Liverpool Love Song

by Anne Baker

  While Chloe doted on Lucy from the moment she was born, she soon realised Adam did not. Lucy cried a lot and kept him awake at night; he said he wished they’d made her nursery further away from their own room, preferably on the other side of the house. And during the day he complained she was always there between them, a demanding and bawling presence.

  Chloe had looked forward to showing off her new baby to Mum and Rex. On the day she’d invited them to come, she’d dressed Lucy in the smart gown Adam had bought for her and she didn’t cry once. They brought gifts for the baby: Mum had managed to finish knitting her a white matinee coat and Rex presented her with a silver-backed hairbrush.

  Mum was clearly thrilled to hold her, and billed and cooed over her. Lucy had a soft covering of golden down on her head, neat regular features and round eyes of the darkest blue. It surprised Chloe to find Rex carrying the baby round the room marvelling at how beautiful she was.

  Adam was at home and made tea for them in the silver teapot. ‘Sorry,’ he said, ‘I’ve had to buy a cake, Lucy takes up so much of our time.’

  ‘More than we expected.’ Chloe smiled.

  ‘She’ll get easier to manage as she gets older,’ Helen comforted.

  ‘The house doesn’t look as spick and span as it did,’ Adam said ruefully. ‘I’m going to ask Ruby, my cleaning lady, to work two extra mornings if she will.’

  ‘You have a cleaning lady?’ Rex sounded amazed.

  ‘For two mornings a week up to now. It helps me keep the place tidy.’

  ‘You keep it looking like a show house.’

  ‘No point in having a nice place and not looking after it,’ Adam said tartly.

  On the way home, Helen said, ‘They seem happy, don’t they? She may be all right. Anyway, I’ll have to get used to her being an unmarried mother.’

  ‘She’s certainly living in luxury there.’ Rex shook his head. ‘To think of Adam employing a cleaner for two mornings a week when he was living there alone.’

  ‘And not much more than a lad, only twenty-five,’ Helen said. ‘He’s done very well for himself.’

  ‘He’d no doubt be shocked to see how I live,’ Rex said. ‘He’d probably think my flat was a slovenly mess.’

  ‘It isn’t,’ Helen said.

  ‘But it’s cramped and not at all smart.’ Rex flashed her a smile. ‘The baby’s lovely.’

  ‘Adorable,’ Helen agreed.

  In the weeks that followed, Chloe settled into motherhood and thoroughly enjoyed caring for Lucy. She hadn’t expected to miss going to work, but she certainly missed the company of the office girls. Adam couldn’t do without his visits to top Manchester night spots and took to going out without her once or twice a week. When he returned home, she’d usually been in bed for an hour or so, and it meant he woke her up. Sometimes he woke Lucy up too.

  Chloe tried not to show her irritation about this. She felt he should involve himself more with Lucy, but he wasn’t drawn to her, he didn’t want to feed or nurse her. Neither did he want to get up to her when she woke up in the night, which was most nights.

  He said, ‘You don’t have to get up to go to work, Chloe, so it’s only fair you should see to the baby.’

  Chloe was always tired and felt she and Lucy spent a great deal of time on their own. She wished her mother and Rex were nearer; the garden would be a pleasant place to take Lucy on a hot afternoon.

  ‘You need to get out more in the day by yourself,’ Adam told her. He’d provided a large Silver Cross pram for Lucy’s outings.

  ‘I know, I know. Couldn’t you take the odd afternoon off so we could all go out together?’ she asked Adam.

  ‘That could be difficult.’

  Chloe thought the next best thing would be to go to an auction with him, so one day he drove her and Lucy to an auction room in the Peak District. Chloe was fascinated, but Lucy was restless and wouldn’t settle in her carrycot. It was too long for a baby to be in a noisy and unfamiliar place, and Adam said he couldn’t concentrate on the buying and selling.

  ‘I’d get you a car, if only you could drive,’ he told her. ‘What about driving lessons?’

  ‘Who would look after Lucy while I was learning?’

  ‘You could ask Ruby.’

