Fighting For Brittney (Police and Fire: Operation Alpha) (Tarpley VFD Book 5)
Page 9
Brittney frowned. “I’m sorry.”
“The more I realize there’s nothing I could have done to change the outcome of that day, how it wasn’t my fault, the more the crushing pain eases from my shoulders.” Dexter shrugged.
“Who’d have guessed this is how we’d turn out,” she murmured. “Both a bit broken.”
He chuckled. “True.”
“I thought,” she began, “if I tried to find you or reach out to you after everything, you’d think I was crazy or a stalker.”
Dexter snorted. “We're both fucked up. We both got into a situation neither of us had been prepared for. This,” he motioned between them, “the connection we have is undeniable. Even as I'm spilling my guts to you, I want you so much I can taste it—you.”
She let out a shuddered breath. “Same. What the fuck is wrong with us?”
“I ask myself that question every day. I should be furious with how long it’s taken for you to find me, but I am also pissed off at myself for abandoning you as well.”
“I don’t want your money, Dexter. I’ve never wanted anything from you. But I also won’t stop you from being Rai’s father. He needs you.”
“I want to be a part of his life. He’s my son. I never would have denied him.” The conviction in his voice surprised him. He’d waffled on the subject so many times while trying to figure out the best way to ask Brittney about Rai. Sitting there with her in his room, all of his doubts washed away.
“I never thought you would.”
“But, you thought I would be angry with you?”
She swallowed hard. “I thought perhaps you’d think I trapped you when it was the furthest thing from my mind.”
“Shit,” Dexter cursed. “It took two of us to make Rai. We both got in way over our heads and let our libidos and the drinks lower our rationale. We fucked hard and dirty that night never thinking we'd see each other again.”
“True,” she agreed. “So, where do we go from here?”
“Wherever you want,” Dexter said. “We can go slow or say fuck it and run headlong into this.”
“I’m not sure I’m ready to run headlong into anything,” she muttered.
“I tend to agree with you.”
“Rai doesn’t know who his father is,” she said then hurried to add, “I didn’t know how to explain it and didn’t know if you were alive.”
He held up his hand. “I understand. Again, we left each other with the belief it was one night and nothing more. How about you tell him about me and then we meet again so we can make introductions.”
“I’d like that.” She flashed him one of her brilliant smiles and fuck if it didn’t hit him square in the chest. “I better be going. We’re supposed to be out of here before dawn tomorrow.” Brittney stood. “Thank you, Dexter. It’s good to see you again after all this time.”
“Likewise.” As she headed for the door, he stepped in front of her, his hands balled at his sides. “Damn it, Brittney.” He grabbed her then and pressed his mouth to hers. The awkwardness of their situation stuck in his crawl. He hated it. They had a connection. It snapped between them the night Rai had been conceived and it continued to sizzle seventeen years later.
Dexter teased the seam of her mouth with his tongue, coaxing her to open to him so he could taste her one more time. Her muffled whimper gave him the advantage as she wrapped her arms around his neck, melting into his embrace. Their tongues tangled and his gut clenched with anticipation. This was the bit of excitement he'd been missing over the years. This instant attraction. This heat. They fumbled into the table and Dexter lifted her onto it, sitting her on the edge while he eased between her legs. Fuck, he needed to slow down, think. However, slowing down and thinking was harder than expected. Dexter pushed his hand under her shirt and trailed his fingertips along her warm, supple flesh. His dick thickened at her soft sigh. Brittney arched to him and the pad of his thumb grazed the lace of her bra. He held those perky mounds in the palms of his hands once before. Knew the feel of her nipples as they became tight peaks.
His mouth watered.
He craved this moment.
Dreamed about it.
He broke the kiss and took a shuddered breath, grasping at the thinnest threads of his control. He wouldn’t do this again. Couldn’t. They weren’t fuck buddies. They weren’t meant for another one-night stand. He wanted more from Brittney. He wanted to have a life with her, but he couldn’t force it. She had to agree with it as well. “Shit, you can still make me forget myself when I’m with you.” He pressed his forehead to hers.
