Turn Me On

by Faye Avalon

  Memories of their last night together plagued him. There had been no sleepy eyes gazing up at him, no humming sound of contentment. Instead she’d given him a shattered look that pierced his heart sharper than the deadliest tipped spear.

  He’d been brutal—physically and emotionally. What had he been thinking insulting her that way? Insinuating they could invite Jack into their bed for their very own threesome.

  Jack had given him hell for it the next morning and, seeing as he agreed with every reprimand his friend threw his way, he’d taken it on the chin.

  Not only had he insulted her, but he’d taken her. He hadn’t been able to stop himself. A primal need had stormed through him, tearing away every atom of civility he possessed. He’d been consumed with a need to mark her as his own, so that any man who came within a mile would know she belonged to him.

  Reed squeezed his eyes shut for a second, wishing he could as easily shut out the memories of his actions. They had haunted him every moment since. She had haunted him every moment since—her smile, her scent, her eyes. It didn’t seem to matter if those eyes sparkled, gleamed, or glared at him, he just loved looking into them and have them looking back at him. Hell, he was so damn perverse he even missed her railing on him.

  He opened his eyes, slipped on his hard hat and began walking through the paraphernalia littering the ground toward the area of the development that was destined to become the new casino and night club. Everything was on schedule, thank God. He wasn’t sure his current state of mind would accept any delays or problems. His fuse, never long, had been whittled to nothing and the slightest inconvenience tested his temper levels beyond what was reasonable.

  Looking up, he saw Ethan. Hardly surprising, seeing as his cousin had won the contract to construct and maintain the elevators for the entire leisure complex, but Reed couldn’t stop anger from twisting his gut or resentment from tightening his hands into fists.

  Ethan strolled over and nodded. “Going well.”

  “Weather’s helping.”

  Ethan nodded again as both men looked out to survey the busy scene. “Thanks for putting in a good word for my company. I’m sure your recommendation helped in our being awarded the contract.”

  Reed had done little. Ethan’s good name was enough to seal the deal. “Yeah well, keep it in the family and all that.”

  Ethan turned and grinned. “You’re a grumpy bastard this morning.”

  “Not sleeping well.”

  “Heard you split with Lissa.”

  “These things happen.”

  Ethan rocked back on his heels. “Marco said Beth saw her the other day. Beth was visiting a colleague in the hospital and she bumped into Lissa coming out.”

  Hospital?

  An icy chill shuddered through him. Was she sick? Hurt?

  He forced his tone to remain steady, even though his chest squeezed. “What was Lissa doing at the hospital?”

  Ethan shrugged. “No idea.”

  Reed’s mind began to spin, a wave of debilitating thoughts fighting for attention as he considered any one of a thousand reasons Lissa might need to visit a hospital. But then those thoughts cleared and settled on one distinct possibility.

  Was she pregnant?

  She’d told him she was on the pill, but had she lied?

  He dismissed it immediately. Lissa had always been honest with him. But the contraceptive pill wasn’t failsafe and he’d heard of couples who’d been caught out. If she was pregnant, it was because he’d lost control and taken her without a fucking condom, putting her at risk.

  Shit.

  He ran his hand over his mouth. “I’ve got to go. Say hi to Amber for me.”

  Not waiting for Ethan’s response, he strode back through the rubble, pulling off his hard hat as he went. He dug out his phone, before deciding it was best not to alert Lissa to his visit. Hopefully she’d be at home and not out on assignment. If she was, he’d damn well wait until she got back.

  Thirty minutes later he stood outside the terraced house two blocks in from the seafront. He rang the bell, but there was no answer, so he gave the door a determined thump and stood back to look up at the first floor window.

  Did she know he was there and had chosen to ignore him? He wouldn’t put it past her, but the house seemed silent, so he resigned himself to waiting for her return.

  He leaned against the wall encasing a pretty tiled patio with stone pots planted up with pansies and various greenery. The area was small but the symmetry worked well. He realized that she would have toiled on the space until it pleased her photographer’s eye.