  Ruby was now working for them four mornings a week, and Adam, who was very fussy about cleanliness and order about the house, thought she needed every minute of that. But she was working for someone else in the afternoons and occasionally they asked her to babysit of an evening as well.

  ‘Couldn’t you have Lucy on the back seat in her carrycot?’

  ‘I don’t know whether I could cope with that,’ Chloe said. ‘How could I concentrate on what the instructor was telling me if she was crying in the back?’

  When she saw the look of impatience on Adam’s face, she gave up.

  Rex had stayed overnight with Helen for the last three nights and was cooking egg and bacon for their breakfast while she took a bath. She had hinted that she’d like him to move in permanently, but he knew she was worried about Marigold, and they’d have to decide what was to be done about her first.

  He felt guilty. He was increasingly fond of Helen and he recognised that she was giving him her heart. He didn’t want to lose her – his life was vastly improved now she had a larger part in it – but it was Chloe who haunted him still. If it weren’t for Chloe, he’d ask Helen to marry him. Make an honest woman of her, as the saying went. Then Marigold could come and live with them, if that was what Helen wanted.

  But Rex couldn’t commit himself to Helen while he still held feelings for Chloe.

  Helen came downstairs in a cloud of fragrant bath scents and put the bread in the toaster. She’d had a storm of tears yesterday when Marigold had told her she was having nothing to do with social security; she was not going to be a burden on the tax-payer. He could see Helen frowning over this.

  ‘I’ve given her money but that doesn’t satisfy her. She says she’s getting old now and needs physical help.’

  ‘No, Helen,’ he told her. ‘She’s perfectly capable of looking after herself. For heaven’s sake, she was taking care of her mother as well, only a few weeks ago. She hasn’t got over the shock of that yet. Give her time.’

  ‘She doesn’t want time, she’s impatient with me. She thinks I should have her here. She is my mother, after all.’

  Rex sighed. ‘I suppose that house is too big for her.’

  ‘The house is awful, I can’t just leave her where she is. She thinks this is luxury.’

  ‘I do too.’ Rex dished up their breakfast and pulled up a chair in front of his plate.

  ‘If Marigold were here,’ Helen said, ‘having you round for a meal wouldn’t be the same. We wouldn’t be able to talk, would we?’

  Rex felt as though he had his back to the wall. He hadn’t expected Gran’s death to catapult him and Helen into an impasse. He couldn’t make up his mind what to do for the best. The last thing he wanted was to hurt Helen’s feelings.

  ‘Our problems are the result of Victorian thinking,’ he said. ‘What’s happened in your family and what’s happened in mine wouldn’t happen today. It won’t happen to Chloe; she’s much more up front and in tune with the times.’

  ‘But it’s still affecting you and me, and how do we stop that?’ Her eyes were pleading with him across the table. He knew it was on her conscience that she’d done nothing about settling Marigold.

  It came to Rex in that moment, and he almost laughed outright. ‘I must get myself a house that’s halfway decent. Heavens, Helen, when I saw how Adam had set himself up in the grand style, it made me feel I was being silly to live the way I do. My business has prospered over the years and yet I spend little of the profit. I could afford to buy myself a house with some comfort now. I’m going to do that, and when we want to be together, you can come and stay overnight with me.’

  Helen’s jaw had dropped. ‘But I love this place and the garden . . .’

  ‘You must keep it.
This is your home. I’m not going to try and duplicate the garden. Another good thing is, it’ll stop me feeling I’m sponging on you by always coming here.’

  ‘You don’t, you often take me out.’

  ‘Will you help me find a house and set it up?’

  ‘I’d love to.’ Helen’s eyes were sparkling with anticipation.

  ‘I’m not good at that sort of thing, but you are. It’ll be a place we can share.’

  ‘I’m being greedy.’ She was biting her lip. ‘I want to share your new house and to keep my own too. But it’s all very exciting. Let’s start looking for it today.’

  ‘I have to go to work, Helen. Things I must do.’ He laughed. ‘But you can.’

  ‘Shall I see if the local estate agent has anything to suit?’ she asked.

  ‘Yes please. We need it near here. I must put my flat on the market too.’