“Same,” she answered. “Like everything, all my worries and cares, slip away the minute I touch you. It should scare the shit out of me, but I feel like I’ve been so lost without you.”
“Fuck,” he muttered. “It would be so simple to yank your pants off and fuck you right here and right now.”
“I sense a but,” she said.
“But, you’re not a toy,” he stated. “You—we’re not objects to get off with then go back to our normal lives like nothing’s happened. When we fuck, we’re doing it because we want each other, badly.”
Brittney ran her trembling fingers through her hair and nodded. “You’re right.”
“I’m not saying no, forever.” He lifted her chin. “I’m saying no for right now. We have too much shit to sort through. You have to concentrate on your work and our son. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be right here when you’re ready.” Dexter kissed her again, this time trying to shove as much emotion and care into it as he could before stepping back. “When Rai is ready, come find me.”
She eased off the table then wobbled toward the door. “I’ll call you later.”
“I’ll be waiting.”
Seeing Dexter went about as well as Brittney hoped it would. At least he hadn't called her every name in the book like her mother had. Yet, she couldn't bring herself to tell Rai. Sure, she blamed it on being on the road for the last couple of days, chasing tornados, helping clean up in the aftermath, if there were any. Plus, there'd been the media buzz from Clark, Nebraska she still had to deal with, along with more grant offers and reality show offers.
If she couldn’t shift through all of the information on her own, how could she tell her son about his father? That's a cop-out, and you know it. Brittney frowned. It was. She should have told Rai about Dexter years ago, but between work and not knowing where Dexter was or if he’d been alive, it was easier to play out of sight, out of mind. Now, it was coming back to bite her in the ass.
Dexter had seen the whole incident in Clark unfold. He’d also seen Rai at the celebration, she couldn’t hide anymore. Then he kissed her. It was as if time melted away. He’d promised her more if she wanted and that too left her head spinning. She walked back into the hotel room where her son sat playing video games while the rest of the team tracked the next storm, lost in thought. Dexter had come there for her—for them. He wanted to be a part of their lives. She was unsure of how she should proceed or if she wanted to. Hell, she couldn’t even process his proposal.
She glanced at her son and grinned. Rai fit in with them as he'd always been a part of their squad, and she supposed he had. From the day she told everyone she was pregnant until right then and there, she'd had at least one or two of her team members to count on. Her mother might have disowned her, but this—this was their family. Adding Dexter changed everything. It doesn’t have to though... Her mind continued to churn through the conversation she’d had with Dexter. The hope in his eyes and the eagerness in his tone. He wanted to be a part of them so shouldn’t she at least try?
“Rai?”
Her son lifted his head as he paused whatever game he played. “Yeah, mom? Oh, wait!” He grabbed his laptop. “This came in while you were outside.” He opened the computer then closed the distance between them. “It's another team, they want to link up with us and share data, bonus, they're also willing to share some of their grant money.”
She scanned the email and agreed,
it was enticing. Having a bigger audience, sharing information, it’d been what she wanted from the beginning, but it also meant more leg work during the tornado season. It would also mean more time away from Rai. “Hmm, looks promising.” Brittney placed the laptop down on the table. “How about you and I grab a burger?”
Rai glanced over his shoulder. “What about the team?”
“Well, this kind of needs to be a mom and son thing,” she answered, catching Shiro’s gaze when he looked up. “But I’ll tell you what, we can get them dinner and bring it back with us, how’s that sound?”
“Sounds great,” Shiro said. “We’re still combing data, so it’s best if we don’t leave.”
Rai frowned. “Well, if they’re okay with it.”
Brittney wrapped her arm around her son’s shoulder. “You’re a great addition to the team. You look out for all of us and I am so proud of you.”
Rai rolled his eyes as the tops of his cheeks turned a soft shade of pink. “Mom, don’t embarrass me in front of the crew.”
