Liverpool Love Song

by Anne Baker

  Chloe sat down and tugged Rex down beside her. ‘What d’you need to say to me?’

  ‘I was going to lead up to it gracefully, but . . .’

  She smiled. ‘Never mind the graces.’

  ‘I love you, Chloe. Have done for a long time. I want to marry you. How d’you feel about having me as a husband?’

  ‘I love the idea, but . . . there are things I should point out to you first. I’m flattered to be asked, but I haven’t exactly been what Aunt Goldie calls “a good girl”. I’ve had two children out of wedlock, and she’s told me several times that no decent man would look at me after that.’

  ‘I know all that.’ Chloe could see Rex hesitating, ‘Marigold might not think of me as decent either,’ he said. ‘I’ve done things that are morally wrong.’

  ‘Me too, but I did them for selfish reasons. I wanted fun and thrills. If you did them, it was out of love and compassion for others. Not the same thing.’

  ‘Then let’s say we’ve both done things we regret, but the best thing to do is to put them behind us and forget them. Nobody could love you more.’

  She felt his arm go round her shoulders and pull her closer. She offered up her lips to be kissed and felt his crush down on them.

  A little time later, Rex said, ‘I want everything to be open between us, no secrets. I’m not going to list out all my sins, but if there is anything you need to know about me, I want you to ask.’

  ‘Rex, I’ve know you so long, I think I know everything about you.’

  He kissed her again, and it was some time later that she asked softly, ‘D’you remember? The night Mum died?’

  ‘I’ll never forget it. It was traumatic. I want to explain about me and your mother. I want you to understand how things were between us.’

  Chloe hesitated. ‘There is one thing I’ve wondered about. Did she ask you to help her die?’

  She knew he was shocked. ‘How did you know?’

  ‘I didn’t, I guessed. I couldn’t help but see that Dorothy bag when I made her bed. She kept it close to her always. One night I asked her what she kept in it, and she said “necessities of life”. She showed me a handkerchief, but I think it was just to cover pills. I asked her outright if they were to help her die and she said that I must put that idea right out of my mind.’

  ‘She was trying to protect you, she didn’t want you to be worried.’

  ‘I know that. Did you help her die?’

  She felt him straighten up as though with remembered pain.

  ‘No, but I promised I would. I had to promise, Chloe, because I was afraid she’d ask you if I refused. I didn’t want you to take on that responsibility. And also, she was in such pain.’ His voice was low and full of compassion as he told her about her mother’s plan.

  ‘She knew you’d make me a cake to celebrate my birthday and have a little party round her bed. She told me it would give her a chance to say goodbye to you all and be a happy occasion for you to remember. Later that night she meant to swallow the contents of the Dorothy bag to end her life.’

  ‘That would be a dreadful thing for you to remember. It would give you nightmares.’ Chloe took a deep breath, ‘She was very brave. So were you.’

  ‘But I’ll be eternally grateful,’ Rex said, ‘that nature took over before she did it.’

  ‘Yes.’ Chloe shuddered.

  ‘I was afraid that if she put her plan in action, you and everybody else would think I’d killed her.’

  ‘Rex, no. We all know you’d never do anything to hurt anybody. That’s not your way. And certainly you’d never hurt Mum. We could all see you were devoted to her.’

  He kissed her again. ‘Thank you for trusting me.’

  ‘We all trusted you. But there is something else about the night Mum died. I was in quite a state.’

  ‘So was I, emotional overdrive.’

  ‘I heard Mum say “Look after Chloe and her babies for me.” ’ He kissed her again. ‘She didn’t need to ask that.’

  ‘I heard you tell her so, and her last words were “I know you’ve always loved her.” That did surprise me.’

  Rex pulled her closer still. ‘It surprised me too. I thought I’d kept what I felt for you hidden from her. But she was right, Chloe, I do love you and somehow she’d picked up on it.’

  ‘I knew when I heard Mum say it that she meant real love, not the sort of affection you’d feel for her daughter. But she was in no way upset; in fact I thought she was glad that I’d have you to turn to. That surprised me too.’

  ‘I grew to love you when you were hardly more than a girl, a troubled girl.’

  ‘I was troubled, wasn’t I?’

