Hold Me Close, Contemporary Romance (Last Frontier Lodge Novels Book 7)

by J. H. Croix

  Bottling up his anger, he stalked out of his office only to come to a screeching halt when he saw Ivy sitting at her desk. She had her phone to her ear as she fiddled with the silver bracelets on her wrist. He’d noticed she did that when she was nervous. She’d yet to see him standing outside her door. Tension lined her face. He couldn’t help himself and rapped quickly on the door before stepping inside. Her eyes flicked to him and then to the wall. She was gripping the phone so hard, her knuckles were white. She spun her chair away from him.

  “Dr. Parkhurst, please don’t…”

  She paused, appearing to react to an interruption. The anger Owen had barely stuffed flared fast and hot. He stalked to her side and reached to grab the phone, only stopping when he realized she probably wouldn’t appreciate him going all manly on her. Barely leashing his anger, he tapped her shoulder and held out his hand. She shook her head and barked into the phone. “Do. Not. Call. Me. Again.” She threw the phone on the table where it slid across the surface and clattered onto the floor by his feet. He picked it up and set it carefully on the table, checking to make sure the call had ended first.

  Spinning her chair away, she put her face in her hands, her shoulders curling inward. She breathed in deep gulps of air and was otherwise silent. He remained where he was, once again trying to swallow his anger and uncertain how to help her. Everything about her body language screamed that she didn’t want to be touched. No matter how much he wanted to yank her into his arms, he didn’t. Instead, he sank down into one of the chairs by the windows and waited.

  After a few minutes, Ivy lifted her head and slid her hands through her hair. She slowly spun her chair around to face him. Her eyes were red and her cheeks blotchy. His heart clenched, but he waited.

  She lifted her hand as if she was about to gesture, but she let it drop into her lap. “I, uh…” She closed her eyes and leaned her head back. When she opened them again, she straightened her shoulders. “I guess I should tell you what that was about.” The look of trepidation on her face almost caused him physical pain. He considered it was probably better if he let her know what he knew, rather than trying to play it like he had no idea. He’d only put the pieces together today, so he didn’t feel as if he’d been hiding something.

  “Ivy?”

  She’d taken up fiddling with her bracelets again. “Yeah?”

  “I might have an idea what that was about.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I didn’t think much of it at the time, but your brother mentioned something about an ‘old creeper’ making life miserable for you at the university. It made me sick to hear it, but it’s not like I don’t know how often crap like that happens. That was before…” He paused to clear his throat, not quite sure how to label what was happening between them. “Before anything happened with us. Anyway, this morning I started going through my emails and came across one Dr. Parkhurst sent yesterday. He offered to consult on your work if I thought we needed it. The fact he even offered is a joke, but I put the pieces together and figured out he must be the jerk Cam mentioned.”

  He watched Ivy, seeing a mix of emotions pass through her amber eyes. Her shoulders sank in resignation, and she looked weary. “I should’ve told you. I just…”

  Owen shook his head quickly. “You didn’t have to tell me any of it. Parkhurst is a scumbag. I’d like to say his behavior surprises me, but it doesn’t. In addition to being rigid and moving at the pace of a snail, university environments are full of old geezers who ogle grad students and young faculty all the time. Far as I’m concerned, it’s a damn good thing you left. Too bad you didn’t find Off the Grid sooner. Aside from dodging handsy department chairs, you’re too damn smart to be held back like you would’ve been there.”

  He was battling a storm of feelings—anger and disgust with Parkhurst, frustration and sadness at the situation Ivy had been thrust into, and an intense need to wrap her in his arms. A look of relief passed across her face as she took a deep breath and straightened her shoulders again.

  “Why was Parkhurst calling you?” he asked.

  “I don’t know. He called yesterday and said something about apologizing for any misunderstandings between us. I told him he wasn’t supposed to call me. Because he’s not. I filed a formal complaint before I left, and that’s when things got really awful. I don’t know for sure, but rumor has it he’s pulled this crap for years and the complaints never go anywhere. It was like he was determined to wear me down. No matter what I did, he could make it nearly impossible for me to advance there, so I decided to cut my losses. I honestly don’t know what he thinks he can get from calling me now. Maybe he thinks I’ll drop my complaint, maybe he thinks he can make things difficult for me here. I don’t know.” She kept twisting her bracelets. She bit her lip and looked over at him.