“Fine,” she said, biting back a laugh. “I’ll do it on the way to the diner.”
“Mooooom,” Rai moaned. “Gah. Why do you have to torment me?”
“Because she loves you,” Shiro said.
Brittney mouthed, thank you to Shiro as they walked out and headed to the truck. “I know this is sudden and everything, but I thought we could talk about things, just the two of us.”
“Are you okay?” His tone went from playful to serious in a split second. “Was it the phone call you got?”
“I’m fine,” she assured him. “And, yes, it is. But, it’s not a bad thing.” She got into the vehicle and put the key into the ignition. “You’re almost sixteen now and we should discuss stuff. It’s time.”
Brittney pulled out of the parking lot of the hotel and turned right. They were in Mississippi for the night. Storms were supposed to pop in the morning in a north-easterly line. As was the case with the coming Spring, the weather could be unpredictable, hence why everyone was going over the data. There was a chance Tupelo, Memphis, and Nashville could get hit with some EF-1s and EF-2 tornados, and she wanted to be in the line fire, just in case.
“Speaking of which,” Rai said. “Who was that guy you were talking to at the barbeque? Do you know him?”
“Yeah,” she answered. “I do.”
When the light changed, she pulled into the parking lot of the diner and found a spot near the door. The place looked empty, which would give them space to talk about Dexter. Brittney got out first, followed by Rai. Like always, her son held the door for her. She glanced at the “seat yourself,” sign and found a table in the corner perfect for them.
Once they were seated, it didn’t take long for a waitress to appear and take their drink order. The girl was polite and sweet. She also had a thing for Rai. Brittney looked at a boy a time or two as the girl did Rai. But, if her son noticed, he didn’t engage her. She blamed some of it on herself. They didn’t have normal lives together. Besides the team, they were pretty secluded with their life. She’d often wondered if she ruined Rai’s social skills because of how they lived.
After the waitress took their order, Brittney started from the beginning. “I have so much I have to tell you. I’m sure there will be things I miss along the way. I’ll come back to them though when I remember.”
“You’re kind of freaking me out, mom.” Rai stared at her, his grey eye swirled with worry and curiosity.
“Sorry, not my intention. These last couple of weeks have been hectic, right? From Clark to here in Tupelo... We never catch a breather.” She was rambling. “Anyway, the phone call I received was about you.”
“Whatever they’re selling,” he said. “I’m not buying.”
Brittney laughed. “I wish it were so easy.” She let out a breath. “Let's start at the beginning. It was 2002 and I just finished taking my junior year finals for college. We went to a bar to celebrate and I met a man there—a Navy Corpsman to be exact who was shipping off the next day.”
Rai held up his hands. “If this is a love story, I think I’ll pass. I don’t need to know about my mom getting freaky with some guy.”
She laughed again. “Well, it's not a love story.” She paused. “Well, it is, but the love story is for me and you.”
“Oh God mom, don’t be cheesy. Not in front of people.”
Brittney snorted. “Too late. I said it. Anyway...” She told him about meeting Dexter and feeling an instant connection with the man and what happened. Of course, not in graphic detail. “I'd been shocked to find out I was pregnant. I'd always been safe until I wasn't.”
“So, this Dexter guy, he knocked you up and he’s my dad?” Rai bent his head and ran his fingers through his long curly hair.
“Yes,” she answered.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
Ah, the question she’d been asking herself for sixteen years. “I didn’t know where to find him. He shipped out and had been overseas when I found out about you. I didn’t have a phone number or a way to reach him.” She frowned. “It also wasn’t easy for me in the beginning.”
“What happened?” Rai pressed.
“Have you ever looked up our last name?
He shook his head. “No, why?”
Brittney went for broke. “You have your phone with you?”
“Always,” Rai said.
“Look up our last name on the internet.” Brittney sat back in her chair and took a sip of her coffee. “Then tell me what you find.”
Rai whistled. “This is us? We’re millionaires?”