  He passed the time making calls and answering emails, until one of her neighbors came along with a bag full of groceries.

  The woman was probably in her seventies, and she gave Reed a smile as she walked into her front garden. “You’ll have a long wait if you’re waiting for Lissa.”

  Reed stood, almost falling over his feet as the feeling left his legs. “Is she all right?”

  The woman nodded as she put the bag of groceries on the ground. “Went up to London early this morning to take some photographs for a school, then she was taking the opportunity to have lunch with a friend who lives nearby. She’s visiting her aunt on the way back, so she won’t be home until late. She asked me to feed the cat.”

  Cat? She had a cat?

  The woman dug for her door key. “I hope the weather doesn’t turn like they’re saying it might. I don’t like her driving back from that nursing home in the dark. I wish she’d get Betty into somewhere closer, but where her aunt’s concerned it has to be the best. You know Lissa.”

  It seemed he didn’t. He didn’t know her at all. First the fucking threesome, then the cat, and now an aunt she’d never mentioned in a nursing home. What the hell else hadn’t she bothered to mention to him?

  Until the ink dried on the divorce papers, he was technically still her husband. Damn it, he had a right to know these things. His jaw clenched painfully, but he kept his tone light. “What nursing home did she finally decide on for Betty? The one near Godalming?”

  “That’s the one,” the neighbor confirmed, surprising Reed. Seeing as he’d pulled Godalming out of a hat as being the only nursing home he’d ever heard of. “Like I said, it has to be the best,” the woman went on. “Though how she’s managing their fees I have no idea, bless her. As far as I know, she doesn’t get any help from the Government.”

  She hadn’t had any help from him either, Reed thought as irritation flared in his chest. Why the hell hadn’t she told him? First the mortgage repayments, and now nursing home fees. The woman was so damn stubborn it was starting to piss him off.

  “Here. Let me get that.” He hopped over the dividing wall and picked up the bag of groceries. After he’d dumped the groceries on the woman’s kitchen counter, gently declining her offer of tea, he strode back to his car.

  On the drive to his office, he thought more about his relationship with Lissa. What did he really know about her? They’d talked mostly business, that was when they weren’t heating up the sheets. Come to think of it, they rarely talked of anything personal.

  Well, that was about to change. As soon as he saw her he wanted some answers. The first one being why the hell she’d been at the hospital. From his conversation with her neighbor, it sounded as if her health was okay, thank God. Which meant she really could be pregnant.

  Pregnant.

  The word pushed ice into his veins. If she was he’d… Fuck. What the hell would he do?

  Well, for starters he’d make sure Lissa and his child never wanted for anything. She could fight him all she wanted, but he’d damn well have a say in his child’s life, and she wouldn’t shake him off no matter how much she tried.

  He swore as he tightened his fingers around the steering wheel. He had rights. It was his baby and she’d be the mother of his baby. He tried to push away the image of Lissa, her belly swollen with his child, but it stuck in his mind. Soon it was accompanied by a glow deep in his che
st and a primal flare of heat that signified he would protect Lissa with every fiber of his being, that he would protect her and their child with every breath in his body.

  His jumbled thoughts and the swirl of emotion had started to make his head ache and his stomach twist. He pulled into the driveway of his office, killed the ignition, and sat there as he thought through the heady realization that he wanted her. Wanted her so fucking badly that she was like his fix. He didn’t function well without her. Okay, he went through the motions, but something was missing.

  Her.

  Was he in love with her? Well, if this ache in his chest, this emptiness in his soul, this damn pain in his heart was love, then he’d fallen just about as far as a man could fall.

  He didn’t like it. Didn’t like the feeling of being out of control, of relying on someone else to fulfill him, make every day worth getting up for.

  He was a damn mess, and over a woman who had chosen not to share herself, or her life, with him in any way except the physical. Well, things were about to change. He’d get some answers. And if she thought to fuck him around, the woman had better prepare herself for disappointment. Big time.