  It turned out to be an exciting time for both of them, almost as though they were setting up home together. They pored over street maps and visited one estate agent after another. Looking at houses around the neighbourhood meant they were out and about more. And once out, they tended to stay out to have meals and drinks in the local pubs and cafés. Rex found it invigorating and had new energy; he thought Helen had too.

  They looked at umpteen houses before they found Newburn Cottage. It was in a quiet backwater, tucked away behind a church. Rex had thought he wanted a modern house until he saw a photo of this one in an estate agent’s window. It was late Victorian, almost turn of the century, but it had been well worked over recently and had a large kitchen, three bedrooms and two bathrooms in the very latest designs. There was central heating too, as well as an open fire, so they need never be cold.

  ‘It doesn’t need much doing to it,’ Helen said. ‘It’s all in tip-top condition.’

  ‘I like it very much.’ Rex went from room to room, overawed by what was going to be a huge change in his life.

  ‘It’s just a question of moving your own furniture in,’ Helen said.

  Rex laughed. ‘You’ve seen my furniture, so you know there isn’t much I’ll want to bring.’

  That started them going round the big Liverpool stores looking at carpets and furniture. Afterwards, they usually had a cup of coffee in some nearby café to discuss what they’d liked and what would be suitable. Helen made notes, and later they made their choices and returned to buy.

  ‘I’m going to have an absolutely beautiful new home,’ Rex told her. ‘I’m thrilled with it.’

  It upset him when Helen’s enthusiasm left her like a burst bubble. ‘But the more I think of inviting Marigold to live with me, the less I like the idea. She’s never really pleased with anything.’

  ‘You’re right to think carefully about that.’ Rex patted her hand. He had in mind the fits of depression she used to suffer and thought her wise not to rush into it.

  ‘I wish I wasn’t such a selfish person.’

  ‘You aren’t that,’ he said. ‘I’ve been thinking about it, and there is another alternative. What about my flat? It hasn’t sold yet; would Marigold like to live there? It’s small and easy to manage.’

  Helen’s face brightened. ‘I could ask her, couldn’t I?’

  ‘Why not? She might like it. We must take her to see it. Persuade her.’

  Rex felt much better about things now he had somewhere to entertain Helen. But Marigold was still pressing her to let her move into Chloe’s room and he wanted to help her.

  He and Helen went round his flat deciding which of his shabbiest furnishings should be thrown out, and Helen brought a few pieces from her house to smarten the place up. Then one Sunday, after Helen had provided the three of them with a good lunch of roast lamb and apple tart, they took Marigold to view it.

  ‘It’s small,’ Rex told her. ‘Just right for one person and very convenient for the shops.’

  ‘There’d be much less housework for you, as there’d be no fires to light,’ Helen added.

  Rex drove them there in Helen’s car as his van had seats for only two people. When he drew up outside, he saw Marigold looking up at the newish pink-brick block without enthusiasm.

  ‘I don’t like the area,’ she said.

  Helen pushed that aside. ‘In a block like this, you’d be closer to other people. You wouldn’t be lonely here.’

  ‘There’s a lot of stairs to get up to it.’

  ‘It’s only on the first floor.’ Rex knew Marigold was going to turn it down. Her lips were straightening into a hard line as they led her from room to room.

  ‘You can have warmth at the touch of a button,’ Helen said. ‘You’ll love that.’

  ‘But how much is it all going to cost?’

  ‘It’s very economical to run.’ Rex flung open the bathroom door. ‘Hot towel rails here, and I had the largest possible bath fitted.’

  ‘You like it, don’t you?’ Helen asked.

  ‘Well it won’t do for me. I couldn’t come to live in Princes Park, could I?’

  ‘Why not?’ Helen asked.

  Rex said quickly, ‘It’s a very quiet neighbourhood and you have the park just round the corner. And Sefton Park isn’t far either. It would give you some nice walks, it’s a good place to live.’

  ‘But I’ve always lived in Anfield. How would I get to church on Sundays? Hardly any buses run on Sundays, you know.’

  ‘There’s a big church within easy walking distance of this flat,’ Rex assured her. ‘We could go and see it now.’