Well, her mother was, not Brittney. “No. My mother disowned me the minute I told her I was pregnant. See, the day I found out about you, I passed out at a station where I’d been interning. I knew, because the chief meteorologist was best friends with my family, he’d call and tell my father and well, he’d tell my mother.”
“So, you told them first,” Rai said. “Wow... What happened?”
Brittney grabbed a fry off her plate and ate it. “Well, I told them the truth. I explained everything like I just did with you, and my mom was furious. She told me a baby at my age would ruin my body. She said a mixed baby on top of that was a cardinal sin and when she was done, she kicked me out of the house. Told me never to darken their doorstep again.”
Rai blinked. The shocked expression on his face saddened her, however, he had to know even the dirtiest of details. “What about your father?”
“He passed away about six months after my mother disowned me. The doctors think—thought—it was a broken heart that killed him. You would have loved him,” she said. “He was an amazing and sometimes over-indulging father.”
“You never talked to your mother in all this time?” Rai asked, a bit taken aback.
“No, I found out about my father's death in the newspaper. I didn't even go to his funeral. I did, however, find out from Oklahoma University he'd paid all of my tuition in full just days before he passed. He lifted the burden on me. It made it easier to care for you and get my degree.” She waited while the waitress refilled their drinks before she continued. “My mother doesn't know anything about you or the man you're becoming. In a way, I'd like to keep it like that. She's controlling, vindictive and if she had it her way, I am sure she'd introduce you to society and begin grooming you to become the heir apparent for the Hart family.”
“Not a bad deal if you think about it,” Rai said. “I’d be loaded, and I could take care of you for the rest of your life.”
Brittney chuckled. “I don’t need to be taken care of. I need you to be okay with the reasons why I didn’t say anything.”
Rai shrugged. “It’s harsh, but I think I understand. So, why are you telling me now?”
Now, the even harder part. “Well, the person I was talking to on the phone earlier was your dad. He saw us on the news and well... He wants to meet you.”
“Meet me?” Rai cocked a brow. “When?”
“Whenever you’re re
ady,” she answered.
Her son sat back against the booth and exhaled. “Wow. He wants to meet me.”
“You have all the time in the world,” she said. “You don’t have to rush it. Plus, you’ve seen him before—a couple of weeks ago at the barbecue.”
His face scrunched up as he stared at Brittney. “The big hulking guy at the barbeque?”
She nodded. “Yep, he's your father. I guess, when he came home from the military after two tours overseas, he went into nursing and began working at Hill Country Medical Center. He's also a paramedic for Tarpley's volunteer fire department.”
“Which is why he was there,” Rai said.
“Exactly.” She stared at her son. “Tell me what you’re feeling and be honest.”
Rai sat there for the longest time not saying a word. “Out of body.” He grabbed his burger and took a bite then shoved some fries in his mouth. “I want to be mad, but I can’t be—with either of you.”
“Yes, you can,” she said. “You have every right to be.”
Rai continued to eat his dinner, only stopping to speak between bites. “How do you figure? You didn't expect to get pregnant. My father—Dexter didn't have a choice to get shipped out, nor did he expect to knock you up. I guess if I'm mad at anyone it's your parents. Your father should have put his foot down and told your mother to stop. Maybe he'd still be alive if he had.”
Yeah, maybe he would and then again, if it hadn’t been the pregnancy that got her mother to come after her, it would have been something else. “You have to understand, my father was devoted to my mother. He spent almost thirty years of his life dedicated to her happiness. He’d do everything in his power to give her the world and in one act of betrayal, he saw my mother for who she was—a malicious, hateful person. I have to believe her words and her actions the day she disowned me, shattered his heart.”
“I’m sorry mom,” Rai whispered.
“No, baby, I’m sorry. I should have told you all of this sooner,” she replied.
They finished eating in relative silence and when they were done, she ordered food for everyone at the hotel. On the way out to the truck after they grabbed their to-go bag, she paused as she unlocked Rai’s door.