Shakespeare on the Roof

by Anthony E Thorogood

  ***

  Eleven: Gotta Get Your Hands Dirty

  Stan was tall, slightly bent forward, old and craggy but he could still walk a far younger man off his legs. He had worked all his life and he hadn't stopped just because he was well and truly over ninety, he also hadn't stopped because he was well and truly a multi-millionaire. I drove around to his house, it was impressive, a small mansion, it was the house that Stan and Hinze had built. I was there to pick up Kashmere and take her out to dinner, not a great idea but you've got to eat. She wasn't ready, I rang the doorbell and she answered dressed in towels which was a fairly pleasant surprise, she came towards me, I ducked thinking that she was going to hit me, but she kissed me on the cheek instead, which was another fairly pleasant surprise and then she led me out to the large back garden where Stan was tending to a long row of tomato plants. He was busy tying them to a frame to keep them upright when they became laden with tomatoes. He was wearing grey blue overalls, workman's boots and a sun hat. In light of an earlier conversation with Kashmere regarding my working suit, I had splashed out and was wearing a very expensive Australian wool suit, woven and cut in Italy, it was light weight and hung beautifully and what with snazzy black shoes, a white shirt and a colourful, but not too colourful, tie I thought I looked pretty damn good.

  'Grandpa this is Jack, Jack this is Grandpa. Look after each other while I finish getting ready' she said as she disappeared back into the house. 'Won't be a minute,' she shouted from somewhere.

  'Come to the pergola,' said Stan. 'I have cold water on ice, with some lemon, would you like?'

  'Very much, thanks.'

  Stan led me to a tiled plaza with some nice outdoor furniture and shaded by grape vines, Stan sat down and indicated for me to do the same, I did.

  'Kashmere she tell me that you are studying law.'

  'Was studying law,' I said.

  'You graduated?'

  'No, I've set up in business instead. A private detective agency.'

  'Kashmere is a good girl, I think a lot about her,' he said and poured two tall glasses of lemon ice water, the water poured into the glasses with that lovely, full throated, water pouring into a glass of ice sound. 'Would you like stronger?'

  'No, I'm driving this will be fine.'

  'What kind of car?'

  'A VW Beetle.'

  'You don't have no money?'

  'No, but I've got plenty of get up and go,' I said.

  'Kashmere's a good girl. She was in the army, what's a girl doing in the army? She no fight, just in office but that was dangerous, she get hurt, I no let her go back. What she want go back to army for, she's rich, when I go I leave her all I got.'

  'Oh, what about your grandsons, aren't there three of them?'

  'Don't talk to me about those boys,' he said standing up and pacing up and down the plaza. 'Hey, maybe you can help me,' he said but didn't look to me for a response. 'They mixed up with some bad man, I tell them no, leave it alone…I tell them is not good business…good money yes, very good, but not worth trouble…tomatoes is good business…eggs is good business…but this stuff from Korea no good for us, no good.'

  'What's the problem?'

  'No, no problem,' he said and sat down.

  'Korea?'

  'No nothing, no problem.'

  'I might be able to help.'

  'I work all my life and they…you don't want to know.' He stood up and went inside for a while, when he came back it was with something stronger and he poured whiskey into our glasses. It was good whiskey, better than mine.

  'Let's not talk about them.'

  'You grow tomatoes?'

  'Yes I enjoy it and anyway a man's gotta eat,' said Stan.

  'I've only just got going but I hope to do well with my detective agency. Did Kashmere tell you that I run a detective agency?'

  'Yes she said that and she said…more whiskey?'

  'Better not thanks,' I said. I wondered if I could ask for a doggy bag and take some home.

  'I work all my life, first on the river flats growing tomatoes and cucumbers, then I get hot houses and I get my produce to market before anybody else. Then the competition get hot houses, so I buy land in Adelaide and grow celery but competition keeps coming and coming. I make money but long hours, I don't care, but then I can't sell my tomatoes, there's a glut, so then I put up new hot houses and you know what I do?'

  'No.'

  'You guess.'

  'I have no idea. Passion fruit?'

  'Passion fruit! Nobody wants passion fruit!'

  'Wine grapes?'

  'No, everybody plant wine grapes, they tell me they going to make two thousand dollars a tonne and get ten tonne an acre, I tell them they are nuts. Everybody planting wine grapes and they all tell me quality will bring a good price, I tell them they are nuts. Who was right?'

  'Well not them, the bottom's fallen out of the wine industry.'

  'They all broke now, got vines and grapes and both is useless.'

  'Business and farming, it's like a lottery.'

  'Yes you said so, but it's the smart ones who gets it right, you gotta think for the future, you gotta get an edge. So this is what I do, I gets into organics. Price is good and everybody else is scared of organics, so I gets into organic tomatoes. Everybody else is into chemicals, they get good prices sometimes, I get good prices all the time. I get chickens, thousands of chickens and I make them free range, I make free range eggs and I get a good price. Now who's smart? Those stupid cookies who tell me they get two thousand dollars a tonne for grapes, or me with my organic tomatoes, my organic cucumbers, my free range chickens?'

  'I guess not everybody can predict the future.'

  'Predict nothing, you just keep your ear to the ground and keep your eyes open, you just do that and you do well.'

  'Too right, that's exactly what I'm planning to do.'

  'You're a good boy Jack, a good boy, maybe you're not so bad for Kashmere. Her brothers, they don't get their hands dirty, sit at desk all day using computer things and phones, always in suits like they are gangsters. What do they do? Nothing. What do they know? Nothing. You gotta get your hands dirty to understand what's going on. They get schemes, internet company, they want big offices, they want staff, they come to Grandpa I just need half a million dollars, they get big cars, big offices, big desks and what then? Nothing. I throw them out, you come work for me and you get your hands dirty, I say. And you Jack, you get your hands dirty, then I let you see Kashmere. Tonight is fine but you come again with clean hands and a fancy suit and I tell you where your walking papers are.'

  'Don't worry,' I laughed, 'this isn't what you think and anyway this isn't the real me. My company, it's hands on, I don't just sit in an office, I have two others and the three of us, we work our butts off.'

  'You a good boy, you understand, but fancy suits get you nowhere, you gotta get your hands dirty.'

  'I intend to.'

  Stan handed me a piece of paper.

  'Ring me, you watch my boys, secret no tell Kashmere, you watch my boys, if they meet fat man, black suit, scar on top of head you ring and tell me okay?'

  'Okay.'

  'Secret, no tell Kashmere.'

  A vision splendid appeared, it was Kashmere.

  'What's the secret Grandpa?'

  'No secret.'

  'Has Grandpa been boring you with his philosophising?' she said.

  'You should listen to an old man my girl.'

  'Grandpa, this is the twenty first century.'

  'So?'

  'Your Grandpa says I've got to get my hands dirty and wear badly cut, ill fitting suits,' I said.

  'No, I like you with clean hands and in your glad rags.'

  'This is a one off,' I said. 'I'm on your Grandpa's side.'

  'You listen to this boy, he's a good boy, he's a very good boy,' said Stan.

  'Watch out,' said Kashmere, 'or he'll be getting you to make wine and tomato sauce and his world famous salami. Grandpa has a secret traditional recipe f
rom his village back in Italy.'

  'You said your Grandpa was Bulgarian.'

  'Not Bulgarian, he's Rumanian but really he's Italian, he's lots of things. You were in the mafiosi once weren't you Grandpa?'

  'Me mafia, no I work, I work hard, I bring up my grandchildren good.'

  'Course you did Grandpa and we love you, you are awesome Grandpa, truly awesome, we owe you so much.'

  'She's a good girl. You a good girl Kashmere.