  ‘Very. Your father had been killed in a climbing accident and you were blaming yourself.’

  ‘D’you know, you were the first person to tell me it wasn’t my fault, that I mustn’t think like that. Mum did afterwards . . .’

  ‘She was troubled too.’

  ‘You’ve been good for both of us. A real rock, and we both hung on to you.’

  ‘Chloe, you stole my heart. I knew by the time you were fifteen that I wanted you to be my wife and nobody else would do. I didn’t dare tell you, or your mother either; she’d have had a fit. I felt I had to wait until you’d grown up.’

  Chloe tried to think back. ‘I always knew you cared about me. You let it show through everything.’

  ‘Did I? But then Adam Livingstone came into your life and I felt an old fool for letting him snatch you away. I wish I’d had the guts to tell you then that I loved you.’

  ‘I doubt it would have done any good.’ Chloe sighed. ‘I can see Adam now for what he truly is, but then . . . No, I wanted to be swept off my feet. Adam was taking me to exciting places, he had plenty of glamour, plenty of style. And I was confusing what you were showing me with fatherly affection.’

  ‘You mean you’d have refused me if I had proposed?’

  ‘Yes, at that time, I think I would.’

  The moonlight was just bright enough for her to see his wry smile. ‘That makes me feel a whole lot better.’

  ‘I needed to grow up. When I found out I was pregant with Lucy, d’you know, I pleaded with Adam to marry me.’

  ‘Chloe, will you marry me now?’

  ‘There’s nothing I want more.’

  ‘I’d have leapt at the chance to marry you at any time. For years I’ve dreamed of it. Longed for it.’

  Chloe put her lips up to be kissed again. ‘It’s getting cold out here,’ she whispered. ‘Let’s move into the summerhouse. With the front closed, it’ll be warmer.’ She clung to his arm as they walked back. All the lights in the house had gone out as they let themselves inside and curled up together on Helen’s day bed.

  CHAPTER THIRTY

  REX WAS STILL WITH Chloe the next morning. She wanted him by her side when she told Aunt Goldie that they were going to be married. While he cooked a special celebratory breakfast of egg and bacon for the three of them, Chloe rang Uncle Walter to ask if he’d mind her being a little late this morning. It was Auntie Joan who picked up the phone, so Chloe told her news.

  ‘Married? You and Rex?’ She was surprised and flustered but offered congratulations and wished them well.

  Goldie came downstairs as Chloe was sitting Lucy up to eat her cereal.

  ‘Married?’ she screamed, aghast. ‘Next month? For heaven’s sake, what’s all the hurry?’

  ‘There’s been no hurry at all,’ Rex told her. ‘I’ve taken my time over it. It’s over five years since I first thought of asking Chloe to marry me.’

  ‘Don’t be ridiculous. Anyway, it would be impossible to get everything ready in a month.’

  ‘Getting ready won’t take me long,’ Chloe said. ‘Not a white wedding, that would hardly be right when I’ve got two children. No fuss, and not a big event.’

  ‘Not a registry office wedding?’ Aunt Goldie was even more shocked. ‘Your mother would never forgive me if I let you do that.’

  ‘A quiet
church wedding then,’ Rex agreed. ‘We must book that straight away.’

  ‘It’ll depend on when the vicar can fit you in,’ Goldie reminded him severely.

  ‘Any weekday morning would suit us,’ Chloe said. ‘I don’t think the vicar should find that too difficult. We’ll have the reception here.’

  ‘Here? I’m not sure about that either. Think of the work it’ll give Peggy. It’ll be too much for her.’

  ‘Perhaps,’ Rex suggested, ‘we should get a firm of caterers in?’

  When Peggy arrived, she was delighted at their news. ‘How many people are you going to invite?’ she wanted to know.

  ‘The family, of course,’ Chloe said. ‘And Rex’s stepfather and his half-brothers from the garden centre and their families. And some of the Bristow’s staff. The girls anyway; they won’t forgive me if I don’t ask them to my wedding. Say twelve or fifteen in all.’

  ‘For heaven’s sake,’ Peggy said. ‘What makes you think that would be too much for me? I could easily do a sit-down dinner for that number, or a cold buffet, whichever you prefer.’