  “Anything he thinks he can do, he can’t,” Owen said flatly. “It’s easy to forget when you’re mired in academia, but many of the higher ups there aren’t as powerful as they like to think. Parkhurst is washed up and hasn’t done anything productive in the field for years. I’m sure he made things damn miserable for you there, but he can’t anywhere else. If he tries to pull any bullshit, I’ll make sure he regrets it.”

  Before he realized he was moving, he stood and took the few strides to reach her, curling his hands around hers as he leaned forward. “You already put him behind you no matter what he thinks. If he calls you again, let me know.”

  Ivy’s hands were ice cold in his. He held on, trying to impart his heat to her. She didn’t pull away and gave a return squeeze, though her eyes retained the worry held there. “I will. It’s just all so frustrating. I hate that he can still get to me like this.”

  “It might feel like he can, but he can’t.”

  At Ivy’s nod, he gave her hands a tug. “Come on. Let’s go grab that dinner I asked you about.”

  “But it’s early and…”

  “You work late all the time. Let’s go.” He gave another tug and she stood, giving the first hint of a smile he’d seen since he walked into her office in the middle of her tense call with Parkhurst.

  When she began to put her coat on, he stepped into his office to power everything down and grab his jacket. As they walked outside, the snow he’d guessed was on its way had started to fall.

  Ivy turned her face to the sky, a smile curling her lips. “Almost spring snow!”

  He couldn’t help but chuckle. “There’s not really a spring in Alaska, it’s more like a day or two and then it’s summer.”

  She started to walk toward her car, so he grabbed her hand. “Ride with me. No need for you to drive.”

  She spun to face him, her amber eyes bright in the wispy light of early evening with the snow falling around her like fairy dust. “Okay. Where are we going?”

  “Your choice.”

  She cocked her head to the side and bit her lip again, something he noticed she did when she was pondering and something that made him hard almost every time she did it. “Would you mind if we went to the lodge restaurant? Ginger and Cam will be there, and I just kinda want to be around my friends right now.”

  Normally, Owen’s answer would be a definitive no. He wasn’t much for social gatherings, no matter how casual. But he couldn’t say no to Ivy, and he was coming to understand what Cam had said about her. She naturally leaned toward others, both giving and seeking support. Beyond quickly earning universal respect among the team of engineers at Off the Grid, she’d also endeared herself to the office staff by making coffee every day and easily taking care of mundane tasks often avoided by the other engineers.

  So, he nodded and held open the passenger door for her.

  Chapter 13

  Ivy rolled over and collided with a warm, muscled body, the delicious heat nudging her into awareness. Owen’s muscled arm was draped over her waist as she turned in his sleepy embrace. She relaxed against his side, sliding her foot up along his calf. Last night had been layers of amazing—hot, body melting ama
zing. After the unsettling call from Dr. Parkhurst, she’d had mixed feelings about learning Owen had pieced the details together. She’d managed to put her worries about it away, at least for the night. She’d sensed Owen hadn’t been too thrilled when she suggested dinner at the lodge, but he’d gamely gone along. It had been beyond good to relax with Cam and Ginger and their mixed group of friends who rotated by the table. Ivy hadn’t planned it that way, but it was nice to see Owen letting down his guard more. The man she’d come to know was reserved. The bits and pieces she’d learned of his past helped her understand why he kept his distance, but it worried her that he didn’t allow himself to be closer to others. She couldn’t say she knew what it was like to lose two parents in one swoop, but she knew what a painful loss was like. What had healed her was to pull those she loved closer.

