V is for...Vampire

by Adele Griffin

  Her sister smiled. “My catchphrase is ‘one dollar, please.’ Since that’s what Hudson and I are charging for a tour of our spectacular haunted house.”

  “Good times at Madame Peabody’s, huh?” added Hudson. “We made some awesomely gruesome paintings, and her closet makes a perfect sleep den.”

  Lexie stared at her little brother. “Hud, what’s your costume?”

  Hudson twirled his velvet dress that was covered in paper ladybugs. “I’m Petunia Peabody.” He tossed his silky black wig.

  “She doesn’t really look like that anymore,” said Lexie, but Hudson and Maddy had no memory of what happened at the Peabody house after they’d fallen asleep. Just as well, thought Lexie. Her fangs still ached. Being extra vamp had saved them from Petunia, but she’d had enough of the dark side to last a lifetime.

  Now it was time to repair some more damage. And she wouldn’t be waiting until the elections were over.

  “I made a mistake,” she said to herself. “But what can I say? I’m only human.” Well, almost only.

  At school, tensions were running high. Lexie was dismayed that Dylan kept his distance from her. His glare spoke volumes.

  Mina, on the other hand, bounced right up. “Hello, Yucktopus. Brave costume choice. As if you don’t look enough like a vampire already, you’ve got to add a cape.” Mina herself was dressed in her peachy ballerina tutu.

  “I’m only a pretend vampire,” said Lexie. “I’ve got nothing to hide.”

  “Sell it all you want,” Mina sniped, “but you’re not a regular person, Lexie. You’ve got plenty to hide, and when I find out, I’m telling.”

  “Your bark is worse than your bite,” said Lexie, “but I’m not sure you can say the same thing about me. Good luck with the election.” And for a moment, less than one-tenth of a second, she made her eyeballs go ice clear. Just to turn one lemony yellow hair on Mina’s head prematurely gray.

  Lexie’s eyes changed back to brown so quick, Mina didn’t know what had happened. But she backed away from Lexie, shaking her head.

  Once a vamp, always a vamp. Guess I’m still a work in progress until I’m one hundred percent human, Lexie decided. And that would have to do.

  Mr. Fellows tallied votes at lunch, and he made the announcement after recess. Fifty percent of the votes had gone to Riley Burnett, while the other fifty percent had been divided among Dylan, Mina, Lexie, and Neil.

  And so it ends, thought Lexie with relief.

  “My first order of business,” declared a flushed and victorious Riley, “is to appoint my dream cabinet. If you’re interested, here’s my proposal.”

  Lexie was in-class poet resident and official speechwriter.

  Dylan was sports and leisure captain.

  Mina was social chair.

  Neil Needleburger was vice president.

  “I’m honored,” said Neil after much clearing of his throat.

  “A unified cabinet of former political rivals is unprecedented,” Mr. Fellows commented. “Which means Riley is setting a precedent. Nice job, Riley.”

  “There’s a Halloween party at my house after school,” said Lexie to Mina. “Will you officially announce it? Since you’re social chair.”

  “Uh, okay,” Mina answered, giving Lexie a skeptical eye.

  “I hope you’ll come,” Lexie added. “I’ve got something to show you.”

  Mina shrugged as if she didn’t care, but Lexie could see she was curious. So was Dylan when she told him. “I might have other plans,” he said stiffly.

  “I understand,” Lexie answered, “but I’d love you to be there. I think you’ll get a kick out of it—no pun intended.”

  Back at the house, the Livingstones went to work. First, they set up their Rogues Gallery of their spooky paintings—with a few surprises thrown in. The main one was a blown-up photograph of Lexie, taken three months ago, when she had dressed up as a stalk of broccoli to promote the Broccoli Blast smoothie at the Candlewick Café. It had been the first photograph that she’d ever shown up in, and she had always been extremely proud of it.

  “It’s scary how embarrassed I feel for you,” said Hudson.

  “You sure about this, Lex?” asked Maddy.

  “Yep. I’ve got the dirt on myself, and I’m not afraid to rub it in.”

  Soon Madame Peabody arrived with Petunia’s paintings. “It’s a final tribute, I suppose. Her first and last gallery showing,” she said.

  “She’d be proud of how many kids it’s going to scare,” said Maddy. “Want to sample some horrifying food, Madame? A finger sandwich, perhaps?”

  “Oh! They’re in the shape of real fingers,” said Madame. “I think I’ll pass.”