  ****

  As she left the nursing home after visiting her aunt, Lissa speculated on the wisdom of letting her friend persuade her to stay in London for an afternoon of shopping. She’d been up for the best part of sixteen hours now and still had the long drive home back to Brighton.

  Hell. She was so tired. The photo shoot that morning had been an especially challenging one. While she loved children, eighteen of them, all under the age of five, had been a nightmare to control. The contract had been her very first recommendation. She’d done a photo shoot for a nursery school in Brighton and the results had been so good she’d been recommended by the owner to a colleague in London’s west end. She’d spoken with several of the parents there who had also booked her for some private family shoots, so all in all it had been a fantastic day. Her new business looked set to thrive.

  Pushing through the exit doors of the nursing home, Lissa stepped out into the night mist which was slowly giving way to fog. All she wanted was to get home, take a hot bath, and get into bed. Chances were she’d sleep tonight. That would be a real bonus. Maybe the day wouldn’t have taken it out of her quite so much if she was sleeping well. Last night had been particularly bad. She’d tossed and turned for the better part of the night.

  It was his fault of course.

  She’d barely been able to shake him from her mind these past few weeks. If it wasn’t for her business, she might have fallen prey to the empty ache in her chest and the sheer misery that he was no longer in her life. She hadn’t heard from him. She hadn’t expected to. But it was impossible not to answer the phone and for that brief second between expectation and reality, wish it was his voice she would hear.

  As she walked through the empty parking lot, she became aware of a movement to her right. When she glanced up, her heart stopped then started beating frantically.

  Reed.

  She faltered as he started walking toward her. She’d forgotten how tall he was, how imposing. How much her heart soared at the sight of him. In casual jeans and a black leather jacket, he looked even more dangerous than when he was wearing an immaculate Italian-cut suit. It didn’t seem to matter how he dressed, the aura of authority surrounded him like a cloak.

  As he came near, her heart beat so hard she felt it thumping in her ears. “What are you doing here?”

  Sharp blue eyes regarded her. “That’s my question. One of many.”

  Her mind spun, her knees felt wobbly. “I’m visiting someone. Now I’m going home.”

  But it seemed her legs were incapable of taking her anywhere right then. All the feeling had gone from them.

  “I could have worked that one out myself,” he said with a deep scowl darkening his handsome face. “I’ve got some questions, and you’re going to answer them, princess.”

  She angled her chin into the air, her heart now thumping with something other than excitement at seeing him again. “We’re finished, Reed. We signed the papers to prove it.”

  He pushed his hands into the pockets of his trousers. “I’m not talking about any damned papers. Are you okay?”

  Momentarily shaken by the questioning look, the hint of what looked like vulnerability, Lissa frowned. “Of course, I’m okay. Why wouldn’t I be?”

  His throat contracted as he swallowed. “Why were you at the hospital?”

  Ah, so that was it. Maybe she’d been naïve to think her chance meeting with Beth wouldn’t have repercussions. “That’s my business.”

  “Maybe it’s mine, too.”

  She ignored his fearsome scowl and started to walk away, but he stepped in front of her. “Tell me why you needed to visit the hospital.”

  She couldn’t let herself be swayed by the concern in his eyes. He was simply doing what he always did. Exerting his control. Demanding answers. Pushing his weight around. Well, she wasn’t falling for it, and she damn well wasn’t going to lay her heart on the line where he was concerned. Not again. Never again. “There’s nothing wrong with me, Reed. I’m fine. I’ll be even better when you stop bothering me and get it into your head that we’re done.”

  His eyes narrowed. “Are we? Done?”

  She sighed heavily, wishing to heaven he would just go. She wasn’t sure her nerves…heart…could take much more of having him so close and yet not being able to touch him. “Do I have to spell it out for you?”

  “Are you pregnant?”

  If someone had handed her a million dollars right then, she wouldn’t have been more shocked. “Pregnant? Why on earth would you think that?”