  She opened her eyes. He was sound asleep, his chest rising and falling in steady, even breaths. His features were softer in sleep. She fought the urge to trace a finger along his stubbled jaw. After dinner, he’d brought her home with him and proceeded to drive her completely wild. Just thinking about it sent a wash of heat through her. She closed her eyes and tried to steady her pulse. She didn’t quite know what to do with what was happening with Owen. She couldn’t say she’d known how it would play out because she’d never done anything like this. She thought she’d manage to leave her virginity behind her and that it wouldn’t be too hard to burn out the scorching flames of their attraction.

  It didn’t seem to be working out that way. If anything, every time she was with Owen, the burning longing inside grew and got bolder. She’d expected him to keep his distance at work, but he wasn’t. Oh, when it came to the actual work, he left her to her own devices. She was busy with her projects, while he was busy with whatever he was working on. He had his fingertips on everything at Off the Grid, but he was heavily focused on only a few projects. Yet, beyond the ‘work’ at work, he was surprising her with the frequency with which he sought her out. Case in point, when he popped in her office the other afternoon and left her nearly boneless after making her see stars.

  Just thinking about those heated moments, her belly did a slow flip and she clenched her thighs together. He shifted in his sleep and mumbled something. She gave into the urge to open her eyes again, this time letting her hand stroke across his chest. He opened his eyes, his gaze immediately locking with hers. Holy hell. His blue eyes were dangerous all on their own, but hooded and sleepy…well, they sent a sizzling zing through her insides. In a flash, he sat up and hauled her into his arms, striding to the shower.

  A while later, she tugged on her clothes and made her way down the spiral staircase. She found Owen busy in the kitchen making omelets. He nudged his chin in the direction of the coffee pot when she approached the kitchen counter. “Forgot to start coffee, but then I thought you wouldn’t mind making it.”

  “Of course. Where…?”

  “Coffee beans are in the cabinet above it,” he said, reading her mind.

  After a leisurely breakfast, Owen returned her to her car. It was Saturday, so the parking lot at Off the Grid was mostly empty. Ivy couldn’t help but wonder who might be working. She wanted to ask Owen what he was doing, but that wasn’t what they did. Although she didn’t think what they did last night fell into the idea of what Owen had originally proposed either. That unsettling thought prompted her to wave casually and jump in her car. She’d find a way to think about something other than Owen for the rest of the day.

  Owen tried to bury himself in work for most of Saturday morning, but he was restless and constantly had to swat thoughts of Ivy away. Deciding he’d done enough for the day, he headed up to Last Frontier Lodge for some skiing. He skied almost every weekend when there was snow on the ground, so this was typical for him. He felt out of sorts about it due to Ivy’s connection to the lodge. He couldn’t let that interfere with doing what he loved, so he ignored it.

  It didn’t take long for skiing to give him exactly the escape he sought. He breathed in the crisp air, scented with fresh snow and spruce, as he flew down one slope after another, pushing himself to exhaustion after a few hours. When he swirled to a stop at the base of the mountain as the light faded to dusk, he was leaning over to step out of his skis when he heard his name. Glancing up, he saw Cam heading his way with a pair of skis in hand. With his cheeks ruddy from the cold and his hair windblown, Cam looked to have been out for most of the afternoon as well.

  Cam reached him and paused. “Good ski today?” he asked.

  “Always. Snow was perfect, nice and dry.”

  Cam nodded, his eyes scanning the ski slope behind them. Skiers still dotted the slope and would for hours more. The lights lining the slope came on just then. Cam looked back at Owen. Owen could tell he was considering something, and he couldn’t help but wonder what Cam might be thinking. He’d managed to keep his hands to himself last night during dinner with Ivy, no small feat given what her mere presence did to his body. Yet, he wasn’t stupid and knew Cam had to sense something, what with Ivy leaving with Owen and not returning last night.

  Cam finally spoke. “So, you’re seeing Ivy.”

  Owen finished stepping out of his skis and straightened, gathering the pair of skis together in one hand. He met Cam’s eyes, considering how to respond. It wasn’t that he was trying to hide anything, it was more that he couldn’t quite believe he’d stumbled into this situation. His idea, which was looking more stupid by the day, to give into the raging, burning, yearning that flashed between him and Ivy and let it burn itself out, wasn’t working—at all. He’d seriously underestimated the depths of his attraction to her and was swiftly discovering the more he tasted her, the more he wanted. Yet, he couldn’t stand here and run circles in his mind right now. Ivy’s older brother was asking a simple question.