  ‘Peggy, you’re a gem.’

  ‘It’s a bit late to make a traditional wedding cake, though; rich fruit cake needs time to mature.’

  ‘We’ll manage without a cake,’ Rex said.

  ‘Oh, I could make you one, put on all the silver horseshoes and fancy trimmings, but it would probably crumble when you cut into it. I could do a chocolate cake or a sponge if you prefer. Or what about three tiers of different mixtures?’

  ‘That would be lovely,’ Chloe said. ‘You’re good at cakes and the children like sponge.’

  ‘It’s better for my digestion too,’ Goldie agreed. ‘Where are you going to live? Have you decided yet?’

  ‘Here,’ Rex told her. ‘We talked about this last night. Chloe doesn’t want to leave Helen’s garden. I’m going to put my cottage on the market.’

  Chloe saw Goldie’s face fall and knew why. ‘We’ll need to extend this house,’ she said quickly. ‘Aunt Goldie, I want you to think about whether you’d like a granny flat, a bit of space to yourself, or whether you’d prefer to stay with us and all be in one house.’

  ‘A granny flat?’ A smile was spreading across Goldie’s face.

  ‘You think about it,’ Chloe said. ‘This house was great when there was just Mum and me, but the family keeps growing. We’ll be bursting out of it if we go on like this.’

  Goldie shook her head. ‘You and Rex getting married, that’s a right turn-up for the books. What would your poor mother make of it?’

  ‘I think she’d approve,’ Chloe said quietly.

  By the time Chloe reached the office, Uncle Walter had told the girls her news and they were in a frenzy wanting to hear more about Rex.

  ‘I love him,’ she said. ‘He’s very handsome, very kind and wise and he tells me he’s been waiting to marry me since I was fifteen.’

  ‘So that’s why you aren’t waiting any longer?’

  ‘We don’t need to get to know each other.’ Chloe smiled. ‘Rex has been in touch with the vicar this morning and it’s going to be four weeks on Friday.’

  ‘Four weeks,’ they squealed in unison.

  ‘To allow for the banns to be called, ’ Chloe said. ‘If I can be ready by then.’

  ‘We’ll help you.’

  ‘What sort of a dress do you want? We’ll all come with you at lunchtime and try and find you a marvellous one.’

  ‘There won’t be time,’ Chloe protested. ‘We’d have to go in to town to the big shops.’

  But Walter heard them. ‘You can all take a long lunch break today,’ he told them, ‘and get Chloe’s outfit sorted out if you can.’

  Between typing letters, the girls discussed it on and off all morning. They decided that Chloe should look at dressy afternoon gowns.

  ‘Or cocktail dresses,’ Rosemary suggested.

  At lunchtime they quickly ate the sandwiches they’d brought and Walter sent them into town in a company car.

  ‘George Henry Lees is the department store to try first,’ Lydia decided, and the girls were soon picking out floaty chiffon dresses for Chloe to try on. She fancied one in a soft peach shade.

  ‘You look lovely in that,’ Rosemary told her. It was full-skirted and of ballerina length. ‘I’d choose that.’

  ‘No, too summery,’ Chloe decided. ‘It looks wrong for early December and I’ll freeze in it.’

  Her eye was caught by a cocktail suit in heavy velvet, also full-skirted and ballerina length.

  ‘Long sleeves.’ Angela smiled. ‘It’ll be warm, and it’s a lovely shade of blue.’

  ‘Cornflower,’ Lydia said.

  When Chloe tried it on, it felt very comfortable and fitted as though it had been made for her.

  ‘It’s gorgeous,’ Angela breathed.

  ‘Very smart.’

  They marched Chloe from one department to the next and helped her pick out a tiny fashionable hat in the same shade and a pair of dark blue high-heeled court shoes.

  Before leaving, they found her a handbag to match her outfit. ‘You’ll need it for going away,’ they assured her. Chloe was delighted with it all.

  At home that evening, she unpacked parcels to show Aunt Goldie her wedding outfit.

  ‘It’s lovely,’ she said, ‘and very suitable, but take it up to your room. Rex will be here at any minute and he mustn’t see it.’