  “Hospital. I didn’t use protection the last time we were together. Two and two, princess. I’m pretty good at math.”

  “On this occasion, they don’t make four.” She huffed a laugh, but it was more a nervous reaction than filled with any humor. “Of course I’m not pregnant. Is that why you’re here? Because Beth told you I bumped into her at the hospital and you did a crap calculation?”

  Anger simmered beneath the hurt. He’d come to find out if she was pregnant. Now that he knew she wasn’t, he would be able to draw a line under their relationship and go on his merry way. A baby on the scene would have complicated things. Knowing Reed as she did, there was no doubt he would have been prepared to honor his responsibilities.

  “Like I said, I came here for some answers.”

  “And now you have them.”

  “How’s your aunt?”

  “What?”

  “Your aunt. The one you’ve been visiting. Apparently you pay the fees for her to stay here.”

  Lissa’s mouth dropped open. “That’s also none of your business.”

  “The deal was for you to have a clean slate from debt. My side of the bargain was to clear those debts. Now I find not only didn’t you tell me you had a crippling mortgage, you didn’t tell me you had a sick aunt and were paying equally crippling nursing home fees.” He scrubbed his hand through his hair. “You didn’t tell me you had a damn cat, for God’s sake.”

  Lissa felt sick. She hadn’t wanted Reed to know any of that. “It wasn’t appropriate. It was my responsibility and is for me to deal with.”

  “And what now? You’ve got a new business and you’re starting out with more debt?”

  “I have everything worked out. I can manage now.”

  He shook his head. “You don’t have to manage. You can let me help you.”

  A couple exited through the doors and glanced at them, smiled, then hurried through the thickening fog toward their car.

  Lissa turned back to Reed. “I don’t want your help. I have everything under control. My control. I don’t need you or anyone else.”

  He stepped forward, his dark gaze so intent it made her stomach tremble. He touched his hand briefly to her cheek. “How come you’re so damn stubborn?”

  The brief contact seared her skin, made all her nerve end
ings quiver. She took a protective step back. “You should look in the mirror, Reed.”

  The door opened again and a group of people hurried out. Reed raised his chin and nodded toward the parking area. “There’s a pub down the road I noticed on the drive here. Let’s get a drink.”

  Since the fog was deepening by the minute, Lissa shook her head. She couldn’t bear the thought of spending time with Reed only to say goodbye again. “We both need to get back before this turns into a pea-souper. Most of the country roads aren’t lit and it comes in pretty thick before we hit the outskirts of the city.”

  “It’s thick now,” Reed said glancing around. “Thirty minutes isn’t going to make any difference.”

  She was about to protest again, when Reed grabbed the keys from her hand and stuffed them in his pocket. “What do you think you’re doing?”

  “Like I said, I’ve got questions and you’re going to give me the answers.”

  “You arrogant—”

  “Pig, bastard, jerk. Yeah. I’ve heard them all. You’ve thrown them at me often enough.” Turning on his heel, he started walking toward his car. Saying nothing, he opened the passenger door and nodded toward the seat.

  A few feet away, Lissa stood her ground. “I’m not getting into your car. I’m going home.” She held out her hand. “Give me my keys.”

  “Get in the car.”

  She only wiggled her fingers, her temper spiking as she glared at him.

  With his gaze fixed firmly on hers, his eyes gleaming, he stalked toward her. She raised her chin as he moved so she could keep him in her sights. When he was in front of her, he kept his eyes steady on hers as he bent down.

  Seconds later she lost her breath as he banded his arms around her hips, then hoisted her into the air and over his shoulder.

  “Let me down.” Almost unable to believe he’d done it, she thumped on his back as he strode across the tarmac. “For God’s sake, Reed.”

  At the passenger side of his car, he opened the door, swiveled, bent his knees, and dropped her unceremoniously into the seat. Before she could scramble up, he grabbed her legs, shoved them around, then slammed the door closed.