  Owen finally nodded and waited to see what Cam would say next. Cam was quiet for a few beats, his eyes never straying from Owen. “Okay then. Look, I don’t get into Ivy’s business much. If anything, that’s because I’ve hardly been around. I have to say this though. Don’t mess with her. You seem like a decent guy, and it’s obvious she likes you. You’d better not hurt her.”

  Owen absorbed Cam’s comment and nodded. “Look, I didn’t expect this to happen. I know how amazing Ivy is. You have my word I’d never do anything to hurt her.” As he spoke, Owen’s mind started spinning. The truth was, he wouldn’t ever purposefully hurt Ivy, yet he’d fumbled this badly. This thing with her was supposed to stay in a compartment of his life, so thoroughly enclosed that he shouldn’t even be having this conversation with her brother. He’d let this slide way too far. Problem was, any thought of trying to reel back and withdraw from Ivy was unthinkable. He wanted her too much.

  Cam held his gaze, those eyes so similar to Ivy’s sharp and assessing. He finally nodded. “Okay then. I’ll take you at your word.” He started to turn away before pausing and looking back. “Delia bottled a fresh batch of hard cider today. You might want to swing by the restaurant and pick some up before you go. Doesn’t last long.”

  “I just might. Thanks for letting me know.”

  Owen watched Cam walk away, the packed snow at the base of the slope crunching with his footsteps. He remained where he was for several moments, thoughts of Ivy tumbling through his mind. Part of him was screaming out that he needed to back off and fast. He meant what he’d said to Cam, he would never do anything to hurt Ivy. Yet, he feared he’d set himself up to unintentionally hurt her. Because her heart was warm and inviting, and he knew that maybe she’d thought they could do this thing with some distance but distance wasn’t a part of her personality. She was wired differently. He tried to think through how he could get them back onto footing that made sense. Every time he considered that, another part of him screamed. He wanted none of it to stop—not the searing hot sex that scalded him to the core, not the intellectual back and forth and watching her brilliance in action, and not the funny, warm side, like when she’d looked up and grinned
at him this morning, slyly pointing out he’d put on his shirt inside out. That’s how dazed he’d been after sliding inside her slick channel in the shower. Worst of all, the very thing he’d avoided for so many years was rearing its terrifying head. The idea of anything happening to her struck pure terror in his heart.

  He gave his head a hard shake and tried to quell the churning in his gut. He strode quickly onto the sprawling back deck of the lodge and headed inside. He left not much later with several jugs of Delia’s amazing cider tucked in the back of his SUV.

  Chapter 14

  Ivy followed Ginger into Misty Mountain Café. Ginger had insisted Ivy needed to join her for a weekend coffee break with friends. Meanwhile, it was snowing. Again. It had been a full week since she’d last spent the night with Owen, and Ivy was starting to think a little distance might be good. Owen seemed out of sorts and was popping in her office less frequently. She was so not accustomed to navigating the waters of relationships, and she didn’t even know what to call what they were doing. After several days where he was polite and seemed busy almost every time she encountered him, he’d stopped by her office yesterday. The moment he closed the blinds, she got wet. It was as if he’d been desperate for a fix…of her. And her for him. Then, he’d withdrawn again. She kept telling herself this was what she’d signed on for—a chance to burn the chemistry between them to nothing but ashes. Yet, instead of burning out, every time they connected, the fire flashed hotter and higher.

  As she followed Ginger into the line in the coffee shop, she realized she was zoning out. Again. She could compete for the most distracted person in the universe these days. All because of Owen. She glanced around the coffee shop. It felt warm and cozy in here with the scent of baked goods and coffee filling the space. Timber beams crisscrossed the high ceiling in the old Quonset hut with bright wall hangings and artwork adding vibrancy. The café was busy, but once she and Ginger ordered coffee, they managed to snag a table when another group departed. Ivy wrapped her hands around her warm cup and took a sip of the rich brew.