  Chloe was glad to find that Aunt Goldie had recovered from her ill humour and was now trying to help. ‘What about your honeymoon?’ she asked. ‘Where will you go for that?’

  ‘I haven’t had time to think,’ Chloe said. ‘Though Uncle Walter’s given me a week off.’

  When Rex arrived, he said he hadn’t got round to thinking about the honeymoon either. ‘Do we need to go away?’ he asked. ‘There’s the children to think about.’

  ‘Yes, you must,’ Marigold insisted.

  ‘We could take the children with us,’ Chloe said.

  ‘No.’ Goldie was adamant. ‘You need a rest. At least take a few days alone. You’ve been working very hard, and now there’s all this rush over the wedding.’

  ‘It’s hardly the weather for holidays,’ Rex pointed out. ‘But what about a few days in Snowdonia? We could find a country hotel with blazing log fires and go for walks during the day.’

  ‘That sounds nice.’ Chloe smiled. ‘A complete change. Goldie, you could come too to look after the kids.’

  ‘On your honeymoon?’ Goldie laughed. ‘No, forget the children for once. They’d be easier to manage here at home, happier too, and they’re used to me and Peggy. You and Rex should have a proper honeymoon.’

  For Chloe, her wedding morning was like no other. Usually she was awakened by her children climbing into bed with her. Instead, Aunt Goldie brought her a cup of early-morning tea. ‘Don’t get up yet. You’re to have breakfast in bed. Peggy is setting the tray now.’ She drew back the curtains, ‘It’s a cold frosty morning, but it’s bright.’

  Chloe lay there listening to the sounds of the household; the distant piping voices of her children and the occasional clatter from the kitchen. It felt strange to be waiting up here on her own.

  ‘Good morning.’ Peggy bustled in with her breakfast. Boiled eggs and toast. Tea in the silver teapot and a single late rose in a stem vase. ‘Rex cut that for you last night,’ she told her. ‘He’ll make a good husband, that one.’

  ‘I know,’ Chloe said, and she sat up to eat and think about her future with Rex. He’d already taken the first steps to legally adopt her children, and had said he loved them so much, he’d like to father another.

  When she’d eaten, Chloe got up to have a bath and get ready.

  Their wedding was to take place at eleven thirty, and she could hear Auntie Joan and Goldie setting out the buffet on the dining table. Joan had a hairdresser who regularly came to her house. She’d arranged for her to come this morning to fit on Chloe’s little hat and make her tawny hair look its best.
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  Chloe was ready when Lucy came running into her room to show her mother her own blue velvet outfit. It was one shade darker than Chloe’s; she and Goldie had chosen it for her one Saturday.

  ‘My flowers.’ Lucy held up a tiny posy. ‘Rex made for me. Big flowers for you downstairs.’

  Chloe led her daughter down. Rex had wanted to arrange the wedding flowers. Every vase in the house was filled with blooms, and he’d made sprays and buttonholes for the whole wedding party. Most had come from the garden despite the season. For Chloe, he’d made a bouquet of white stephanotis and fragrant jasmine. For Lucy, there was a tiny replica.

  ‘You look absolutely stunning in that suit,’ Auntie Joan told her. ‘You’re more beautiful than ever. And here’s Walter coming now, it’s almost time to set out.’

  Her uncle was going to drive her to the church and give her away. He came in to kiss her, looking very smart in his formal suit with his gold watch chain across his waistcoat.

  ‘Wait five minutes,’ Joan told him, ‘so we can get there before you.’

  Goldie was ready to leave with the children. She draped Helen’s evening cloak over Chloe’s shoulders to keep her warm on the journey. It made her think of her mother and wish she could be with them today. Rex had suggested she leave her bouquet on Helen’s grave as she left the church, and Chloe thought that a lovely idea.

  The road shone white with frost. It seemed only moments before she was waiting in the church porch, holding on to Walter’s arm. A thrill made her shiver.

  ‘Nervous?’ Uncle Walter asked.

  ‘No. I know Rex too well to have nerves about him.’

  The music changed, and Walter pushed open the door and led her down the aisle. Chloe knew there wouldn’t be many people there, but she saw only Rex standing at the front. He turned as she drew close and smiled at her. A smile that showed his devotion. She had total trust in him.