  ‘No thank you. I’d rather go to the church I’m familiar with, and be amongst people I know. No, Rex, your flat is nice enough but I don’t think it’s for me.’

  Helen drove her home to Anfield after that. ‘Think about it, Marigold,’ she said as she got out.

  ‘Do you care what I think?’ she retorted.

  ‘Of course.’ Helen was subdued in the face of such confrontation.

  ‘Then much the most sensible thing would be for me to move in with you. You must be lonely now that Chloe’s left.’

  ‘I live a fair step away from your church,’ Helen pointed out gently.

  ‘Yes, but you have a car. It would be nice for us both to go on Sunday mornings, wouldn’t it?’

  CHAPTER NINE

  FROM TIME TO TIME Chloe spoke to her mother on the phone and knew she was sympathetic about the difficulties of getting out and about with a baby.

  She said to Adam one evening over supper, ‘I’m afraid Mum might feel I’m neglecting her because I’ve made no effort to take the baby to see her. I’d like to do that, perhaps stay a night or two if she’s willing.’

  ‘I don’t like you staying away overnight,’ he said. ‘I miss you.’

  ‘Just one or two,’ she persuaded. ‘You could eat out, see a show or something. You know you’d enjoy that.’

  ‘Well, you do need a break. Just this once, then.’

  Chloe was keen and went to ring her mother. She was surprised to hear her voice spilling over with good spirits.

  ‘I’d love to see you both, darling,’ she said. ‘Babies grow so quickly at this stage. Why not come for a week? That would give you a break and a change.’

  ‘Two nights, Mum. Adam doesn’t like me staying away too long.’

  ‘Right, then I’ll come to Lime Street station to pick you up. If you can’t spend long with us, I don’t want you to waste time coming up on the bus.’

  Chloe saw her mother the moment she got off the train and thought she’d never seen her look so alive. She’d smartened herself up and was wearing her clothes fashionably shorter. She looked younger and happier than she had.

  ‘You look very well, Mum.’ Chloe couldn’t believe it; she’d been half afraid her mother would miss her and grow depressed again.

  ‘I’ve been in town all morning,’ Helen said, taking Lucy from her arms and trying to hug Chloe at the same time. ‘I’ve bought a new dress and had my hair done.’

  She made a great fuss of Lucy as they walked to where she’d pa
rked her car. ‘Isn’t she beautiful? And so like you when you were a baby. She’s really coming on, lovely blonde hair.’

  ‘She’s sleeping through the night now, so I’m able to as well.’

  Helen hoisted Lucy higher on her shoulder to unlock her car, and then paused. ‘Are you happy, Chloe?’ she asked.

  ‘Yes, yes.’ Chloe tried to sound more enthusiastic about her changed circumstances than she really felt. ‘I’ve missed you and your lovely garden. I can’t wait to see it again, it’s always gorgeous in the hot weather at this time of the year.’

  ‘It is, I absolutely love it.’

  ‘And Rex, is he OK?’

  ‘He’s fine. When I told him you were coming today, he said he’d arrange to work in my garden so he could see you and Lucy. I’ve asked him to have dinner with us.’

  ‘Jolly good.’

  ‘And guess what? He’s sold the little flat he had and bought himself a lovely old cottage. It’s behind the church in Rossmere Road, do you know where I mean?’

  ‘Yes, I think so.’

  ‘I’ve been helping him with the furnishings. We think it looks gorgeous. Perhaps we’ll have time to take you to see it.’

  ‘I’d like that,’ Chloe said. It was a relief to find her mother was all right living on her own. In fact she seemed to be finding life more exciting than Chloe was herself. She pointed out with enthusiasm the two hybrid tea rose trees in their ornamental pots on her patio.

  ‘They’ve improved every year,’ she said. They were in full bloom again. ‘You and Rex gave them to me for a long-ago birthday.’ Red Devil had deep scarlet blooms and Evening Star was white. ‘I love them.’

  Chloe felt the garden was an oasis of peace. She took a deckchair down near the pond and spent a lot of time sitting there in the shade. They ate breakfast and lunch in the summerhouse each day.