pipe contained herds of cattle and horses.

  “These things are big deals to farmers and ranchers. Dad mostly came down here because it’s a meeting place for friends and acquaintances. And sometimes he’d get lucky and pick up a few nice head of cows or bulls. Mom always used to joke that sale day was Dad’s escape from workday. Here, lately, I’ve been wondering if sale day might have turned out to be his undoing.”

  “Do you think Joel might have put his trust into someone that wasn’t what he, or she, seemed?” Connor asked. “Maybe one of his transactions involving livestock turned sour.”

  “I’ve wondered that same thing over and over.” He gave his head a helpless shake. “I can only hope we get some kind of lead today.”

  By the time they entered the busy barn, the auction had started and the speakers positioned around the building blasted out the rapid-fire words of the auctioneer attempting to entice the crowd to purchase a small herd of Hereford cows. Along with the auctioneer’s loud voice, bid spotters shouted, cattle bawled and metal gates clanged as animals were moved from one small pen to the next.

  In the middle of the melee, Joseph and Connor put their heads together and eventually decided that one would deal with handing flyers to the general public, while the other approached the men and women working in different capacities around the facility.

  Connor volunteered to take on the workers, which turned out to be more difficult than he’d first imagined. Most of them were clearly annoyed to be interrupted for any reason, much less to answer questions about a woman who’d visited the sale some seven years ago. Many of the younger workers Connor approached hadn’t even been around at the time and, unfortunately, the older ones drew blanks.

  After about an hour and a half of getting nowhere, Connor decided to find Joseph to check on his partner’s progress. As he departed the back area of the barn, where the horses were penned, he spotted an older cowboy with a plaster cast on his forearm opening and closing a gate. Since he was the only worker in this section of the building that Connor hadn’t questioned, he decided to give the man a try.

  After quickly introducing himself, Connor handed him one of the flyers and explained that he was helping a friend search for a woman.

  The gray-haired cowboy, who’d introduced himself as Caspar, shoved a black hat off his forehead and squinted at the information on the flyer. “Joel Hollister, huh? I remember him. Hell of a cowboy. Rich as cream on a churn paddle, too. You wouldn’t ever know that from talking with him, though. Everybody liked him.”

  Connor felt a spark of hope. “You knew him?”

  “Oh, yeah. Knew him well. He came down here to the sale most every week or every other week. I always told him if I thought there was a good horse he might be interested in. He had a boy, you know, that trained horses. Guess he still does. Now that Joel is gone, I don’t hear about the family.”

  “That would be Holt. Yes, he still trains horses. In a very big way,” Connor told him then ventured to ask, “The woman we’re trying to find was supposedly seen with Joel here at the sale from time to time. We don’t know who she might’ve been, but we think she might possibly know something about his death.”

  Caspar frowned at him. “His death? Thought that was an accident. That’s what the paper claimed.”

  “Well, yes,” Connor told him. “But the family doesn’t think so.”

  Tapping a gnarled finger against the flyer, Caspar said, “This woman—was she a relative or something?”

  “No. We don’t actually know who she was. She might’ve been buying livestock or she might even have worked here. We just don’t know. Do you have any idea?”

  “What did she look like?”

  “The only thing we know is that she was blond and maybe medium height.”

  He pinched the bridge of his nose, then slowly began to nod. “There was a blonde who used to work here. Cooked hot dogs and hamburgers and that sort of thing in the concession stand. A few times I saw her and Joel having coffee together.”

  Connor was so excited he wanted to grab the old cowboy and hug him. “Are you going to be here for a while? I mean right here?” He pointed to the spot where they were standing. “I want you to talk to my friend—he’s Joel’s youngest son.”

  “Sure, I’ll be here till the lights go out.”

  Connor hurried out to the seating around the sales ring, thinking Joseph might be there. When he failed to spot him, he pulled out his phone and punched Joseph’s number.

  As soon as he answered, Connor practically shouted, “Wherever you are, get the heck over here! I’ll be waiting for you behind the bleachers at the sale ring.”

  “Why? What’s up?”

  “I’ve found someone who remembers the blonde—and your dad!”

  The phone went dead and Connor could only imagine what was going through his friend’s mind.

  Two minutes later, Joseph was matching his long strides to Connor’s as the two men hurried down a back alleyway toward the horse pens.

  “What made you come way down here, anyway?” Joseph asked.

  “You know me, Joe, leave no stone unturned. And I saw this old man and decided to give him a try.”

  “Do you know what this might mean to me—to the family?” he asked then said, “No. I can’t let my hopes get to out of hand. Not before we talk to the guy.”

  When they reached the area where Caspar was working, they found the old man busy filling water troughs in a pen several yards away. As soon as he spotted Connor and Joseph, he waved and yelled, “Be there in a minute.”

  Once he finally made his way over to the two deputies, he immediately stuck his hand out to Joseph.

  “I’m Caspar Garza and you must be Joel’s son,” he said. “You look a bit like him.”

  “Thanks, Caspar. I’m Joseph Hollister,” he said as he heartily pumped the man’s hand. “And you can’t imagine how happy I am to meet you.”

  “Well, I don’t know how I can help, but I’ll try.”

  “Connor tells me you remember a woman and Dad having coffee together. Do you happen to know her? Or remember her name?”

  Caspar thoughtfully rubbed his grizzled chin. “I didn’t know much about her. Just passed a few words with her whenever I visited the concession. She would’ve been pretty if she hadn’t been so haggard. You know, like she was always worn down to a frazzle. She was a hard worker.”

  Connor and Joseph exchanged questionable glances and Caspar continued to rub his chin.

  After a moment he said, “I do believe her name was Ginny. That’s it. Ginny
Patterson.”

  Connor made a triumphant fist pump while Joseph exhaled a huge breath of relief.

  “This Ginny doesn’t work here anymore?” Joseph quickly asked.

  “No. Quit a long time ago. Come to think of it, after I read about your dad’s death, I never seen her around. Didn’t put those two things together, though.” He squinted curiously at Connor then Joseph. “Is there some connection?”

  “We don’t know, Mr. Garza,” Joseph told him. “She’s the only clue we have, and we’re hoping she might give us some helpful information. Would you happen to know where she lives?”

  “Don’t have a clue. But I figure she lived somewhere in Phoenix. That old car she drove smoked like a chimney. It couldn’t make it more than a few blocks at a time. Guess her husband couldn’t do any better for her.”

  Both Connor and Joseph shook Caspar’s hand and thanked him soundly.

  “Good luck to you both,” he said. “And if you need me again, I work here every day.”

  Deciding they’d gained enough information from Caspar, the two men thanked him and left the building. By the time they reached the truck and climbed inside, Joseph was so overcome with emotion, he dropped his forehead on the top of the steering wheel and remained that way for long moments.

  “It’s going to be okay, Joe,” Connor said gently. “You need to be happy.”

  “I am, Connor. It’s just that...it’s been so many years with nothing more than tiny pieces of Dad’s shirt and a rowel off his spur. Now, all of a sudden, we might actually be getting close to the truth. It feels surreal. It’s...a lot to take in at once.”

  Joseph’s voice was choked and Connor realized the man wasn’t far from tears. The two of them were brothers by choice, not by happenstance of birth, and Connor could hardly bear to see him hurting for any reason.

  Without a word, Connor climbed out of the truck, went around to the driver’s-side door and opened it. “Scoot over,” he told him. “I’m driving.”