  “Your house is beautiful!” cried Riley Burnett, who was next to come over along with her new governing cabinet. “Just like on New Providence Island. All the houses there are painted in a sunset palette.”

  Now that’s a good politician, thought Lexie. Riley knew how to say exactly the right thing at exactly the right moment.

  “Step right up,” invited Hudson, “and see the famous Livingstone Haunted House. It’s packed with eco-friendly thrills and chills.”

  “One dollar, please,” said Maddy, cutting in front of Hudson, and there she stayed as more kids turned onto the Livingstones’ street corner.

  “You’re charging us, too?” asked a spotted owl, who stood hand in hand with a manatee. “But we’re endangered.”

  “Sorry,” said Maddy. “No discounts for rare species.”

  Lexie peered closer. “Woo-hoot, stranger. You almost had me.”

  Pete the owl grinned, enjoying his disguise as a whole other nocturnal creature.

  “Which means,” said Lexie, turning to the manatee, “you must be Crunchee.”

  “That’s my environmental name.” The manatee nodded and lifted her mask. “Though you might also know me as—”

  “Get out! Kaylee Milquetoast!” Lexie blinked in amazement as she peered into the famous face of the actress-singer. Then she put a finger to her lips. “Don’t let anyone know you’re here,” she whispered. “Some people want you to be our new school mascot.”

  Frightened, Crunchee-Kaylee re-hid behind her manatee mask.

  “Come on in, both of you. You won’t be disappointed.” And even if Lexie’s heart tugged since she knew that Pete wasn’t going to be all hers, all the time, she made sure her friend didn’t see it.

  “We’ve got a hit on our hands with this house,” said Hudson. “A perfect end to Hallo-month.”

  Lexie had to agree. The horrible paintings, cobwebs, squeaky doors, spare coffins, turnaround bookcases, and rusty armor on the walls had kids roaming everywhere, gasping and ahhhing. Madame had even rigged the piano to play by itself.

  Maddy’s moldy room was of particular interest. “Who could live in such a mildewed mess?” Kids shook their heads in disgust, then screamed as Madame’s remote-controlled pop-out zombie came careening out of her closet.

  “The peach-blossom parrot can live anywhere,” spoke a voice behind Lexie as kids stampeded out in search of the next thrill. “And you always know he’s comfortable if he sleeps with one foot up.”

  Lexie turned. “You came!”

  Mina gave a small smile. “Loo texted and sent me your broccoli picture. I had to see it myself.”

  “Loo sent it to me, too,” said Dylan. “I think she sent it to the whole school.”

  “Dylan.” Lexie couldn’t hide her delight. “Glad you changed your mind.”

  “Way to embarrass yourself,” he said, showing the snap of Lexie the broccoli on his phone. “You look like a world-class goober in that outfit.”

  “Seriously, Lexie, you’re such a freak. I’m amazed that you hang out with hipster kids like Mitzi and Blix,” added Mina. “Are they here? I wanted to invite them to my Fourth of July party. Better book them early before they make other plans.”

  “They went back to Butterscratch,” said Lexie. Then she waited, fingers crossed.


  But Mina just tossed her curls and did a quick pirouette. “Mmm, I smell something good.”

  “Mexican appetizers,” said Lexie quietly. “They’re very savory, if you’d like to try some.”

  As they trooped downstairs, Dylan took her hand. “Sweet party, Lex.”

  “Thanks.”

  Mina was the only girl whose invitation snub could crush her. And Dylan was the only guy whose hand squeeze could give her that throw-uppy-in-a-good-way feeling. Mortal life was so complicated. Still, she wouldn’t trade it for all the eternity in the world.

  The Livingstones didn’t find out about the fate of the pixies until a month or so later, when Lexie picked up the mail.

  A flyer advertising for the “Wildflower Inn” showed a photograph of an upstate country inn with a shimmering pink-and-purple sunset behind it. On the back of the card was scrawled: Come visit. Sends us cupcakes. M. & B.

  “What a darling inn,” said her mother. “Maybe your father and I will grab a getaway weekend.”

  Lexie scrutinized the card. “This image could have been pixi-morphed.”

  “What’s a piximorph?” asked her mother.

  “A prank.” Lexie smiled. “Nothing that you’d ever want to do to anybody.” Then she grabbed a shiny apple from the fruit bowl, tucked her PHOLD under her arm, and went off to be inspired.